The Clearing, founded by Transforming Hearts Collective co-leaders, is an emerging spiritual community in Durham, NC, that centers the leadership and needs of queer and trans people of color and focuses on self-love, self-healing, and community healing as radical and revolutionary acts. The Clearing is for people who don’t want or need organized religion but are yearning for community and connection, as well as people who love worship and spiritual community but haven’t felt at home in church for a long time.

In April 2016 the Clearing showed up in love for our communities when opening session began at the North Carolina General Assembly. We knew it would be a big day for trans and queer communities and organizers because it was the first major HB2 repeal effort since the special session that led to the passage of the bill. We also knew that we wanted to create a different kind of space for folks—one that would enable people to get away from the overly politicized, intensely divisive spaces that are often at the heart of protests.

We showed up with quilts and rugs, coloring books, and communion, and got a commitment from Believe Out Loud to supply us with snacks and fruit. We set up on the front lawn right in front of the legislative building, set apart from everything that was going on and in the midst of it, all at the same time, and waited. 

Slowly but surely, people began to come. Many folks requested communion and a prayer before going to speak with legislators. Some folks wanted rest. Others wanted to color and talk with friends. We had community singing and a call-and-response moment of commitment and affirmation. People came to get a snack or some water. We had printed up many copies of a collection of inspiring and affirming quotes, and so some people stopped by to take a quote to keep with them because they knew they weren't going to leave when asked and would likely get arrested. One of the local organizers stopped by simply for a hug and a time to be quiet after a proponent of HB2 yelled at her that her mother should have aborted her. The Clearing was so much more than we could have ever anticipated that day, and it gave us the fire we needed to commit to moving it forward.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108071054/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1509118004533-T9H90E81DHZ3H4W0PKJT/Clearing.jpg?content-type=image%2Fjpeg

Last week Transforming Hearts Collective co-leader Teo Drake served as one of four leaders of a powerful four-day training on mindfulness, compassion, and social justice, organized by the organization Off the Mat, Into the World.

The training was intended for yoga practitioners who wanted an intensive exploration of effective social justice activism grounded in compassionate practice. Each day of the training featured a mix of practice, teaching, exercises, small group work, individual reflection, and integration of all of these elements. Mindfulness meditation and daily yoga practice created a foundation for participants to open their hearts to the pain of injustice, heal themselves and their communities from the trauma of oppression, and foster the resilience they need to stay in the struggle over a lifetime.

Over fifty participants dug into the impacts of injustice and inequity and grew their skills in being agents of social change, supported by embodied practice. Those who were new to social justice work gained an understanding of systems and historical context for our current political moment, as well as learning how yoga and meditation practices can support their ongoing engagement. Participants with marginalized identities and/or those who have been in the struggle a long time were able to have space to be together, share wisdom across identities, build solidarity, care for their bodies and spirits, and gain hope from being in community.

In the current political moment, it is more important than ever to help each other stay present, be able to sit with discomfort, and meet this moment of increasing awareness of oppression—particularly racism—without becoming too overwhelmed, shying away from culpability, or shutting down. Embodied spiritual practice is one key way to meet these goals.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108072812/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1522598410188-UPOHKCDGLZO1WFP56SVU/off-the-mat-still.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

At the annual Creating Change conference hosted by the National LGBTQ Task Force this January, attendees were able to access care and spiritual practice in two brand new ways. Along with other LGBTQ faith leaders, co-leaders of the Transforming Hearts Collective spearheaded the creation of a Spiritual Care Team and a dedicated spirituality room, the Many Paths Gathering Space.

The Spiritual Care Team is a thirty-person multi-faith, multi-racial, multi-gender, multi-generational volunteer team of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, two spirit, and queer faith leaders who were "on call" throughout the conference to provide care and support to attendees in many different ways. The team also led a variety of spiritual practices in the Many Paths Gathering Space that were open to all: offerings ranged from Muslim prayer to meditation to queer-inclusive Christian prayer to Earth-centering ritual to Catholic Mass.

A highlight of the conference was an interfaith ritual held during the inauguration on January 21, where more than forty people from more than fifteen different spiritual paths had space to grieve, heal, hope, and sing together in community.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108073258/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1509119968945-8NY7QQ7Q9NOU3L9QILLQ/IMG_3002.jpg?content-type=image%2Fjpeg

The Transforming Hearts Collective is proud to have collaborated with the Religious Institute in creating and resourcing the National Weekend of Prayer for Transgender Justice, March 24-26, 2017. The weekend of prayer was originally envisioned as a way for people of faith to lend support to Gavin Grimm and his court case against a Virginia county school board for not allowing him to use the boy's bathroom in his high school, which the Supreme Court was planning to hear in late March.

When the Court decided it would no longer hear the case—in response to the executive branch's decision to remove Title IX guidance clarifying protection for transgender students—it became clear that a weekend of prayer was needed even more than before. Day in and day out, the suffering of transgender people, particularly those who are women and femmes, people of color, youth, elders, disabled, and undocumented, goes unnoticed by the mainstream.

