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Today — 22 December 2024Unitarian Universalist

Guidance

22 December 2024 at 14:15

Hi, I’m a 19 year old girl in college looking for guidance and just something to look to in life. I am baptized catholic but never really practiced growing up nor followed their beliefs. I am a very liberal and progressive person and I want to follow a religion who has those same beliefs. Through some research I’ve come across Unitarian, I’m interested in learning and possibly becoming a religious person (I don’t know how to word it). Any tips, things to look at, resources, or guidance?

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Before yesterdayUnitarian Universalist

Small UU Fellowship Funding.

20 December 2024 at 07:17

What are some good and acceptable ways to fund a UU Fellowship? Several of the Fellowships near our location (East Texas) struggle with funding. Most lack funding due to attrition and an aging membership that is limited to fixed incomes. Ours had reached a tipping point where expenses were greater than revenue, until older members who had moved away agreed to lend support for a season, effectively giving the fellowship a needed shot in the arm. The current economy also is an issue, rising utilities and the shrinking given dollar, as well as inflation shrinking what people have to give are all factors. Do you have any creative ideas or suggestions?

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UU Book Table

20 December 2024 at 07:03

Does your UU have a book table / room or other area that sells books? Does it have a lending library? We are new to UU and are exploring ways to help our Fellowship with the talents we have. Do you have a favorite UU related book, or book that you feel is important to UU issues and concerns?

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Grateful

19 December 2024 at 22:20

I am so grateful for my Congregation. Everything seems so bleak right now, but I am truly excited to choose to go on Sundays. Even stay for coffee hour. Participating in groups. Helping other people. Donating my time and money. Having a group of likeminded people where I can just be myself and be around people who also want the betterment of the world and rights for all people. Like holy moly. I just don’t understand how people aren’t attracted to this kind of openness, love, understanding, and thought provoking way to live.

This place has truly inspired me to be a better person and make thoughts and words actions.

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Unitarian Church of Harrisburg (PA)

19 December 2024 at 22:02
Unitarian Church of Harrisburg (PA)

Whether you connect better with the the ancient rituals of Winter Solstice, or the traditions around Christmas, the Unitarian Church of Harrisburg is a welcoming community for you, no matter who you are, where you come from, or who you love.

https://preview.redd.it/0inktvok5x7e1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29e4e86a48cfb1a6ca385ccd4347c8167a0aca5c

https://preview.redd.it/i6oktvok5x7e1.jpg?width=959&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27591e80433f3c254a38f2616c39ba3d8f69bb79

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Universalist History - The Junior Star

18 December 2024 at 10:30
Universalist History - The Junior Star

I found this on eBay entirely by accident and thought the community here might enjoy this piece of Universalist history.

Published in 1898, the book is basically a hymnal for a youth organization of the Universalist Church. Sort of a precursor to YRUU.

It is mostly songs but also includes readings and templates for induction and graduation services.

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Let Us Fully Think Through Our Liberation

11 December 2024 at 09:28

Rev. Andrew Brown, minister at Cambridge (UK) Unitarian, has been translating Norbert Čapek, founder of the Czech Unitarian church, and close friend of Tomas Mazaryk, first president of Czechoslovakia. This was written in 1925 as both the country and the church were being organized.

This is a bit of UU history, and a statement of principles still relevant.

https://andrewjbrown.blogspot.com/2024/12/let-us-fully-think-through-our.html

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Would anyone be interested in a subreddit for discussing books/other literaturefrom a UU perspective?

11 December 2024 at 07:35

I was thinking people could have general posts about books, articles, or short stories they've read and how they relate to their spiritual journey.

However, my main goal would be to have a "Big Read" of sorts on a quarterly basis. Mods would take turns choosing a book, everyone who's interested would read it, and then we'd have a virtual book club. We could discuss it in typical threads, but we could also schedule live chats either on Reddit or possibly on Discord.

I'd of course be willing to mod, but I would need a few others to volunteer to do so, as well. I've included a poll to gauge interest, but I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Edit: Ugh, I can't believe I missed that typo in the title. Reddit needs to let us edit titles!

View Poll

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Angry that our congregation moved Christmas Eve service

10 December 2024 at 18:50

Our UU always hosts Christmas Eve service at a gorgeous chapel and the city’s non-Catholic christians usually attend, regardless if they’re UU. Last year, the Powers That Be decided to hold it on 23rd instead of 24th. We all thought it could be due to day of the week but they just announced they’ll be doing it again so that people can spend Eve with their family.

It feels so disrespectful. Our congregation has a history of diminishing and vilifying christian aspects of faith while uplifting pagan, jewish, and buddhist philosophies. They do a solstice event carefully planned for the date and hour but won’t do Christmas Eve on Christmas Eve.

I don’t know if an angry letter to the Board will do anything, and I’m not well connected enough to rally signatures, so I don’t know if there’s anything to do but it’s my last straw with this “church”. Not very democratic or accepting/encouraging spiritual growth IMO.

For the record, I grew up UU. Loved OWL and the multi-faith Religious Ed curriculum. But the adult part sucks so I’ll be switching to UCC for services.

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How radical is the “activist” side of this religion?

I’ve been interested in Unitarian Universalist for several years as it seems way more open minded to free thinkers and ideas than pretty much all religions.

The only thing stopping me from attending is it seems this religion is extremely left leaning activist.

I’m 110% for ACTUAL equality. Where skin color, gender, religion, or political belief shouldnt matter. What SHOULD matter is a persons character and skillset. This shouldnt even be controversial as it should stand to reason the best qualified person should get the job. No ones looked for a plumber or a doctor based on their skin color. They look for the more qualified doctor or plumber. Thats my belief.

It seems like this religion wouldnt be open minded to such an idea and mislabel it as “racist”. I think it’s more racist to assume blacks cant do things without making it easier for them. I think it’s more racist to make things harder for me cuz Im white.

I’m looking for a religion where I’m welcome not shunned because i believe in TRUE equality rather than EQUITY. How pressing of an issue is this in these “churches”? I dont plan on ever bringing political topics, but fear that Id be walking into a propaganda session where white people are brainwashed into thinking they’re inherently evil and blacks are oppressed.

I really just want a religion where I can be around good morally sound people who are intellectual. Where we can freely speak about regions beliefs and pray together. I’m not about the racial activism. If we’re going to protest corporate America,…sure I’m with ya….fight for workers rights, legalize weed, or any number of social issues fine….but I’m not willing to go to a church to be told I’m inherently racist just for existing.

Is this a critical part of the religion or am I just looking into it to much?

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New Children’s Book! 📖

10 December 2024 at 13:28

i just made a very beautifully illustrated and informative book about the basics and fundamentals of spirituality for children to read. I would love to share it with ppl in here to read and even read to their children. Let me know your thoughts.

Link: https://heyzine.com/flip-book/44ab6b7670.html

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Tips on Possible Seminary Schools

9 December 2024 at 20:52

Good evening,

I'm a college student who is highly interested in continuing my education into seminary school surrounding early Christian theology and the divinity within faith-based service. With this in mind, I am thinking of pursuing a master's in divinity, and I'm thinking of the typical non-denominational seminaries and also Meadville Lombard in Chicago, but I am also very interested in Notre Dame due to my families' traditional past in Catholicism and its heavy scholarship opportunities for such a long program (3-years). Does anyone know if this university, despite its history as a Catholic university, would openly welcome and guide a Unitarian Universalist in faith-based social work within their M.Div program?

The seminary school is apparently non-denominational and they push for ecumenism, and I don't mind learning about Christianity from a triune field of thought as long as its authentic and values each individual's personal covenant with God.

Thank y'all!!

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Request for resources

I haven’t been able to join the church yet, as the “parish” (if that’s the right word) in my area hasn’t responded to my email yet, but I’m hoping someone here would have knowledge of texts that provide deeper insight into acquiring a higher level of patience, reserve, and tolerance of others’ behavior. I tend to be irritable by some people I’m close to, who aren’t very considerate in how they speak to people, but I mask it well. Specifically interested in Buddhism and Hinduism but any chapters/verses of any texts on this topic will do. Any other scripture you feel is imperative in a journey to hone virtuous tendencies or resilience/perseverance during hardship would very welcome as well. Bless you 🙏

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A Practical Question about Visitor Bags

5 December 2024 at 14:11

I am planning a welcome bag for our many first time visitors at my local UU congregation. If you are a member of a UU congregation, does your church give out any kind of 'welcome bag' or any sort? If so, what does it contain. If you are visiting a congregation and received such a bad, what was it like? Was there anything you particularly liked or disliked about the contents and the gesture?

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Seeking feedback about an art concept

4 December 2024 at 22:25
Seeking feedback about an art concept

Hi folks!

