photo credit: Jeff DaPuzzo

Waiting can be turned into spiritual practice. Waiting can be turned into a time for curiosity. Waiting can be turned into possibility.

How do you practice patience when there’s a long time to wait?

The Daily Compass offers words and images to inspire spiritual reflection and encourage the creation of a more loving, inclusive and just world. Produced by The Church of the Larger Fellowship, the Unitarian Universalist Congregation with no geographical boundary. Please support the publishing of The Daily Compass by making a $10 or $25 contribution (more if you can, less if you can't)! Thank you for your support!

“God is a river, not just a stone. God is a wild, raging rapids and a slow, meandering flow. God is a deep and narrow passage and a peaceful, sandy shoal. God is the river, swimmer, so let go.”
-Peter Mayer, “God is a River”

What do you need to let go of to be able to carried into new possibilities?

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“You can dream all the day, never reaching the end of everything possible for you.”
-Fred Small, “Everything Possible”

How do you turn dreams into possibilities? What do you need to make possible today?

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Samhain, or Halloween, marks the moment when, in the pagan tradition, the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is at its thinnest. It is a time to honor the dead, to celebrate their place among us, to revisit cherished memories and to pledge ourselves to carry forward their work in the world.

Who do you feel close to this Halloween?

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I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
― Edna St. Vincent Millay

Whose death are you not resigned to?

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Wouldn’t it be nice if our personal burdens could be labeled with a “heavy” sticker like boxes or items of luggage, giving those around us some notification on just what needs care in lifting?

What would you like to put a “heavy” sticker on?

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“No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.”
― Faraaz Kazi

How do you make space for grief?

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You are under no obligation to smile. You are also under no obligation not to smile. You are allowed to do whatever it is you want with your own face.

What expression is on your face right now?

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“For in grief nothing “stays put.” One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats.”
―C.S. Lewis

Over time, how (if at all) has grief shifted for you?

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Your little light is not enough to illuminate the whole world. It doesn’t need to be.

What tiny thing will you do today to bring brightness to your bit of the world?

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“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o’er wrought heart and bids it break.”
― William Shakespeare

How do you give words to your sorrow?

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When tragedy or terror strikes, hearts and bodies and relationships are broken. We knit our communities back together by public witness and public mourning, by coming together to honor what we have lost.

When have you been moved by public mourning?

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“Now something so sad has hold of us that the breath leaves and we can’t even cry.”
― Charles Bukowski

How do you open your heart to grief?

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On a misty day it can be hard to find your path—edges are softened, familiar landmarks disappear and what once seemed obvious becomes vague and ill-defined. Slow down. Go gently. Notice that there is a different kind of beauty.

What feels misty or unclear for you at the moment?

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“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope”
― Elizabeth Gilbert

Who has been able to offer you hope through their own experience of grief?

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When times are so tough all over, it can feel like any expression of joy is out of place, like we need to hide our successes and our delights so as to not hurt or offend those around us. But there’s a place for joy and laughter even in the hardest of times.

What joy or triumph would you like to share?

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“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott

How have you been changed by the experience of grief?

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When we are struggling inside it’s easy to imagine that everyone else is waltzing along with their pink umbrella, protected from the elements that threaten us. Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. Maybe they have space under the umbrella to share.

How do you make room for others under your umbrella?

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“Absence is a house so vast that inside you will pass through its walls and hang pictures on the air.”
― Pablo Neruda

What helps to fill the vast spaces left by absence?

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Times of stillness and reflection may not be as exciting or fun as action and adventure, but as seeds need time in the dark earth, people need times to be quiet and inward.

What have you learned from a period of stillness in your life?

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“Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand.”
― C.S. Lewis

How—if at all—does your religion help you to grapple with grief?

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When the going gets tough, the tough get cozy. Or at least the sensible do. A comfy blanket or a cozy bathrobe or a warm cup of tea won’t solve the world’s problems, but they help to get through the moment.

What small thing brings you comfort?

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“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.”
― Colette

What has surprised you into a powerful experience of grief?

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Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone who is grieving is to pass you the tissues—to let them cry without trying to fix or even console them. Just to give them what they need to catch their tears.

How has someone helped you when you were grieving?

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“We are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality even as we push it away, failed by our very complication, so wired that when we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. as we were. as we are no longer. as we will one day not be at all.”
― Joan Didion

What pushes you to consider your own mortality?