So we broadened the focus of the weekend and helped create resources for faith communities to understand the moral imperative of transgender justice, practice guiding principles around working for transgender justice, engage in religious education related to transgender justice, and commit to next steps as faith communities to foster transgender justice both within and outside their congregational walls. Close to thirty different LGBTQ and religious organizations signed on as co-sponsors.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108075612/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1509131323307-BITO91ZVZDN9JUQIQTL3/static1.squarespace.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

The Clearing is growing! In the past year, this emerging spiritual community centering the voices, experiences, and liberation of queer and trans people of color and open to all, has been deepening its work in Durham, NC.

Transforming Hearts Collective co-leaders LeLaina Romero and Rev. Mykal Slack, along with a group of close friends and chosen family in Durham, connected around a common vision for spiritual community that none of them had found in the area, but were longing for. We co-created spaces for rest, renewal, and uplift in the midst of HB2 repeal efforts, facilitated honest and pain-filled dialogue in the aftermath of the 2016 presidential election, and held visioning sessions to lay the groundwork for a series of community conversations to help identify leaders and continue to cultivate and curate what this new spiritual adventure can and should be.

The first two community conversations took place this spring—the first at the LGBTQ Resource Center at North Carolina Central University and the second at the LGBTQ Center of Durham—to explore people’s hopes for spiritual community. More than thirty people participated—people of color, queer folks, and trans/non-binary folks, ranging in age from 9 months old to 60+. Our time together was filled with the sounds and feels of babies playing and elders sharing; bread being cut, salads getting dressed, soup heating up; gratitude for the openness and the willingness to share what’s real, what’s hard, and what’s good, among new friends.

We learned that, for folks to show up fully, they wanted a multigenerational, nonjudgmental space to share meals and music, be outdoors together, hear cool sermons, learn from sacred texts, and make art. We also learned that, because of past pain in spiritual spaces, understanding how to show up as an anti-oppressive, multi-faith, multi-vocal space will take time and intention.

We visioned and dreamed together, and made a plan for sharing monthly dinners, finding the joy and release of dance and moving our bodies, embracing the power of ritual, and reclaiming public space out in the world, as well as building an evolving team of visionaries and organizers that will continue to breathe life and love and meaning into this community. And we continue to dream about engaging trans/non-binary communities in altar-building in places where we gather and connecting with local artists and musicians about creating art spaces and dance parties as places for healing. Ashe!

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108093914/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1530829063244-04L506AEJ78EOQP50OC8/Clearing+doodle+cropped.jpg?content-type=image%2Fjpeg

The Transforming Hearts Collective is thrilled to announce the beginning of plans to launch a pilot program for congregations that want to take their “welcome” to the next level—with the support of a grant from the Unitarian Universalist Funding Program!

Growing out of a call to support congregations in becoming places where queer and trans people of all races/ethnicities, abilities, classes, and ages can fully get their spiritual needs met and bring their gifts forward, we are working to create a pilot program that will help faith communities transform their congregational culture around “welcome,” difference, the purpose of spiritual community, marginalized experiences (particularly sexuality, gender, race/ethnicity, class, and ability), and social justice. We plan to create a program that is:

1. Intersectional. 
   No faith community can claim to be LGBTQ-welcoming if that welcome only extends to LGBTQ people of particular races, classes, abilities, and ages. Rather than treating different aspects of identity and experience separately, we plan to create a program that fully integrates sexuality, gender, race/ethnicity, ability, class, age, and more, and is grounded in the experiences and needs of people who have multiple marginalized identities.
    
2. Heart-centered.
   We believe that in order for transformation to happen, we need to reach people’s hearts, not just their minds. A lot of LGBTQ inclusion work focuses on intellectual understandings of what it means to be trans, or what the experiences of gay people are, rather than deeply engaging on a heart level with how oppression keeps us all from being our full authentic selves when it comes to gender and sexuality. We plan to create a program that centers compassion, care, and love.
    
3. Spiritually grounded.
   Practicing radical welcome is a way of practicing Beloved Community. There are deep, spiritual roots to our call to engage with difference differently. We plan to create a program that grounds participants in their faith and gives them concrete tools and spiritual practices for the work of welcome.
    
4. Up-to-date with respect to LGBTQ identity.
   Language and understandings around gender, sexuality, relationships, and families have been shifting and evolving at breathtaking speeds, and many faith communities are decades behind. We plan to create a program that pushes participants to engage with modern understandings of gender and sexuality and stays perpetually up-to-date rather than becoming quickly obsolete.
    
5. Flexible and custom-fit.
   One of the key flaws of curriculum-based programs for faith communities is that they don’t work the same way in congregations of varying sizes, resources, demographics, and geographic locations. We plan to create a program that allows each congregation that engages with it to have a custom-fit experience.
    
6. Transformational.
   Transformation requires much more than a curriculum, which is why we plan to create a program that engages a congregation’s full membership and leadership, as well as engaging every area of congregational life, including worship, religious education, social justice, and more. We also plan to create a program that establishes practices for continued growth in this area, rather than a “one-and-done” approach.

We plan to utilize a grounded and accountable method of creating this program, starting with creating an advisory committee of people representing a diversity of sexualities, genders, races, classes, abilities, ages, congregational experience, leadership roles, etc., then working as a collective to create a pilot program, identifying initial congregations to participate in the pilot, and working closely with those congregations to improve the program before launching it in full.

