Login
April 2024
“When you become the image of your own imagination, it’s the most powerful thing you could ever do.” —RuPaul
When I think about transformation, I often think of when people say they had a “transformational experience,” or when, as religious professionals, we look for the ways in which ministry can be transformational for our congregants.
And it gets me thinking: What is all this transformation about? In my experience, a lot of people really don’t like change. Even people who say they want to be “transformed” also can really not like change! Why would we seek that which we can’t actually embrace? I tend to think it is because our entire human experience is leading to an ultimate transformation which we cannot know the result: death. So sometimes we are, at best, ambivalent, and other times outright hostile to change.
Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower is one of my favorite books about Change. Because in the book she explores the idea that God is not some distant almighty spirit, but rather the very up close and real experience of Change (capital C.) What an exciting idea to explore! Her most often quoted refrain from the book, and that which the central characters revolve, is “All that you touch You Change. All that you Change Changes you. The only lasting truth is Change. God is Change.”
When I first read that phrase as a young adult, it blew my mind! I loved it. I loved the capitalizations which conveyed the idea that what we’re reading in the capitalized word carried with it the reverence of the word God. Here was a religion I could get behind. The idea that I could continually be both transformational and transformed?! Wow!
This idea helped me look at the changes in my young adult life in a new way. It helped me realize that while there was change that I couldn’t control, I could still make that change part of my life. And it helped me realize that I had a deep responsibility for the Change that I created in the world. That Butler chose to capitalize the Y in “All that you touch You Change” was something I thought about frequently. That I continue to think about when faced with difficult situations and decisions.
In Parable of the Sower, the people who couldn’t change, couldn’t adapt, those who desperately clung to racism, sexism, and fascism, did not survive the new climate changed landscape. They met the ultimate Transformation while resisting the very changes which could have helped their survival. And when I think about the difficulties we face as Unitarian Universalists, I think about what it is we are resisting and could those things be the very things that can prepare us for survival?
In creating the community structures of Parable of the Sower, Butler relies heavily on the community building foundations seen in the “We” culture communities in which she was raised. “We” culture communities in the U.S. are most often found in Black, Latinx, Asian, and Indigenous peoples as well as other BIPOC communities. Among many “We” cultural values, most strikingly, the requirement of putting group needs ahead of the individual needs is foundational in Parable of the Sower.
So I wonder: What would it look like to put the needs of our entire faith community ahead of our individual needs? What are the needs of Unitarian Universalism at large? How do we meet those needs even when it feels like we are not getting what we want as individuals? This feels a lot like the conversations which are going on right now around the proposed changes to the UU Principles and Sources, often referred to as Article II.
As we’ve written about in recent issues of Quest, our denomination is in the process of adopting new language to articulate and ground our faith community. This new language is framed as seven UU values: Justice, Equity, Transformation, Pluralism, Interdependence, Generosity and Love.
I wonder if haven’t we actually already made these changes in spirit. Haven’t we already touched, and thus Changed how we practice Unitarian Universalism? What if the proposed changes — the new UU values — are simply the language catching up to the spirit of Unitarian Universalism?
Perhaps we have already touched and been Changed. Because in the end, Change cannot be successfully resisted but it certainly can be influenced. And we can do so together. ′
How do we remain open to change and transformation?
JACK
CLF Member, incarcerated in MA
Transforming is the action of changing every day, and each and every one of us is witness to transforming experiences whether we know it or not.
For those of us in prison: we meet new inmates, new staff. We are exposed to expressions of concern, love, happiness, sadness, sorrow, and even fear. Every one of our senses meets something new or different, something we had not noticed before, something we had not heard before or smelled before, and we can be open to being transformed by them.
So often we think over the years that nothing is new, and prison life never changes; one day in prison can seem like any other. You know what day it is only by what food is served. But each day is new, each day is different. Each day has the opportunity for us to think differently, discover something new, something we didn’t know before. You may discover someone you had only passed in the hall, someone different from those you talk with every day.
Journaling is one of the best ways of always looking for that one thing, that one day that was new. It may be the one thing that transformed your day into something different, or that offered you the opportunity to be transformed in ways we had never thought possible. Use your senses. Look around. Let your mind out of the cell around you. Let your thoughts roam. Dare to be transformed, to welcome change.
JACOB
CLF Member, incarcerated in AR
Being open to change and transformation is an important part of growing spiritually, maturing and succeeding in life. Transformation is to change or alter in some way shape or form. To remain open to this means to put yourself in situations, to experience new things, to learn — especially to learn of other cultures and religions and practice the knowledge you’ve gained.
By keeping your mind open, you stay open to growth, change, and transformation, but you have to want to.
JASON
CLF member, incarcerated in IL
Transformation is an interesting word, especially for someone who has been in institutions for as long as I have.
As I write the word transformation, it makes me think of who and what I used to be. When I was younger, I was full of hate and fear. I acted impulsively and reacted to what people said or did towards me, which got me into a lot of trouble, as well as a number of fights.