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OK, just coming to the end of your coffee can feel like a loss. But sometimes we, ourselves, are the empty cup. After a long period of stress we are prone to burn-out, to the feeling that we have nothing left to give.

What do you do to fill your cup?

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“You said move on, where do I go?”
― Katy Perry

In moving through grief, where has it been helpful to move toward?

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It’s hard to be in limbo—waiting for the next thing without knowing when it will arrive. Whether you’re waiting for a good thing, like when it will be safe to travel or hang out with loved ones, or whether you’re awaiting potentially bad news, as with a medical test, it’s never comfortable being in that place betwixt and between.

What are you waiting for?

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“The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we’d done were less real and important than they had been hours before.”
― John Green

Who do you miss for your shared memories?

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Some of us have a reputation as sunflowers—happy people who spread lightness and good cheer to those around us. Which is great, but even sunflowers sometimes droop.

How do you make space for sad times—for others and for yourself?

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“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”
― Leo Tolstoy

When have you found the courage to love in the face of grief?

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“We all need someone to lean on,” says the song, and it just might be true. Whether times are hard or not, it sure helps to have someone to lean on when you need a little support.

Who do you lean on?

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“Tears are a river that takes you somewhere…Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

What helps you to cry and release grief?

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Grief can feel like being hollowed out inside, made empty and insubstantial with the loss of what mattered so deeply. So much of who we are is made up of the people, places and things we love.

What are you grieving?

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You can’t be a cat or a dolphin or a llama. Those roles are already taken. But what’s to stop you from being a unicorn?

What about you that is different from the norm do you cherish?

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“If we are to love our neighbors, before doing anything else we must see our neighbors. With our imagination as well as our eyes, that is to say like artists, we must see not just their faces but the life behind and within their faces. Here it is love that is the frame we see them in.”
― Frederick Buechner

How have you used your imagination to connect with someone you didn’t know well?

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There is always room to grow. Whether there is enough water is often dicier.

What constrains your imagination?

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“A blank piece of paper is God’s way of telling us how hard it is to be God.”
― Sidney Sheldon

What helps to jump start your creative process?

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When the motorcycle that you are on is imaginary, you can go as fast as you can vroom.

How does your imagination take you past limits?

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“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.”
― Gloria Steinem

When has an imaginative leap led you to a whole new plan?

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If you have been sheltering in place for months now, you might well be feeling like the walls are starting to close in. We have lost a lot of freedoms. We have to stay within walls. But we can reimagine those walls in some more colorful, more creative form.

What new thing have you tried while sheltering in place?

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“My imagination will get me a passport to hell one day.”
― John Steinbeck

What is the worst place your imagination has led you?

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The story has it that Moses raised his staff and the red sea parted. But it turns out that generally speaking the ocean is pretty much impervious to command. We might pray for rain or for the hurricane to pass us by, but it turns out that we have far less power than we might imagine.

What do you try to command that is outside of your control?

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“I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart’s affections and the truth of the Imagination.”
― John Keats

What are you certain of?

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Even a skilled glass blower never knows for sure what might happen when sand and pigment and fire and breath and gravity come together to make art. The graceful vase must exist in the imagination of the artist before it can become real, but what becomes real won’t necessarily match the initial vision.

What have you created that turned out differently than you imagined?

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“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were, but without it we go nowhere.”
― Carl Sagan

Where has your imagination taken you?

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For Jews, Rosh Hashana marks the start of the new year not just for people but for all of creation—it is the birthday of the universe.

What wish would you make if you were blowing out candles on the universe’s birthday cake?

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“Imagination is the golden-eyed monster that never sleeps. It must be fed; it cannot be ignored.”
― Patricia A. McKillip

How do you feed your imagination?

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It used to be that Legos didn’t come in fancy kits to make pirate ships or space fighters. You got bricks of different sizes and colors, and you used your imagination to figure out what you wanted to build. Which was limited by the fact that you only had block shapes to work with.

What idea has presented you with a new shape to build your theology or ethics?

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“My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin

How does your imagination connect you to others? How does it distance you?

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Model ships, model trains, doll houses—there is something endearing about the real world made tiny, and placed under our complete control.

What do you wish would become small and manageable?

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“The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity… and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the [person] of imagination, nature is imagination itself.”
― William Blake

How does nature fuel your imagination?

