When I think about transformation, I often think of when people say they had a “transformational experience,” or when, as religious professionals, we look for the ways in which ministry can be transformational for our congregants.

And it gets me thinking: What is all this transformation about? In my experience, a lot of people really don’t like change. Even people who say they want to be “transformed” also can really not like change! Why would we seek that which we can’t actually embrace? I tend to think it is because our entire human experience is leading to an ultimate transformation which we cannot know the result: death. So sometimes we are, at best, ambivalent, and other times outright hostile to change.

Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower is one of my favorite books about Change. Because in the book she explores the idea that God is not some distant almighty spirit, but rather the very up close and real experience of Change (capital C.) What an exciting idea to explore! Her most often quoted refrain from the book, and that which the central characters revolve, is “All that you touch You Change. All that you Change Changes you. The only lasting truth is Change. God is Change.”

When I first read that phrase as a young adult, it blew my mind! I loved it. I loved the capitalizations which conveyed the idea that what we’re reading in the capitalized word carried with it the reverence of the word God. Here was a religion I could get behind. The idea that I could continually be both transformational and transformed?! Wow!

This idea helped me look at the changes in my young adult life in a new way. It helped me realize that while there was change that I couldn’t control, I could still make that change part of my life. And it helped me realize that I had a deep responsibility for the Change that I created in the world. That Butler chose to capitalize the Y in “All that you touch You Change” was something I thought about frequently. That I continue to think about when faced with difficult situations and decisions.

In Parable of the Sower, the people who couldn’t change, couldn’t adapt, those who desperately clung to racism, sexism, and fascism, did not survive the new climate changed landscape. They met the ultimate Transformation while resisting the very changes which could have helped their survival. And when I think about the difficulties we face as Unitarian Universalists, I think about what it is we are resisting and could those things be the very things that can prepare us for survival?

In creating the community structures of Parable of the Sower, Butler relies heavily on the community building foundations seen in the “We” culture communities in which she was raised. “We” culture communities in the U.S. are most often found in Black, Latinx, Asian, and Indigenous peoples as well as other BIPOC communities. Among many “We” cultural values, most strikingly, the requirement of putting group needs ahead of the individual needs is foundational in Parable of the Sower.

So I wonder: What would it look like to put the needs of our entire faith community ahead of our individual needs? What are the needs of Unitarian Universalism at large? How do we meet those needs even when it feels like we are not getting what we want as individuals? This feels a lot like the conversations which are going on right now around the proposed changes to the UU Principles and Sources, often referred to as Article II.

As we’ve written about in recent issues of Quest, our denomination is in the process of adopting new language to articulate and ground our faith community. This new language is framed as seven UU values: Justice, Equity, Transformation, Pluralism, Interdependence, Generosity and Love.

I wonder if haven’t we actually already made these changes in spirit. Haven’t we already touched, and thus Changed how we practice Unitarian Universalism? What if the proposed changes — the new UU values — are simply the language catching up to the spirit of Unitarian Universalism?

Perhaps we have already touched and been Changed. Because in the end, Change cannot be successfully resisted but it certainly can be influenced. And we can do so together. ′

How do we remain open to change and transformation?

JACK
CLF Member, incarcerated in MA

Transforming is the action of changing every day, and each and every one of us is witness to transforming experiences whether we know it or not.

For those of us in prison: we meet new inmates, new staff. We are exposed to expressions of concern, love, happiness, sadness, sorrow, and even fear. Every one of our senses meets something new or different, something we had not noticed before, something we had not heard before or smelled before, and we can be open to being transformed by them.

So often we think over the years that nothing is new, and prison life never changes; one day in prison can seem like any other. You know what day it is only by what food is served. But each day is new, each day is different. Each day has the opportunity for us to think differently, discover something new, something we didn’t know before. You may discover someone you had only passed in the hall, someone different from those you talk with every day.