Ultimately our goal is to help faith communities transform and live into their full potential as places of radical inclusion and forces for justice in the world. We can’t wait to share more as this program develops!

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108113229/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1531162939054-JQZ4CCPUW2HR9AVD9BR4/radical+welcome+bird.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

Last week Transforming Hearts Collective co-leader Teo Drake delivered a keynote address at the annual South Carolina HIV, STD and Viral Hepatitis Conference, held October 25–26 in Columbia, South Carolina. The theme of this year’s conference was “Thriving Together for Tomorrow.”

Teo’s keynote was titled “We Can’t Thrive If We Don’t Survive: Addressing Disparities in Access to Care for Transgender People,” and covered the current landscape faced by transgender people living with HIV, the particular barriers that HIV-positive trans people face in accessing competent care, the strengths and resilience that trans people bring forward to get their needs met, and the ways in which race, class, ability, sexuality, and gender intersect within HIV-positive trans communities and how these intersections affect disparities, access, and health outcomes.

Teo also teamed up with fellow Positively Trans National Advisory Board member Kiara St. James to deliver two workshops: “Transgender 101” and “Fighting for Survival: The Call to Center the Needs and Expertise of Transgender Women of Color.”

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108152925/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1533065166545-TZ4854KF34UKB3CDOV9L/Thriving+Together.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

Last month Transforming Hearts Collective co-leader Rev. Mykal Slack joined with other trans spiritual leaders and clergy during the weekend leading up to the International Transgender Day of Remembrance to organize and offer "TRANS-forming Proclamation," an inaugural trans-led, trans-voiced, trans-envisioned revival of renewal and resistance hosted by Peace United Church of Christ in Hickory, North Carolina.

For the first time, trans clergy from across North Carolina came together to offer words of celebration, encouragement, hope, healing, and call to community-building to the whole of our communities of faith—trans people of faith, LGBTQIA people of faith, and allies and accomplices in the hope-filled work for unity, common ground, and healing the breeches for deeper connection in the work ahead. The group put together three evenings of worship that included music, responsive readings, and preaching, followed by community-building and dessert, culminating with words of remembrance, resistance, and hope on Trans Day of Remembrance, Monday November 20th.

It was a powerful moment in our lives as trans clergy and in the lives of trans folks who came from all over the state to be with us. Over the course of the three nights, there were close to sixty people in attendance altogether. It was such a rich and inspiring time that we are planning to move beyond the context of Trans Day of Remembrance and into having two to four town hall meetings in 2018 to engage in some real talk about what we all need to get free in North Carolina and around the country.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108163915/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1531164644638-FHX5R1ANJPTPFYZST176/Trans-forming+Proclamation+graphic.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

Fittingly, the Clearing’s first collectively-planned service/ritual was a powerful Winter Solstice ritual and gathering, held at The Vault, a black-owned community event space that showcases the art and culture of Durham and is particularly supportive of local organizing efforts among queer and trans people of color. It was a beautiful and heart-opening moment for the community!

The Clearing’s core team, a group of leaders that grew out of the Clearing’s initial community conversations, planned and held the ritual and gathering on Thursday, December 21. Close to fifty people came together to celebrate the longest night of the year and the power and brilliance of darkness—and, afterwards, a delicious meal.

Folks were invited to bring an object for the altar that represented something sacred to them, something they wanted to honor about the solstice, and/or someone they wanted to bring into the space. We shared reflections and poetry primarily from Black and Brown people. We offered time and space for folks to reflect on what they needed to let go of and put in the earth, as well as what they were invested in holding onto to give them what they needed for the new season. And then we shared a wonderful meal. It was magic, not just because it was a really meaningful moment for folks, but because it helped set the tone for more opportunities to gather in worship together in the future.

The Clearing has evolved into a space that encourages folks to show up, be present, share their struggles, successes, challenges, and desires in a safe, supportive environment. We are cultivating and co-creating loving and sustainable spiritual spaces that are anti-racist, anti-capitalist, queer, womanist, feminist, and de-colonized, offering all the folks coming together to move the Clearing from dream to reality something we didn’t anticipate—a chance to make the impossible possible!

Currently, as we share monthly dinners, co-create spaces for ritual, celebration, and healing, and build an evolving team of visionaries and organizers that will continue to breathe life and love and meaning into this community, we are also building beautiful relationships in the community. The Durham Co-op Market, that provides our monthly meals, the LGBTQ Center of Durham, the Vault, and the Radical Healing Collective are all community gathering spaces where queer/trans POC folks have deep roots. We’re excited to keep building and growing and healing together.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211108175536/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1530830619275-4TZOQD1I0M9NH9XM2YY8/The+Clearing+solstice+altar.jpg?content-type=image%2Fjpeg

The Transforming Hearts Collective is excited to announce our first online course: "Transgender Inclusion in Congregations," taught by trans faith leaders Rev. Mykal Slack and Zr. Alex Kapitan.

This course asks the question: what does it really take to create faith communities where people of all gender identities can get our spiritual needs met and bring our gifts forward? When it comes to trans communities, "welcome" requires more than an open door or a rainbow flag. This course is for individuals, groups, and congregational teams who are serious about dismantling gender-based oppression and want to explore the personal and collective transformation that we are called to engage in as people of faith. 

