Having trouble with the first principle. I've cut out so many people after this election. For my own safety and kinda feeling betrayed by some people I was close to. So how do you still see the inherent worth and dignity of individuals who clearly don't care or see the inherent worth and divinity of me ?

Hey guys, I’m posting here cause I am just starting my journey into religion after turning away for a while and could use some advice around some things. I originally posted this in another sub, but thought I might get some more specific feedback here. I was raised episcopal, and I stopped going cause of some big T traumas that happened in my childhood and early 20s. Additionally, being part of the queer community has not driven me closer to wanting to be Christian. I missed church though, so I reached out to a local UU Reverend and asked about going on Sunday and for some guidance cause I’m honestly lost with all this stuff. We set up a time to meet and I have gone the past two Sundays. I really like what I see so far, more than I expected to. The Reverend seems like an absolute gem, and he has a husband so it’s not like I’m worried about him being homophobic.

I am meeting with him tomorrow and am really nervous because it feels like I want to get the most out of our meeting, but I don’t want to overshare or make a fool of myself or anything. I was gunna bring some homemade bread and rosemary salt from the garden as a thanks for meeting with me, is that okay/normal? I really want his input on this block I’ve been having, but I know if we start talking about why I’m having a hard time connecting spiritually it will lead back to my PTSD and why I left in the first place. All roads lead to Rome. I have a therapist, and I am not looking for someone to trauma dump on, but it is a big part of my life/religious journey. So I guess I’m wondering how much is too much to share with him if the conversation goes that way? I tend to stay closed off normally, and think my tendency is not to overshare, but I really want help with this, and I think it might require me to share more than I normally do. I just met him two weeks ago and while he feels trustworthy, I’m still scared of sharing too much, making a bad impression, or screwing it all up. Maybe this is just my anxiety poking through, but if anyone has any insight around what to expect and what is TMI that would be wonderful.

Also I am wondering if anyone has insight around this block I’ve been having. I don’t really know how to explain it, but whenever I would pray when I was younger I would feel this connection, comfort, and almost held or loved. I still feel that sometimes after a big yoga session or if I am alone in the woods or something. I’ve tried praying recently and it just doesn’t work for me. I may as well be reading a grocery list, and it just feels like I can’t tap in anymore. I’d love to hear thoughts around how to navigate that, or maybe if anyone else has been in a similar place how they figured out how to relate to their own spirituality.

Hi I am 20F and I have been in a spiritual/religious journey since my early teens. My Mom was extremely Christian but I attended many different churches which was confusing. (Protestant, Methodism & Pentecostal). I’ve never enjoyed or had morals that aligned with anything inside of Christianity. I have always had a belief that in there own way everything was accurate and I had more of a spiritual connection to beliefs. I just recently found this belief in UU and it so strongly resonates with me as I research but my issue is I’m very afraid of my family’s backlash and my fear to be able to be my authentic self.

I live in the Midwest and all my family is Extremist when it comes to religion and politics. They have always treated and acknowledged people differently in many ways I don’t agree with, I even have close friends that I have began drifting from due to this recent election in the way they think and speak about others. I want to be able to be my authentic self and talk about my own beliefs but am very afraid to have backlash and possibly shunned by my family. When I turned 18 I moved out so I am living on my own and being an adult is hard enough. I am afraid of loosing my support system as their beliefs are strongly routed but I don’t know how much longer I can hear disgusting things about others and have this atmosphere around me it feels awful.

I guess I don’t really know how to accept that fact or move forward in being my authentic self and holding strong in my beliefs. The only support I have is my boyfriend and his family feels the same as me but my partner is not close to his family in the way I am. I have only dropped hints of my feelings here and there and it is usually dismissed but I know if I came out as not being a Christian and that my views on religions, immigrant, LGBTQ issues and etc would be a complete and total shock to my family because it is the exact opposite in how they feel.

A couple of years ago, and after experiencing a devastating series of personal losses, my partner and I decided to seek out both spirituality and community via a local church. But being more progressive than not, and an interracial couple in our 40's, that ruled out a lot of churches. But after some light research, we agreed that our local Unitarian Universalist or "UU" church might be a good fit as it seemed more liberal than conservative. However, after attending services for roughly 8 months and joining a potluck group for several, we ended up having a set of experiences that left us deeply unimpressed with the culture of the/our UU church, making our decision not to become members easy and obvious.

To further explain, during the very first service we attended, we were thrilled to hear abortion referred to as healthcare, but dismayed by the utter lack of diversity or the demographics of the congregation which skew almost completely elderly (65+) and caucasian - despite being right next to a medium-sized (135k population-wise) and very diverse city. Nevertheless, recognizing the truth of MLK Jr's words about Sundays at 11 am being the most segregated time in America (but why the age issue?), we agreed to be open-minded and continued to attend services.

And while we enjoyed the music and found the lifespan or children's director's sermons simply joyful as he tended to focus on both self-awareness and resilience, we found the actual minister's sermons lacking. For, they were so focused on "social justice issues" or what we could do/should do for others, the idea that we (and others for that matter) might also be in pain/looking for more inner peace or coming for spiritual sustenance ourselves seemed to get lost. Instead, we listened to what felt like superior/condescending sermon after superior/condescending sermon about either "educating" (conservatives) or "supporting" others (POC/LGBTQ/Immigrants).

Worse, coffee hours meant that we were also forced to contend with the various members' "social justice" preoccupations. For instance, one especially obnoxious member (the Blowhard from here on out) who clearly viewed himself as an "activist" (as opposed to the clueless and self-righteous volunteer/retiree he actually is) kept approaching us about the issue of voter rights for folks convicted of felonies. And while we would vaguely decline to get involved, I regret not asking him (or any of these very old, very caucasian, and very middle and upper-middle class UU members) if they'd had ANY personal and/or professional experiences with convicted felons. Because, unlike them, I have. A lot. Both personal and professional. As a result, I know that felons don't generally tend to be very civic-minded, something that MIT's political science department has confirmed by tracking voting patterns for convicted felons still allowed to vote in both ME and VT. And given the opportunity to vote - while still in prison even - they have overwhelmingly opted not to. Hell, only 64% of Americans voted in the 2024 Presidential election, so what made the Blowhard so sure that the majority of felons, of all people, are so desperate to vote?!

My guess or sense based on experience? He, like many of these old and caucasian "liberals" had never really been around folks convicted of felonies, and certainly not any folks unlike themselves in terms of both race and class. And, as a result, he was incapable of really reflecting on this issue in a grounded way. Nor had he been able to develop any true instincts for social justice work or a sense of what efforts might be more meaningful than not. Instead, he'd just hopped on a bandwagon despite his lack of knowledge and very much fueled by his obvious self-righteousness. And without realizing it, he kept announcing both with his cringe-inducing virtue-signaling about this - and other issues. So much so, that we came to loathe seeing the Blowhard approach us yet again. Especially as I personally like to focus my own efforts on protecting a woman's bodily autonomy or raising the minimum wage, things that could have actual impact - beyond making white liberals feel good about themselves.

And then we joined a church potluck group (which, unfortunately, included the blowhard!) and came to realize only a couple of meals in that minus one lovely man and one lovely woman, the 7 elderly UU'ers all had personalities very similar to the Blowhard's. Meaning that they seemed to be fueled by the exact same off-putting self-righteousness which is in itself fueled by 1) insecurity 2) a lack of knowledge and 3) a desire to appear superior. So the insecurity would show up in that they'd be very self-promoting about their various volunteer efforts (always dressed up as "activism") which was beyond tedious. The lack of knowledge would show up just as it had with the Blowhard's voting rights push, but also in relation to things like what was driving the conservative vote (authoritarianism, not just a lack of education as they'd incorrectly posit) or by stating that my immigrant partner's relatively homogenous home country was "diverse" because he, well, seemed "diverse" to them by virtue of being a POC. And the desire to appear superior was especially apparent as the self-promotion would prompt competitiveness which would then prompt rude questions and dismissiveness about one another's efforts, experiences and connections. For instance, when my partner mentioned that I grew up as a minority in my hometown's school system, we were both amazed to witness zero curiosity about this (minus from the one lovely man in our group) but obvious competitiveness/dismissiveness instead. As if some weird desire to be the most "woke" of all was at play. It was exhausting. For we now felt like these people who'd both grown up in very homogenous places and settled in very homogenous places, nevertheless expected to be recognized as something they simply aren't: Sophisticated critical thinkers on issues having to do w/ gender, race and class. And the final two incidents that caused us to leave the church altogether proved that in spades.