I’m a long time agnostic who’s recently been reading Jordan Peterson’s book “We who wrestle with god” and become bible-curious. But I’m literally SO uncomfortable with admitting it in front of people. It feels naughty to me due to personal trauma and family association, opiate of the masses etc etc.

But I found myself ordering multiple versions of the bible recently so I can start reading and compare and thought it was funny enough to design this sticker which is a play on the term “Bi-curious” which usually means sexually curious about being involved with masculine & feminine genders but in my case, it’s a joke about being “Bible-curious”.

I’m wondering if enough people can get the joke and see the humor when they view this image before I consider ordering it as a set of custom stickers. Please let me know your thoughts and opinions. Thank you! 🙏🏽😊

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Can I be a member of two churches?

3 December 2024 at 14:37

I am loathe to give up my membership to a small struggling church but it's not feeding me spiritually anymore. I think it only has 2-3 years left before closing its doors.

I have been attending a different church and enjoy it, and they are having a big vote soon about a potential settled minister I would like to be part of.

Can I in good conscious be a member of both? Especially interested in any minister or UU professional viewpoints but all opinions welcome.

I would definitely keep the bulk pledging at the smaller church as they really need it and the other is very solidly in the black. Or i could wait to join the new church and switch the full pledge at that point.

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Online Communities

2 December 2024 at 00:24

Today I finally went to my first service online with CLF. I enjoyed it and was kinda wanting to talk to other members. But I can't seem to find any online groups on places like discord , WhatsApp , telegram , etc for UUS. Anyone have any links ? Was thinking of going to my local UU about an hour away but from what I can see from their recorded services the congregation were pretty much older people. I'm 34 and was hoping to find people in my age range to talk to a bit more while I get to know the religion.

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Is it okay to attend a Sunday service for the first time without contacting the church?

I am spiritual though not religious and I haven’t been to a church since I was a kid so I don’t really know the proper etiquette to attending a first service.
Through the website of the church I am looking at, I filled out a “new member visitor request card” but didn’t receive any response back(it’s been a couple weeks). I feel like if I keep waiting I’ll just end up not going but I really want to see what they are all about. So, TL:DR is it weird to attend a service for the first time without any correspondence from the church?

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A Zen Meditation on our American Thanksgiving

1 December 2024 at 09:18

And Daowu says of this need to act, that it comes not through an interpretation of the image of the interdependent web, not through reading the Wealth of Nations, not through solid Marxist analysis, not through righteousness of any sort, certainly not righteous anger, a dreadful seducer beckoning us to a confusion of ends and means: but rather like someone turning in her sleep and reaching a hand behind her head to adjust her pillow.

Just this. Ends and means, one thing. Our interdependence and you and I, one thing.

It becomes our broken song. It acknowledges fully and without hesitation the cracks in everything. It remembers the call to Thanksgiving and Humiliation. It recalls the horrors of days. And endless failures. And it sees something else. Joys small and great. Beauty. Loves, small and great. In the very same place. At the very same time. Found as we loosen the death grip of our knowing and slip into the mysteries of not knowing.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/monkeymind/2023/11/a-zen-meditation-on-our-american-thanksgiving.html

Rev. James Ford, UU minister and Zen teacher

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Looking for centrist, conservative, or libertarian groups/resources for UUs

30 November 2024 at 14:47

I've been a Unitarian Universalist for 25 years. When I found this faith, the church I joined had a wide variety of both religious and political perspectives, all of which were treated with curiosity and respect. There were lots of services for many different faiths, giving us a chance to explore different belief systems and experience wide varieties of religious services. There was representation across the spectrum for political beliefs, and there were great (and respectful) conversations about the ideas valued on all sides.

15 years ago I moved to a new town, and joined the local UU church. As I've become more involved and gotten to know the congregation more, I've found that there is less and less tolerance for anyone who doesn't align far-left on the political spectrum, and for anyone who has spiritual interests beyond humanism or kindness. This political season has been brutal. Our congregation has been all but a mouthpiece for the extreme-left, and when I brought up as much to our minister, he said that perhaps I didn't realize that I had joined a "liberal faith" and that this was probably why I felt unwelcome, and that I should consider if this was really the right place for me. He's been a UU minister for about 4 years (2 with us), and as I understand it, this is the new party line that graduating ministers are expected to carry. His belief is that UUism and the UUA in particular are fundamentally left and focused more on social justice rather than spirituality. He (and many in the church) don't seem to care about the fact that we've lost good people because they've been made to feel uncomfortable and there are more of us who are debating leaving for somewhere more tolerant.

I've done some reading online, and it's clear that there are still those who hold to the bipartisan curiosity and valuing of diversity of perspective. I'm very interested finding other UUs who aren't as exclusively-left-aligned as what's being broadcast these days. I've heard there are online groups that aim to keep our organization more bipartisan and diverse. Has anyone heard of any groups like this? Or have things changed to the point where there really isn't tolerance now for anyone who's not aligned with the extreme left?

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Deciding upon a church

I'm new and trying to decide upon a UU church. There are 2 near me. One is quite large and has two services each week and many "extra-curriculars". The other is smaller (a bit further) but I feel little more welcomed. The large church has two alternating ministers, one who hasn't really captured me, the other who I thought was great. I really like the small church minister, but on 1 to 1 she was kind of awkward. I just can't decide! Help direct me - I'm looking for deeper connections and conversations about our spirituality. I'm looking to be more involved in my community. What would you notice/look for that helps me make that decision.

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UU podcast?

Do any of you listen to UU podcast? If so which one or ones do you enjoy the most. As an FYI I am new.

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Unitarian Universalist without attending services?

28 November 2024 at 17:41

So is this possible? I'm a Humanist and atheist/Spiritual Naturalist. I like Humanist ideals a lot.

The only problem is there are many Anti-Theists I feel among the Humanist ranks. I feel like in many ways, my belief in acceptance towards all others doesn't match with a lot of "Secular Humanist" notions.

There aren't many UU Churches near me, and the one I attended awhile back was just kind of meh.

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Going to my first service

28 November 2024 at 10:22

I am sure there are plenty of threads like this but I felt I wanted to put my voice out there.

My background was what I would call "lazy Christian". My parents used the church for daycare back in the 70's, but I really don't remember it being a big deal for us.

When I was in boot camp, the option was given to go to service on Sunday and I choose Catholic because the option of being agnostic was, basically, punished. Couldn't put atheist on dog tags, it was Non-Denominational.

My wife and I got married in a church with a Christian minister, mainly for our families expectations and comfort. I don't even mind attending services for events with family, but we aren't a Christian household, but more secular humanists.

Now here we are, in 2024, and everything seems to be against us. We have white knuckled our way in raising 2 kids to adulthood, one gay and the other trans. It's been a struggle, but without my wife doing ALL the lifting (I have a 4 hr daily commute), we would not be a happy family.

My wife suggested that we needed to "create a community" to help carry burdens and give us the opportunity to shoulder others burdens. I said "great... Church". She comes from a Southern Baptist background but also now a secular humanists. She then showed me information about the UU fellowship near us, reminding me that we met a group of UU members when we were at the DC trans rights march. (They were really nice and not at all what I expected).

So, we watched a live stream of our local service and were commenting about everything we saw to find where we would feel that it wasn't for us. From the music (Natalie Merchant, Simon & Garfunkel, joen Lennon), to the message (Native poet(s) and being thankful), to not seeing a single symbol of religion (mainly looking for Christian symbols), to the words used (never heard God or Jesus, except from the congregation a couple of times).

I woke up this morning being thankful that, even though we haven't been yet, we may have found a community that we could be accepted in and find a way to give back and be part of.

I am actually excited to go to service (fellowship? I need to learn the words to use) on Sunday.

Tldr: new member and excited to (maybe) find a community after a lifetime on our own.

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Going to my first unitarian service.

27 November 2024 at 23:49

What should I expect and do they have a dress code? I was raised Baptist so that's all I'm really familiar with.

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Tears

27 November 2024 at 16:48

I have been a UU for 8+ years and I cherish my community. I volunteer my time and resources gladly, but without pressure to do so. I cannot imagine the shape my mental health would be in were it not for my congregation. It has been wonderful seeing many share their experiences with the UU on this subreddit. One common element among these posts has been people saying that it was common to shed tears during or after services. Often they say nothing more than "I cried." If you are such a person I am curious to hear what it was about your experience that moved you to tears. Share if you wish.

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I don't know what to do

27 November 2024 at 16:07

This is about my UU church in Wyoming, PA. I don't want to leave the church, but I don't know what to do. I've been UU for a long time I love the values and principles of UU. But we have a person here who is a problem.

There is so much fear and hate here. Its been going on for a couple years but gotten worse the last year and the last couple months. I even heard one of the pagans say "there's hate between the walls" but I haven't seen her anymore. Its one woman at the center of it. She used to be in the pagan group and I think they kicked her out. I don't blame them. She's hateful and toxic and abusive. I don't even know why she's still in the church.