Over six sessions, participants deeply explore the intersections of trans identity, spirituality, and faith community, and gain the grounding, context, and skills to transform themselves and their congregation. Each session includes a 45- to 60-minute pre-recorded lecture, reflection questions, and resources that take the conversation deeper. In addition, Mykal and Alex will be holding regular live video chats for all current and past course participants.

The course is for everyone from novices on trans identity to those with decades of life experience. Rather than offering a “trans 101,” this class pushes participants to the next level of congregational welcome, relationship-building, and skills-building. Congregational teams are particularly encouraged to sign up. 

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211109004804/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1533079401003-HFAW7K5U5CL5M5C5FI4E/Trans+Inclusion+in+Congregations+pic.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

Have you ever attended a Unitarian Universalist congregation because you heard or hoped it would be welcoming to people like you, and then had a profoundly unwelcoming experience? Us too. Do you want to be in conversation with others like us about what real, radical welcome requires?

Let’s talk. The Transforming Hearts Collective is working on a pilot program for congregations that truly want to transform their culture into one where queer, trans, black and brown, disabled, poor and working class, and otherwise marginalized folks aren’t just welcome but are centered. Where no one has to leave any piece of themselves at the door. Where the goal isn’t inclusion, it's liberation.

We want to have soul-deep conversations with others who have struggled to feel welcome/belonging in UU spaces about where congregations fall short in their welcome of people who fall outside of what’s considered the normative UU experience (white, cis, moneyed, etc.) and what a radical vision of Unitarian Universalist community looks like to those of us on the margins. Join us! RSVP here.

Details

Each conversation will be 2-3 hours long and there are four different date/time options (one is for people of color only; the others are open to all):

• Monday September 17, 8pm Eastern / 5pm Pacific

• Saturday October 6, 11am Eastern / 8am Pacific

• Monday October 22, 8pm Eastern / 5pm Pacific (PEOPLE OF COLOR ONLY)

• Friday November 16, 3pm Eastern / noon Pacific

On each video call we’ll spend time getting to know one another, talk about our experiences of how “welcome” has failed us, discuss together what real, radical welcome would be like for us, and also talk about what we need in order to heal from our unwelcoming experiences.

Participants will join the Transforming Hearts Collective learning community and get free access to all current and future Collective webinars and courses for a year.

Facilitators

Rev. Mykal Slack has been working in congregations and other faith settings for more than a decade, helping to develop anti-racist, anti-oppressive, and LGBTQ-affirming frameworks for church life and to foster community life practices that embody radical welcome and connection. Mykal serves as the Community Minister for Worship & Spiritual Care for Black Lives of Unitarian Universalism (BLUU) and is on the visioning team for the Clearing, an emerging POC, queer, and trans-centered spiritual community. He lives in Durham, NC.

Zr. Alex Kapitan is a trainer, speaker, consultant, editor, and anti-oppression activist and lifelong Unitarian Universalist who grounds radical social justice work in a place of faith and love. Alex worked for eight years at the national headquarters of the Unitarian Universalist Association, supporting anti-racism and Welcoming Congregation programming and large-scale social justice organizing efforts, and is currently on the steering committee for TRUUsT, an organization of trans UU religious professionals. Alex lives in Greenfield, MA.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211109014447/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1537291373897-DNYSV4PJ08DWOJJAJ2XU/When+Welcome+Fails+pic+rev.png?format=1500w&content-type=image%2Fpng

Last year the Transforming Hearts Collective was excited to announce the beginnings of plans to create a pilot program for congregations that want to take their “welcome” to the next level. We are thrilled to share that these plans are progressing and, because it matters that this work be engaged in an accountable way and not in isolation, we are now supported by an Advisory Team that will be lending their expertise, gifts, and perspectives to this effort!

Minister Candace Simpson is a sister, preacher and educator. It is Candace's philosophy that Heaven is a Revolution that can happen right here on Earth.

Rev. Theresa I. Soto is a Unitarian Universalist minister and liberation worker. They live in Ashland, Oregon, and aspire to building new futures of unprecedented equity. They like kale and gummi bears, but probably not together. They strongly dislike mayonnaise from jars.

I’m Rev. Dr. Marni Harmony. I’m now retired after 40 years in Unitarian Universalist ministry, which was mostly parish ministry but I have also served as a hospital chaplain and then a couple of interim ministry positions after my last settled ministry.

I'm Kim Sweeney, queer mother of two teenagers with a background in education, faith formation, and organizational change. I live in western Massachusetts and I'm excited to work with this rockstar group of people.

I’m Dani Henri and I live in Portland, Oregon. I am a musician and songwriter. I am also a disabled trans gay man. I also do work at the intersection of queerness, sex, and disability. I work in retail and social media in the adult industry. Samples of my work on queerness and disability can be found here.

Rev. Dr. Jonipher Kwong is a gay cis-male in his 40s living the LA life after a stint in Honolulu and currently serves the UUA as Congregational Life Staff in the Pacific Western Region. Originally ordained with the Metropolitan Community Church, he’s done parish, community, and now institutional ministry. Here’s his website if you want to know more!

