This has been a troubling trend that I have seen in my UU congregation that I attend at least twice in the 20 years that I have been attending. It feels like our congregation is either not sure or doesn't want to deal with folks that enter our presence that are struggling with mental health and addiction issues.
What brings this up is there has been a young man who started attending service and participating in activities when we reopened post-Covid. I am starting to realize that I am the person in the congregation that has probably bonded with this person the most since they have been there, including socializing with them outside of the church setting. Over time I have noticed some possible mental health and/or addiction concerns that are going on with this person. They recently returned after months-long hiatus and whatever is going on seems to be getting worse. This person has told me that they struggle with some mental health things, but the conversations also lead me to speculate addiction issues as well.
What is bothersome is how I have been dismissed by my congregation when I try to discuss these issues with them. Or am told things like "he is trying to sort things out in life" or repeat the face saving reason he gave when he left the first time (even though I knew more was going on). I am not doing it to gossip, but rather out of concern. It is my hope that the church would build a welcoming sense of community around this young man. We have a number of folks in the congregation who work in mental health, social work and other related professions who could address these concerns. I also am looking for support in responding to our relationship.
The minister has been marginally more supportive of my relationship with this person, but stated that he can't really do much unless this person comes to him with their concerns, or are experiencing suicide ideation, are being disruptive or are a threat. I have another meeting with him next week to discuss this issue. But he did tell me that he has noticed that this young man is "anguished by something" when he sees him in the pew.
I ran into this our congregation 10 or so years back with another person going through similar issues. The church also took kind of a "hands off" approach as well. That person ended up dying by suicide.
Is this something that folks experience in other UU congregations or have answers as to how I could respond to this better?
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