She screams at people. She attacks people on Facebook publicly and behind their backs. She spreads lies and rumors. She makes up things just to use them to attack people. She twists things so she can get attention. She makes everything about her. Even her joys and concerns are just about her being seen not about the people they're about. Anyone she disagrees with gets treated like sh*t. She supports a spiritual leader who glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. (Seriously.) Everyone I've talked to is afraid of her and doesn't feel safe around her. Even most of the people that go to her house and hang out with her say they don't want to end up her victims. She makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Someone even said that some group she was in before kicked her out for the same things. Its difficult to believe anything she says.

She screamed at our last board president during Sunday service over plastic bags being cleaned up by minimum wage workers. It was really abusive and pretty stupid. Then she stalked out of the church and screamed at the people that went to talk to her. We could hear her from inside the church. Then she posted on her Facebook how proud she was of herself for standing up for minimum wage workers.

She spread a bunch of lies about our religious education director being transphobic and attacked her in a board meeting over it. It was all bullsh*t and everyone knows it. The RE director is one of the most caring people I know and is not transphobic. I heard she screamed at her in the middle of the board meeting for using a member's dead-name when it was actually a name they said they were okay with. The board decided to have sensitivity training. I think it was the right thing to do because education is always good. But they should have gotten rid of her after that. All she did was create a problem where there wasn't one just to make herself look good. She posted on her Facebook how proud she was of herself for "dealing with severe transphobia" and attacked the board for "rug-sweeping" even though it was all lies and made up bullsh*t. A couple of months later she attacked the board again for not getting the sensitivity training fast enough. I heard she was the one that was supposed to get it scheduled and just didn't. One of the board members got the training scheduled. She posted on her Facebook taking credit for it though. A lot of us saw it before it suddenly wasn't there anymore. Its disgusting still seeing her other Facebook posts knowing they're made up lies. She made a problem out of nothing and tried to make everyone see how she was the hero and "fixed" it. All she really did was throw a public fit over something she imagined then screamed at people about it.

The same board member recently resigned claiming mental health needs. I think she had something to do with him resigning. Everyone knows she doesn't like him and was looking for reasons to attack him. And he's one of the pagan leaders so of course she attacks him behind his back. Before he resigned he addressed the church and said he suffered a mental breakdown and apologized for not reaching out. He also said he broke a couple of people's trust and had apologized to them. I don't know what happened exactly but I heard about her screaming at someone, I think the leader of the pagan group, afterward even though I was told it had nothing to do with her. Him and the leader of the pagan group are married, I think. She obviously made it about herself again and used it to attack the leader of the pagan group again. And I'm sure there's a Facebook post about it which is probably lies. I just don't have the heart to look because her Facebook page makes me sick.

She accused a guy in the pagan group of sexu*lly *ssaulting her. No police were called and I heard they both said it was a misunderstanding. I've heard all kinds of things about it, but what I saw happen was he stopped coming to the church after that. I did hear someone tell her that if she needed more than just what our policy does, she needed to go to the police. But she keeps attacking the pagan group for some reason even though they have nothing to do with the policy and he stopped being around. The guy hasn't been near the church in over a year and a half.

I keep hearing a story about her posting something on the pagan group's Facebook page and the leader of the pagan group taking it down and her screaming at the leader of the pagan group and threatening her. Her own Facebook page says the post that got taken down was by a guy named Raven Kaldera. I Googled Raven Kaldera and he's a disgusting piece of sh*t. He's a sexual predator. He's been involved in multiple r*pes and sexu*l *ssaults of women and men. He's banned from a lot of pagan groups and places. So are a lot of people he associates with. Some incidents he's been involved in say he tells people that r*pe and sexu*l *ssault are something that makes people spiritually stronger. I didn't even have to look very hard. I'm disgusted that anyone in my church would accept someone like that as a spiritual leader. We accept all faiths, but faiths that accept and glorify r*pe and sexu*l *ssault shouldn't be allowed. I don't even know how our church would accept someone like that. I think the leader of the pagan group was right to take the post down. And if those are her religious beliefs, I don't know why she's even allowed in the church. I don't want my religious organization accepting someone that glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. And she still uses the incident to attack the leader of the pagan group on her Facebook page. Of course its only posts that people she wants can see and never the people they are about and doesn't use names, but we all know who she is talking about.

It makes me wonder about the accusation she made against the pagan guy though. She's lied and spread false rumors and twisted everything before. Her spiritual leader glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. I try to ignore rumors, but all of that make some of the things I've heard hard to ignore. Regardless of all of that, they still believed her and acted within our churches policy.

The posts she makes are her accusing the pagan group of protecting the guy she accused of sexual assault even though they have nothing to do with the policy and he hasn't come back since And if it was an accident what are they protecting him from? It looks like they took her post down because she was posting someone who endorses r*pe and sexu*l *ssault and she got angry and invented a reason to attack them. She's done it before. Protecting sexual predators seems to be okay when she does it. But she's not just protecting one, she's endorsing one. It seriously feels like a pig painting a horse pink then trying to shame it for being a pig.

I also learned that the local pagan shop won't do business with the pagan group because of her lies and rumor spreading. I did hear that the pagan shop won't do business with her anymore either though.

She is the membership committee chair and got some policy enacted where new members need to be approved by her. I don't know how that's possible, but it feels really wrong and I don't know why the board would allow it.

Her lies and manipulation has destroyed friendships and divided our community.

I don't know how to deal with someone like her. And I don't like that the board seems to just accept her abuse. I avoid her but she's destroying my community and I don't know what to do. The pagans seem like good people and the services they do are always powerful and spiritual. The pagans did so much for the church and they support so many causes, and now most of them don't show up anymore. They have been kind and accepting and caring. She has been manipulative and toxic and abusive. The leader of the pagan group was always there when people cried or needed support. She always came to service. She was there for people. She did the new year's service every year and it was really amazing. The pagan board member that resigned always sat in the back of the church and watched out for everyone. He threw a guy out of the church once when the guy started preaching to us how we were all going to hell. I have trauma around that and was going to leave, but he took care of it. I know he is a veteran and a cop and carries a gun. I never realized how safe it made me feel just having him there. I heard someone say he was the one who got the panic buttons and started our food pantry. And I use it sometimes. He does a beautiful service for Memorial Day. He doesn't show up anymore. It seems like most of the pagans don't show up anymore. There's a few, but not many. And she cries about there not being enough volunteers but with the pagans not around anymore there won't be. They did a lot.

I know there are things that I don't know. I know that some of this is just me guessing what is happening. I know there are things that probably happened that I don't know about. But all I is see her attacking people and screaming at people and being abusive. I see her making up things and lying and screaming about it to get attention. I never see any of the pagans doing any of that. Most of them don't even seem to want to be noticed for anything they do. She seems to want to create problems just to be noticed. I didn't even get most of this from the pagans. Some of it is on her own Facebook page when you read between the lines. I see good people who look out for us and do so much for the community leaving and her staying. And no one is doing anything about it. Our last president was a good guy but didn't do anything about her. The current president isn't around much and doesn't seem to care. I think because he's not around much he doesn't see any of her abuse. He seems kind of spineless and clueless. I want the board member who resigned back. I want the leader of the pagan group back. I feel safe with the pagans. I don't feel safe with her at all. And no one I asked does either. And the current church leadership isn't doing anything about it.

I admit I don't want to become another one of her victims, so I am not using my real profile. She will probably accuse one of the pagans for posting this and I don't want them to be attacked either. But something needs to be done about her. I've already written to the board and told them about this, but it still keeps happening. No one else seems to want to speak up and I know they all see it. I don't want to just leave the church but I don't know if I can stay in it knowing she's free to just abuse people.

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Don’t doomscroll about the election; do this instead…

27 November 2024 at 09:43
Don’t doomscroll about the election; do this instead…

Opinion piece by Perry Bacon, Jr. appearing in the Washington Post:

“Don’t doomscroll about Trump. Do these five things instead: “2. Join a Unitarian Universalist congregation.”

https://wapo.st/3OpGTy9

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7th principle

26 November 2024 at 23:49

Hi im very very new to UU and am trying to learn more about it. I agree with all the principles but the 7th, because I have know idea what it means...please help.

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Wedding ceremony - readings/scripts about the divinity of love?

26 November 2024 at 16:43

Hi! I'm not officially a member of UU but thought this could be a helpful community.

My fiancée and I are planning our wedding and I am looking for guidance so our friend/officiant can help us have a hand fasting ceremony that feels sacred but not "religious."

I am a (very very) lapsed/former Catholic who is no longer Christian but likes ritual and tradition. she did not grow up religious but is personally spiritual with an interest in some things pagan-adjacent. I would say that we are both spiritual in that we hold certain humanist-type views and find spiritual meaning and divinity in nature, human connection, tradition/ritual, and love.