Building on the successes and failures of the UUA’s Welcoming Congregation Program, which three-quarters of Unitarian Universalist congregations have used over the last 28 years to expand their understanding and welcome of LGBTQ people and which became a model for similar programs in other denominations, our goal is to create a program that will help faith communities truly take things to the next level (within and beyond Unitarian Universalism).

We want to help congregations believe in the possibility of transforming their culture around “welcome,” difference, the purpose of spiritual community, marginalized experiences (particularly sexuality, gender, race/ethnicity, class, and ability), and social justice. We plan to create a program that is intersectional, heart-centered, spiritually grounded, up-to-date with respect to LGBTQ identity, flexible and custom-fit, and transformational.

If you’re interested in staying tuned in about our progress, sign up to stay in touch below, in the footer of the website. And if your congregation is dedicated to transformation and interested in being a part of the pilot program, please contact us!

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211109021258/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1537801076526-8JF0IGGZMR32KL3M4BKW/Advisory+team+pic.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

In March 2016, the Transforming Hearts Collective partnered with the Religious Institute for a National Weekend of Prayer for Transgender Justice. To kick things off, we wrote a prayer and reached out to some of our fellow trans faith leaders from many spiritual traditions to offer prayers from their traditions. We share them here in love and gratitude.

GENERAL PRAYER

Offered by the Transforming Hearts Collective

Spirit of life and love that resides within and among us, we enter this moment with all that we are, with an open heart, and with a love for justice.

We hold in love and prayer all transgender people, so many of whom live under the weight of violence, fear, and intolerance. We hold in love and prayer all the ways that transgender people have survived and thrived in a hostile world. We hold in love and prayer all who recognize the significance of gender justice for all people.

We who believe in freedom will not rest until it comes. We pray for the dawn of a new day when the very humanity of trans people is no longer called into question or ignored. We pray that physical, emotional, and spiritual violence will come to an end. We pray that a spirit of compassion and care will fill us to overflowing, that we may have the capacity to listen, learn, and grow not only in our awareness but also in our willingness to act. We pray for teachers, spiritual leaders, social workers, lawyers, and all people who heed the call to support trans liberation, trans leadership, and trans visibility. May they ultimately lean into the Light of truth and justice, offering hope to Trans and gender nonconforming youth and adults.

On this day, we commit and recommit to creating a world where people of all genders know peace, love, and justice. We commit and recommit to living lives of compassion and care for all of humanity. We commit and recommit to the healing work of relationship-building that will help every person know, no matter their gender or sexuality, that they are loved and valued.

BUDDHIST/ANCESTRY PRAYER

Offered by Fresh! White, Minister of Love, mindfulness practitioner, student of Buddhist philosophy and spirituality

Dear Ancestor Spirits: Please hear our prayer.

Remind us to breathe deep in each moment, touching our lives from within, as we honor you there.

Remind us to reach back to you who were here long before we began counting time, or needing labels to describe ourselves as human beings.

You goddesses, warriors, and kings; healers, priests, shamans, two-spirit; family and friends; share with us your wisdom, that we may know the power of community, and understand we are already ONE, we need only self-love and compassion so that we can truly let each other in!

Dear Spirit/Creator/Higher Power/Goddess/God/Universe/Mother Earth…You who are calling us forward: Remind us that we are deserving and there is enough! Enough space in this world, in the hearts of this world, and in our communities, for All of Us to be, do, and have All our heart’s “true” desires: To be safe, Loved and happy as our authentic spiritual selves!

Dear Spirits, Collectively: We call on All of you at this time, to come and breathe with and through us, as we walk our paths towards equity and freedom. Remind us that each breath is not just for this moment (the most important one), it’s also for our future! With you, we remember that no matter where we are, when we can be truly present, we can and do create our future.

We give thanks to you Dear Spirits for bringing us this far; for calling forth our authenticity so that we can be free to clear the hurdles in our paths for our own taking, and also for our youth, and seniors, those of us at higher risk of inner and outer harm, the lonely. With your guidance, we can work together to create a more just and equitable; safe, strong and healthy life experience for those within, and beyond the transgender spectrum; for all beings.

In remembrance of our sisters, brothers and others lost to violence in all forms, Please Hear Our Prayers! Ashe! Aho! Amen! Blessed Be!

CHRISTIAN PRAYER

Offered by Rev. Debra J. Hopkins, Black trans woman, minister at Sacred Souls Community Church, Charlotte, NC

Loving Creator, Let the rain come and wash away the ancient grudges, the bitter hatreds held and nurtured over generations. Let the rain wash away the memory of the heart, and neglect. Then Oh God, let the sun come out and fill the sky with beautiful rainbows.

Let the warmth of the Sun heal us wherever we are broken. Let It burn away the fog so that each of us sees each other clearly. So that we can move beyond labels, beyond accents, gender, sexual orientation, or skin color. Let the warmth and brightness of the sun melt our selfishness. So that we can share the joy and sorrow of our neighbors. And let the light of the sun be so strong that we will see all people as our neighbors.