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We know now that there is no Man in the Moon—nor any life there at all. But we still reach out in our imaginations—and our science—in search of signals that someone out there in the vastness of space will talk with us.

Who do you talk with only in your imagination?

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“Imagination does not become great until human beings, given the courage and the strength, use it to create.”
― Maria Montessori

What does your imagination lead you to create?

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The goal of painting is not to turn real life into something static. It is to create an interaction, a conversation, between the thing that was painted, the viewer and the imagination of the painter.

What painting sparks your imagination?

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We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay. I believe we have always done this, used images to stand and understand what otherwise would be intolerable.”
― Lynda Barry

What fantasy helps you to get by in the real world?

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Shells from a beach visit, an acorn or a stone from a forest hike, a hat with mouse ears from Disneyland, we gather mementos to remind us of where we have been, to hold the past in both memory and imagination.

What memento do you cherish?

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“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
― Terry Pratchett

When have the possibilities that you have imagined upset others?

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Lacking x-ray vision, mostly we don’t see beneath the surface to the armature inside, the bones of who we are. It takes imagination to get to what is under someone’s words—their needs and fears and dreams.

What helps you to listen beneath the surface?

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“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

Who or what have you unwisely pretended to be?

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Mr. Rogers offered a Land of Make Believe, a neighborhood to go visit where you could be with your friends, and conflicts were resolved by talking things through. Maybe such communities aren’t entirely imaginary.

How do you imagine the neighborhood that you would most like to belong to?

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“An idea is salvation by imagination”
― Frank Lloyd Wright

What idea has saved you?

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When you feel like you’re under water, drowning in the things that need to be done or circumstances beyond your control, imagination may be the only thing that gets you through.

What is a positive outcome that you can imagine for something that you are struggling with?

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“If something is there, you can only see it with your eyes open, but if it isn’t there, you can see it just as well with your eyes closed. That’s why imaginary things are often easier to see than real ones.”
― Norton Juster

What do you close your eyes to be able to envision?

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Stained glass windows bring color and light into churches that might otherwise be dim and grey stone edifices.

How do you see out color to lift your spirits?

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Lectio divina is a spiritual practice based in reading—spending time enough to go deep with a sacred text. But there are many other spiritual practices based in reading—or speaking or singing—words.

What is a spiritual practice involving words that is meaningful to you?

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The creation of a Tibetan Buddhist sand painting, or mandala, is painstaking, sacred work. And the destruction of that mandala is equally sacred work. It beautiful and requires a great deal of effort to create—and isn’t meant to last. Because that is how life is.

What practice helps you handle the transitory nature of all of life?

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What happens in our lives, and in the broader world that touches us, is held in our body. Stress accumulates in the neck, the back, the stomach, in systemic changes such as inflammation. We carry the world with us, sometimes in ways that are painful. Finding ways to constructively hold things in tension is always a challenge.

What tension are you currently experiencing?  What helps you to let it go?

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A Band-Aid solution is a small or temporary fix. But sometimes what you need is just a little bit of help to solve a problem or hold on until things get better.

What small gesture has made a big difference in your life?

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“I have said that the soul is not more than the body,
And I have said that the body is not more than the soul,
And nothing, not God, is greater to one than one’s-self is….”
―Walt Whitman

How do you touch your soul by means of your body?

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Under your skin a vast network of miracles is taking place. Without your giving it a thought, red blood cells deliver oxygen while white blood cells stand guard against invaders. Your gut transforms food into nutrition, your liver filters toxins, and at, the tiniest level, inside your cells mitochondria are hard at work powering the whole dazzling array. You’re amazing!

What about your body amazes and delights you?

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It would be foolish to go out into the wilderness without giving full attention to what you need to bring with you to stay safe and have a good time. We might be heading into the wilderness even if we never travel far from home.

What preparations can you make to stay safe and have a good time when the world gets challenging?

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Imagine if you could hear this picture. What sort of a low ringing sound would you get from pouring water over the bell of a large metal bowl? Can you hear it?

What sounds are so vivid to you that you can conjure them out of silence?

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“When you recognize the festive and the still moments as moments of prayer, then you gradually realize that to pray is to live.”
—Henri Nouwen

What festive or still moment has felt to you like prayer?