First, during one especially awful dinner, the Blowhard engaged in sexist mansplaining that involved him asserting - to a table filled with women who've never had a member of their own gender represent them as President, and have now watched two qualified women lose to an utterly unqualified man accused of rape not once but twice - that racism is more pervasive than sexism. And what happened? Not a single one of these so-called "activists" pushed back on that assertion. Instead, he let out a thoroughly dysregulated shriek of "What?!" when I conveyed my gut-level response to his mansplaining with an almost involuntary scoffing sound. Yet, there was no guilt. No remorse. No concern that he'd made a sexist or even an offensive comment. Had he or anyone bothered to further inquire, I would have reminded him and them that sexism exists in every culture while homogenous cultures experience less racism. But his sexism and his rudeness - and the permission they granted him to be both - shocked me into silence.

Next, and during our final potluck, the Blowhard actually took the opportunity to center himself, an old white man, in a story having to do with women’s safety in the world. And, again, not a single one of those so-called "activists" pushed back. In fact, his one female friend even egged him on! Of course, she'd already proven the psych concept that like attracts like. For, like him, she was more than slightly ridiculous in that she too identified as an "activist" as opposed to the reality: someone who'd failed to launch a true career, but was privileged enough to be a sort of volunteer/protestor - just one with a blog that screamed, "look at me"! And I write this as someone who has had a career working on behalf of abused women and children for most of my adult life, but would never identify as an activist because I've worked alongside true activists and know the incredible price they have and do pay, both practically and emotionally. So listening to her, well, brag about getting arrested at various protests, while not recognizing that she has the luxury of being arrested w/out any fear of losing her livelihood (among other things) was beyond grating. To give this even more context, she and the Blowhard had actually interviewed one another about their various volunteer efforts for their little town newsletters in order to feed their mutual self-importance.

Finally, my partner and I do of course appreciate that not every UU church is like this one. But we also wonder how many there are that are exactly like this one as we found the culture deeply depressing and the exact opposite of what we needed in terms of commonality, connection and community after surviving painful losses. And we've since agreed that if a church attracts a certain kind of demographic (white, elderly, middle to upper middle class) and then a certain kind of personality (self-righteous), it has to both cater to and reckon with both. But, from our view, the church is simply failing to ask people to look inward as opposed to only looking outward. And in doing so, it is also failing to recognize that the Unitarian Universalist church doesn't just have a diversity problem. It has a self-righteousness problem.

Really, I am. I don't really like getting political, as I never know who I might be offending, but I'd assume most here are probably pretty progressive like me.

As a self identified Humanist, the way people are being treated now makes me sick to my stomach. Treating all illegal immigrants as murderers, drug dealers, cartel members and overall like lower class humans in general is a notion I will never agree with. Just because somebody has entered the US illegally, doesn't mean they are any of these things. I'm fairly certain most aren't. I can't speak for all obviously. Some of my best friends are Chaldean, and now legal citizens. I would have never believed in treating them any differently when I first met them because they used to be non-citizens.

And of course, the treatment of transgender people. As someone who is a bi ally of the LGBTQ community, this is also a huge issue for me personally.

Obviously I am in the US. There is a transgender unity rally near me that I'm bummed that I can't attend.

Just got this beautiful prose in a newsletter and thought I’d share:

Trans and nonbinary people have always been here. Acknowledging this calls us to honor them as vital and irreplaceable members of the human family and essential threads in the divine tapestry of creation. We affirm this not just as a response to oppression, but as a truth that has always existed.

Anybody know if there are any congregations in Mexico? Specifically, close to San Luis Potosí?

The progressive parts about helping the poor are great, but how do you reconcile that with the parts like that seggs is bad unless it's married couples making a real attempt to reproduce, or that appear to expect believers to go out and convert others and say that it's not just the believers who are subject to judgement so you're harming others if you don't convert them? Or that appear to say magick is a sin even if someone else is the one casting the spells? I don't agree with any of those parts but I'm a slightly witchy atheist, not a follower of a major religion.

With the recent political administration's new executive orders, as a bisexual, progressive leaning Humanist, this really hurts me and I sort of take it personal.

That said, I wish there was something I could do. I live in a fairly blue state. I wish I could organize a kind of protest, or even something for a show of support for people who are LGBTQ and others who have been affected by the newer political spectrum.

Do UU's get involved with activism like this? Also, is anyone here in Michigan or Southeast Michigan?

Trying to find more information about how a church can positively impact local community, and not just the church community. Thank you!

Edit 1: Thanks for all the feedback - it's exactly why I came here to discuss this. I completely agree that legal consultation is essential. I may have a connection through my UU congregation who could help provide initial guidance.

I want to clarify my intent: This isn't about excluding anyone. We specifically want to protect and include medically vulnerable residents. We'd absolutely welcome and accommodate those who can't be vaccinated for medical reasons. The goal would be that having all medically-able residents stay up-to-date with CDC-recommended vaccines would help create a safer environment for those who can't be vaccinated.

This would aim to safeguard our most vulnerable community members - whether they're immunocompromised, transplant recipients, undergoing chemotherapy, or families with young children. But you're absolutely right that we need legal expertise to ensure we structure this appropriately and comply with all applicable laws.

I'd appreciate any resources or examples of how other communal living spaces have successfully navigated these considerations. Thanks again for helping me think this through more carefully.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

TL;DR:

We're proposing a health safety policy for our community to enhance resident safety, including required vaccinations (COVID-19, Influenza, Pneumococcal, Hepatitis A & B, Tdap), testing, and clear quarantine guidelines. Despite pushback from the housing board—who see the pandemic as over, fear lawsuits, and have anti-vaccine residents—I believe these measures are crucial to prevent illnesses like shingles, the flu, and COVID-19.

Some UU friends have mentioned the 4th Principle ("A free and responsible search for truth and meaning") as a reason not to get vaccinated, but I feel that Sunday services or someone's own apartment/house are different from shared communal housing. Your feedback and advice are welcome.

Hello everyone,

I'm reaching out for feedback on a proposed health safety policy for our UU intentional community. Our goal is to enhance resident safety and well-being while respecting privacy and addressing the nuances of our shared living environment.

Current Safety Measures:

• Infrastructure: Recently paved driveway, well-lit hallways, secure hand railings, and handicapped-accessible ramps.
• Pest Control: Effective trash management.
• Building Safety: Fire procedures and property insurance.
• Food Safety: Refrigerators at 40°F and mandatory handwashing before food preparation.

Activity Restrictions:

• No pets in the residence.
• No firearms or weapons allowed.

Proposed Health Safety Requirements for New Residents:

Vaccinations (per CDC guidelines):

• COVID-19 (primary series + boosters)
• Annual Influenza vaccine
• Pneumococcal vaccines
• Hepatitis A & B series
• Tdap (Tetanus, Diphtheria, Pertussis)

Testing and Notification:

• Agreement to get tested when symptomatic.
• Prompt notification of positive test results.
• Clear quarantine guidelines when ill.
• Masking in common areas when experiencing symptoms.

Implementation Plan:

• Add requirements to housing materials.
• Discuss during initial tours.
• Provide clear written guidelines.
• Create a reporting system for health concerns.

Why This Matters:

We share multiple communal spaces, increasing our vulnerability to disease transmission. Examples include:

• Preparing a meal while someone uses the laundry for sickbed sheets.
• Checking mail next to someone with an illness.
• Sharing bathroom spaces during cold and flu season.

Regional Practices:

• Nearby universities require COVID-19 vaccination for all students and employees, with exemptions considered.

Public Health Support:

Influenza Vaccine:

• Annual vaccination is crucial, especially in communal living.
• Reduces risk of hospitalization and severe illness.

Pneumococcal Vaccine:

• Essential for adults 50+ and those with certain health conditions.
• Prevents serious illness from pneumococcal diseases.

Shingrix (Shingles) Vaccine:

• Recommended for everyone 50+.
• Highly contagious and potentially devastating in close-living environments.

Additional Vaccines:

• Tdap/Td: Boosters needed every 10 years.
• Hepatitis A & B: Recommended for shared living environments to prevent liver infections.

UU Principles in Action:

Our proposed health safety policy aligns with our Unitarian Universalist principles:

1st Principle: The inherent worth and dignity of every person.

• By ensuring vaccinations and health protocols, we honor and protect each individual's right to a safe living environment, especially those who are immunocompromised.

7th Principle: Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

• Our interconnectedness means that protecting one person's health safeguards the entire community. Vaccinations and health measures are acts of respect and care for the collective well-being.

Challenges with the Housing Board:

At a recent board meeting, there was pushback from the board. Some members view the pandemic as over, and there are current residents who are anti-vaccine. Additionally, the board is concerned about potential lawsuits for mishandling medical records and violating HIPAA regulations. While I deeply sympathize with their commitment to serving our community, their approach often focuses more on minimizing organizational risk than addressing the genuine human dynamics and safety concerns that shape our daily community life. But I don’t want COVID again, shingles, or the flu.

Some UU friends have mentioned the 4th Principle ("A free and responsible search for truth and meaning") as a reason not to get vaccinated, but I feel that Sunday services are different from shared communal housing.

I welcome your questions, advice, and discussion about these safety measures and how best to communicate with our UU housing board.