Let the Earth, nourished by rain, bring forth flowers to surround us with your beauty, and let the mountains teach our hearts to reach upward to heaven. Then, Dear God, grant us comfort, give us peace, and allow us strength to enable us to Stand up, Fight for, and be a Voice for Equality. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

JEWISH PRAYER 

Offered by Rabbi Emily Aviva Kapor-Mater, radical transfeminist rabbi, author, and activist, Seattle, WA

אלהינו ואלהי אבותינו ואמותינו, ברך את קהילתינו הטרנס הקדושה, את כל עדת הטרנס, ואת כל העוברים על גבולי החיים. תן לנו חיים ושמחה מאת אוצר ברכותך, ופרוש עלינו סוכת שלומך. יהי בכוחינו לברוא ולהתברא, ליצור ולהתיצר, ולקיים רצונך לאהוב את הבריאות ולרדוף את השלום. למדנו אמת וצדק, כי אתה הוא מגן לכל הדכופים. שלח הצלה וצדקה לכל עדתינו, ויהי חסדך עמנו כאשר היה עם אבותינו ואמותינו. ברוך אתה, האל העושה צדקה ושלום לכל העוברים על גבולי החיים.

Our God and God of our ancestors, we ask your blessing upon our community, the holy assembly of all transgender people, and upon all who cross over the boundaries of life. Grant us life and happiness from your abundance of blessings, and spread over us the shelter of Your peace. Grant us the strength to create and to be created, to form and to be formed, and to fulfill Your will to love all creation and to pursue peace. Teach us truth and justice, for You are a shield for all the oppressed. Send relief and righteousness to all our community, and may Your goodness be with us as it was with our ancestors. Blessed are You, God who makes justice and peace for all who cross over the boundaries of life.

MUSLIM PRAYER

Offered by Qasima Wideman, Queer Black Muslim, Durham, NC

In the name of Allah, the Lover, the Gentle, the Kind, grant us in our souls a temple, a shrine, a mosque, a church, where we may kneel before an altar where no walls and no names exist. Unite our hearts together and guide us out of darkness into freedom and light. Grant us the power of our ancestors who protected one another from oppression, and who helped one another to stand in your light. Anoint us with patience, strengthen our footsteps and grant us victory over those who reject us. Break our kindred in prisons free of their shackles and reunite our families. Cleanse and heal the souls of our fallen trans kindred with water, ice and snow; and expand their entry into your Garden. Open a path for us to freedom that leaves no one behind.

NATIVE TRADITIONALIST PRAYER

Offered by Pastor Lynn Young, Two Spirit of Lakota heritage, Seminarian at Chicago Theological Seminary

Great Mystery, We lift up our prayers in the ancient ways of our people. Lead us to the path of wisdom and understanding; let all of us live together in sacred kinship.

We hold in love and sacredness all transgender people as sacred children of your creation, who all too often live in fear under the weight of violence and close-mindedness. We hold in love and prayer all of the ways in which transgender people have survived and thrived in this world designed by you for peace, but that exists now in hostility. We hold in love and prayer all who have ever felt the crushing weight of oppression, the invisibility of disregard, or the searing pain that results from denials of their very humanity.

We pray for trans people everywhere, your sacred children. Remind them, and remind us all, that when we gaze at our reflection in a still pond or a mirror’s surface a manifestation of your divine spirit gazes back at us. We pray that the energy of the four winds, and the power of our ancestors bring the spirit of wisdom and compassion to leaders, advocates, and trans people.

As we walk the path of sacredness each day, guide our feet to what is good, wise, and right; help us walk in a good way. May we all be agents of wisdom and compassion, offering hope to trans and gender nonconforming youth that is too often hard to come by.

Great Spirit, fill us with light, warm us with your teachings. Help us to walk the soft Earth with clear sight, as loving relatives to all creation. Aho.

UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST PRAYER

Offered by Rev. Theresa I. Soto, non-binary queer Latinx Unitarian Universalist minister

Spirit of Life, In these difficult times, we ask for connection, to You, to ourselves, to one another, and to our greater purpose. We turn toward you, like a swift breeze, able to bring refreshment and life to our hearts that are burdened. We know that you know that transness is life and that You accept us and all the ways that we are, not as part of being human but as a multiplicity of expressions of love.

We call on you for strength, as the way before is long, and we have so far to travel. We travel toward Justice. Keep us focused on that. And to make that journey, we need safety and courage in equal measure. Give us both.

Soften the hearts of those who are causing their own suffering by clutching their transphobia so tightly. Show them the way back to their own humanity.

But above all, we ask for more love, around us, among us, between us. We give thanks and say amen.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211109035408/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1540304634361-XPA2OXMUJ8KLMKE7X66H/prayers+for+trans+justice.jpg?format=1500w&content-type=image%2Fjpeg

Download this page as a printable flyer

This week the UU World published an article that was harmful to trans people people in the Unitarian Universalist movement. Many cisgender (non-trans) UUs are wondering how to best understand and support non-binary folks, trans men and women, intersex people, and others most affected by the article when they talk about it with other cis people. Here are some tips.

