I've been going to virtual services for two local congregations for a while with the intention of finding one to throw in with. I'm pretty split on which one I like better.

For one of them, the pastor has a stronger sermon, definitely better researched, and with more spiritual depth, though without being biased towards a particular theology. It also seems to be more established in their community (they seem to have more ministries and actually have a physical church). On the other hand, the music selection is really off-putting. The performers are talented, but the music choices do not speak to us. Additionally, the youth services (my wife and I are expecting) seem a tad underdeveloped, but it is also understandable since they seem like an older crowd.

The flip side is that the other congregation has a seemingly more developed youth program. The music selection is also much, much better. I think we might mesh better socioculturally with this crowd. However, while the youth services program is more developed, it also seems to be more social-club-y and less spiritually-oriented. Additionally, the sermons tend to hit a little soft with the message. Some of them even seem unprepared/improvised. Their ministries seem underdeveloped as well, and they don't have an actual chapel or physical base, but (pre-COVID) would rent the auditorium from a local high school.

I don't think I'm actually asking the community to pick for me. I am just asking for general advice on how to choose a congregation. Has anyone ever had this experience where they had ambivalence with all their options? If so, how did you reconcile it? Thanks!

I've studied/practiced many religions over the years. While I'm not part of a UU congregation currently, I have been in the past and have been thinking of checking one out in my current area.

One thing I've noticed is that it seems UU is the only arena where multiple faiths can cross paths. Not only that, they can get along with each other. My impressions is that this boils down to a philosophy that's essentially, "You do you, I'll do me".

However, I then consider the old parable of the blind men and the elephant. Each only feeling a part of the elephant and drawing their own (inaccurate) conclusions from there. I would think they all would have been better off comparing notes with each other. While they likely still not have developed a fully accurate concept of the elephant, they all would have come closer than their individual conclusions. It would have been a good method to help mitigate the shortcomings of the subjectivity of human experience.

And, so I wonder why UUs don't seem to do this (at least not in the congregations I've seen). Rather than throwing all the theologies together to triangulate or find the common threads that transcend subjectivity, the sociocultural dynamics are set up to preserve and insulate the individual experience. In other words, it seems encouraged to maintain individually constructed theosophy rather than attempt to connect our experience with others to expand, challenge, and possibly evolve a theology/theologies.

Maybe it was just the congregations I saw, but I felt it was essentially discouraged to have these conversations. Are my impressions not representative of UU at large? Or, if they are accurate, why are these conversations discouraged when there is potentially so much to gain from them?

I was looking up some UU congregations in my area with the finder on uua.org, and I notice that only some of them are indicated as LGBTQ Welcoming. What's up with that? I thought all UUs were LGBTQ-friendly.