So for context, I'm a 20-something. In the last few days, I've become interested in exploring spirituality. But there have always been little things that bothered me about them, with making any sort of specific commitment, and I've never been one for how much they try to force an opinion.

That being said however, after spending about a quarter of my life going from edgy atheism to just depressed and isolated, I'd like to think there is something beyond what I can perceive or study, and I'd like to show whatever may be out there that I am at least trying and hope they understand and accept that. Then I happened upon UU in a Reddit thread by chance (or perhaps by divine design if you are convinced of such), and I had been mildly intruiged when hearing about it previously. So I came here reading through the thread, and I liked a lot of what I read in theory.

Then came the anecdotes about the practice. I've encountered a lot of talk about this 8th Principle, and a lot of chaos. Further, while I recognize I'm not in the greatest position to have an informed opinion, my gut instinct doesn't seem to coincide with consensus. On another instance where I considered buying a book that I reached through a link here, I encountered the spelling of 'folx'. And there, I do feel comfortable as both bisexual and transsexual in openly (though respectfully, mind you) disagreeing with the mindset that sort of thing tends to stem from. Lastly, I've seen comments attesting to congregations consisting of generally older people, and of an active desire for demographic diversity. While I've no problem with diversity, I can't relate to actively seeking it out; and being a young'in I'm not exactly looking to be surrounded by people thrice my age.

It overall, to me, feels very reminiscent of the political screeding one may expect to see from apocalyptic Protestant congregations, just from a different cultural 'side'. And, I've enough experience to know I don't care for that sort of thing, having come from an extended family of devout Pentecostals. It registers for me as alienating in a very familiar way.

That all being said, I do want to supplement all that I've said above by confirming that I have gathered congregations can be very different from each other. Which on the one hand, could mean what I'm looking for is out there, but on the other makes everything I've looked at somewhat uncertain, and I already couldn't be sure I'd actually find what I'm seeking.

I'm overall left feeling rather conflicted. Because on the one hand, I'm still quite interested in exploring spirituality in a way that isn't going to try to force a particular doctrine; which everything I read tells me is exactly what UU offers. But at the same time, what I'm hearing is telling me a very different story. So I've left it to simply ask you folks outright for an outside take on my situation. I recognize some of my issues may not make me seem the best person in terms of my non-religious beliefs, so I will endeavor to be as respectful as I can in those domains so long as I can expect the same. I'm looking to explore myself, not proselytize politics; I find that doing so is rarely productive for anyone anyway.

Lastly, I hope the long essay I have written doesn't prove insurmountable, and thank you to anyone who's gotten far enough to read this particular sentence.