Key Practices

• Believe trans people

• Listen more than you talk

• Be willing to remain in discomfort

• Have hard conversations, with love

• Value relationships over perfectionism

• Don’t expect every trans person to want to educate you, but honor those who do

• Stay in your heart rather than your head

• Don’t ask a trans person anything you wouldn’t ask a cis person

• Comfort those who are hurting and build awareness with other cis people

• Uplift trans voices

1. Impact matters.

The author and editor of this article had good intentions. Yet the impact was that trans people in our movement have been harmed. That impact needs to be the focus. If your toilet breaks and your neighbor wants to help but isn’t a plumber and, in trying to fix the toilet, floods your apartment and causes massive damage, having other people focus on that person’s good intentions would be awful when everything you own is ruined.

2. You don’t have to personally understand the harm or feel harmed yourself to recognize that harm happened.

Many cis people don’t immediately understand why trans people are so hurt by this article. That’s okay. The most important starting place is to, in the words of UU lay leader Barb Seidl, “start with that it’s true,” even if you don’t completely understand it.  

3. The article contained false and harmful information.

A lot of cis people feel that the article is informative. Unfortunately, the author was not knowledgeable about the subject and thus shared information that was misleading, incorrect, or otherwise problematic. As just a few examples (see CB Beal’s piece for more):

• The title gives the impression that trans people are an afterthought; that lesbian, gay, and bisexual people existed first or are more important; that many trans people aren’t also lesbian, gay, and bisexual in addition to being trans; and that UUism has completed its learning/welcome of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people (and thus can now “move on” to trans people).

• The author presents as an unchallenged fact her belief that hormones and surgery are “central” to who a person is and that it is impossible for her to get to know someone without knowing this extremely private information—even if she already knows a person’s identity is “woman” and the person goes by “she” and “her.”

• The trans history that the author presents is factually inaccurate. As one example, the word transgender did not replace the words transsexual, transvestite, and cross-dresser—it was invented to speak to something different and transsexuals and cross-dressers still exist. As another, the quip that the trans movement has moved from “passing” to “pride” invents a linear progression that simply does not exist and flattens the lived experiences of untold trans people from every age and era.

• The author conflates trans people and intersex people, talking about the incidence of trans people and the incidence of ambiguous genitalia in the same breath, and also mentions nonconsensual surgeries for intersex people multiple times without condemning this violent practice.

• The author communicates that people of color is a preferable term to black or African American, when each of these refers to different overlapping groups of people, and also that differently abled is preferable to disabled, when in fact the vast majority of disabled people and groups despise the former term.

4. Trans people aren’t just being harmed in the act of reading the article, they are being harmed by cis people’s reactions to it.

There are myriad ways trans people are experiencing harm because of the article. As CB Beal eloquently spoke to, the article’s author modeled asking trans people harmful and violent questions, so many cis people now feel emboldened to do the same and are cornering trans people at church to do so (this started immediately last Sunday). Trans UUs of all ages everywhere are now the subject of debate, subjected to cis people’s opinions about the piece, and burdened with the expectation of educating cis people (for free) about their very existence. We are currently in the final weeks of the search process, when all congregations seeking a new minister are interviewing candidates; fully 10% of the ministers in the search pool right now are trans. How many congregations will decide they “just aren’t ready” for a trans minister because of the reception of this article?

5. This is not an example of incremental progress.

There was no reason to publish an article that got so much wrong and caused so much pain to trans people. A lot of cis people are saying things like “At least it started a conversation” and “It’s better than nothing.” But in fact, no article at all would have been better than such a harmful article. As people of faith, it is unacceptable to say that the collateral damage to trans people caused by this article was somehow worth it, when that damage was completely avoidable. Furthermore, misinformation lodges deep. If the intention is to meaningfully work toward a world where trans people are fully free and honored, then accurate, respectful information is the bare minimum and is vital for people who are newly learning about trans identities; therefore, the article compromised this progress. 

6. The article centered a cisgender perspective.

“Centering” is a concept that speaks to whose worldview is most affirmed and whose voices are loudest; whose perspective is treated as “normal,” and thus at the center, and whose perspective is treated as “different,” and thus at the margins. In this case, the assumption is that the “default” reader is a cis person who struggles to understand and interact respectfully with trans people, just like the author. This assumption renders trans people invisible or further pushed to the margins. It’s not that cis people can’t ever talk or write about trans people, it’s about how they do so—and whether they are adding to and uplifting a conversation started by trans people or displacing the voices and agency of trans people.

7. The article’s publication was based on an assumption that cis people’s perspectives on trans people are more valuable than trans people’s perspectives on ourselves.

There are dozens, if not hundreds, of trans UU leaders, writers, poets, and prophets who could have written an incredible feature article about trans lives, spiritualities, struggles within UUism, and more. It could have been a conversational piece co-written by a trans person and a loved one, such as the person’s parent, partner, or child. It could have been a series of profiles of trans UUs that showcased the diversity and brilliance among us. There is nothing this article did that couldn’t have been done better by a trans author in a way that did not cause harm to trans people.

8. Kimberly and Chris are neither evil nor are they being expected to be perfect.

Kimberly French (author) and Chris Walton (editor) caused a great deal of harm. But making them villains is a sleight of hand that keeps us from looking at the institutional systems involved and our own human failings and prejudices and the ways we too (depending on our identities and social location) stumble regularly. On the flip side, dismissing the anger and hurt of trans UUs by saying that Kimberly and Chris should be “given a chance” and “shouldn’t be expected to be perfect” is unacceptable. Perfection is neither an expectation nor a helpful goal. The expectation is that they are in relationship with and heed the counsel and expertise of trans UU leaders, in order to avoid causing such harm.

