I was raised Unitarian Universalist by my traumatized-by-Christianity mother, which I loved, because Sunday school consisted of learning about other cultures and religions, and I was NEVER told what to believe. It was SO COOL! No surprises that I ended up atheist for most of my life. 🤣 Respect to all UUs (I'm sure there are plenty of them here)... it always felt like a group to belong to rather than a religion. I'm CERTAIN several UUs would agree, but maybe just as many would also disagree. I would love to hear your thoughts on a few things. This stuff fascinates me, and I don't feel comfortable talking about it with people who are going to spout religious shit to me. This is such a gigantic community from people of all walks of life. I feel like it would be awesome to hear so many varied responses and ideas.

My brother died of a heroin overdose almost a decade ago. It fucking sucked. I miss him. That said, it didn't really change my beliefs. I know when people die, lots of their loved ones experience changes in beliefs, and often times I think it's due to WANTING SO BADLY to not have lost that person forever. Makes total logical sense. It's sad.

A year ago, my mom died. However, this time, it REALLY changed things for me. I feel her visiting me a LOT. I feel I get weird signs from her. I am 100% convinced I've had 3 or 4 visitation dreams from her, though I dream of her almost every night. You don't have to explain to me how all of this has completely non-religious, common sense explanations. That's pretty obvious to me. My mom and I were so fucking close. We had that weird telepathy thing going on that only very close people have. If you have a spouse, twin, or loved one you're close to, you know what I'm talking about! Finishing sentences, calling at the same time, knowing what the other will say when you've both been silent for a long time, etc. Of course even if there's absolutely nothing more than BOOM you're dead, I'd feel that way due to our closeness. She is always with me, regardless of what happens after death, because she was a foundational part of my life.

For my whole life, I've always been very sensitive, and I do feel I have a way with connecting to certain things, especially nature/animals. I think I'd be considered an empath maybe since I'm very tuned into people's feelings and my environment? I nurture lots of stuff and teach little kids. Like I said, I am sensitive. Lots of childhood trauma and bullying pretty much made me that way.

I don't believe in heaven and hell or anything like that, but I really wonder if it's possible something else happens when you die. Are we over? Yeah, maybe. But maybe not. I also wonder if there's a scientific explanation that would explain whatever else could happen. For lack of better language, I'd think there'd be evidence for "god" (and of course evolution but I don't feel I need to explicitly state that here 🤣. Also don't really know what else to call god... The universe? Energy? I dunno!). I've read about crazy physics studies where cells react weirdly when one is given stimulation somewhere and the other, that used to be with to the first cell, is miles and miles away. All of this stuff fascinates me and it is overwhelming to consider all the shit we just don't understand. Makes you really wonder about the things that aren't even on our radar or within our realm of understanding.

Do you guys ever think about this stuff? Ever wonder about wtf started the big bang? Most mediums and ghost sightings are COMPLETE bs, I'm sure... But what if a few are real?? Is it a weird glitch in time rather than a true "ghost?" Or let's say Astral projection... I am sad to say that I think most people who believe they can do that are likely mentally ill (or hopefully dreaming!), but the CIA did try to study that shit!

Do you guys think about this stuff a lot? Any cool wonderings you have or crazy facts you know/experiences you have? There's no where else I'd want to post this, because I just don't want to hear about God this and God that. If "god" exists, it's not like anyone living could understand it. This is the one place I'd feel safe discussing things. Please do let me know if there's a better place to post this. As I said, I have no interest in pushing belief systems on anyone, nor do I think that is OK. Plus, I don't even know what I would call myself. I do kind of feel like I'm atheist... AND agnostic.... AND curious AF. (Yes, I know that's a little bit oxymoronic.) I'm so scientifically minded, that if there's anything weird going on, I KNOW it would be able to be explained by science. Ultimately, I know we are a bunch of peons who don't know shit about the universe. 🤣 I like to remain open minded. There's always more to learn.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure my rambling has gotten my point across. I guess I'd just love to hear what keeps you guys up late at night when you're pondering. What are all your thoughts about this shit? Hope you're all well! 💜💜💜💜