Most "secular"/non religious ceremony scripts that I see are lacking in the sacredness I associate with weddings, and so many seem like genaric statements for people who avoid spiritual thinking all together. (Sometimes when I see peolle officiating their friends weddings, it sounds more like what you'd hear in a best man toast than at the altar)

I personally see a wedding as a deeply important ritual which is fundamentally changing both of our lives (outwardly and internally) and I am hoping to find some words/blessings that reflect that.

Like, how do I make this feel "holy" and/or incorporate "blessings" without mentions of a specific god? To incorporate things about the divine nature of love and unity and creating a new family?

Can anyone suggest some resources, blessings, scripts, etc?

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I attended my first (and second as of this writing) UU sermons

25 November 2024 at 09:19

To those who regularly attend UU services, a lot of this will sound familiar. I just wish to share my experience and also post it here for anyone considering.

I was raised southern Baptist spent years as an agnostic trying out different things like Wicca and Shintoism while I lived abroad, but feel most "at home" in some flavor of Abrahamism and converted to Islam a little over a year ago. I still consider myself a Muslim/Quranist, if not for the simple fact that it's a religious book that resonates greatly with me. People ask how do I reconcile my queer identity with having faith and I answer, "Just fine" because I do believe it is the people who take faith-based words and twist them to justify horrible things. But because of that it's obviously difficult to actually worship in community. Outside of sightseeing in foreign countries and a recent funeral, I haven't stepped foot in a church in nearly two decades. I've never stepped foot in a mosque, I'll just watch Friday prayers online. That changed a couple of weeks ago.

Months ago I searched for "lgbt congregation" or something similar and one of the first things that came up was Unitarian Universalism. I was shocked at the open mentions about LGBT acceptance and POC involvement on the website. Even with this, I put off going to my local branch (literally 10 minute drive away) for months. I was just too afraid that it might all be a lie, or lip service. Then I saw that they were having a TDOR service, and I took that as a sign to go. I'm so glad I did.

I've been going through a lot personally lately, a lot mentally. While I am of course working on my mental health medically, I feel the need for spiritual work as well. This was a healing experience. It felt familiar, but different. All the fixtures of a church were there, but this felt more welcoming. Going into the Christian church that the UU rents out, I was greeted with light filtering through rainbow curtains. There was a Pride Progress flag draped across a wooden wall hanging of a dove. (I was told later that these were there all the time, and that the Christian pastor who had arrived about five years prior had put them up.) I was greeted with a smile, a hello, an "assalamu alaikum" and offered to sign up for the newsletter and a to put my name and pronouns on a nametag. I noticed that recurring members had permanent nametags, all with names and pronouns on them.

The service started off with a native land acknowledgment, a prayer for transgender people who have lost their lives, a hymn, a sermon about how binaries lock us into viewing the world as "us vs. them" and how it lends to a cycle of hate and violence, testimonials from the congregation about their own trans relatives and how it helped them change how they see the world as well as their fears for their safety, a memorial reading of names (many from my area but also some famous cases from this year as well), money collection, another hymn, and finally a prayer for the hope of freedom of gender roles and expressions for all people including children, as well as safety, security, and community.

Not once was God or any particular entity mentioned. There was no talk of sin and punishment, only love, community, and striving for understanding and togetherness. Prayer was referred to as "prayer, meditation, or intentional reflection". I could tell the congregation were from multifaith backgrounds, some seemingly not necessarily believing in a particular being at all. There was just this shared idea that we are all in this universe together, so let's commune and try to set our spirits right to fight for what's right.

I was nearly brought to tears. Before and after the service so many people came up to talk to me. I'm young but clearly not a student at the local university and the majority of the congregation is 55+. People wanted to know how I even found out about the place and hear my story. I felt seen, I felt heard, I felt respected. I plan on going back.

And I have! The Thanksgiving sermon was a great message about service/self sacrifice, knowing yourself, and setting healthy boundaries. And since the congregations minister is a musician, it was a very musical sermon as well, which I was told happens the last Sunday of every month!

I imagine that of course every UU congregation is different. I'm just very glad I gave myself to chance to experience one.

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Choosing readings for an upcoming service

21 November 2024 at 14:50

We are a lay-led congregation. I am the worship coordinator for an upcoming service. The speaker has asked me to provide a couple of reading suggestions for her. I don't even know where to start. Her homily will focus on "Practicing Presence When You Disagree." She will refer to some Jewish sources, as well as work from Crucial Conversations, Non Violent Communication and the group Braver Angels as well as her own experience in being present with those who have a different viewpoint than her.

Where do I start? I have never picked out readings before.

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Non-LGBTQ Welcoming Congregations?

When I looked up my local UU congregation on the main UU website, I was surprised that of the very few pieces of information available there, one was that the congregation is "LGBTQ Welcoming." Not affirming, just welcoming. This was tagged alongside other features that I imagine may vary by congregation - wheelchair accessibility, "honor congregation" status. I thought all UU congregations were LGBTQ welcoming, and this honestly makes me less likely to actually follow through on attending...any insight here? Which congregations are NOT welcoming, and how might one know, besides these listings?

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Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in anywhere

18 November 2024 at 07:29

Hello, all. First and foremost, I consider myself to be a Humanist. I believe in social justice, compassion and tolerance towards everyone. This is a conclusion I have come to ever since my deconstruction from Christianity/religion a year ago. I'm also bisexual, so this has played a part in my thought process, as I align quite a bit with LGBTQ rights and equality.

In terms of beliefs, my spectrum has been all over the place since I left my "religion." I'd consider myself somewhere in the realm of agnostic, atheist, and spiritual naturalist. The thing that resonates with me quite a bit is "Naturalistic" or Scientific Pantheism. I believe in a spiritual connection to nature. And when I say nature, I don't mean just like outdoors, lakes, birds, trees, etc, but also the natural order of things in the universe. I think everything in the universe is all interconnected. For me, this interconnection is "god," at least metaphorically speaking. This is fine for me personally. If someone believes in a literal deity god, this is also fine to me.

That said, I feel like there is so much hate everywhere. For example, I'm a member of a Pantheism group on FB. This group has strongly become pretty Anti-theist in their views. Even though I am not a fan of religion in certain senses, I still believe in tolerance and respecting others.

Even from other "Humanists," I get this feeling a lot. Particularly those with the "Secular Humanist," moniker. They speak down to others who are god believers or Christians, and even those who believe in anything supernatural or are sometimes anything other than an atheist. There was someone who spoke of how agnostics are wimpy and less because they aren't atheists. This was in a Secular Humanist group.

The amount of hate and intolerance from all sides of the spectrum is sickening to me. From Christians, atheists, god believers that aren't necessarily Christian, and anyone else. Can't we all just play nicely and get along? Ya know, some of that "Coexist" notion? I feel like my mind, despite being a "Humanist" is much more UU in philosophy, though I don't attend any kind of services or church, etc.

I feel like there should be more love and tolerance in the world, and less hate.

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Is this the right place for me?

Hi! I have been interested in joining a religious community again. I enjoy Christianity and have read a little bit about UU but I would really like to be in a church where Jesus is believed to be God, part of the trinity you know? UU does not believe this in the doctrine right? I understand that UU is a very accepting of different beliefs but it would be hard for me to listen to sermons that teach such a big difference in beliefs. Please let me know your advice and if i should look into attending my local UU church

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Interested but Confused

16 November 2024 at 22:12

A friend told me I'd fit in to th UU community but, I'm lost and confused but intrigued. I believe in heaven and hell but I'm an LGBTQ ally. I HATED going to church and hearing some of my friends and family were "going to hell" for simply being who they are. But I'm also one who doesn't believe premarital sex is a sin nor is having a child out of wedlock. I am pro-choice and believe women should have control over their own bodies. I would like that go to church but not somewhere that says everything I mentioned, is a sin.

Is this really the right place for me??

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I should stop worrying about religion

15 November 2024 at 02:50

I need to stop fearing that I could be going to hell for Not being a Muslim or a Christian.

I'll never be 100% sure of the truth even as I believe in God, whoever God is.

With that said, I should stop worrying. It's been hard for me.

Please be nice in the comments as I understand that this may sound like a silly post. But I'm sincerely looking for answers and feeling worried.

I want to get back to my life and Not waste it by worrying.

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Received an answer from Jesus and Allah

15 November 2024 at 01:18

This will sound strange but yesterday, after a Muslim on Reddit prayed for me, I began to have faith that Allah is God and that there's only one aspect to God, not a trinity.

On the other hand, I've believed in Jesus for years and my prayers directed to Jesus have been answered.

With this said, my faith has been directed in two different areas at different times and I'm not sure how this is possible.

