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☐ ☆ ✇ Side With Love

Available Now: Why We Cannot Turn Away: Resources for UUs Engaging Palestine & Israel

By: Side With Love

We are grateful for the presence of so many hundreds of people at the November 6 event, “Why We Cannot Turn Away: Resources for UU Leaders Engaging Palestine & Israel.” We apologize for the delay in release of these materials, although unfortunately the violence in the region continues and these conversations are very much still ongoing. We hope you will find these resources helpful for both your own learning and reflection and that of your congregations and communities. 

We are keenly aware that members of our Unitarian Universalist community do not all share an identical analysis of the history of the region or the realities of the current crisis, and yet what is clear is that we are all united by our shared heartbreak over the killing, kidnapping, displacement and violence impacting so many of our human siblings, regardless of their national identities. 

As you continue to engage in communal learning, action, and lament in your congregations and communities, please feel free to use these resources in whatever way is helpful to you. You can find the full recording here, as well as the presentation slides, which you may use freely in whole or in part. You can also find more information on many of the issues covered in the webinar in our “Why We Cannot Turn Away:” Expanded Resource Guide; please feel free to share this with whoever needs it. You are also invited to refer back to the October 17th UUA Statement on the Humanitarian Catastrophe in Gaza and Israel for both the UUA’s statement on the current crisis and a dive into the history of our collective UU engagement with issues related to Israel/Palestine over the past 40 years. 

We recognize that given the intensity of this moment, not all of us are in a space for deepening our learning, taking action, or consuming more perspectives, coverage, or information; many among us simply need spaces in which to grieve, rage, and be held. We are pleased to offer you this template for small-group conversation circles, intended for use in your congregations as a way to invite your people into a space of heart-centered listening and reflection. The template includes facilitator instructions, recommended group agreements, an opening prayer and ritual, and questions for reflection.

We are keenly aware that the current catastrophe is far from over, and the ripples will continue to touch the whole world for the foreseeable future. As Unitarian Universalists, we are committed to continuing to learn and heal together, struggling for justice and liberation for all, and working toward a global community in which all people are safe and free from violence in all its forms. 

In faith and solidarity, 

The Rev. Ashley Horan, UUA Organizing Strategy Director

The Rev. Summer Albayati, UUA Pacific Northwest Regional Staff

The Rev. Kelly Weisman Asprooth-Jackson, Senior Co-Minister, First Unitarian Society of Madison, WI

The Rev. Ranwa Hammamy, Side With Love Congregational Justice Organizer

The Rev. Leah Ongiri, Acting Director of Lifespan Faith Formation and Family Ministries, First Unitarian Church of Portland, OR

The Rev. Sana Saeed, UUA Central East Regional Staff


Available Now: Why We Cannot Turn Away: Resources for UUs Engaging Palestine & Israel

☐ ☆ ✇ Side With Love

Our final days of 30 Days of Love 2023

By: Side With Love

Beloveds,

In their recently-released draft of the new Article II of our UUA bylaws, the Article II Commission writes, “The purpose of the Unitarian Universalist Association is to actively engage its members in the transformation of the world through liberating Love.” I’ve heard many folks ask, “What do we mean by ‘liberating Love?’” The A2C writes:

Love is the power that holds us together and is at the center of our shared values. We are accountable to one another for doing the work of living our shared values through the spiritual discipline of Love.

At its core, the work of Side With Love is to be a hub for connection, growth, nourishment and action that allows Unitarian Universalists and our partners to live out our values in the world. Together, we deepen our political analysis, sharpen our skills, articulate our theological grounding, and mobilize our communities to build a world in which all of us are free and thriving. 

And – we are so aware that the work of transforming the world through liberating love is something that started long before any of us was born, and that will carry on long after we have become the ancestors of memory. The work is shared, and it is unending – as the oft-quoted truism of Rabbi Tafron in the Jewish Mishnah text Pirkei Avot goes, “You are not required to finish the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.” 

