Hello, I have a bit of a long and twisted story/background with my local UU church in Bellville Ohio, called All Souls. I started attending services in Aug 2019 and met with the minister there during coffee hour a few times in the first several weeks. Then I ended up in the psych ward for the very first time in my life. I was 29. I've now been diagnosed with bipolar w/delusions/psychotic features. At the time, I thought I was on a spiritual journey but after years of therapy it is now treated as mental illness. I still have a lot of trouble differentiating the two.

Anyway, I ended up being kicked out of the church January 2020 because I pushed too many boundaries, I was told. (I've got BA in psych but still don't understand the language they use to explain why I was actually kicked out. Maybe I'm just too stupid to get it, but the pastor is tired of explaining it to me.) I feel like it was because the pastor made a move on me (from my honest perspective) and then I returned the advances. Maybe he didn't think he made a move on me and thought I was just coming onto him. That is totally a possibility in my eyes. However, I've told members of the church about it, and have never had a real conversation with anyone about it to resolve it. The pastor himself never brings it up in plain language, anyway, and no one else has mediated the relationship to my satisfaction yet.

Fast forward, I was welcome back a year after being kicked out and officially joined the church as a member like last year or the year before. I can't remember when exactly, but I stopped going to services for a while or it was very far and few between for some time due to life circumstances.

Skip ahead to this fall, I had stopped taking medication because I was exhausted with trying so many meds and none of them working. I lost hope, but believe me, I tried for years before I stopped. I tried so many, I couldn't list them all even if I tried. I've now been hospitalized something like 12+ times and they change the meds almost every time I've gone.

So in September I had a manic episode, pretty extreme one where I was awake for 4 days with something like only 3 hours of sleep, thanks to NyQuil. I had tried asking for some sleep meds just to knock myself out because I know bad things happen when humans don't sleep for days, but they would only give me Risperdal (a side effect is drowsiness, it's not a sleep med).

I went to church with no sleep on Sept 17 and was considered to be rude and disruptive. Then I was hospitalized later that same day.

The following week, I went to the next service, and was asked to leave and not return to any services until someone contacted me.

I'm pretty sure it was the minister himself that told me I had to meet with their Right Relations Committee, a week after they had their own meeting to discuss their decision on what to do with me. They ended up putting me on hiatus for a year until October 10, 2024.

I asked if I could go to a different UU church. The minister said I had to meet with the pastor there first, so that's what I did. At the meeting between me, the Bellville pastor and the Wooster pastor, the Bellville pastor tried to explain the situation and ended up accusing me of assaulting a police officer, which is untrue.

I've tried for several weeks now to understand why he said that about me when it's not true. He is unwilling to explain himself. He says I'm just arguing with him.

Why? Why lie? If he lied about something that serious in front of me, what is he saying about me at these meetings I'm not allowed to attend? How am I supposed to get fair treatment when he's telling people rumors and gossip like that?

I just want to attend the church like a regular church goer. I've admitted and apologized for my mistake of going while manic with no sleep and have offered to not go to church if that ever happens again. Like, I'm trying to behave, I'm just mentally ill, but not a threat like he's making me out to be a violent, abusive person with the accusations of assault.

I've reached out to the Wooster pastor and the primary contact for the region, Rev Sunshine, but I don't expect a quick response with it being so close to the holidays. People are busy.

Does it sound like I'm seeking pity? I hope not. I'm just asking for help with being treated with dignity and respect. No one likes untrue rumors spreading around, especially when an authority figure is the one perpetuating them.