Now, I’m no longer filled with hate, and though I still have some fears, they are nowhere near as bad as the ones I used to have. Now, instead of reacting to what people say or do, I take a mental step back, think things through, and then respond to them.
Now, because of the changes I have made and continue to make as I work to transform myself into the person I want to be, my life is a lot less stressful than it could be.
Frances Koziar
CLF member
Our transformations
are our own, paths we choose
but are never forced to take.
What doesn’t kill you does not
make you stronger, but—
you can choose for it to,
learn lessons from your suffering
that help you create what you believe in.
And those transformations are yours
to be proud of, no one
gets to take credit for the good inside of you
or the skills you have worked on, especially
not those who have abused you.
Because you choose your self
if not your path, and that has always
been your strength.
Kay Anderst
CLF Member, incarcerated in KS
When I read that April’s theme was Transformation, I decided that it was time to share my story with the world for the first time. 2024 is a big year for me, as I have begun the Male to Female (MtF) transition process. It took a lot of prayer and soul searching to get to where I am now.
My journey begins in rural South Dakota. My parents are immigrants, I am a first generation American. We are of Eastern European and Jewish descent, so old Testament laws and morals were imprinted into me as I grew up. There was right and there was wrong with no shades of gray or alternate choices. The result of this strict upbringing was inner turmoil as I got older. I saw that my orientation and gender identity were not compatible with what I had been taught.
How can God love me, I thought, when every thought and action I took were tainted by sin? Why did He make me so broken, so against everything He wanted mankind to be? These questions haunted me every time I tried to pray.
In my 20s I turned away from God completely, going years without a single prayer. I embraced a bisexual identity and found a measure of happiness. After a time, I figured out that I was transgender, and it was only then did the pieces start to fall into place.
I was then angry with God. How could he do this to me? Was he asleep at the switch the day I was born?
My turning point came when a woman I was dating told me something. She said that God didn’t make mistakes, and that He put me here on earth because she liked girls like me. I was like this to be there to love her. Something else she pointed out was that there were millions like me, all through history. Would God have allowed so many of us to be made if not by his will?
This happened right before I came to prison. While it helped me make the final decision to make the MtF conversion, I have spent the last 4 years in hiding, biding my time until I felt it was safe enough to come out into the light. While difficult, God has helped me through this dark time. My personal relationship with Him is the strongest it’s been in my entire life.
So now is my time for change and transformation. It’s not an overnight process; in fact it will take a couple years. I will face many challenges ahead, but I know that what I do is by design. This is what He wanted of me. This place, this prison, is no longer my place of confinement.
It is now God’s tool of transformation and change. I am right where I need to be. I will emerge from this cocoon in 2 years and like a butterfly, I will be free to live the life and be the woman he always wanted me to be.
If anyone reading this is contemplating similar choices, or has been down this road before, your welcome to share your story with me.
You may contact me at: Kay Anderst 18611-273, PO Box 1000 USP 2, Leavenworth, KS 66048.
This Sunday, April 21, is Nonbinary Parents Day. As Unitarian Universalists (UUs), we not only open our doors to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, we value diversity of sexuality and gender and see it as a spiritual gift. We share with you a blessing to affirm and celebrate all nonbinary parents and caregivers. (See our Facebook post for beautiful graphics of this prayer!)
Blessing for Nonbinary Parents Day
To all the in-betweens, outside-ofs, not-quites, both/ands, and neithers:
We honor all of who you are and all of how you nurture and care.
Through your embodied authentic self, you impart a transformative love.
A love that is abundant, bold, whole, holy, you.
On this Nonbinary Parents’ Day, may we amplify this transformative love into a world that allows you to be secure and safe, to rest, breathe, and relax.
On this joyous day, may we celebrate the sacredness of your relationship and role.
Written and offered by:
Mylo Way, UUA Youth & Emerging Adult Ministry Staff and "Bo"
Rev. Ranwa Hammamy, Side With Love Congregational Justice Organizer and "Nommy"
Noor Hammamy-Way, Honorary Staff and "Cube"
We are pleased to welcome Nicole Pressley as the Organizing Strategy Director for Side With Love!
Nicole first joined Side With Love in 2020 as the National Organizer for UU the Vote and has since worked to strengthen our infrastructure, nurture partnerships, and coordinate collective action across our core issues as the Field and Programs Director.
Click here to read the full blog post announcement.
Our movement partner SACReD, is hosting a multi-faith conference centering Reproductive Justice: the SACReD Gathering, May 7-9.
Connecting healing, skill building, deeper analysis, and organizing, the SACReD Gathering will strengthen our cross-movement connections and capacities to build a world where Reproductive Justice is a lived reality.
May 10: UPLIFT Transgender/Nonbinary+ Pastoral Small Group
5pm PT / 8pm ET
This is a space to share the hard stuff and to hold the hard stuff that others are navigating in their lives. During our time together, our lead chaplain/facilitators will share opening and closing words, and in between, there is time for everyone to share what's on their hearts, and receive what others are sharing about their own lives. Register to join.
