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I'm doing my best and the world seems hellbent on tearing me down.

Right now I’m short on my weekly rent. I don’t have any family to turn to—no backup, no safety net. It’s just me and my girl trying to hold on. I used to make ends meet doing Doordash but my car broke down a while back and I had no choice but to sell it. Since then it’s been week to week in a motel room trying to stay afloat. This shortfall could leave us out on the street with nowhere to go.

I’ve been pushing through serious malnutrition and am doing everything I can to get back on my feet. Due to my situation I’ve been surviving on the cheapest food I can get—things that keep me going but leave my body weak and depleted. I’m dealing with the long-term effects of poor nutrition and exhaustion and I’m trying to pull through. I just need some help getting to the next step.

I've tried reaching out across social media and Reddit groups designed to help and I've only been attacked and mocked. I’ve faced relentless attacks from every direction—mocked for my situation, accused of laziness, called a con artist, and told to just “get a job” like it’s that simple. I’ve been told I’m wasting everyone’s time, that I don’t deserve help, and that my struggles aren’t real or important. People have treated me like I’m less than human, simply because I’m asking for a lifeline in a moment of desperation. This constant judgment chips away at your spirit, making it even harder to keep fighting. It’s not just about money—it’s about dignity, survival, and trying to protect the person I love in a world that seems determined to tear us down.

Every time I reach out, I get slammed—called lazy, a con artist, a waste of space. People attack me like I’m asking for charity just to mess around, not because I’m fighting for my life and my girl’s safety. They don’t see the nights I lie awake, overwhelmed and scared, wondering how to keep a roof over our heads. They don’t feel the weight of every cruel word, the sting of being judged for trying to survive. It’s more than money—it’s my dignity, my pride, and the desperate hope that someone will see me as a person, not just a “problem” to be dismissed. That kind of pain? It cuts deep, and it’s hard to carry when all you want is a chance to keep going.

I care about my girl more than anything—she’s sweet, innocent, and means the world to me. Every move I make is about keeping her safe and protected from the harshness of this world. I’m not just asking for help for myself; it’s about making sure she doesn’t have to face those vultures out there alone. That responsibility weighs heavy on me, and it’s why I keep fighting, even when the attacks and doubts come pouring in. My priority is her safety and well-being, no matter what it takes.

This isn’t about some old patriarchal script or who wears the pants. It’s about a bond built on love and protection—me standing between her and a harsh world that shows no mercy. It’s about carrying the weight so she can have a chance to heal and breathe without fear. That’s not control or dominance; that’s survival, respect, and fierce devotion. This isn’t about some outdated idea of patriarchy or control. It’s about responsibility and love—me doing everything I can to protect and provide for the person I care about most. It’s not about power or dominance; it’s about keeping my girl safe in a world that doesn’t always show mercy.

submitted by /u/realtimothycrawford
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Me and my girl are struggling.

Me and my girl are struggling.

I have a wife. I used to Doordash for a living. My car ended up breaking down from the wear and tear that kept compounding from constantly using my car so much. To make a long story short we ended up losing the car and having to sell it. We're now living week to week in a weekly rate motel while I'm also trying to find a job to get us back on our feet. We have no family support.

This situation is quite hellish. I've been so attacked in this situation. I've never done any drugs or been wasteful with money. We are minimalists and only spend money on food and rent. We don't smoke, drink, play video games or do any subscriptions like Netflix. We just focus on life and eachother. We're short on rent this week. It's so hard when you don't have family in this tribalistic society.

Living on the verge of homelessness is the most horrific thing. Like the mental anguish I go through everyday is so overwhelming. I'll add a little context of my life. My boomer grandparents really fucked up things for me. My father's parents mooched off of their parents until they died. They inherited a house. They were taken care of by their parents but they never took care of their children or grandchildren that way.

My mother's mother married a rich man back in the 80s and had two more children and me and my mother don't fit into her picture perfect fantasy. Growing up she'd only reach out to us and want to have something to do with us when we were doing well but as soon as things got hard she would go off on us and then not have anything to do with us. My mother's father is the same way. He would always come over and mooch off of us and stay with us when we were doing well.

My mother's parents got together young and had my mother and then divorced and went and started new lives and had more children and abandoned my mother with my great grandparents. My parents had to struggle a lot because of the lack of support but it wasn't like my level of struggle because they still had my great grandparents and they had my father's parents who would kinda help them out sometimes begrudgingly.

My father died when I was 14 and my mother became a completely different person. Growing up I thought my mother was just a decent woman but after my father died I realized she adopts the mentality and behavior of whatever man she's with. Me and her are estranged.

Now my father's parents are dead and my mother's parents are alive and well. My mother's father is taken care of by his brothers and sister and family. He's a complete sorry ass but yet they always make sure he has a truck and a place to live.