9. This article is not an isolated incident.

The UU World has arguably just as much impact on the direction of the denomination as General Assembly; every registered member of a UU congregation gets a print subscription to this magazine. It is immensely well-respected and often offers forward-thinking and leading-edge pieces that help all of us grow, spiritually. Yet the magazine consistently features articles about marginalized people written by authors who do not have lived experience in the topic they are writing about. In the same issue as this article, there was also an article about autism written by a non-disabled author and an article reflecting back on the racism of the TJ Ball written by a white author. The six-person staff of the magazine is 100% white. After two years of intentionally grappling with dismantling white supremacy culture within this religion, this shows that the learnings are not being applied at UU World and there isn’t enough institutional will to ensure they are.

10. This article, and the experiences of trans people in UU congregations, are a further example of the workings of white supremacy culture.

It’s tempting to see trans people as yet another community that has been harmed (in addition to people of color, for example) rather than the same people being harmed again and again and again. Trans people are also people of color, disabled people, low-income people, queer people, young people—in fact, all of these identities are more present among trans UUs than the general UU population. For this religion to survive, much less live into its potential and promise, Unitarian Universalists must stop using a “flavor of the month” approach to talking about oppression. Learn and talk about the ways that UUism is failing trans people, how white supremacy culture is at the heart of this failure, and how trans people of color and other multiply marginalized people face many more barriers to inclusion because of intensified oppression.

 The Transforming Hearts Collective is a collective of four trans and queer faith leaders (Rev. Mykal Slack, Zr. Alex Kapitan, LeLaina Romero, and Teo Drake) that supports congregations in becoming radically welcoming spiritual homes for queer and trans people of all races, classes, abilities, sexualities, and ages.

For those interested in deeper learning and transformation on this topic, we offer a comprehensive online course, "Transgender Inclusion in Congregations," for individuals, congregations, and groups, as well as in-person workshops and guest preaching. Find out more about our offerings.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211109222512/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1552106863676-ZWWZ9P1OPWDH5KQJSY8H/Tips+for+Talking+About+the+UU+World+Article+%281%29.png?content-type=image%2Fpng

The Transforming Hearts Collective is excited to announce an opportunity for Unitarian Universalist religious professionals to experience our ground-breaking course on transgender inclusion in congregations, with role-specific resources!

We have partnered with the Liberal Religious Educators Association (LREDA), the Association of UU Music Ministries (AUUMM), and the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association (UUMA) to create cohorts of religious educators going through the course together, from January to March 2020.

Developed by Rev. Mykal Slack and Zr. Alex Kapitan, this six-session online course supports participants in taking their knowledge and skills to the next level to support congregations in becoming fully inclusive and affirming of trans/non-binary people. Going far beyond a “trans 101,” the course provides a deeply intersectional understanding of trans identity, experience, and spirituality; explores the role of culture in trans exclusion; and provides tools for faith-grounded culture shift that moves the margins to the center.

Benefits of Enrolling

AUUMM, LREDA, and AUUMM members who register will receive:

• Full access to the online course (lectures, resources, and discussion board)

• Placement in a small discussion group of fellow music directors, religious educators, or ministers that will meet virtually three times (once per month)

• Tailored role-specific supplemental resources

• Access to live sessions with Mykal and Alex open only to fellow cohort members taking the course

In addition, LREDA members will receive credit for a 6-hour Learning Experience for credentialing and UUMA members will receive 6 hours of AR/AO/MC continuing education credit.

Details

Registration will close December 1, at which point registrants will be placed in small groups. The course will run from January through March, with small groups meeting once per month to discuss two sessions each time. Each session consists of a 45- to 60-minute pre-recorded lecture, supplemental resources, and reflection questions (get full course details). Participants will watch the lectures on their own whenever they want and then meet up virtually with their small group for discussion.

The course costs $125 per person. If enough people from each cohort sign up, a discount of 20% ($100 per person) will be unlocked. Generous full and partial scholarships are available (fill out the registration form to request a scholarship).

If you are a UUMA, LREDA, or AUUMM member, sign up now:

• LREDA registration

• UUMA registration

• AUUMM registration (coming soon)

Why It Matters

Unitarian Universalism is failing trans people. In January 2019, TRUUsT, the organization of UU trans religious professionals, released a report that showed that almost three-quarters of trans/non-binary UUs do not feel as though their congregation is completely inclusive of them as trans people, and almost half report regularly experiencing trans-related marginalization in UU spaces. 

Only about half of trans UUs who have a UU minister feel comfortable going to that person for pastoral care. Resources for creating trans-sensitive religious education programs for children and youth have lagged behind the ever-increasing need. Religious professionals play a key role in helping congregations and the UU movement as a whole become the home that it professes and strives to be for LGBTQ people of all ages, races, classes, and abilities. Continuing education on this topic is essential.

Questions?

We have answers: Contact us!

Permalink

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211110073031/https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/589767cae58c62ed8ac20bc5/1571952283412-V5YR4OHGZX5LGXXLZNBP/combined+graphic.png?content-type=image%2Fpng