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Reality as we generally conceive of it is a world of land and air and gravity. But more of our planet is ocean than land, and many of our world’s beings only know floating in a world of water. It’s easy to assume that the world we know is the only “real” world, but our vision could be limited.

When have you been surprised to find the world was different than the way you had assumed it to be?

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High tech tools are far more efficient, and allow us to get more done, but low tech tools often give us a more physical sense of connection to the task at hand.

For what do you prefer a low tech option?

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Kids are generally fascinated by shadows—how the image of your own body can appear so similar to the real you, but also be so distorted by the angle of the sun.

How do you or those around you distort the image of your body?

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Mountains are there to be climbed, cliffs to be scaled…or not. Sometimes you look at a situation and say: “Nope. Not gonna go there.” Sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor.

What have you contemplated doing that you are happy to have not done?

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“The body is our general medium for having a world.”
―Maurice Merleau-Ponty

What is the most intensely physical way that you explore your world?

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Prayer is the most solitary of activities, arising from the quiet center of the heart. Prayer is also the most communal of activities, connecting us to that which binds all beings together.

How does prayer connect you with yourself? How does it connect you with something larger than yourself?

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It’s just a game, but a game is more fun if you give it your very best effort.

What you do throw your whole self into?

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“Dancing is creating a sculpture that is visible only for a moment.”
―Erol Ozan

What do you create only for the beauty of the moment?

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There is only here. There is only now. There is only this ball. Only. This. Ball.

What helps you to stay focused in the present moment?

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Do you remember that feeling of early summer, walking around barefoot for the first few times of the year? It was a lot more painful than later in the summer, when your feet had developed calluses, but you could feel everything beneath your feet.

In a world that is often difficult and painful, how do you maintain an uncallused heart?

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“Prayer does not change God, but it changes [the one] who prays.”
—Soren Kierkegaard

How have you been changed by prayer?

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An elaborate, gorgeous dwelling carved of snow is a thing of fantasy or dream. Which is probably a good thing, as it is unlikely to be a house you would want to live in long-term.

What do you prefer to admire from afar?

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“Games lubricate the body and mind.”
―Benjamin Franklin

What games do you like to play?

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Smell is our most primal sense, the one with the deepest connection to memory. Scents have the power to relax us, revolt us, energize or cheer us. The nose knows.

What scents do you actively seek out?

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When we fall ill, whether from a simple cold or from a serious or long-term illness, it can feel like our body has betrayed us. And that feeling of betrayal may stop us from offering our ailing bodies the full range of care that could contribute to our well-being.

What is the best care that you have given to your body in a time of illness?

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“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
―Anthony Bourdain

What do you do for purely physical enjoyment?

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All of our emotions—fear, joy, anger, excitement—every emotion is something we experience as physical sensation. Our body is far quicker to know what is going on with us than our mind is.

What message from your body have you learned to listen for?

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If snow is a rare occurrence for you, it is pretty much impossible to resist making snowballs with your bare hands. Yes, your hands will ache with cold for some time to come, but it will be worth it for the pleasure of throwing a snowball.

What activity is worth it to you, even if you have to pay for it later?

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“Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting.”
―Jack Kornfield

How do you relax your body?

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In a way it seems odd—runners pounding the pavement for miles, only to end up back where they started. But isn’t that the way of any journey? What matters is how you are changed by the going.

What small journey has changed you?

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Do you hold, somewhere in your body, the memory of a tire swing? The rubber under your feet or the uncomfortable seat inside, the swoosh of air in your face and the drop in your stomach? Our bodies are not just who we are, they are also all of who we have been.

What joy of childhood is held in your body’s memory?

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Listening to or playing music can lift us out of our mundane world and into a place where we are more free, more open to possibility, less attached to the problems of life that weigh us down.

How do you use music to change how you are experiencing the world?

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Well, sure, the cosmos is the universe, the biggest thing out there. It’s also a very pretty kind of flower. Sometimes you need to start by loving the world you can see and touch and smell before you go grand.

What small thing have you fallen in love with lately?

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The stones that make up this labyrinth are no more (nor less) sacred than all the other rocks scattered on the beach. And yet they have been touched with sacred intention, offered as a place of contemplation or prayer for those who might find them.

What have you made holy by your intention?

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“Poetry and prayer are very similar.” —Carol Ann Duffy

What poem is a prayer for you?

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