We hope, then, that you have found some nourishment for the long-haul work of liberation during these 30 Days of Love. We have been so blessed by the weekly offerings from this diverse group of bold, loving, faithful religious leaders. We hope as you’ve taken moments to drink in these blessings and practices and prayers and stories, you have felt as wrapped in love and as buoyed by feeling the web of connections that exist among us as we have. Please feel free to keep coming back to these resources throughout the year ahead – use them to start your day in your own spiritual practice, to provide grounding to your group before the meeting or workshop, or as an offering in communal worship. 

This week, we offer you a few final gifts: a prayer from Rev. Sofía Betancourt, a body practice from Rev. Leela Sinha, and a grounding meditation from Rev. Lynn Gardner . May they bless and fortify you. 

Beloveds, we are so grateful to be in the work of love and liberation together with you. Thank you for all the faithful ways you show up throughout the year, struggling for justice and blessing the world with care, hope, and love. 

May we all be transformed by liberating Love. 

In faith and solidarity,


Rev. Ashley Horan

Side With Love Organizing Strategy Director


Our final days of 30 Days of Love 2023

☐ ☆ ✇ Side With Love

Susquehanna Valley Congregation Aims to Transform Intimidating Challenges into Approachable Actions

By: Side With Love

By Jeff Milchen

Reverend DC Fortune and Sara Phinney Kelley, Director of Religious Growth and Learning at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Susquehanna Valley in Pennsylvania, were looking for inspiration as they brainstormed developing a multigenerational, interactive service preceding Martin Luther King Day this year. They discussed incorporating New Year’s resolutions into the sermon but sought to find a way to make the discussion something that would involve UU justice priorities and stick with participants, rather than just spark momentary ideas.

The resulting project had an unlikely source of inspiration: a 1972 Playboy magazine interview with Buckminster Fuller, the architect, inventor, and philosopher (among other roles). Fuller compared the challenge of steering an ocean liner to bending the arc of history toward justice. Rudders on these ocean vessels extend several stories in height and weigh many tons, so moving them directly would require huge amounts of force and fuel.

But the invention of trim tabs—basically small plates attached to the rudder—solved this challenge. When the ship's captain turns a steering wheel, it slightly rotates these small plates, which disrupts the water pressure just enough to enable the giant rudder to move easily.

As individuals, Fuller explains, few of us have the power to move the rudder on societal injustices directly, but we can disrupt the status quo in small ways that facilitate much larger movements. Fuller believed in this concept so deeply that his gravestone and adjacent plaque were inscribed “Call Me Trimtab” upon his death in 1983.

In preparing the service for the Susquehanna Valley UU, Fortune and Kelley seized upon a Fuller invention, the geodesic dome. Fuller conceived the domes as a lightweight, inexpensive, and energy-efficient home design, though numerous drawbacks ultimately precluded mass adoption. Combining the geodesic model with the idea of trim tabs, Fortune and Kelley imagined building a complete geodesic sphere, not as a shelter, but as a physical expression of individuals' resolutions for ways in which they will positively impact issues they care deeply about. It would be a way to engage folks physically as well as intellectually.

After finding an online calculator to provide the needed number and dimensions of triangles for the five-foot diameter sphere, Fortune purchased light plywood and zip ties, cut the triangles, and drilled holes for connections. For the engineers and geometry fans out there, the dome required a combination of 60 isosceles and 20 equilateral triangles, as shown in the photo below, and used five sheets of plywood.

Fortune recalls, “we had the good sense to do a trial run” of their plan before the service and realized constructing the sphere would take much longer than the course of the service. Fortune, Kelley, and volunteers built the sphere prior to the service and rolled it into the sanctuary. Each congregant was asked to pick one of more than 100 triangular pieces of paper and write a particular justice issue, a hurt of the world that needed to be addressed but that just felt too big for them, and write it in the middle of the triangle. An array of choices for paper and marker colors added to the appeal. Though Fortune and Kelley had kids in mind, Fortune noted, “Omigod--adults fight over marker colors more than kids!” 

