I’ve never read anything about this and I’m curious because I tend to overestimate others’ authority.

I’m guessing this has been discussed-/what the ideal balance is, how much members should defer, etc, and I’d love to hear some of the most common takes.

I really like my minister, but we had a bad conflict recently and I'm not sure how to work through it.

I don't want to get into the whole issue because my question is about rebuilding trust.

To try to condense it, I'll say I was in a very stressful situation and my minister deferred to a policy I didn't know about. The end result was that I lost a support and went into full PTSD over all of it. I set up a zoom call for tomorrow, and I'll try to explain the context and that it was a PTSD trigger. I'll listen to her as well, of course.

But I don't know how to move on because I feel so betrayed. Instead of taking the time to understand, I felt like she deferred on policy that seemed arbitrary, and she was defensive and inflexible. I'd never seen those traits in her.

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I don't want to still be mad and hurt, but I am. She can't turn back time and is rigid on this issue, so in a way it seems pointless to talk knowing there won't be resolution. But I would like us to be on better terms.

What would you do?