Thank you for your input and support!

My wife and I began attending some activities at a local UU fellowship after the 2024 election results left us with a need for connecting with like minded folks. So far so good! I've had atheistic inclinations since childhood, even though I grew up a minister's son. We've tried moderate/liberal Christian settings, but just couldn't find a need for negotiating with the core Christian "doctrinal" message of a fall and need for redemption, or for even using Christian language in a more liberal context. So we haven’t been a part of an organized “religious/spiritual” community for 15+ years.

I resonate strongly with the Universalist word in UU, whether or not my resonance is the one initially intended. I've always found the universe as we know it (plus what we don't know) as worthy of awe and respect, worship even. There's something about accepting things based on reality that appeals to me more than trying to construct subjective theories for what one wants the universe to be. I came away from the election wanting to be a voice in my immediate and larger world for an alternate world view to counteract those that lead toward homogenous nationalism and self-centeredness.

I've seen recent discussions here on the humanist aspects of UU. I think for a lot of "outsiders" the term humanist suggests we are worshiping humanity and see humanity as perfectible. (This perhaps is a byproduct of religions that view a perfect god and followers who attempt to emulate that perfection.) I guess I'm finding more of a home in the notion of being a Universalist - with no doctrinal strings. The best thing we as humans can do is accept and work with the universe as it is, in hopes of advancing ourselves and our immediate and global world. I hoped the vector or direction our country was going in was somehow following that notion - valuing science, diversity, community. Not so much, it appears. So that's what is drawing me to Unitarian Universalism at this time and place.

I'm going to take the UU Institute Coming of Age for Adults: Building a Faithful UU Identity course online this February. It's a free course.

I'm inviting you to also take the course and for us to discuss each module, about one per week. For those whom the time zones work out, we'll do a voice chat.

Here's an invite to the discord. Look for the thread on the #ask-a-uu channel

Hi! I'm a recently de converted Christian looking to try out unitarian universalism. Are there any churches in Boston with congregations in their 20s and 30s?

A bit of a weird question maybe: In the Christian Denominations I have been associated with, lay people were called Brother or Sister. Paid staff were called ministers or pastors, so Sr. Pastor, youth pastor, music Minister, song director… each church was independent and autonomous but might belong to a higher association for guidance, missionary work, summer camps etc. There were no Bishops or hierarchy above the local church. From my understanding the same is true of UU. So what do we, in the UU call each other if anything? And what do my fellow local UU’s mean when they call someone Bishop? Are there UU Bishops or possibly is this, like the title Rabbi just the actual title for a visiting Rabbi that is not UU but comes every so often as a paid speaker? Also I just found out last night we have an important UUA membership form to fill out before February 5th. Anyone familiar with this form? I’m going to be going over it today and the member who used to fill it out will be coming back here in a few days to walk me through it, hopefully that will be an easy no brained of just supplying information to the UUA.

Hello Everyone

I am participating in a book club currently looking at this book.

This week we looked at the Introduction. The author has interesting views on religion and it's affects on society. And even though there is so much negative there is some art and humanitarian causes that come out of it.

According to the author the idea of all religions point to the same God is wrong.

Each religion sees different problems in the world. And each has different ways to to deal with the problem. Each has a different ultimate goal.

If you've read the books tell me what you think of the author's words.

If you haven't feel free to tell me you general thoughts.

Hi! I'm a member of Senior Youth at my congregation, and the time has come to plan our youth service! This year, I really want to shake it up and do a different format or do an interactive activity to build community between us and the older generation, as I feel there's a huge disconnect. I would appreciate any interesting ideas that may have worked in your congregations or you feel would hold value!

Ok, I am researching the history of Unitarian Universalism. I have just read about the King of Transylvania John Zapolya, while Christian, also displayed values associated with modern UU. He encouraged non violence amongst all Christians and even towards the Islamic Ottoman Empire. So my brain went down a rabit whole. What if the modern day associations of monsters in Transylvania was the result of religious propaganda aimed at Unitarians. So then we have to go to Stoker , the author of Dracula. He was Irish, Christian, and a freemason. There was vampire lore already present but Dracula's popularity solidified it.

Please tell me your thoughts and knowledge.

I've yet to attended a UU service in person.
Have joined a few zoom calls to suss it out and I liked what I've seen.
I've a lot of religious trauma from growing up in my parents church and attending in person just fills me with anxious dread.

But suppose someone asks you to do something Sunday morning and you're planning on going to a service - what do you say?
Do you say you're going to church?
A community meeting?
A salon with like minded people?

I know it likely doesn't matter much but do you refer to attending UU as a church?

I have seen numerous questions or observations about the UU being "accepting" or "open" to the LGBTQIA+ community, and though some may consider it as simply a matter of semantics, I would like to suggest a re-wording of the matter. From the moment I started attending a UU 8 years ago I realized that the congregation wasn't simply welcoming, or even affirming of the community. Being LGBTQIA+ is very much a part of our identity. And I don't mean we are all gender diverse or identify as sexually non-binary. I, am a straight male. What I mean is, people all along the spectrums make up a vital part of who we are and what we do. My congregation simply would not be itself without the many members who identify as LGBTQIA+. We don't just set out an extra chair for those in the "community." The "community" owns the chairs right along with the rest of us.

Just curious, since Unitarian Universalists are very accepting of people within the LGBTQ community, is there anyone here who identifies as such?

I'm a bisexual, married male. I'm 37 now, but I've known this since I was in my teens. I came out to my wife not too long ago. She has been very accepting of me.

Hello all. Peace and love! You know, I have such a hard time fitting in.

I consider myself a Humanist. However, I don't know what I believe in theological terms. You could probably call me a nonreligious agnostic, in the sense of I don't worship a god, pray or believe in supernaturalism or anything like that. I don't know if there is a god, nor do I think it is possible to know. That said, until then, I don't really worry about it. I guess you could also call me a bit of an apatheist. I am also sometimes akin to a bit of spiritual or religious naturalism.

But, I am much more interested in the human condition, which is why I'd consider myself a Humanist.

That said, as a Humanist, it really saddens me that so many people divide themselves up into camps essentially. You got Secular Humanists (some but not all) who basically seem to be against religion, and want to change others minds and beliefs, evangelical, Nationalist Christians who are hell bent on making everyone conform to their way of thinking, and everything else in between.

Unitarian Univeralists seem to be the only group that are interested in embracing everybody, believer, non-believer, religious, non-religious, and everybody in between.

That said, how exactly does someone who is a UU and/UU Humanist feel about such things?

Any thoughts?

I went to my first sermon, because I’m coming out of a very depressive/anxiety episode and trying to heal and meet new friends. It was the best thing I’ve done in a while. We talked about the Bodhi tree.

What UU philosophies/wisdom has helped you the most?

Hello, is this subreddit for unitarian Christians or monotheists in general?

And if this is for Christians my second question is do you believe in the second coming of Jesus?

Is there a Pagan UU Subreddit? I guess I’m not searching right.

UPDATE: I attended the zoom broadcast of a local UU congregation this morning. I cried the whole time for some reason. But it felt very comforting. The sermon seemed like it was speaking to me directly. They asked if anyone had joys or sorrows to share, and I got to submit via chat and it was read out loud. I'm not brave enough to attend in person quite yet but am planning to attend virtually for the next few weeks until I feel brave enough to go in person.

I'm very glad I went. Thank you all for the encouragement, it means a lot. This feels like a big step forward in my life.

---

Throwaway because this feels extremely vulnerable.

I'm going through a lot right now in life and finding it to be very overwhelming. I've never been religious - grew up vaguely catholic in title only as we never attended a church. Called myself an atheist through my 20s, in part because I saw no evidence of anything spiritual, and in part because I started seeing the hate that religion can bring to this world and started despising it. My parents began attending a christian church during this time and getting very involved, and it honestly turned them into awful hateful people. They suddenly started loving calling out people whom they thought were "going to hell" for their behaviors, and it caused a huge rift between us, and between me and religion as the culprit for their newfound hate.

I'm 36 now and I just feel so empty. I need something. I now consider myself agnostic - like I desperately hope there is something more to this world than the atoms that its composed of, even if I'm doubtful. I also stopped drinking/smoking weed in this last year to improve my health, and have no social circle left and no idea how to socialize in a setting that isn't a bar. I'm looking for a community first and maybe some strengthening of the very fragile faith that barely exists in my life currently.

I saw a tiktok about unitarian universalism at a very low moment recently, and I'm wondering if this would be a good move for me. Would I be accepted as an agnostic person? Does the church allow room for doubts and free thinking? How do I even get started?

Thanks for any replies in advance.

I want to be in a religious community where belief in multiple gods is common, not just one four person clique in a mostly Christian or mostly atheist church. Du such congregations exists?

I’m looking to expand my friendship connections and am trying to heal my mental health and become a better person. My values are aligned with what I’ve read about UU.