Participants then were asked to place in each corner of their triangle one small “trim tab” action they would take to help make a small difference on their priority issue. Everyone proceeded to stick their ideas and resolutions onto one of the triangles on the sphere, which will remain in place until after the conclusion of the annual 30 Days of Love campaign, another inspiration for the sermon and activity. Kelley says they also made it easy for remote participants, who simply typed their issue and trim tab ideas into the chat box for on-site volunteers to add.  

“We’ve been striving to make services more interactive,” said Kelley, but expressed concern about how the activity would be received. “Universally, people said this was fun and interesting,” said Kelley. Many senior congregants mentioned their enthusiasm for seeing kids involved in the service. All who missed the MLK weekend service are invited to add their ideas to the sphere through mid-February and subsequent sermons by Fortune and lay leaders reference the concerns and resolutions it contains.

Once it’s removed from the sanctuary, Kelley will inventory the ideas congregants placed and she believes the record will provide valuable guidance for decisions about which justice issues the congregation tackles collectively. Climate Justice is one oft-cited concern and Kelley mentioned they now are exploring UUA’s Green Sanctuary program. Kelley also mentioned how many young people cited capitalism and excessive wealth disparities as a concern. Many congregants’ resolutions included speaking out more and immersing themself in material presenting issues from the perspective of oppressed people.

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Fortune shared an interesting observation from the dome construction process, noting, “the dome was totally unstable when it was almost done.” Not until the 80th and final piece was connected did the sphere have the structural integrity to cohere when moved.

You can watch or listen to Rev. Fortune’s MLK Day service on YouTube.

Susquehanna Valley Congregation Aims to Transform Intimidating Challenges into Approachable Actions

☐ ☆ ✇ Misc ind sites

Blessing the Backpacks -- Backpack Charm Craft Instructions

By: Cynthia L. Landrum
From my wonderful colleagues I got the idea of doing a "blessing of the backpacks" as the children of the congregation go off to school.  It's not a new idea -- Christian churches have been doing it for years, and apparently some UUs, too -- but I had never heard of it before.  Churches often apparently put some sort of zipper pull tag on the backpacks.  Here's an example found on Pinterest:


A couple of colleagues shared their ideas, and some images, in a closed Facebook group, which started me thinking.  I'm fairly crafty with things like this, so I knew I could come up with something.  I was inspired by Karen G. Johnston's example created by her DRE and a member, but couldn't figure out their fancy knots:
http://awakeandwitness.net/2015/08/27/blessing-of-the-backpacks-a-mini-primer/
But, on the other hand, I do have some tricks up my own sleeve.
Here's my prototype:

My prototypes cost me over a dollar each to make, but to make in bulk they'll cost less than 30 cents apiece, not counting tools or jump rings.  You start with 1-inch bottle caps, the kind that are designed for jewelry and crafts.  You can get them in silver, black, mutli-colored, patterned -- really any way you want.  The ones that I used are also described as flattened bottle caps, but you can get ones that are more bottle-cap like.  My price of $0.30 each is based on using these:

Print out your pictures, sizing your pictures to one-inch.  Your church logo or the UUA logo would work nicely in these.   As you can see, I used one of my Zentangle chalices, on a star-shaped background. Please do check with me before using my artwork.  I liked the symbolism of the star for kids who are all stars. 
I can get about 45 onto one page.  And here's the big secret: I print these out on full sheets of label paper.  That makes my chalice self-adhesive, which simplifies what could be the messiest, gunkiest, error-prone stage of the process.  Label paper seems pricey, but when you price it out per item if you're making a ton of these, it's less than one cent per chalice.

You'll need to acquire a one-inch circular punch.  I like Martha Stewart's punches for my scrapbooking, so I got hers. 