I hope that God will guide me to whichever religion I'm supposed to be a part of. I'm awaiting an answer from God to guide me to whichever religion I'm meant to be a part of.

I'm just wondering what people think about these two different answers to prayer happening from two different impressions of God.

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I need a prayer for forgiveness

I had to make a very difficult decision last week that has ended in sincere regret. This is something i cannot take back. i am riddled with grief and sadness and need strength. I truly thought i was making the right choice but now i see that i only did it out of fear. I have not been able to get this out of my head and hate myself so much. Please i am begging, i need prayers, i need forgiveness and healing.

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UU’s in Minnesota

12 November 2024 at 06:39

My wife and I are planning on a relocation to Minnesota from Atlanta. We are UU’s and have a family with 3 little humans. We haven’t decided where just yet. Likely around the Minneapolis/St Paul area. Any recommendations on congregations with an active community in the area?

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Bertrand Russell’s 10 Commandments for Living in a Healthy Democracy

11 November 2024 at 10:08

The teacher who urges doctrines subversive to existing authority does not, if he is a liberal, advocate the establishment of a new authority even more tyrannical than the old. He advocates certain limits to the exercise of authority, and he wishes these limits to be observed not only when the authority would support a creed with which he disagrees but also when it would support one with which he is in complete agreement. I am, for my part, a believer in democracy, but I do not like a regime which makes belief in democracy compulsory.

https://www.openculture.com/2024/11/bertrand-russells-10-commandments-for-living-in-a-healthy-democracy.html

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r/Paganism

11 November 2024 at 01:47

r/Paganism

Hi im currently a Christian and im having dount in faith I mean today I accepted Jesus for the fidth time But I dont know anymore and Im scared everyone will judhe Me and ill go to hell but please someone help me, :C

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Curious but nervous newcomer

10 November 2024 at 17:11

I moved to New England from the deep south not long ago. I hadn't given Unitarians any thought, largely because it's not really a thing where I'm from and I've only heard of it in passing a handful of times. But I saw some social media posts from a local church since the election that have me curious. Largely because as an AFAB trans person who is mixed I am so angry right now, but want to... walk the line? Of feeling anger and turning that into motivation without letting it consume me.

I considered going to their service today, but ultimately chickened out. I was raised roman catholic, went to catholic school, church twice a week, the whole shebang and am wary to say the least about religion and especially organized religion. So I guess I'm asking for people's experience on joining, good and bad. And of course, anyone who was raised in a similar religious environment I am particularly interested to hear your thoughts. And what made you decide to check it out to begin with.

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UUs in their late 20s/early 30s?

10 November 2024 at 16:27

I have been considering making UU my spiritual home for a little while now, but have had some hesitations because there aren’t many younger people in the fellowship near me. I’m 32 (childless) and was hoping to meet people at a similar stage of life. Today’s service totally shifted my perspective. The message centered around the disappointment, sorrow, and fear we are experiencing post election, and I have never felt so safe and seen in a room full of elderly people. (I recognize this is my own bias due to being raised in a Republican family.) I am so enamored with UU’s commitment to inclusion and seeking justice for marginalized communities.

So while I’ve decided to join the fellowship, I’m also wondering, are there other UUs of my demographic? If so, I would love to connect with some of you all!

EDIT: Thank you all for your responses! It’s nice to know I’m not alone!

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Are you Theist or Atheist?

10 November 2024 at 02:19

Ive grown up in the UU church and had more time this last summer to go to a few services and i heard that something like at least 40% of our congregation is athiest (including me!). I was wondering how UU reddit skews on this scale? I like the idea of just having community and being with the youth i grew up with there and hanging out with them we have said it doesnt feel like it should have to be called church at this point 😅

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Has anyone ever met an Unitarian Universalist who was a “fundamentalist”Christian?

9 November 2024 at 18:26

By that I mean a person who believes the Bible ( or the Protestant canon of Scripture) is infallible and that its beliefs or commands should be enforced on every one else.

I am interested to see if the “Biblical Unitarian” has been gaining some stronghold in UU congregations. I want to know if a trend towards social conservatism is also affecting the most liberal denomination of the Christian tradition ( notice I don’t say Christian denomination, since upon the merger of Unitarians and Universalists agreed on founding an universalistic and open-minded institution, open to all theistic and atheistic strands of thought that recognize the intrinsic worth of humankind)

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Rev. Randy Lewis (Tulsa All Souls Unitarian) sermon "How Deep is Your Love"

9 November 2024 at 15:36

"How Deep is Your Love" sermon (Youtube)

Relevant to the previous thread, here is a sermon by Rev. Randy Lewis of All Souls Unitarian in Tulsa OK about a UU minister who voted for Trump.

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How is your congregation responding to the election?

How are other UU congregations responding to the election? We had an ingathering Wednesday night where we shared our concerns, sang songs and did readings. The minister is also giving a sermon tomorrow about the state of the country.

It can be anything from sermons, statements, forums, special services, education....

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Maybe It's Time to Get Angry

9 November 2024 at 12:08

I'm a long-time member of the UU Church of Medford MA - known for such luminaries as Lydia Maria Child - author, abolitionist, women’s rights advocate, and Indian policy reformer; abolitionist George Luther Stearns, one of the “Secret Six” who funded John Brown in his militant opposition to slavery, and Reverend Eugene Adams, who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in Selma.

I watched the election results in the First Parish Church in Concord MA - where once gathered the MA Provincial Congress, calling for Revolution.

My Fellow UUs, enough with the Peace & Love stuff. It's time again to GET ANGRY, and GET ACTIVE.

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Reasons why the convicted felon supporters shouldn't be allowed in UU.

9 November 2024 at 08:59

At this point whoever supports that felon supports sexism, racism, LGBTQIA+ phobia, anti-climate activities etc.-all of which are clearly against UU values. There's a clear difference in morality hence these folks shouldn't be allowed in UU. Many people from marginal communities are UU members and they aren't safe around those "anti-human rights activists".

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UUs who voted for Trump?

9 November 2024 at 07:54

I was told a very small minority of UUs voted for Trump, and I am really curious why? Trump and what he represents is so antithetical to our UU principles and values, I'm just so curious how someone can both be UU and support Trump.

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Joining for the First Time

So I am considering going to my first Unitarian church meeting. Went to one mindfulness group where we discussed some Buddhist literature and philosophies and found the speaker of the group to be heavily consumed with his own personal beliefs and feelings about coming to the present moment. My curiosity in the UU movement as a whole is based on the incorporation of many faiths and appreciation for the wide diversity of faiths throughout the world. Regular attendees: have you found that ministers generally reference or allude to symbology and/or metaphorical concepts present in many faiths during worship sermons? I’d like for my weekly attendance to be a place where I could grow in my understanding of the worlds religions/cultures as well as a place to connect with a spiritually inclined body of people.

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Felt the Compulsion to Rejoin UU Today

I'm a 22M law student who grew up UU as a kid. To be honest I hated going to church as a kid and have been an atheist all of my life. I haven't been to church in well over a decade. But looking back I've realized how many of the values that I hold important come from what I was taught growing up unitarian. I felt the compulsion to rejoin the community in light of the recent election disaster. I feel like I'm missing the sense of community and having people to talk to for moral guidance. Especially being in the first year of law school, the communities I'm in right now are severely lacking compassion and morality.

Any advice of how to get involved besides just going on Sundays? I will try to go a Sunday I have free, but I don't have much free time as a law student.

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What’s missing from my UU experience

6 November 2024 at 22:48

Philosophically I have felt aligned with UU values for most of my life. But I only started attending my local congregation a couple months ago. It checks many boxes for me: extremely warm and welcoming, full of the misfits and outcasts, generally liberal, doing work in the community, lots of small groups, doesn’t tell anyone what to believe.

However, I am a lover of faith, a nerd about faith, I love listening to religious podcasts by people of all sorts of religions and I can tell when people “get it”. I can frame my religious discussion using the terms of many systems and find the different perspectives nourishing.

The lovely UU minister gives nice messages, but much of the discussion is around the fact that we all have Big Questions. What I want to hear about are what people around me feel are their answers.

I want to know what you believe, what gives you life, what nourishes you. I thought a church would have more of this kind of discussion. It feels like everyone wants to skirt around being too concrete or personal about spiritual matters to avoid offending anyone.

Tell me your experience as a UU member. Do you feel like there is space for this in your general congregation or is this a small group thing only? I know you can’t speak for other congregations, but I’m curious what individuals here perceive to be the etiquette and vibe of their own congregation’s UU culture.

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Any UU’s in Pittsburgh?

6 November 2024 at 16:03

I very recently moved to Pittsburgh (alone and am trying to get a read on local churches.

