I haven't encountered these problems anywhere else. I moved to a new city a few years ago and joined the local UU church. I also joined the subgroup of that church for secular humanists, headed up by an individual I shall call jerkface.

Three years ago Jerkface stated during a committee meeting that he didn't understand the new push for reaching out to the black community because "they are all Southern Baptist anyway and don't want any part of us."

The local UU congregation now has a non-binary minister who uses they pronouns. Jerkface does not use these pronouns, and I've called him out on it multiple times in person. Jerkface recently sent an email explaining why singular they is neither historically nor grammatically correct. I responded with my Linguistics BA that he was mistaken and got blowback from him. I forwarded that email chain to the admin office with commentary regarding my concerns re Jerkface being in leadership.

I'm officially out of UU for now and am extremely frustrated that it was just one bad congregation that pushed me here. I've been a member of four UU congregations over the years and can't imagine this happening anywhere else.