Journaling is one of the best ways of always looking for that one thing, that one day that was new. It may be the one thing that transformed your day into something different, or that offered you the opportunity to be transformed in ways we had never thought possible. Use your senses. Look around. Let your mind out of the cell around you. Let your thoughts roam. Dare to be transformed, to welcome change.

JACOB
CLF Member, incarcerated in AR

Being open to change and transformation is an important part of growing spiritually, maturing and succeeding in life. Transformation is to change or alter in some way shape or form. To remain open to this means to put yourself in situations, to experience new things, to learn — especially to learn of other cultures and religions and practice the knowledge you’ve gained.

By keeping your mind open, you stay open to growth, change, and transformation, but you have to want to.

JASON
CLF member, incarcerated in IL

Transformation is an interesting word, especially for someone who has been in institutions for as long as I have.

As I write the word transformation, it makes me think of who and what I used to be. When I was younger, I was full of hate and fear. I acted impulsively and reacted to what people said or did towards me, which got me into a lot of trouble, as well as a number of fights.

Now, I’m no longer filled with hate, and though I still have some fears, they are nowhere near as bad as the ones I used to have. Now, instead of reacting to what people say or do, I take a mental step back, think things through, and then respond to them.

Now, because of the changes I have made and continue to make as I work to transform myself into the person I want to be, my life is a lot less stressful than it could be.

Frances Koziar
CLF member

Our transformations
are our own, paths we choose
but are never forced to take.

What doesn’t kill you does not
make you stronger, but—
you can choose for it to,
learn lessons from your suffering
that help you create what you believe in.

And those transformations are yours
to be proud of, no one
gets to take credit for the good inside of you
or the skills you have worked on, especially
not those who have abused you.

Because you choose your self
if not your path, and that has always
been your strength.

Kay Anderst
CLF Member, incarcerated in KS

When I read that April’s theme was Transformation, I decided that it was time to share my story with the world for the first time. 2024 is a big year for me, as I have begun the Male to Female (MtF) transition process. It took a lot of prayer and soul searching to get to where I am now.

My journey begins in rural South Dakota. My parents are immigrants, I am a first generation American. We are of Eastern European and Jewish descent, so old Testament laws and morals were imprinted into me as I grew up. There was right and there was wrong with no shades of gray or alternate choices. The result of this strict upbringing was inner turmoil as I got older. I saw that my orientation and gender identity were not compatible with what I had been taught.

How can God love me, I thought, when every thought and action I took were tainted by sin? Why did He make me so broken, so against everything He wanted mankind to be? These questions haunted me every time I tried to pray.

In my 20s I turned away from God completely, going years without a single prayer. I embraced a bisexual identity and found a measure of happiness. After a time, I figured out that I was transgender, and it was only then did the pieces start to fall into place.

I was then angry with God. How could he do this to me? Was he asleep at the switch the day I was born?

My turning point came when a woman I was dating told me something. She said that God didn’t make mistakes, and that He put me here on earth because she liked girls like me. I was like this to be there to love her. Something else she pointed out was that there were millions like me, all through history. Would God have allowed so many of us to be made if not by his will?

This happened right before I came to prison. While it helped me make the final decision to make the MtF conversion, I have spent the last 4 years in hiding, biding my time until I felt it was safe enough to come out into the light. While difficult, God has helped me through this dark time. My personal relationship with Him is the strongest it’s been in my entire life.

So now is my time for change and transformation. It’s not an overnight process; in fact it will take a couple years. I will face many challenges ahead, but I know that what I do is by design. This is what He wanted of me. This place, this prison, is no longer my place of confinement.

It is now God’s tool of transformation and change. I am right where I need to be. I will emerge from this cocoon in 2 years and like a butterfly, I will be free to live the life and be the woman he always wanted me to be.

If anyone reading this is contemplating similar choices, or has been down this road before, your welcome to share your story with me.

You may contact me at: Kay Anderst 18611-273, PO Box 1000 USP 2, Leavenworth, KS 66048.

October 2022

“When you go in search of honey, you must expect to be stung by bees.” -Joseph Joubert

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