UU’s are so welcoming that it I had no worries about trying out churches, meeting people, etc. Unfortunately the first minister I reached out to was not welcoming on multiple levels.

I don’t want to be gossipy but I do want to explain why I’m on edge about all this. The minister with whom I corresponded refused to see if anyone in her congregation would meet for coffee, saying that UUs were introverted. She said that unless I attend services in person then she wouldn’t think I am ready to receive community.

FWIW, my hesitation to attend services is based on not having transportation, being immunocompromised, and living with chronic severe pain.

I won’t go into the rest; I just wanted to explain my cold feet and see if any ministers here have more empathy.

Feel free to PM me if you have anything you don’t want to share publicly.

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I have hope it's not over yet.

6 November 2024 at 09:56

Harris hasn't resigned. The numbers are super close in a lot of places. Not everything has been counted out and finalized. There is still room for hope.

I know my hope might be dashed. I know it's unlikely given the election fraud from last time and the people they put in place for this time. I still have hope.

Corporate media may have called it but yet I still hold hope. Until Harris reigns I hold hope.

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A message to my fellow UUs regarding the election.

It's official, the Cheetoh-encrusted, toupee-wearing embodiment of greed and hatred will be president again.

I hope this isn't me being silly, but I believe that as much as you guys are scared for our future and our people, you shouldn't be discouraged.

Whenever awful situations arise, use your fears as a motivator to fight for your rights to put these monsters in their place as your fears can help you become stronger and better than your enemies.

Remember, as much as Trump wants to be a fascist, the US is and will always be a democracy, a nation run by the people, and regardless of whatever ideologies we side with, it's our right for our voices to be heard and fight for your rights.

Don't be discouraged. Be strong. Be better than your enemies.

The road will be tough, but it's how strong enough you are to walk on it that matters.

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Considering joining but nervous and can use some advice!

4 November 2024 at 17:32

My partner and I recently moved to a new area. We are in our early 30s, no kids but we both expressed feeling exceptionally lonely and have had a difficult time getting out and making friends. To make it doubly difficult, I work full time from home so I don't have much of an outlet through work either..
We are both very spiritually inclined, me a bit more, but my partner is very open and is an active member of AA and has a strong relationship with his higher power. Neither one of us come from any sort of organized religious background but we do seem to share many of the same beliefs of UU.
We are very nervous to show up to a sermon? (not even sure if that is what they are called!!) but are curious about being apart of this community.
I guess I am just looking for some tips on etiquette and what to expect to hopefully lessen some of this social anxiety. I also understand that we may (besides children) be some of the youngest folks there. I don't particularly mind this, as I often love being around more experienced folks (heh) but I also want to be realistic about whether we can stick this out longterm with such a potential big age gap. Any advice from younger folks on this one?
Thank you!

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What are your thoughts on hauntings?

Curious what various UU members think of the ghostly side of things

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Attended my very first service!

3 November 2024 at 21:33

It went so well! As a Theistic Luciferian I was super nervous to attend but I was able to actually listen to others talking about their experiences with the church and their personal beliefs, which I always love to hear from people. Everyone was so friendly! I even got a compliment on my necklace! I may never officially join the church or anything but I will enjoy trying it out for a period of time and connecting with others with differing beliefs. I am so happy I wasn't judged for my spirtuality! I also absolutely loved the lighting of the chalice as it heavily resonates with me!

Just wanted to share my enthusiasm :)

Edit: I now see that someone posted their experience of having their first service before me! So happy for them!

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Attended my first UU church service!

I grew up Jehovah’s Witness and left almost 2 years ago. Family discarded me and surviving on my own has been a significant struggle and the threat of imminent homelessness at any given time is ever present. Today I attended my first UU church service and to my surprise I did not have the PTSD anxiety breakdown I was afraid I might having going to a religious environment. The welcoming vibe that doesn’t tell me I’m wicked or evil for being gay is so welcomed and I look forward to attending more events and services in my local UU congregation. THANK YOU!

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My partner doesn’t like my beliefs. How do I go about that?

Hey! So, I have been UU my whole life. I believe in god as a non-sentient energy that everything exists as part of, with the language of that energy being manifestation. I also believe in reincarnation. I work in plant conservation and ecology with the drive to promote environmental justice on an interspecies scale, along with just loving my career field. All of that is to say, I am very liberal, spiritual, and open minded with my beliefs.

I have been in a relationship of 3 years just about (with our anniversary coming up in January) with my partner. He is amazing and thoughtful in almost every way. However, he is a very devoted Christian, and he is unwilling to compromise on anything religious. (He has a lot of medical trauma, and one time he died briefly during a surgery. He says he say a vision that reaffirmed his beliefs. I have my own way of interpreting his vision with my own beliefs.) We try to avoid talking about our religious beliefs, and whenever we do talk about them, he is clear that he does not like my beliefs. His parents are very religious and republican (they don’t believe in climate change…), and apparently they have very strong thoughts on Unitarian Universalism. He told me to never mention it around them. From this though, he is unwilling to ever explore UU despite it being an open religion. I have gone to a few church events with him and his family, but I always feel slightly off-put when his church talks about me going to hell (I don’t believe in Hell but that’s not great energy to be around). One time, I also researched and emailed with more liberal and open minded church for a few weeks, and then I asked him to go with me to one of those. He instead told me that he already planned on going to his parents churches those days. We have talked about exploring other churches, and he was receptive then. I just wonder now if he doesn’t actually mean what he says in those conversations. We talk about our future all the time, but, occasionally, he says that I will believe what he believes. I don’t love that. I feel very proud of what I believe in, and it guides me through how I interpret the world. With the person I love hating my values, I feel like I should be ashamed of them sometimes, and I can’t talk about what I believe.

Further, I have deep problems with the whole “humans are over all other creatures” belief in christianity since I work in environmental conservation. I have had to had conversations on the plant-interspecies justice side where I ask if there would theoretically be a plant-Jesus, and he was not very interested. Hahaha

I am actually about to head out the door alone to go to my first UU event in like 7 years. I’m actually very excited to be in that environment again.

I guess, I’m just wondering what this group might think of all of that. What would you guys do? How would you approach this situation, and how would you have a conversation about that if you were in my shoes? And have any of you ever been in a situation like that? How did it go?

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Flaming Chalice

1 November 2024 at 21:15

I went to my first service last week, as I mentioned in a previous post, and I really enjoyed it. One question I had but didn’t get a chance to ask—and I’m hoping someone here might be able to answer—is about the very beginning of the service when the reverend lit a candle in a chalice. Could someone explain the significance of the flaming chalice in basic terms?

Also, shortly after that, the congregation was invited to come up and light a small candle on what looked like a metal tree, with one on each side of the sanctuary. During this time, there was a beautiful piece played on the piano, which made the moment feel even more meaningful. I’d love to understand the meaning behind this practice as well.

Thanks in advance for any insights.

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I’d like to leave…

I have decided I’d like to leave the church I attend as a member. I haven’t brought this up with anyone at the church but I haven’t met my pledge for this year either. Will I be required to meet it before I can leave?

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I’m struggling with being open minded part

28 October 2024 at 20:58

I know a big aspect of being a UU and one thing I’ve been struggling with recently is being open minded and accepting of people with different opinions.

I live in a very conservative part of the USA, in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. My wife and I have been attending our UU church for about 4 months now and it’s great. We are finally around people who share our same beliefs, religiously and politically. With us being in rural America we are in the middle of hateful politics and rhetoric. My friends and family are ALL republicans and we do not see eye to eye with them regarding any of that! I’m struggling to be accepting of them as I think there politics is full of hate and make my and my wife’s life harder. How do I become more accepting and ok with that? They are my family after all and these are friends I have been with since I was 4, I’m 33 now. With this charged political season my wife and I are sick of the people around us and the hate they spew.

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Will a UU church be a good place for me?

28 October 2024 at 16:26

Hello! I'm a Theistic Luciferian and I have a history with Christianity and Catholicism that has left me spiritually traumatized. (However, I accept people in these spiritualities.) I'm wondering if a Unitarian Universalist Church in my community would be a good place where I can learn and enjoy time around others without running into negative experiences. The reason why I'm wondering is because my partner has chosen to go and I'm going as well and I want to know if I will be "safe" from negativity toward my spirituality since it is usually a very taboo path. I'm not looking to identify as a Unitarian Universalist, I'm just looking to find a spiritual place in my community where I can connect with others. I'm also not very educated on UU and am looking forward to learning more! I got invited to join them and the minister was super nice and friendly! They weren't aware of what my spiritual identity is though. I really connect with the whole lighting the chalice thing because Lucifer's sigil is a chalice. Anyway, if anyone has any ideas about this, please feel free to let me know.

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Out of town etiquette question.

27 October 2024 at 17:18

I'm planning to attend services in a different city/state next month. Is it considered polite to email the minister ahead to let them know? Thanks!