Is a church a good way to make friends and become a “better” person?

I recently moved to the Twin Cities and I'm in the process of visiting various churches to fit the right fit. I've attended on for about a month which I really enjoyed, but my partner didn't. This past Sunday we visited another, which is a UU church. I'm finding a hard time fitting into the UU church with my beliefs, but I'm not sure where I fit in. I guess I would consider myself a Christian Unitarian(?) because of my belief in God and Jesus Christ. I am drawn to some progressive and liberal nondenominational Christian churches because of the biblical teaching and sermons, however, I don't believe all the tenants of Christianity. I don't believe in the Triune God, that Jesus rose from the dead, was born by the Holy Spirit, but I do enjoy reading and following a life like that of Christ. Maybe I am not unique in these beliefs, and maybe some people that attend Christian congregations also have similar beliefs and doubts. I couldn't call myself a true Christian because of this, and I guess I feel like a fraud if I subscribe to a faith that doesn't accurately speak what I know to be true.

I have viewed several sermons online from other UU churches, but still intend on visiting in person for the full experience. If you attend a UU congregation, is the topic of God ever discussed/mentioned? This is something I am seeking in a UU congregation, but I'm not sure it exists. It is important to me that a church focuses heavily on community care and social justice work, and I love that these topics are discussed heavily, but I know that what I am seeking is more faith based worship. The topics and sermons discussed in "worship" don't really promote spiritual growth in the way I want it to, and I think I'm struggling with that. I'm curious if anyone else feels this too within a UU church or other? How do you reconcile these thoughts and feelings?

So how do you deal with a person who actively votes for racism and against LGBT rights? This person is extremely intelligent and has advanced college degrees. They are aware of racism, financial disparities, etc. This isn't a matter of ignorance. They strongly believe the exact opposite of what I believe. They're also a family member. Once upon a time a close family member. Another family member I have gone no-contact with, but I love this family member dearly and would genuinely miss them. Any advice?

Looking to utilize PayPal or another service to set up a donation space on our website and in person to encourage people to give. Positives, Negatives, better service than PayPal? (It’s just the one I’m familiar with)

not quite uu q&a since unity isn't uu, but thought i'd ask since they're pretty similar to uu, they're both liberal theologies that are significantly abrahamic yet somehow they're chill about worshipping other gods. uu is great too but i prefer unity services bcoz spirituality is more center stage but i dont live near a unity church so im looking for an online unity.

I am terrified of the coming year.

So it's time to review what my beliefs actually are. Maybe find some solid ground.

I believe in bodily autonomy. You cannot separate yourself from your physical body so you have the right to say what happens to it. Is that realistic and practical? Not really, but as much as possible, people should have control over what happens to their body.

I believe that we are part of the Earth, not separate from it. We are chemical processes with the illusion of consciousness. While we may be able to become a space-faring species, we are still inherently part of this planet like a blade of grass or drops of water in the ocean.

I believe there is something in the Universe that creates and destroys. I believe it has no special interest in humans any more or less than ants. We are all the same to whatever it is. I believe that it is not something comprehensible to my puny little brain and that prayers and supplications have no effect on it. But it is out there and we might as well ask.

I believe that people form their beliefs from their experiences. Each person has unique and individual experiences, so each person has unique and individual beliefs. This is important because we need to give each other the grace to understand that my beliefs may contradict your beliefs. They are natural outcomes of our lived experiences. Both are valid. Neither is fact.

I believe that every religious tradition has truth in it. I believe that no single religious tradition has a monopoly on the truth. If a particular religion aligns with your core beliefs and gives you whatever you seek from religion, then that one is the right one for you. But you do not get to impose your religion on other people who have their own experiences, beliefs, and needs.

I believe that we need to be kinder to each other and allow each other the space to breath and be. That applies to your best friend, your relatives, the customer service rep on the phone, the stranger, the immigrant, and whoever feels alien to you, particularly if it's your own child.

HOWEVER, I also strongly believe that you have the right to walk away from people who consistently cause you pain or grief - as well as people you consistently inflict pain and grief upon. It is best to try to find understanding and common ground, but sometimes it isn't possible. In those cases it's important to try and maintain connection. But if you cannot without significant pain and distress, you have the right to walk away.

I believe that a good soldier looks after themselves first - but then helps others as best they can.

I believe that if you are not harming anyone - including yourself - then you can do whatever you want.

I believe that whatever happens between consenting adults is their business. Celebrate with them or leave them alone.

I believe that you never step in the same river twice - the environment is always changing, but also so are you.

I believe that every action has ripples you never see.

I believe when you feel self-righteous, you are generally wrong and need to examine that.

I believe that lying, stealing, and murder are fundamentally wrong, but that each situation is nuanced and in some cases lying, stealing, and murder are justifiable. Lying to protect someone from harm, stealing to feed your starving family, killing to prevent more killing from happening, etc.

I believe that most people are good and doing the best they can based on their needs, beliefs, and experiences.

I believe each of us is the fountain of life and we allow each other to see the light when we show the light that is eternal within us.

I believe there is no afterlife. Once the brain activity stops, the person no longer exists.

I believe that I can be wrong on any and all of this. I'm definitely wrong on some of it, but I don't know which parts.

Note: " Unitarism the spirit of the devil the antichrist! -- and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time. They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

Bible: Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son. Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

Bible: Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

Bible: For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist"

(how to respond?)

Hi, I’m a 19 year old girl in college looking for guidance and just something to look to in life. I am baptized catholic but never really practiced growing up nor followed their beliefs. I am a very liberal and progressive person and I want to follow a religion who has those same beliefs. Through some research I’ve come across Unitarian, I’m interested in learning and possibly becoming a religious person (I don’t know how to word it). Any tips, things to look at, resources, or guidance?

What are some good and acceptable ways to fund a UU Fellowship? Several of the Fellowships near our location (East Texas) struggle with funding. Most lack funding due to attrition and an aging membership that is limited to fixed incomes. Ours had reached a tipping point where expenses were greater than revenue, until older members who had moved away agreed to lend support for a season, effectively giving the fellowship a needed shot in the arm. The current economy also is an issue, rising utilities and the shrinking given dollar, as well as inflation shrinking what people have to give are all factors. Do you have any creative ideas or suggestions?

Does your UU have a book table / room or other area that sells books? Does it have a lending library? We are new to UU and are exploring ways to help our Fellowship with the talents we have. Do you have a favorite UU related book, or book that you feel is important to UU issues and concerns?

I am so grateful for my Congregation. Everything seems so bleak right now, but I am truly excited to choose to go on Sundays. Even stay for coffee hour. Participating in groups. Helping other people. Donating my time and money. Having a group of likeminded people where I can just be myself and be around people who also want the betterment of the world and rights for all people. Like holy moly. I just don’t understand how people aren’t attracted to this kind of openness, love, understanding, and thought provoking way to live.

This place has truly inspired me to be a better person and make thoughts and words actions.

Rev. Andrew Brown, minister at Cambridge (UK) Unitarian, has been translating Norbert Čapek, founder of the Czech Unitarian church, and close friend of Tomas Mazaryk, first president of Czechoslovakia. This was written in 1925 as both the country and the church were being organized.

This is a bit of UU history, and a statement of principles still relevant.

https://andrewjbrown.blogspot.com/2024/12/let-us-fully-think-through-our.html

I was thinking people could have general posts about books, articles, or short stories they've read and how they relate to their spiritual journey.

However, my main goal would be to have a "Big Read" of sorts on a quarterly basis. Mods would take turns choosing a book, everyone who's interested would read it, and then we'd have a virtual book club. We could discuss it in typical threads, but we could also schedule live chats either on Reddit or possibly on Discord.

I'd of course be willing to mod, but I would need a few others to volunteer to do so, as well. I've included a poll to gauge interest, but I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Edit: Ugh, I can't believe I missed that typo in the title. Reddit needs to let us edit titles!

View Poll

Our UU always hosts Christmas Eve service at a gorgeous chapel and the city’s non-Catholic christians usually attend, regardless if they’re UU. Last year, the Powers That Be decided to hold it on 23rd instead of 24th. We all thought it could be due to day of the week but they just announced they’ll be doing it again so that people can spend Eve with their family.

It feels so disrespectful. Our congregation has a history of diminishing and vilifying christian aspects of faith while uplifting pagan, jewish, and buddhist philosophies. They do a solstice event carefully planned for the date and hour but won’t do Christmas Eve on Christmas Eve.

I don’t know if an angry letter to the Board will do anything, and I’m not well connected enough to rally signatures, so I don’t know if there’s anything to do but it’s my last straw with this “church”. Not very democratic or accepting/encouraging spiritual growth IMO.

For the record, I grew up UU. Loved OWL and the multi-faith Religious Ed curriculum. But the adult part sucks so I’ll be switching to UCC for services.

I’ve been interested in Unitarian Universalist for several years as it seems way more open minded to free thinkers and ideas than pretty much all religions.