But people don't understand how it is. I get so attacked and shamed but I've always worked very hard. But working hard isn't what it's about in our modern narcissistic, tribalistic, elitist, patriarchal society. But anyway that's my story.

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Chaos and Concord

11 March 2024 at 11:15
By: Timothy

Chaos and Concord battle in the collective mind.
Chaos whispers to every tribe, religion, and race

“Fear ‘the other’
They covet your power
They envy your advantage.”
She sings to each group,
“You’re the stronger, the higher, the better,
You’re the blessed. Privilege is your right.”

Concord’s small voice speaks of equity, justice and peace.

“Like us, ‘the other’ has tradition, history, community, art.
Like us, they are right to exist.”

“No,” cries Chaos.

“Only the strong, the worthy, the majority can rule.
The vote is your modern weapon for keeping them at bay.
If you cannot defeat them,
feign tolerance to hide your enmity while you bide your time.”

“Tolerance is not enough,” Concord interjects.

“We must be happy for them and their community.
Erasing a culture is not up for ballot.
We can’t hide our violence and bias behind popular votes.
It kills freedom, feeds Chaos, it is cruel.”

“Conquest and conformity,” Chaos asserts,

“is the only way to happiness.”

“Belief that, someday, all will accept the same beliefs,

the same god, the same history,
only perpetuates sadness and despair.”
Concord challenges,

“pursuit of happiness is not by forced acceptance.

Happiness grows

by being happy for each other,
by supporting each other’s spiritual growth,
by helping each other build meaning,
by trying to understand and encourage all those around us.”

May Concord’s voice be heard.

The Rainbow

1 September 2022 at 00:07
By: Timothy

Timothy
CLF member, incarcerated in NY

I was walking in the yard.
He looked like a mob enforcer — probably because he was.
I’d seen him often, fierce and intimidating. We never spoke.
He was looking up. I turned to see a rainbow.
“You have to search for beauty. There is none here in prison.”
“Is that a double rainbow forming?”
“Yes, they are rare.”
“Gorgeous.”
We watched with reverence. It faded away too soon.
“As a kid I’d run out after a rain to look for a rainbow.”
“Did you find many?”
“No. Almost never. But I kept trying.”
“Looking for beauty is always worthwhile.”
We continued talking.
Sharing awe made us humble,
dissolving barriers,
allowing us to act like old friends.
It was beautiful.

Grace

1 April 2021 at 04:07
By: Timothy

I know her
In times of turmoil she is unexpected respite
I cherish what she is, what I am not
Her countenance is hopeful
Her words are kind without rebuke
Hers is not charity, yet no debt is incurred
She assumes I am worthy. I am sure I am not

I know her, but I have never been her
When the turbulence passes
She departs with this wise impress
Do not wait for others to prove worthy
They are already
You are able to be Grace for them
Are you willing?

Dare to Try

1 June 2020 at 04:07
By: Timothy

I make no mistakes. I do not err.
A charge of fault is so unfair.
While others protest in despair
I shift the blame with great fanfare,
then put on an innocent air.
I do not try, so mistakes are rare.

Mistakes are made by those who try,
those who work and question why.
They take their lumps, do not deny,
make no excuse, no alibi.
“I know more now” is their reply,
then move on without tear or sigh.

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211110144255/https://www.questformeaning.org/podcasts/20_06/05.mp3

Integrity’s Blemished Virtue

1 May 2020 at 04:09
By: Timothy

Helen was revered as a good person, and I was happy to be her friend. She was a manager, a mother, an artist, a neighbor. My experiences with her were always warm and affirming. Everyone trusted her integrity because she lived her values.

But one day we find that she has done something horrible—something offending our moral code. In an instant, Helen becomes disturbing to me. How can I trust her? The experiences we shared are erased by a biting fear that all she was is a lie.

Then Hope—an acquaintance, not even a friend—steps forward with a gift of love. Hope and Helen talk, and affirm their relationship is still authentic. With this assurance, Hope is with Helen as she answers for the harm she created. Hope sees Helen as an artist, a manager, a neighbor and a person who violated a tenet. Hope insists we all are more than the worst thing we’ve done, and should not be carelessly discarded. She forces me to ask if integrity is only the memory of unblemished experience, or if it is simply capricious perception. Hope doesn’t say it, but I admit to myself: shame on me!

Attached media: https://web.archive.org/web/20211110135628/https://www.questformeaning.org/podcasts/20_05/04.mp3

Be a patriot

20 February 2017 at 12:00
Illustration of hand with match lighting the Statue of Liberty's torch.

Timothy Snyder

Twenty lessons for citizens of an imperiled democracy, from a scholar of twentieth-century catastrophes.

Illustration of hand with match lighting the Statue of Liberty's torch.

Timothy Snyder

Twenty lessons for citizens of an imperiled democracy, from a scholar of twentieth-century catastrophes.

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