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Update on my previous post.

27 October 2024 at 15:35

This is me coming back to update everyone on my experience! Last week, I made a post looking for guidance on whether Unitarian Universalism would be a good fit for me and how to attend a service. Many of you responded with kind words of encouragement, and today, I finally attended.

When I say my experience was incredible, I truly mean it. I arrived at the parking lot about 10 minutes before the service, which was scheduled to begin at 11 AM. Guest parking was clearly marked and easy to find—especially since my anxiety had me checking it out on Google Earth beforehand! The lot was packed, which was definitely not what I had expected. The campus itself is shaped like a large “U,” with a massive courtyard in the middle.

As I followed others into the courtyard, two older women approached me right away, asked if I was new, and kindly showed me to the welcome table outside the sanctuary. There, I met one of the greeters, who was incredibly welcoming. He explained how the service would go, offered me a name badge, and handed me the order of service. After that, he led me into the sanctuary and told me I could sit wherever I felt comfortable.

The sanctuary was beautiful—filled with natural light and high wood ceilings that felt inspirational. And the smell… it was like honeysuckle or fresh flowers. Just amazing. Today’s service focused on remembering our loved ones who have passed, which tied into Día de los Muertos. The music was moving, the readings from the reverend were thoughtful, and I even appreciated the part when all the new guests were asked to stand so the congregation could welcome us. Several of us stood, and the applause we received was so heartwarming. It was a wonderful feeling.

There was also a moment during the service where everyone greeted their neighbors, which I enjoyed. Several people came over to introduce themselves to me, making me feel even more at ease. After the service, they had food and coffee available for everyone. A woman came up to me and asked if I’d be interested in a UU 101 course, just to learn more about the religion and what it means. She wasn’t pushy at all, just kind and informative, so I agreed.

The course itself was great—there were a few other people joining too. The two women leading the course were knowledgeable and passionate, but never in a way that felt intimidating. Afterward, they gave us a tour of the campus, showing us a library filled with books by philosophers, social justice authors, and writings on the UU faith. They encouraged us to explore the campus freely and made it clear that we were welcome back anytime.

What struck me most was that, throughout the entire experience, no one was trying to impose their beliefs on me. It was clear that everyone holds their own beliefs, and the focus of the UU faith is to support individuals in finding what they believe in. I will definitely be back next week!

to add* yes, they had coffee. 🤣 It was offered both before and after the service. The courtyard had a covered patio and if I had to guess, I would say around 40 people were gathered, drinking coffee and eating pastries, while chatting with others.

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Help figuring out what tradition this is?

26 October 2024 at 02:54

I went to a UU as a young person and we did a tradition of candle lighting during the winter time. It has specific candle colors for each day. The closest thing I can come up with is Advent during the same time? But the thing I’m thinking of had a list of different candles and meanings. Maybe a variation on Advent? Does anyone have a list like this they’d be willing to share or have other insight?

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Come To Christ - He is the Only Way To Be Saved

24 October 2024 at 10:45

I created this video a while back, and would like to discuss it with folks. I would love your thoughts! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt2gXmy59XM&t

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Help me understand

23 October 2024 at 19:53

Hi everyone! I’m seeking some guidance or insight from those who may have walked a similar path. I grew up in a large family that occasionally attended a Pentecostal church, though we weren’t deeply committed to it—it was more of a convenience. After I came out, my family was essentially pushed out of the church, and we haven’t returned since. These days, my parents will still mention God or talk about Christ, but it’s not as fervent as it was during my childhood.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself grappling with my faith and spiritual identity. I’ve always had so many questions about religion, but more often than not, my questions were either dismissed or left unanswered. Now, nearing 30, I know I believe in something, but I’m not entirely sure what. Recently, I came across Unitarian Universalism (UU), and it really piqued my interest.

There’s a UU church less than 15 minutes from me here in Texas, and I’m curious about attending a service. Do you simply walk in and take a seat in the sanctuary? I’m a bit cautious about attending because I’ve never been to a place like this, and I’m unsure what to expect.

Could anyone explain, in simple terms, what UU believes? What texts, if any, are used? And as someone who might identify as agnostic (I don’t deny the existence of a higher power, but I feel it may be impossible for humans to fully understand it), do you think UU would be a good fit for me? I’d really appreciate any insights or experiences!

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Is Unitarian Universalism a form of religious Humanism?

Hello, all. I was just curious... Is the UU faith essentially a form of religious Humanism?

I would consider myself a Humanist. I used to consider myself a Secular Humanist. However, in recent times, I have come to embrace a type of Spiritual Naturalism. It seems the "Secular Humanist" movement has a tone that is highly against spirituality or any kind of "god" type beliefs of any kind, almost hinging on Anti-theist.

I, however, would like to refrain from such behaviors and believe in more positivity and tolerance towards others. I don't really believe in anything supernatural for the most part, but recognize there are many who do. I recognize that humanity comes in a diverse range of belief systems. I don't really believe in taking part in worship of any kind personally, but I see that rituals, ceremonies and other things give meaning to a lot of people, even if I don't share the views on my own personally. I also believe in secular values, but more so in the interest of keeping treatment towards others fair and ethical, without favoring a particular religion, not because I am anti-religion or anything like that.

That said, I feel like my views are very similar to the UU/religious Humanist aspect. I'd argue on paper, that my belief system sort of encompasses many things, mostly being Humanism, Scientific Pantheism, which is a form of Spiritual Naturalism, agnosticism, and technically atheism.

Perhaps my own "form" of Humanism, whatever it is, need not any alignment or labels. Any thoughts?

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Taking over as chair and sole member of the membership committee.

21 October 2024 at 12:51

For reasons I shouldn't share I've been tasked with taking on the chair of the membership committee. Because of the reasons there isn't going to be any handing over of documentation or contacts, aside from a log of headcounts she performed from time to time. So I'm practically starting from zero at a relatively small church (30 members, 20 pledging units).

Where do I start? I want to get out in the community at fairs and such, and I also want to be able to organize events to keep our members engaged, but it feels like I'm eating an elephant and don't know where to take my first bite.

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How relevant is the unitarian or universalist part in your church?

I recently started going ans after some research, I find the concepts of unitarian and universal salvation very appealing. I know modern UU has sort of evolved past that, but I was wondering if anyone still subscribes to these beliefs. I saw some sermons online touch upon it, but it was more in a "this is our history " kind if way.

I like how unitarianism encourages ppl to see Jesus as a fallible person inspired by God. Definitely makes him more relatable and I don't feel like my intelligence is being insulted. And universalism basically fixes the problem with so many Christians fixating on punishing or condemning outsiders.

I just feel like these are pretty powerful ideas and I'm wondering if you guys still feel they are relevant today?

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How do you track your congregations financials?

13 October 2024 at 11:05

I'm on my congregation's governance council, and we're trying to find a better alternative to our current software for our financials team. We are currently using Power Church and have for many, many years, but from what the finance team is telling us, it's not sustainable anymore. We're looking into different options, but so far nothing has really sparked for them. Therefore I'm reaching out to see if any of you have suggestions or resources! The team complains that they are getting burned out on how much work goes into using the software, but they don't want to outsource to a third party company to do the work. So, from what I'm being told, we need a solution that is in-house, but more user friendly, and hopefully can be more easily learned by multiple people so that as the team changes, we can more easily pass the baton to the new crew.

We're reaching out to our other local UU chapters to see what they use, but I am hoping that by spreading a wider net that we'll get some more ideas. Thank you all in advance!

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UU Conflict Resolution or Right Relations Abuse

Any stories about how these two ideas are misused? Especially when used for conflict between a congregant and staff?

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Colorado Springs Church?

9 October 2024 at 18:18

So one of my partners has recently gotten interested in the UUs and has an interest in attending the church in Colorado Springs.

So I was wondering if there's anything that y'all could tell her about that congregation and what to expect from their services?

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Breakoff Unitarian sect post-Article 2 revision?

8 October 2024 at 14:41

Sorry in advance that this is vague, but I'm asking here because the information I got was too vague to Google it effectively. My aunt told me that in the wake of the Article 2 revision, members of her congregation are considering leaving the church/UUA and attending services by a sort of breakoff group that doesn't answer to the UUA and doesn't follow the new Article 2. It's led by a man who seems to have formerly been a UU minister but was criticized for writing something that was perceived as anti-trans/LGBTQ. Does anyone know anything about this? My aunt is in Connecticut but it sounded like this wasn't a local group. She's getting old and doesn't always explain things well, hence my lack of info/confusion!

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Book recs

5 October 2024 at 19:49

Are there any books you think someone interested in UU should read and or you felt influenced by in your spirituality?

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Christian-My relationship with God is more important than my human relationships

I recently had a friend who told me that "his relationship with God is more important than my human relationships." This person is a Catholic that desires to go into the priesthood. How would a UU respond to this?