May 23: Faithful Grounding
4:30pm PT / 7:30pm ET
Join our Side with Love Fun & Spiritual Nourishment Squad for an hour of spiritual sustenance and grounding with others organizing on the side of love. Come drink in the music, meditation, play, and prayer. We end with a Connection Cafe for those who wish to talk together. Show up as you are, whatever is in your heart, and with your camera on or off as you need. Register to join.
May 28: UPLIFT Trans/Nonbinary+ Monthly Gathering
5pm PT / 8pm ET
Join the UPLIFT monthly gatherings for trans, nonbinary, and other not-entirely-or-at-all-cis UUs and friends of UUism. Join us to connect with other trans/nonbinary+ UUs and co-create support and community across our faith. This is a drop-in space, where folks can come and go as works best for them, and where people can join us at any time. Register to join.
Nonbinary Parents Day and May Programming from UPLIFT!
Joseph M. Cherry
:'You are a light, a lamp in the night to help people find their way, but you cannot be their way.'
Both my parents came from christian backgrounds but grew away from the religion. My father, because of the theatric nature of congregations he was a part of and my mother because of the judgement she felt amoung her Christian peers. In my childhood I was taught to despise religious institutions because of the power structures that exist therein. As I am transitioning to adulthood I've began to seek spiritual connection and an understanding of divinity. In my journey towards spiritual connection I've graduated towards American Transcendentalism because many notions of the ideaology align with epiphanies I've had during psychedelic experiences. In researching transcendentalism I was introduced to Unitarian Universalism and found a local fellowship in my city. Based on my background and religious beliefs I was wondering if UU might be right for me and furthermore, if anyone from a similar background has benefitted in their spiritual journey by joining a UU settlement. Any advice at all is welcome, thank you all!
One of the challenges of older years is watching people die. James W. Harris has written on his blog, "Would you rather be remembered or do the remembering?"
Husbands and wives probably have the most intimate discussion of these considerations.
Part of my spiritual practice is to do a daily reading and today's topic is on the spiritual dimensions of grief. There were a few quotes offered for consideration and the one that struck me as most interesting and applicable to my life is "Though painful and unwanted, grief has unexpected creative and transformative power. It is not just an emotional response to loss but a deep unsettling of the soul. In grief you realize that you can't go on as before, and some of the pain comes from losing familiar sources of meaning. You have to reinvent life, imagine it differently. At the same time grief ties you to the past. Because of grief your life remains whole, even when events seem to tear it apart. Grief won't let you forget what life has been like. ..."
Being remembered means we are gone and don't have to do any work any longer on understanding ourselves and life, but having to do the remembering puts us in the position of having to make some sort of sense of the loss and the meaning for our current life. Making this meaning can have tremendous power in facilitating growth and pushing us to higher levels of awareness of the interdependent web of this thing we call life.
This process of interpretation and meaning making takes a tremendous amount of energy and leaves us innervated for mundane things. Observations when incongruous and absurd aren't funny any more but rather more annoying and not worth a laugh. We become more serious about prioritizing what really matters and attending to that. In the end, most people say that what matters the most to them is family and beloved friends and when they are lost to us, that just leaves us with Love in a rarefied form no longer attached to egos but unconditional from the Transcendent Source that sustains all things.
Doing the little things with great love is what sustains us as we move forward through our grief creating a new life without the physical presence of those we’ve lost. While the physical body is gone, the spirit of the person lives on in the stories we tell about our experience of them. The challenge is to incorporate these stories into the new life we are creating as we move into the future, unknown in its differences without the one we have become accustomed and attached to.
Now that I am home again after 5 months in orthopedic rehab and having a brief hospitalization for gallbladder surgery, I am back to watching movies again. When asked about my hobbies, I have sometimes answered that I am a bit of a film buff.
Watching movies and reading good books serves me well in learning more about human nature, life, and the world we are living in. This understanding and appreciation not only serves me well personally, but helps me be more empathic, understanding and compassionate in my work as a Social Worker. I am reminded of this benefit of watching movies when two days ago I stumbled across “The Peanut Butter Falcon” on the Video Prime streaming service.
The Peanut Butter Falcon is a movie about Zak, a man with Down Syndrome living in a nursing home, who escapes and meets up with a small-time thief on the lame, Tyler. An unlikely pair, they become buddies and Tyler helps Zak realize his dream of becoming a Professional Wrestler by training at the wrestling school run by the Salt Water Redneck.
This movie is funny as well as poignant as the friendship develops and the adventure proceeds.
Can people with developmental disabilities have high quality lives? Absolutely yes as demonstrated by the activities depicted in the movie. Is our society better because of the inclusion of people who are neurodiverse? Yes, again. The proof? Watch the movie and decide.
WWUUD stream 