Punch out your circles on the label paper.  And the next step is that BEFORE you remove the backing, stick a one-inch clear circular epoxy sticker on top of that circle.  This makes the backing much easier to get off, really.  And you're going to stick the epoxy sticker on anyway.  So do it in this order and trust me.  Then just remove the label backing and pop that circle into your bottle cap.  The bottle caps I got came pre-punched with holes and jump rings in them, so it was important to line up the top of the sticker with the top of the bottle cap.  Bottle caps are cheaper if you don't buy them punched, though, so you'll need a bottle cap punch, and then jump rings or split rings if the hole it makes is too small for your ball chain.  Probably any metal punch of the right size would do, but they sell ones specifically for this.

Jump rings are not priced into my 30 cents each, but they're less than a penny each, if you buy bulk.  This is where you have a difficult choice to make, because jump rings open up very easy if a kid is pulling on this backpack charm, but split rings are a pain to put on.  My more expensive bottle caps came with split rings already on them.  I think there's probably a tool to make those jump rings easier (I do see things called "Split ring pliers, but they just look like needle-nosed pliers with a sort of hook on the end).  If someone knows if these are helpful, please inform us in the comments.  I mostly just juggle around and pry with my needle-nose pliers until I get them opened.  They're like little mini key chains, and you know what a pain it can be to get keys on and off a regular key chain!

So that's the chalice bottle cap part of the charm done.  Next I got some bright peace sign beads to add on.  I'd add UU beads, except that I don't have any alphabet beads where the hole is big enough for the ball chain to go through.  But that would be a nice option.  Turns out you can get packs of all Us. 

And then lastly add a ball chain key chain of about four inches.  You can get these in packs pre-cut.

And there you have it!  Cute backpack charms for the blessing of the backpacks!
☐ ☆ ✇ Misc ind sites

The Trouble with Truancy - Part 2

By: Cynthia L. Landrum
As my letter in Part 1 of this series illustrated, it's fairly easy to have a truant child.  Missing two weeks due to illness is quite easy to have happen, and the requirement that many districts have that a doctor's note is the only way to excuse the absence means a classist system of who can and will have absences excused and who will end up with a truant child.  All other things being equal, two children out for two weeks with the same two colds can end up with very different fates, not because of the nature of the child, or the diligence of the parent, but simply for economic reasons.

That income levels and truancy are related is no surprise.  A recent MLive article reported:
"Some districts, including many affluent suburban ones, reported little or no truancy. The Forest Hills schools outside Grand Rapids reported five truant students among 10,147 enrolled, and Bloomfield Hills in suburban Detroit just 32 out of 12,306. But Kentwood, another metropolitan Grand Rapids district, had 590 truant cases, representing 6.8 percent of its students, according to the data."

So what?  What does it matter if a child is labeled truant?  Well, it turns out it matters a great deal.   In Michigan, a truant child can mean a fine to a parent, and even jail time

Well, apparently that wasn't enough for our Michigan Republicans who control our legislature.  This week, Governor Snyder signed a new bill into law that cuts welfare to families if a child is truant. 

So imagine, if you will, a low-income family with three children.  The youngest child gets sick for a week, and the parent keeps her home.  It's a mild cold, so there's no need to see a doctor, but the child misses a week of school.  Now they have 5 of the 10 days towards being considered truant.  The child gets sick again.  The family can't afford to see a doctor, but keeps the child home again.  Now the child is truant.  The parents are then fined for having a truant child.  And, now, our government takes food away from the whole family. 

Governor Snyder said, "Much like the Pathways to Potential program, this legislation brings together parents, schools and the state to determine obstacles that keep students from being in school and how to overcome them."  When my child was sick a couple of years ago with a mild cold and I wrote the letter to my school board in frustration, it did bring parents and school together.  My child's principal had told me there was no way she could excuse the absence without a doctor's note.  The school board seemed to hear the situation, and agree that the policy was flawed.  Two years later, the policy is still (or back) in place.  Children are still being considered truant because of illness and income.  Now Governor Snyder thinks this will bring together parents, schools, and state?  Yes, it will -- unnecessarily.  It's completely unnecessary to bring the state into this level of involvement between schools and parents.  The fact that it's penalizing lower income people who are already struggling with the truancy laws is unconscionable. 
☐ ☆ ✇ Misc ind sites

The Trouble with Truancy - Part 1

By: Cynthia L. Landrum
Two years ago, I wrote our school district about the truancy policy.  At that time, I was told that I had presented a good case, and they were going to change their policy.  I don't know if it actually did change and then changed back, but looking at the policy on my school district's webpage, the policy is the same as the one I complained about.  In this post, I'll share that letter.  In my next post, I'll talk about why it matters, and what the Michigan government has just done that makes this even worse.