I think that "God" the force or the thing that it is can be found in things like friendships and relationships and we interact with that force through those things (just like art, music. literature, nature walks....). To me a "relationship" with something invisible is not paramount to something earthly. Thoughts?

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Humanism within Unitarian Universalism?

Hello all. I've identified as a Humanist for quite a while now. The more and more I go in depth with my journey of my own self discovery and learning, the more I find about how I lean towards certain things and then sometimes my views change slightly.

In terms of beliefs, I'm technically an agnostic atheist on paper. However, I think I'm a bit more of a kind of Pantheist or Spiritual Naturalist in some regards. I feel a type of spirituality within nature and considering the cosmos, and interconnectedness of all things with universe. I don't really believe in anything supernatural however like gods, demons, heaven or hell.

Now, I had considered myself a Secular Humanist along my pathway to discovery as well. However, I've recently almost sort of became disillusioned with this line of thought, as it seems a lot of people who are Secular Humanists are more interested in bashing others who are religious or believe in (a) god, which I am not. It seems spirituality in general, or anything with "Theist," in it is automatically frowned upon or arrogantly discarded.

I see purpose in people believing in things, rituals and spirituality, having community in church, and faith to some people, even if I can't get on board with all this personally. Everything isn't for everybody. I try to be more open-minded and believe in peaceful coexistence with everyone, regardless of what beliefs you have, as long as they aren't harmful or a kind of discrimination. The only thing I really disagree with is religion being brought into politics, and aggressive proselytizing.

That kind of makes me wonder, since I know religious Humanism is also a thing, is the UU philosophy more so this type of Humanism if that is the case? I don't really desire to be a part of any "religion," in any technical sense, but I think my belief in Humanism is a bit of a combination of religious Humanism (like UU) and Secular Humanism aspects. Ironically enough, from what I've read, religious Humanism is apparently considered a non-theistic stance as well?

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What does your congregation do to not welcome newcomers?

1 October 2024 at 19:21

I know the subject line sounds snarky however I'm serious. I'm a lifelong (it's starting to feel like a long life) UU. I recently attended a workshop at a neighboring UU church. A member there greeted me and she was wearing a name tag that had a bold "10 year member" banner along the bottom. It evoked a visceral "I don't belong" here reaction in me and I suppressed an urge to flee (and I'm an old white guy).

Until recently, our church had a color-coding system for name tags (members had one color, visitors another, etc) which inadvertently created a "we're 'in' and you're not" vibe. We also use jargon (eg. "join us in the back lounge after the service") that's not easily understood by newcomers.

What does your congregation do to not welcome newcomers? I'm hoping to trigger awareness and perhaps change where needed.

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How do you explain Spirituality to a Christian?

I think religion confines ppl into arguing over meaningless man-made rules/theologies. How is a catholic God any different than a Muslim God for example?

Wouldn’t it make more sense that there’s only ONE God who is UNIVERSAL?

Why would God discriminate against geographical location? If you so happened to be born in India to a family practicing Hinduism.. why would God Condemn you for doing what you think is right?

Why are Christians so convinced that those who do not worship and walk the same way they do are going to Hell?

What about those who cannot read? What about those who are blind? Deaf?

Anyways, I’m wondering how you could possibly explain Spirituality to a Christian who’s convinced anything outside the dogma of Christianity is essentially evil.

Is it even possible for a religious person to empathize with someone who doesn’t have their same believes???

I am not religious but my bf is. He seems to think his love for Jesus is what’ll take him to heaven….

He says he loves me…but how much can he truly love me..if deep down, he thinks my disbelief in the Christian version of God will send me to Hell?

Why is it so difficult for him to think outside of the Christian context? Any questions or points I try to make in favor of my spirituality, he dismisses with Christian logic or a Christian explanation instead of a more objective one. No matter what I say, it’s like he doesn’t REALLY hear me.

I feel like religion has him trapped in a bubble avoidant of hearing anything besides more religious confirmation bias.

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OWL Experiences?

28 September 2024 at 13:35

Hi All,

Our church is bringing back OWL programs for the first time in awhile, and we're extremely happy to be able to do this again! We were wondering if there were any experiences that anyone here could share (positive or concerns) regarding the program. Any extra info helps!

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Visitor handout draft - critiques welcome!

24 September 2024 at 17:17
Visitor handout draft - critiques welcome!

Thanks for the previous advice on doing a visitor handout.

This is my draft of a 5.5"x8.5" handout to give to first time visitors to our congregation. My guess is that if they made their way through our door, they will have some idea of what UU is about.

I'd love some feedback before submitting it to our committee. Note that there is extra white space at the bottom, under the lower blue box. That is where we have the address, phone number, and website url. I just didn't show it on this picture, because this isn't final or approved yet, and I don't want it to accidentally get out into the wild with our details on it :-)

I used colors, fonts, and graphics approved by the UUA.

Is this enough information? Not enough? Too many bullet points (I'm kind of bullet-point happy)? Should I do something on the reverse side, like FAQ's or something?

https://preview.redd.it/gjl7reoyptqd1.jpg?width=1650&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eeb6be74a885611048572573fe13c96b0dd24401

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Are any of you UUs involved with CMEP?

23 September 2024 at 11:03

For those unaware, the organization is "Churches for Middle East Peace". The UUA is one member of the organization along with a couple dozen other (mainline Christian) denominations.

I've been invited on a CMEP peacemaking trip to Israel/Gaza in November, organized by a friend of mine from another denomination (not one of the member churches but they share CMEP's main philosophy).

I'm inclined to take the trip because the person inviting me is a person I trust in terms of finding safe, educational and theologically appropriate travel partners. If there are any UUs who are familiar with the organization and their mission I'm interested in connecting before I go.

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What do you hand out to visitors?

22 September 2024 at 18:29

I've been asked to make something to hand out to first-time visitors to our congregation. I'm having trouble figuring out what to put on it. Should I focus on our particular congregation, since lots of general info can be found by just googling Unitarian Universalist? Is it ok for me to use the new image of the love chalice (the one with love at the center and the other 6 principals around it)? Does anyone have a flyer like this from their congregation that they could share with me to help spark my creativity? I've tried to do a google search for ideas, but am not really finding anything. Thank you!

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Unbaptism

22 September 2024 at 16:15

Hi, Im a life long UU and member of CUUPs. Ive been exploring what folks who have experienced religious trama are sharing, at least openly and the idea of an unbaptism has come up. Has any UU congregation offered this kind of a thing as a service? It sounds very healing.

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Hello

22 September 2024 at 14:40

I’ve been interested in spiritual things for years (manifestation, crystals etc), I decided to go back to shadow work, do mediation and yoga.

Would going to a UU church sometimes/occasionally ala online services be helpful for my spiritual journey ???

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No minister but need pastoral support

20 September 2024 at 22:12

So earlier this year our congregation fired our minister for a multitude of reasons. Our congregation is basically now all lay-led, in Worship and Pastoral Care. I myself am now the head of the Worship Committee and have been working 20 hour weeks as a volunteer and I have been overwhelmed. Anyway, that's not my current concern, though I've been meaning to make a post about that.

My mom is in the ICU and is probably going to be taken off life support in the next couple of days. I really wish I had a minister to talk to, but since we don't have one at my congregation, I don't know what to do. I see know there are like UU spiritual directors, but I don't know if that's what I need. I like the people in our Pastoral Care Team, but I think I need more spiritual, ethical and moral support.

Should I contact a minister at another UU church in the region? Would it matter as I guess I'm not a member and don't pledge $ to them? I guess I just feel so lost and I don't know who to talk to. The chaplain at the hospital was nice, but very overtly Christian and overly optimistic. I wish I could talk to my former minister who I think is still in the area, but apparently we aren't allowed to contact them after everything that went down, even though it was a board decision to fire them not the congregation.

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Halloween?

19 September 2024 at 22:33

I assume the answer is yes, but just to make sure, is it okay for UUs to celebrate Halloween?

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Any Muslim Unitarians, or Unitarians from Muslim traditions, on here? What is your experience like?

8 September 2024 at 14:56

I am a practicing Muslim seeking a home faith community that aligns with my faith practice, my politics, and my perspective on the world... unfortunately as a woman who is vocal about those politics & perspectives I am not entirely welcome at any otherwise-accessible mosques, so I'm forced to get a little more creative in my search. Via many years of interfaith community organizing beside Unitarians I know that our politics & perspectives often align, and based on the tenets and UU lit I've examined so far it seems like at the very least I can hang out on Sundays without committing shirk... then when I was chatting with a colleague who is a Unitarian minister, she mentioned that there are indeed Unitarian Muslims out there. Is that true?

Any Unitarian Muslims out there who would be willing to chat about it?

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