The only thing stopping me from attending is it seems this religion is extremely left leaning activist.

I’m 110% for ACTUAL equality. Where skin color, gender, religion, or political belief shouldnt matter. What SHOULD matter is a persons character and skillset. This shouldnt even be controversial as it should stand to reason the best qualified person should get the job. No ones looked for a plumber or a doctor based on their skin color. They look for the more qualified doctor or plumber. Thats my belief.

It seems like this religion wouldnt be open minded to such an idea and mislabel it as “racist”. I think it’s more racist to assume blacks cant do things without making it easier for them. I think it’s more racist to make things harder for me cuz Im white.

I’m looking for a religion where I’m welcome not shunned because i believe in TRUE equality rather than EQUITY. How pressing of an issue is this in these “churches”? I dont plan on ever bringing political topics, but fear that Id be walking into a propaganda session where white people are brainwashed into thinking they’re inherently evil and blacks are oppressed.

I really just want a religion where I can be around good morally sound people who are intellectual. Where we can freely speak about regions beliefs and pray together. I’m not about the racial activism. If we’re going to protest corporate America,…sure I’m with ya….fight for workers rights, legalize weed, or any number of social issues fine….but I’m not willing to go to a church to be told I’m inherently racist just for existing.

Is this a critical part of the religion or am I just looking into it to much?

i just made a very beautifully illustrated and informative book about the basics and fundamentals of spirituality for children to read. I would love to share it with ppl in here to read and even read to their children. Let me know your thoughts.

Link: https://heyzine.com/flip-book/44ab6b7670.html

Good evening,

I'm a college student who is highly interested in continuing my education into seminary school surrounding early Christian theology and the divinity within faith-based service. With this in mind, I am thinking of pursuing a master's in divinity, and I'm thinking of the typical non-denominational seminaries and also Meadville Lombard in Chicago, but I am also very interested in Notre Dame due to my families' traditional past in Catholicism and its heavy scholarship opportunities for such a long program (3-years). Does anyone know if this university, despite its history as a Catholic university, would openly welcome and guide a Unitarian Universalist in faith-based social work within their M.Div program?

The seminary school is apparently non-denominational and they push for ecumenism, and I don't mind learning about Christianity from a triune field of thought as long as its authentic and values each individual's personal covenant with God.

Thank y'all!!

I haven’t been able to join the church yet, as the “parish” (if that’s the right word) in my area hasn’t responded to my email yet, but I’m hoping someone here would have knowledge of texts that provide deeper insight into acquiring a higher level of patience, reserve, and tolerance of others’ behavior. I tend to be irritable by some people I’m close to, who aren’t very considerate in how they speak to people, but I mask it well. Specifically interested in Buddhism and Hinduism but any chapters/verses of any texts on this topic will do. Any other scripture you feel is imperative in a journey to hone virtuous tendencies or resilience/perseverance during hardship would very welcome as well. Bless you 🙏

I am planning a welcome bag for our many first time visitors at my local UU congregation. If you are a member of a UU congregation, does your church give out any kind of 'welcome bag' or any sort? If so, what does it contain. If you are visiting a congregation and received such a bad, what was it like? Was there anything you particularly liked or disliked about the contents and the gesture?

I am loathe to give up my membership to a small struggling church but it's not feeding me spiritually anymore. I think it only has 2-3 years left before closing its doors.

I have been attending a different church and enjoy it, and they are having a big vote soon about a potential settled minister I would like to be part of.

Can I in good conscious be a member of both? Especially interested in any minister or UU professional viewpoints but all opinions welcome.

I would definitely keep the bulk pledging at the smaller church as they really need it and the other is very solidly in the black. Or i could wait to join the new church and switch the full pledge at that point.

Today I finally went to my first service online with CLF. I enjoyed it and was kinda wanting to talk to other members. But I can't seem to find any online groups on places like discord , WhatsApp , telegram , etc for UUS. Anyone have any links ? Was thinking of going to my local UU about an hour away but from what I can see from their recorded services the congregation were pretty much older people. I'm 34 and was hoping to find people in my age range to talk to a bit more while I get to know the religion.

I am spiritual though not religious and I haven’t been to a church since I was a kid so I don’t really know the proper etiquette to attending a first service.
Through the website of the church I am looking at, I filled out a “new member visitor request card” but didn’t receive any response back(it’s been a couple weeks). I feel like if I keep waiting I’ll just end up not going but I really want to see what they are all about. So, TL:DR is it weird to attend a service for the first time without any correspondence from the church?

And Daowu says of this need to act, that it comes not through an interpretation of the image of the interdependent web, not through reading the Wealth of Nations, not through solid Marxist analysis, not through righteousness of any sort, certainly not righteous anger, a dreadful seducer beckoning us to a confusion of ends and means: but rather like someone turning in her sleep and reaching a hand behind her head to adjust her pillow.

Just this. Ends and means, one thing. Our interdependence and you and I, one thing.

It becomes our broken song. It acknowledges fully and without hesitation the cracks in everything. It remembers the call to Thanksgiving and Humiliation. It recalls the horrors of days. And endless failures. And it sees something else. Joys small and great. Beauty. Loves, small and great. In the very same place. At the very same time. Found as we loosen the death grip of our knowing and slip into the mysteries of not knowing.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/monkeymind/2023/11/a-zen-meditation-on-our-american-thanksgiving.html

Rev. James Ford, UU minister and Zen teacher

I've been a Unitarian Universalist for 25 years. When I found this faith, the church I joined had a wide variety of both religious and political perspectives, all of which were treated with curiosity and respect. There were lots of services for many different faiths, giving us a chance to explore different belief systems and experience wide varieties of religious services. There was representation across the spectrum for political beliefs, and there were great (and respectful) conversations about the ideas valued on all sides.

15 years ago I moved to a new town, and joined the local UU church. As I've become more involved and gotten to know the congregation more, I've found that there is less and less tolerance for anyone who doesn't align far-left on the political spectrum, and for anyone who has spiritual interests beyond humanism or kindness. This political season has been brutal. Our congregation has been all but a mouthpiece for the extreme-left, and when I brought up as much to our minister, he said that perhaps I didn't realize that I had joined a "liberal faith" and that this was probably why I felt unwelcome, and that I should consider if this was really the right place for me. He's been a UU minister for about 4 years (2 with us), and as I understand it, this is the new party line that graduating ministers are expected to carry. His belief is that UUism and the UUA in particular are fundamentally left and focused more on social justice rather than spirituality. He (and many in the church) don't seem to care about the fact that we've lost good people because they've been made to feel uncomfortable and there are more of us who are debating leaving for somewhere more tolerant.

I've done some reading online, and it's clear that there are still those who hold to the bipartisan curiosity and valuing of diversity of perspective. I'm very interested finding other UUs who aren't as exclusively-left-aligned as what's being broadcast these days. I've heard there are online groups that aim to keep our organization more bipartisan and diverse. Has anyone heard of any groups like this? Or have things changed to the point where there really isn't tolerance now for anyone who's not aligned with the extreme left?

I'm new and trying to decide upon a UU church. There are 2 near me. One is quite large and has two services each week and many "extra-curriculars". The other is smaller (a bit further) but I feel little more welcomed. The large church has two alternating ministers, one who hasn't really captured me, the other who I thought was great. I really like the small church minister, but on 1 to 1 she was kind of awkward. I just can't decide! Help direct me - I'm looking for deeper connections and conversations about our spirituality. I'm looking to be more involved in my community. What would you notice/look for that helps me make that decision.

Do any of you listen to UU podcast? If so which one or ones do you enjoy the most. As an FYI I am new.

So is this possible? I'm a Humanist and atheist/Spiritual Naturalist. I like Humanist ideals a lot.

The only problem is there are many Anti-Theists I feel among the Humanist ranks. I feel like in many ways, my belief in acceptance towards all others doesn't match with a lot of "Secular Humanist" notions.

There aren't many UU Churches near me, and the one I attended awhile back was just kind of meh.

I am sure there are plenty of threads like this but I felt I wanted to put my voice out there.

My background was what I would call "lazy Christian". My parents used the church for daycare back in the 70's, but I really don't remember it being a big deal for us.

When I was in boot camp, the option was given to go to service on Sunday and I choose Catholic because the option of being agnostic was, basically, punished. Couldn't put atheist on dog tags, it was Non-Denominational.

My wife and I got married in a church with a Christian minister, mainly for our families expectations and comfort. I don't even mind attending services for events with family, but we aren't a Christian household, but more secular humanists.

Now here we are, in 2024, and everything seems to be against us. We have white knuckled our way in raising 2 kids to adulthood, one gay and the other trans. It's been a struggle, but without my wife doing ALL the lifting (I have a 4 hr daily commute), we would not be a happy family.