Dear JPS School Board,

I’m writing to you because I’ve been disturbed about the JPS elementary school attendance policy for some time.  Specifically, I find it disturbing that the only way an absence can be “excused” is with a doctor’s note.  My chief issue with this policy is that I think it is, in a word, classist.  In addition, I think that it represents a misuse of the medical system and it fails to respect a parent’s reasonable judgment.

The policy as it now stands requires a doctor’s note to excuse an absence.  I am fortunate to have insurance and have a family doctor I can turn to.  Even so, it may require a $20 co-pay for a visit before a doctor will be willing to write a letter, which may mean a $20 fee for a note to excuse an absence for what I know is a cold with a mild fever.  Since I’m following our school’s procedures of keeping a child home when sick, I’ll need to do this if I think she might be sick for even five days total per year.  This is doable for me, if I’m worried about the situation.  However, for a family in a harder economic situation, that $20 co-pay can be onerous.  But that’s assuming a family has a regular doctor and has insurance beyond catastrophic coverage only.  I’m certain that not all families in our school district do, with more than half of the children in our county living in poverty (http://www.mlive.com/news/jackson/index.ssf/2012/01/report_more_jackson_county_chi.html).  As you well know, most of our elementary schools qualified for the federal program supplying free school lunches for our children based on the poverty rates of our area. 

What we are creating, therefore, is a system wherein wealthier students when they get sick are less likely to be considered truant and poorer children are more likely to be considered truant, based not on their real truancy rates, but based on their access to affordable medical care.  The schools need to be helping address income inequality between our students, not creating further income inequality.

Beyond issues of class, however, this system represents a misuse of the medical system and a lack of respect for the judgment of parents.  To return to my own child’s situation, we’re told we’re supposed to keep children home if they have any fever.  However, when I keep my child home with a sniffle and a temperature that’s up one or two degrees, as I have done today, I therefore also need to call my child’s doctor and get a note from her.  In the past, the doctor has told us with cold-like symptoms and a very mild fever there’s no need for the child to see a doctor unless the condition persists beyond a couple of days.  I therefore know that there’s no need, other than the JPS policy, to seek a medical professional’s advice.  Today we called the doctor, anyway, to try to meet the policy demands.  However, we haven’t received a call back yet.  Sometimes they’ve been willing to provide a note for school without seeing her and, really, what does that prove, except that we have a good relationship with our doctor?  If they won’t write a note for today without seeing her, I’ll need for her to see the doctor, in order to prove she was sick.  My daughter may be well tomorrow, but I would need to pull her out of school tomorrow in order to get the note to excuse the first day’s absence.  (The note would probably then say that my child’s absence wasn’t excused, because she was fine by the second day.)  So now my child would have been out for one and a half days when one day would have sufficed, wasting the doctor’s time, my time, and my child’s time, just because of a poor policy.  Frankly, I’m unwilling to pull my child out of school for an unnecessary doctor’s appointment, because school is more important to me than your attendance policy.  So if this happens for eight days per year, my child will probably be referred to a truant officer for early truancy intervention.  My hope is that if this happens, “early truancy intervention” is something which focuses on telling other parents to keep their children home when they’re sick so that my child can catch fewer colds and miss fewer days, or helps set up free clinics for parents without insurance!  Of course, you can see that we’re caught it a Catch-22.

To not accept my word that my child has a mild fever and a sniffle is to disrespect my judgment as a parent, one who does care about my child’s medical status and knows that a doctor visit is not necessary.  To have to pursue it with a reluctant physician, as well, is a misuse of the medical establishment, and disrespectful to our physician, as well. 

