Hello Everyone,

I need some advice for dealing with the local UU congregation. Some background, my mother is in the final stages of dementia, she's nonverbal and in a full time care facility. My father is also starting to decline. He has been diagnosed with executive function disorder and has a hard time remembering things. My brother has power of attorney, and we are starting to take over financial management but that has just started (roughly at the end of April).

So the problem. Over the past twenty or so years, my father was donating $500/year to the UU congregation. However, from November to January, he donated $3000. When we asked he mentioned something about not realizing he had sent so many checks but that he only sent them when he was asked about the status of his tithe by the Minister or other members of the Church leadership team.

They have cashed all the checks.

My father doesn't have a lot of money. We are doing our best to help and support him but this seems like something of a blow. I'm going to pull out a loan to cover the memory facility bills for my father, but I'm really upset about this.

So far the Minister and the people in charge of the accounts at the Church have not been helpful - and to add salt to the wound they knew he was struggling. I kind of feel like they were taking advantage of his memory issues. They've even asked if it is so bad that he gave them so much since it will go to good causes. I'm pretty sure my mother's medical care is a good cause.

Are we screwed? Is there any chance to get that money back?