My wife suggested that we needed to "create a community" to help carry burdens and give us the opportunity to shoulder others burdens. I said "great... Church". She comes from a Southern Baptist background but also now a secular humanists. She then showed me information about the UU fellowship near us, reminding me that we met a group of UU members when we were at the DC trans rights march. (They were really nice and not at all what I expected).

So, we watched a live stream of our local service and were commenting about everything we saw to find where we would feel that it wasn't for us. From the music (Natalie Merchant, Simon & Garfunkel, joen Lennon), to the message (Native poet(s) and being thankful), to not seeing a single symbol of religion (mainly looking for Christian symbols), to the words used (never heard God or Jesus, except from the congregation a couple of times).

I woke up this morning being thankful that, even though we haven't been yet, we may have found a community that we could be accepted in and find a way to give back and be part of.

I am actually excited to go to service (fellowship? I need to learn the words to use) on Sunday.

Tldr: new member and excited to (maybe) find a community after a lifetime on our own.

What should I expect and do they have a dress code? I was raised Baptist so that's all I'm really familiar with.

I have been a UU for 8+ years and I cherish my community. I volunteer my time and resources gladly, but without pressure to do so. I cannot imagine the shape my mental health would be in were it not for my congregation. It has been wonderful seeing many share their experiences with the UU on this subreddit. One common element among these posts has been people saying that it was common to shed tears during or after services. Often they say nothing more than "I cried." If you are such a person I am curious to hear what it was about your experience that moved you to tears. Share if you wish.

This is about my UU church in Wyoming, PA. I don't want to leave the church, but I don't know what to do. I've been UU for a long time I love the values and principles of UU. But we have a person here who is a problem.

There is so much fear and hate here. Its been going on for a couple years but gotten worse the last year and the last couple months. I even heard one of the pagans say "there's hate between the walls" but I haven't seen her anymore. Its one woman at the center of it. She used to be in the pagan group and I think they kicked her out. I don't blame them. She's hateful and toxic and abusive. I don't even know why she's still in the church.

She screams at people. She attacks people on Facebook publicly and behind their backs. She spreads lies and rumors. She makes up things just to use them to attack people. She twists things so she can get attention. She makes everything about her. Even her joys and concerns are just about her being seen not about the people they're about. Anyone she disagrees with gets treated like sh*t. She supports a spiritual leader who glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. (Seriously.) Everyone I've talked to is afraid of her and doesn't feel safe around her. Even most of the people that go to her house and hang out with her say they don't want to end up her victims. She makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Someone even said that some group she was in before kicked her out for the same things. Its difficult to believe anything she says.

She screamed at our last board president during Sunday service over plastic bags being cleaned up by minimum wage workers. It was really abusive and pretty stupid. Then she stalked out of the church and screamed at the people that went to talk to her. We could hear her from inside the church. Then she posted on her Facebook how proud she was of herself for standing up for minimum wage workers.

She spread a bunch of lies about our religious education director being transphobic and attacked her in a board meeting over it. It was all bullsh*t and everyone knows it. The RE director is one of the most caring people I know and is not transphobic. I heard she screamed at her in the middle of the board meeting for using a member's dead-name when it was actually a name they said they were okay with. The board decided to have sensitivity training. I think it was the right thing to do because education is always good. But they should have gotten rid of her after that. All she did was create a problem where there wasn't one just to make herself look good. She posted on her Facebook how proud she was of herself for "dealing with severe transphobia" and attacked the board for "rug-sweeping" even though it was all lies and made up bullsh*t. A couple of months later she attacked the board again for not getting the sensitivity training fast enough. I heard she was the one that was supposed to get it scheduled and just didn't. One of the board members got the training scheduled. She posted on her Facebook taking credit for it though. A lot of us saw it before it suddenly wasn't there anymore. Its disgusting still seeing her other Facebook posts knowing they're made up lies. She made a problem out of nothing and tried to make everyone see how she was the hero and "fixed" it. All she really did was throw a public fit over something she imagined then screamed at people about it.

The same board member recently resigned claiming mental health needs. I think she had something to do with him resigning. Everyone knows she doesn't like him and was looking for reasons to attack him. And he's one of the pagan leaders so of course she attacks him behind his back. Before he resigned he addressed the church and said he suffered a mental breakdown and apologized for not reaching out. He also said he broke a couple of people's trust and had apologized to them. I don't know what happened exactly but I heard about her screaming at someone, I think the leader of the pagan group, afterward even though I was told it had nothing to do with her. Him and the leader of the pagan group are married, I think. She obviously made it about herself again and used it to attack the leader of the pagan group again. And I'm sure there's a Facebook post about it which is probably lies. I just don't have the heart to look because her Facebook page makes me sick.

She accused a guy in the pagan group of sexu*lly *ssaulting her. No police were called and I heard they both said it was a misunderstanding. I've heard all kinds of things about it, but what I saw happen was he stopped coming to the church after that. I did hear someone tell her that if she needed more than just what our policy does, she needed to go to the police. But she keeps attacking the pagan group for some reason even though they have nothing to do with the policy and he stopped being around. The guy hasn't been near the church in over a year and a half.

I keep hearing a story about her posting something on the pagan group's Facebook page and the leader of the pagan group taking it down and her screaming at the leader of the pagan group and threatening her. Her own Facebook page says the post that got taken down was by a guy named Raven Kaldera. I Googled Raven Kaldera and he's a disgusting piece of sh*t. He's a sexual predator. He's been involved in multiple r*pes and sexu*l *ssaults of women and men. He's banned from a lot of pagan groups and places. So are a lot of people he associates with. Some incidents he's been involved in say he tells people that r*pe and sexu*l *ssault are something that makes people spiritually stronger. I didn't even have to look very hard. I'm disgusted that anyone in my church would accept someone like that as a spiritual leader. We accept all faiths, but faiths that accept and glorify r*pe and sexu*l *ssault shouldn't be allowed. I don't even know how our church would accept someone like that. I think the leader of the pagan group was right to take the post down. And if those are her religious beliefs, I don't know why she's even allowed in the church. I don't want my religious organization accepting someone that glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. And she still uses the incident to attack the leader of the pagan group on her Facebook page. Of course its only posts that people she wants can see and never the people they are about and doesn't use names, but we all know who she is talking about.

It makes me wonder about the accusation she made against the pagan guy though. She's lied and spread false rumors and twisted everything before. Her spiritual leader glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. I try to ignore rumors, but all of that make some of the things I've heard hard to ignore. Regardless of all of that, they still believed her and acted within our churches policy.

The posts she makes are her accusing the pagan group of protecting the guy she accused of sexual assault even though they have nothing to do with the policy and he hasn't come back since And if it was an accident what are they protecting him from? It looks like they took her post down because she was posting someone who endorses r*pe and sexu*l *ssault and she got angry and invented a reason to attack them. She's done it before. Protecting sexual predators seems to be okay when she does it. But she's not just protecting one, she's endorsing one. It seriously feels like a pig painting a horse pink then trying to shame it for being a pig.

I also learned that the local pagan shop won't do business with the pagan group because of her lies and rumor spreading. I did hear that the pagan shop won't do business with her anymore either though.

She is the membership committee chair and got some policy enacted where new members need to be approved by her. I don't know how that's possible, but it feels really wrong and I don't know why the board would allow it.

Her lies and manipulation has destroyed friendships and divided our community.

I don't know how to deal with someone like her. And I don't like that the board seems to just accept her abuse. I avoid her but she's destroying my community and I don't know what to do. The pagans seem like good people and the services they do are always powerful and spiritual. The pagans did so much for the church and they support so many causes, and now most of them don't show up anymore. They have been kind and accepting and caring. She has been manipulative and toxic and abusive. The leader of the pagan group was always there when people cried or needed support. She always came to service. She was there for people. She did the new year's service every year and it was really amazing. The pagan board member that resigned always sat in the back of the church and watched out for everyone. He threw a guy out of the church once when the guy started preaching to us how we were all going to hell. I have trauma around that and was going to leave, but he took care of it. I know he is a veteran and a cop and carries a gun. I never realized how safe it made me feel just having him there. I heard someone say he was the one who got the panic buttons and started our food pantry. And I use it sometimes. He does a beautiful service for Memorial Day. He doesn't show up anymore. It seems like most of the pagans don't show up anymore. There's a few, but not many. And she cries about there not being enough volunteers but with the pagans not around anymore there won't be. They did a lot.

I know there are things that I don't know. I know that some of this is just me guessing what is happening. I know there are things that probably happened that I don't know about. But all I is see her attacking people and screaming at people and being abusive. I see her making up things and lying and screaming about it to get attention. I never see any of the pagans doing any of that. Most of them don't even seem to want to be noticed for anything they do. She seems to want to create problems just to be noticed. I didn't even get most of this from the pagans. Some of it is on her own Facebook page when you read between the lines. I see good people who look out for us and do so much for the community leaving and her staying. And no one is doing anything about it. Our last president was a good guy but didn't do anything about her. The current president isn't around much and doesn't seem to care. I think because he's not around much he doesn't see any of her abuse. He seems kind of spineless and clueless. I want the board member who resigned back. I want the leader of the pagan group back. I feel safe with the pagans. I don't feel safe with her at all. And no one I asked does either. And the current church leadership isn't doing anything about it.

