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Am I just too young, overbearing, or not a good fit for my church?

20 May 2022 at 12:48

This is a throwaway account

So without giving too much away. I (27M) recently started attending a UU church in my area about 7-8 months ago. I quickly learned they were in a transitional period and felt like it would be a good time to join. It was apparent that the congregation was significantly older, 70+, but I had no qualms with that; however, my consistent presence I think has upset some of the members.

I am the kind of person who needs to be involved in order to feel a since of belonging. I desperately tried to find more info about events, get togethers, etc., but quickly learned the only way to really get that information was talking with people. So I did and I got involved helping plan activities just so I could know what was happening. This was fine for awhile, but then I kept constantly hear about how there were only a few leaders doing a lot and people, both from the church and the broader community, weren't showing up to things.

I think more than anything these comments really frustrated me because I really try to help and be there.

Recently there was a meeting which involved all those who were doing things within the church. Yet again there was this overarching tone of lack of leadership or outreach/ marketing for events. This also included statements about how we want the congregation to grow, especially with families, and I sat in that meeting thinking about all the ways I have offered to help, yet there was hardly ever any follow through.

I understand I am a gung-ho kind of person, but when all these people fail to utilize me, continue to complain, and then talk about how they want growth near my demographic I'm left utterly frustrated. I understand that it may sound like I'm being overbearing, but really try to understand and respect that I am fairly new to the church. I am not trying to implement really any change. I just want to be involved and help, and for some reason it feels like that is a bad thing or there is this imaginary line I have to cross before I am fully allowed to contribute.

There is another church in town, but it is significantly bigger and that really deters me as I have only really gone to smaller churches. I just feel like if I am going to continue going to this church I am going to have to pull back significantly and that really defeats the point of going for me.

I know younger people in general seem to have a hard time with this religion, but I really like it and I want other people to like it. However, if they are going to continue this pattern of behavior why on earth would I invite others?

I don't know if anyone else has gone through this before or how they handled it, but I would really appreciate different perspectives.

submitted by /u/yainoldcongregation
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