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☐ ☆ ✇ Unitarian Universalist

Christian-My relationship with God is more important than my human relationships

By: /u/balconylibrary1978

I recently had a friend who told me that "his relationship with God is more important than my human relationships." This person is a Catholic that desires to go into the priesthood. How would a UU respond to this?

I think that "God" the force or the thing that it is can be found in things like friendships and relationships and we interact with that force through those things (just like art, music. literature, nature walks....). To me a "relationship" with something invisible is not paramount to something earthly. Thoughts?

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☐ ☆ ✇ Unitarian Universalist

Adult Forum Ideas

By: /u/balconylibrary1978

I am in the process of becoming the adult forum coordinator at my Unitarian Universalist congregation. I have been working with the minister and members of congregation on ideas for programming, but also would like to have programs that draw in young and new people. Does anyone have any ideas for what works in adult programming to draw people in from outside our community?

For example one thing I am proposing is a “Banned Book Book Club.” Our church has a banned book library (I live in a red state passing all sorts of crazy laws) and I think this would be a great program to go along with this.

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☐ ☆ ✇ Unitarian Universalist

UU Congregations Need to Do Better on How They Respond to Mental Health and Addiction

By: /u/balconylibrary1978

This has been a troubling trend that I have seen in my UU congregation that I attend at least twice in the 20 years that I have been attending. It feels like our congregation is either not sure or doesn't want to deal with folks that enter our presence that are struggling with mental health and addiction issues.

What brings this up is there has been a young man who started attending service and participating in activities when we reopened post-Covid. I am starting to realize that I am the person in the congregation that has probably bonded with this person the most since they have been there, including socializing with them outside of the church setting. Over time I have noticed some possible mental health and/or addiction concerns that are going on with this person. They recently returned after months-long hiatus and whatever is going on seems to be getting worse. This person has told me that they struggle with some mental health things, but the conversations also lead me to speculate addiction issues as well.

What is bothersome is how I have been dismissed by my congregation when I try to discuss these issues with them. Or am told things like "he is trying to sort things out in life" or repeat the face saving reason he gave when he left the first time (even though I knew more was going on). I am not doing it to gossip, but rather out of concern. It is my hope that the church would build a welcoming sense of community around this young man. We have a number of folks in the congregation who work in mental health, social work and other related professions who could address these concerns. I also am looking for support in responding to our relationship.

The minister has been marginally more supportive of my relationship with this person, but stated that he can't really do much unless this person comes to him with their concerns, or are experiencing suicide ideation, are being disruptive or are a threat. I have another meeting with him next week to discuss this issue. But he did tell me that he has noticed that this young man is "anguished by something" when he sees him in the pew.

I ran into this our congregation 10 or so years back with another person going through similar issues. The church also took kind of a "hands off" approach as well. That person ended up dying by suicide.

Is this something that folks experience in other UU congregations or have answers as to how I could respond to this better?

submitted by /u/balconylibrary1978
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☐ ☆ ✇ Unitarian Universalist

GA Sunday Worship Services

By: /u/balconylibrary1978

Why does the GA Sunday worship service always come off as cringeworthy? The last few GAs that they have held them, it reminds me more of something that I would experience in an Evangelical Christian church vs anything type of Sunday worship that I have experienced in a UU congregation over the last 20 years. What is with the dancing and various body movements that people are doing when they are singing hymns?

Granted, I only watched the service through a video feed at my local church so the actually being there might be a different experience. But these services need to be done better if they are a vehicle to attract people to UUism.

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☐ ☆ ✇ Unitarian Universalist

Young Adults in the UU Church usually don’t stay for long

By: /u/balconylibrary1978

On dynamic that I have noticed in our UU congregation is that when young adults attend or become members, most only stay for a few months to at most a few years. This seems to be more true of young adults who don’t have children. What is even more sad and frustrating is that some even get heavily involved in congregational life before they leave. I understand that people move and have life changes, but this seems to mostly be the case (it also happens in other community organizations). I wonder if this happens in UU communities elsewhere and what we can do to change this cultural dynamic in our congregations?

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☐ ☆ ✇ Unitarian Universalist

Do you ever participate in spiritual communities other than UU for services and programming?

By: /u/balconylibrary1978

Is there anyone in this thread that participates in regular worship/programs/events in another spiritual community other than your UU congregation? I go back and forth between UU and the local Episcopal Church regularly. I love the stimulating and intellectual sermons and programs that the UU church offers, not to mention a like minded liberal community. On the other hand enjoy the liturgy and especially the music that the Episcopal Church offers. I especially love their services at Christmas and Easter. Also the local UU church mastered virtual worships, programs and social events much better during the pandemic than the Episcopalians did.

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☐ ☆ ✇ Unitarian Universalist

Constant Sermons about Church Development

By: /u/balconylibrary1978

One of the things I have noticed in the local UU congregation is the fact that the minister frequently gives thinly veiled sermons about church development, especially in the area of church fundraising or volunteering your time (but especially about money). The sermons often have an attention getting title like "Exploring Your Relationship With the UU Church" or some such thing. I actually want to explore my spirituality, not be guilted that I have to give more money or time to the church. I do understand that the light bill and staff need to be paid (or the coffee made for after the service). But the constant sermons about development can be a turnoff to members or attendees that don't have the means or are of a lower socioeconomic class.

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