I admit I don't want to become another one of her victims, so I am not using my real profile. She will probably accuse one of the pagans for posting this and I don't want them to be attacked either. But something needs to be done about her. I've already written to the board and told them about this, but it still keeps happening. No one else seems to want to speak up and I know they all see it. I don't want to just leave the church but I don't know if I can stay in it knowing she's free to just abuse people.

Hi im very very new to UU and am trying to learn more about it. I agree with all the principles but the 7th, because I have know idea what it means...please help.

Hi! I'm not officially a member of UU but thought this could be a helpful community.

My fiancée and I are planning our wedding and I am looking for guidance so our friend/officiant can help us have a hand fasting ceremony that feels sacred but not "religious."

I am a (very very) lapsed/former Catholic who is no longer Christian but likes ritual and tradition. she did not grow up religious but is personally spiritual with an interest in some things pagan-adjacent. I would say that we are both spiritual in that we hold certain humanist-type views and find spiritual meaning and divinity in nature, human connection, tradition/ritual, and love.

Most "secular"/non religious ceremony scripts that I see are lacking in the sacredness I associate with weddings, and so many seem like genaric statements for people who avoid spiritual thinking all together. (Sometimes when I see peolle officiating their friends weddings, it sounds more like what you'd hear in a best man toast than at the altar)

I personally see a wedding as a deeply important ritual which is fundamentally changing both of our lives (outwardly and internally) and I am hoping to find some words/blessings that reflect that.

Like, how do I make this feel "holy" and/or incorporate "blessings" without mentions of a specific god? To incorporate things about the divine nature of love and unity and creating a new family?

Can anyone suggest some resources, blessings, scripts, etc?

To those who regularly attend UU services, a lot of this will sound familiar. I just wish to share my experience and also post it here for anyone considering.

I was raised southern Baptist spent years as an agnostic trying out different things like Wicca and Shintoism while I lived abroad, but feel most "at home" in some flavor of Abrahamism and converted to Islam a little over a year ago. I still consider myself a Muslim/Quranist, if not for the simple fact that it's a religious book that resonates greatly with me. People ask how do I reconcile my queer identity with having faith and I answer, "Just fine" because I do believe it is the people who take faith-based words and twist them to justify horrible things. But because of that it's obviously difficult to actually worship in community. Outside of sightseeing in foreign countries and a recent funeral, I haven't stepped foot in a church in nearly two decades. I've never stepped foot in a mosque, I'll just watch Friday prayers online. That changed a couple of weeks ago.

Months ago I searched for "lgbt congregation" or something similar and one of the first things that came up was Unitarian Universalism. I was shocked at the open mentions about LGBT acceptance and POC involvement on the website. Even with this, I put off going to my local branch (literally 10 minute drive away) for months. I was just too afraid that it might all be a lie, or lip service. Then I saw that they were having a TDOR service, and I took that as a sign to go. I'm so glad I did.

I've been going through a lot personally lately, a lot mentally. While I am of course working on my mental health medically, I feel the need for spiritual work as well. This was a healing experience. It felt familiar, but different. All the fixtures of a church were there, but this felt more welcoming. Going into the Christian church that the UU rents out, I was greeted with light filtering through rainbow curtains. There was a Pride Progress flag draped across a wooden wall hanging of a dove. (I was told later that these were there all the time, and that the Christian pastor who had arrived about five years prior had put them up.) I was greeted with a smile, a hello, an "assalamu alaikum" and offered to sign up for the newsletter and a to put my name and pronouns on a nametag. I noticed that recurring members had permanent nametags, all with names and pronouns on them.

The service started off with a native land acknowledgment, a prayer for transgender people who have lost their lives, a hymn, a sermon about how binaries lock us into viewing the world as "us vs. them" and how it lends to a cycle of hate and violence, testimonials from the congregation about their own trans relatives and how it helped them change how they see the world as well as their fears for their safety, a memorial reading of names (many from my area but also some famous cases from this year as well), money collection, another hymn, and finally a prayer for the hope of freedom of gender roles and expressions for all people including children, as well as safety, security, and community.

Not once was God or any particular entity mentioned. There was no talk of sin and punishment, only love, community, and striving for understanding and togetherness. Prayer was referred to as "prayer, meditation, or intentional reflection". I could tell the congregation were from multifaith backgrounds, some seemingly not necessarily believing in a particular being at all. There was just this shared idea that we are all in this universe together, so let's commune and try to set our spirits right to fight for what's right.

I was nearly brought to tears. Before and after the service so many people came up to talk to me. I'm young but clearly not a student at the local university and the majority of the congregation is 55+. People wanted to know how I even found out about the place and hear my story. I felt seen, I felt heard, I felt respected. I plan on going back.

And I have! The Thanksgiving sermon was a great message about service/self sacrifice, knowing yourself, and setting healthy boundaries. And since the congregations minister is a musician, it was a very musical sermon as well, which I was told happens the last Sunday of every month!

I imagine that of course every UU congregation is different. I'm just very glad I gave myself to chance to experience one.

We are a lay-led congregation. I am the worship coordinator for an upcoming service. The speaker has asked me to provide a couple of reading suggestions for her. I don't even know where to start. Her homily will focus on "Practicing Presence When You Disagree." She will refer to some Jewish sources, as well as work from Crucial Conversations, Non Violent Communication and the group Braver Angels as well as her own experience in being present with those who have a different viewpoint than her.

Where do I start? I have never picked out readings before.

When I looked up my local UU congregation on the main UU website, I was surprised that of the very few pieces of information available there, one was that the congregation is "LGBTQ Welcoming." Not affirming, just welcoming. This was tagged alongside other features that I imagine may vary by congregation - wheelchair accessibility, "honor congregation" status. I thought all UU congregations were LGBTQ welcoming, and this honestly makes me less likely to actually follow through on attending...any insight here? Which congregations are NOT welcoming, and how might one know, besides these listings?

Hello, all. First and foremost, I consider myself to be a Humanist. I believe in social justice, compassion and tolerance towards everyone. This is a conclusion I have come to ever since my deconstruction from Christianity/religion a year ago. I'm also bisexual, so this has played a part in my thought process, as I align quite a bit with LGBTQ rights and equality.

In terms of beliefs, my spectrum has been all over the place since I left my "religion." I'd consider myself somewhere in the realm of agnostic, atheist, and spiritual naturalist. The thing that resonates with me quite a bit is "Naturalistic" or Scientific Pantheism. I believe in a spiritual connection to nature. And when I say nature, I don't mean just like outdoors, lakes, birds, trees, etc, but also the natural order of things in the universe. I think everything in the universe is all interconnected. For me, this interconnection is "god," at least metaphorically speaking. This is fine for me personally. If someone believes in a literal deity god, this is also fine to me.

That said, I feel like there is so much hate everywhere. For example, I'm a member of a Pantheism group on FB. This group has strongly become pretty Anti-theist in their views. Even though I am not a fan of religion in certain senses, I still believe in tolerance and respecting others.

Even from other "Humanists," I get this feeling a lot. Particularly those with the "Secular Humanist," moniker. They speak down to others who are god believers or Christians, and even those who believe in anything supernatural or are sometimes anything other than an atheist. There was someone who spoke of how agnostics are wimpy and less because they aren't atheists. This was in a Secular Humanist group.

The amount of hate and intolerance from all sides of the spectrum is sickening to me. From Christians, atheists, god believers that aren't necessarily Christian, and anyone else. Can't we all just play nicely and get along? Ya know, some of that "Coexist" notion? I feel like my mind, despite being a "Humanist" is much more UU in philosophy, though I don't attend any kind of services or church, etc.

I feel like there should be more love and tolerance in the world, and less hate.

Hi! I have been interested in joining a religious community again. I enjoy Christianity and have read a little bit about UU but I would really like to be in a church where Jesus is believed to be God, part of the trinity you know? UU does not believe this in the doctrine right? I understand that UU is a very accepting of different beliefs but it would be hard for me to listen to sermons that teach such a big difference in beliefs. Please let me know your advice and if i should look into attending my local UU church

A friend told me I'd fit in to th UU community but, I'm lost and confused but intrigued. I believe in heaven and hell but I'm an LGBTQ ally. I HATED going to church and hearing some of my friends and family were "going to hell" for simply being who they are. But I'm also one who doesn't believe premarital sex is a sin nor is having a child out of wedlock. I am pro-choice and believe women should have control over their own bodies. I would like that go to church but not somewhere that says everything I mentioned, is a sin.

Is this really the right place for me??