If you all think back to the days when you were a child, and were home sick with a mild cold, you’ll remember that your parent probably called the school and told them you were sick, and that was the end of the matter.  There should be a way to continue to do this.  Be creative.  While the occasional problem of a parent keeping a child out of school more for other reasons may exist, there are ways to address this without creating a burdensome system with a difficult financial cost to the parents to it. 

Thank you for considering my argument.  I hope I have managed to convey my issue respectfully, although this policy frustrates me every time my child has been home sick.  I understand not excusing a family vacation, or even a trip to the dentist, but if you want parents to keep sick children home, as I know you do, I hope you will consider making it easier for us to do so. 

Sincerely,
Cynthia L. Landrum
Parent
☐ ☆ ✇ Misc ind sites

The Importance of Friendship

By: Cynthia L. Landrum
When I was a child, I went to a UU church that was a larger-sized church for a church in our movement.  The church religious education program was large enough to have paid staff, and a different classroom for every two grade levels through 7th grade, an eight-grade class of its own for coming of age, and an active high school group.  But a church that size often comes in a larger metro area, as was the case with Birmingham Unitarian Church in Bloomfield Hills, MI.  And so, in my school, I was one of only a small hand-full of families with Unitarian Universalist children in our school district of Ferndale, and in my grade there was only one other UU.  I was lucky--I think my two sisters had no other UUs in their grade in our school.  When I got to High School as a freshman, there were still the two of us UUs in a graduating class of over 300, and three UUs that I knew of in the school, although I later found that there were two sisters who went to another one of the metro area UU churches.

Now I'm in a smaller church and a smaller city, and the situation is very much the same.  We have a smaller church school, with K-5 in one class.  As I think about our UU children and youth, I don't think we have any two families with grade-school children in the same school.  I think we have children in Jackson schools, Columbia schools, Hanover-Horton schools, Grass Lake schools, and a couple more school districts further north of Jackson, but no two children in the same school from different families.  At the High School level, it's possible that we have more than two families with children in the same school district, if we count members who are not active in the church and whose children don't come to religious education classes, but our few active teens are all, I think, in separate school districts.

What these two examples tell me is that the vast majority of UU children and youth grow up fairly religiously isolated in their school lives.  Before we get to college, where we're in educational systems with thousands of students, we don't have enough critical mass to, for example, form high-school-based religious club.  And it also means that our children in religious education classes pretty much only see each other once a week.  Occasionally strong friendships can form--some of my daughter's best friends are her church friends--but it's harder for our children to make friends with children from their own religion.

There are positive things about this, of course.  It means we raise flexible, tolerant children, who are good at being allies and bridge-builders.  It means our children learn quickly and early how to relate to people of other religions and appreciate and embrace that diversity.

But it has its drawbacks in terms of support for our children when they face religious intolerance, which they sometimes do.  And I think it's also a factor in retention.  My child wants to go to church so often for the primary reason that she loves the other children there and doesn't get to see them any other time of the week.  But if she hadn't made those strong bonds there, there would be much less drive from her to go to church.  And, as we see, our teens often start to get to be reluctant to go to church, and we lose them.  I continued to go to church as a teen despite any strong friends who were active in my youth group, because we had a strong program--it had a sizable group, it was fun, and it was engaging. But if you have a small group, and no strong friendships, it's a rare UU youth who will prioritize religious education in a busy teen schedule.

Unfortunately, this means rocky roads for most UU religious education programs -- there's simply no magic formula to making friendships happen so that children will want to come to church. The best answer I have is this: One of the primary reasons someone comes to a UU church for the first time is because the person has been invited by someone that person knows.  What better person to invite than the parent(s) of your child's best friend?  If it works, you gain a friend at church, your church gains a member, and your child gains a reason to want to go to church. 

I can think of no better way to help our children be less religiously isolated, to help grow our religious education programs and churches, and to build the drive in our children and youth to want to come to church.
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