I need to stop fearing that I could be going to hell for Not being a Muslim or a Christian.

I'll never be 100% sure of the truth even as I believe in God, whoever God is.

With that said, I should stop worrying. It's been hard for me.

Please be nice in the comments as I understand that this may sound like a silly post. But I'm sincerely looking for answers and feeling worried.

I want to get back to my life and Not waste it by worrying.

This will sound strange but yesterday, after a Muslim on Reddit prayed for me, I began to have faith that Allah is God and that there's only one aspect to God, not a trinity.

On the other hand, I've believed in Jesus for years and my prayers directed to Jesus have been answered.

With this said, my faith has been directed in two different areas at different times and I'm not sure how this is possible.

I hope that God will guide me to whichever religion I'm supposed to be a part of. I'm awaiting an answer from God to guide me to whichever religion I'm meant to be a part of.

I'm just wondering what people think about these two different answers to prayer happening from two different impressions of God.

I had to make a very difficult decision last week that has ended in sincere regret. This is something i cannot take back. i am riddled with grief and sadness and need strength. I truly thought i was making the right choice but now i see that i only did it out of fear. I have not been able to get this out of my head and hate myself so much. Please i am begging, i need prayers, i need forgiveness and healing.

My wife and I are planning on a relocation to Minnesota from Atlanta. We are UU’s and have a family with 3 little humans. We haven’t decided where just yet. Likely around the Minneapolis/St Paul area. Any recommendations on congregations with an active community in the area?

The teacher who urges doctrines subversive to existing authority does not, if he is a liberal, advocate the establishment of a new authority even more tyrannical than the old. He advocates certain limits to the exercise of authority, and he wishes these limits to be observed not only when the authority would support a creed with which he disagrees but also when it would support one with which he is in complete agreement. I am, for my part, a believer in democracy, but I do not like a regime which makes belief in democracy compulsory.

https://www.openculture.com/2024/11/bertrand-russells-10-commandments-for-living-in-a-healthy-democracy.html

r/Paganism

Hi im currently a Christian and im having dount in faith I mean today I accepted Jesus for the fidth time But I dont know anymore and Im scared everyone will judhe Me and ill go to hell but please someone help me, :C

I moved to New England from the deep south not long ago. I hadn't given Unitarians any thought, largely because it's not really a thing where I'm from and I've only heard of it in passing a handful of times. But I saw some social media posts from a local church since the election that have me curious. Largely because as an AFAB trans person who is mixed I am so angry right now, but want to... walk the line? Of feeling anger and turning that into motivation without letting it consume me.

I considered going to their service today, but ultimately chickened out. I was raised roman catholic, went to catholic school, church twice a week, the whole shebang and am wary to say the least about religion and especially organized religion. So I guess I'm asking for people's experience on joining, good and bad. And of course, anyone who was raised in a similar religious environment I am particularly interested to hear your thoughts. And what made you decide to check it out to begin with.

I have been considering making UU my spiritual home for a little while now, but have had some hesitations because there aren’t many younger people in the fellowship near me. I’m 32 (childless) and was hoping to meet people at a similar stage of life. Today’s service totally shifted my perspective. The message centered around the disappointment, sorrow, and fear we are experiencing post election, and I have never felt so safe and seen in a room full of elderly people. (I recognize this is my own bias due to being raised in a Republican family.) I am so enamored with UU’s commitment to inclusion and seeking justice for marginalized communities.

So while I’ve decided to join the fellowship, I’m also wondering, are there other UUs of my demographic? If so, I would love to connect with some of you all!

EDIT: Thank you all for your responses! It’s nice to know I’m not alone!

Ive grown up in the UU church and had more time this last summer to go to a few services and i heard that something like at least 40% of our congregation is athiest (including me!). I was wondering how UU reddit skews on this scale? I like the idea of just having community and being with the youth i grew up with there and hanging out with them we have said it doesnt feel like it should have to be called church at this point 😅

By that I mean a person who believes the Bible ( or the Protestant canon of Scripture) is infallible and that its beliefs or commands should be enforced on every one else.

I am interested to see if the “Biblical Unitarian” has been gaining some stronghold in UU congregations. I want to know if a trend towards social conservatism is also affecting the most liberal denomination of the Christian tradition ( notice I don’t say Christian denomination, since upon the merger of Unitarians and Universalists agreed on founding an universalistic and open-minded institution, open to all theistic and atheistic strands of thought that recognize the intrinsic worth of humankind)

"How Deep is Your Love" sermon (Youtube)

Relevant to the previous thread, here is a sermon by Rev. Randy Lewis of All Souls Unitarian in Tulsa OK about a UU minister who voted for Trump.

How are other UU congregations responding to the election? We had an ingathering Wednesday night where we shared our concerns, sang songs and did readings. The minister is also giving a sermon tomorrow about the state of the country.

It can be anything from sermons, statements, forums, special services, education....

I'm a long-time member of the UU Church of Medford MA - known for such luminaries as Lydia Maria Child - author, abolitionist, women’s rights advocate, and Indian policy reformer; abolitionist George Luther Stearns, one of the “Secret Six” who funded John Brown in his militant opposition to slavery, and Reverend Eugene Adams, who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in Selma.

I watched the election results in the First Parish Church in Concord MA - where once gathered the MA Provincial Congress, calling for Revolution.

My Fellow UUs, enough with the Peace & Love stuff. It's time again to GET ANGRY, and GET ACTIVE.

At this point whoever supports that felon supports sexism, racism, LGBTQIA+ phobia, anti-climate activities etc.-all of which are clearly against UU values. There's a clear difference in morality hence these folks shouldn't be allowed in UU. Many people from marginal communities are UU members and they aren't safe around those "anti-human rights activists".

I was told a very small minority of UUs voted for Trump, and I am really curious why? Trump and what he represents is so antithetical to our UU principles and values, I'm just so curious how someone can both be UU and support Trump.

So I am considering going to my first Unitarian church meeting. Went to one mindfulness group where we discussed some Buddhist literature and philosophies and found the speaker of the group to be heavily consumed with his own personal beliefs and feelings about coming to the present moment. My curiosity in the UU movement as a whole is based on the incorporation of many faiths and appreciation for the wide diversity of faiths throughout the world. Regular attendees: have you found that ministers generally reference or allude to symbology and/or metaphorical concepts present in many faiths during worship sermons? I’d like for my weekly attendance to be a place where I could grow in my understanding of the worlds religions/cultures as well as a place to connect with a spiritually inclined body of people.

https://wagingnonviolence.org/2024/11/10-things-to-do-if-trump-wins/

I'm a 22M law student who grew up UU as a kid. To be honest I hated going to church as a kid and have been an atheist all of my life. I haven't been to church in well over a decade. But looking back I've realized how many of the values that I hold important come from what I was taught growing up unitarian. I felt the compulsion to rejoin the community in light of the recent election disaster. I feel like I'm missing the sense of community and having people to talk to for moral guidance. Especially being in the first year of law school, the communities I'm in right now are severely lacking compassion and morality.

Any advice of how to get involved besides just going on Sundays? I will try to go a Sunday I have free, but I don't have much free time as a law student.

Philosophically I have felt aligned with UU values for most of my life. But I only started attending my local congregation a couple months ago. It checks many boxes for me: extremely warm and welcoming, full of the misfits and outcasts, generally liberal, doing work in the community, lots of small groups, doesn’t tell anyone what to believe.

However, I am a lover of faith, a nerd about faith, I love listening to religious podcasts by people of all sorts of religions and I can tell when people “get it”. I can frame my religious discussion using the terms of many systems and find the different perspectives nourishing.

The lovely UU minister gives nice messages, but much of the discussion is around the fact that we all have Big Questions. What I want to hear about are what people around me feel are their answers.

I want to know what you believe, what gives you life, what nourishes you. I thought a church would have more of this kind of discussion. It feels like everyone wants to skirt around being too concrete or personal about spiritual matters to avoid offending anyone.

Tell me your experience as a UU member. Do you feel like there is space for this in your general congregation or is this a small group thing only? I know you can’t speak for other congregations, but I’m curious what individuals here perceive to be the etiquette and vibe of their own congregation’s UU culture.

I very recently moved to Pittsburgh (alone and am trying to get a read on local churches.

UU’s are so welcoming that it I had no worries about trying out churches, meeting people, etc. Unfortunately the first minister I reached out to was not welcoming on multiple levels.

I don’t want to be gossipy but I do want to explain why I’m on edge about all this. The minister with whom I corresponded refused to see if anyone in her congregation would meet for coffee, saying that UUs were introverted. She said that unless I attend services in person then she wouldn’t think I am ready to receive community.

FWIW, my hesitation to attend services is based on not having transportation, being immunocompromised, and living with chronic severe pain.

I won’t go into the rest; I just wanted to explain my cold feet and see if any ministers here have more empathy.

Feel free to PM me if you have anything you don’t want to share publicly.