I moved to a place with no uu 😭 who do I talk to to get one opened here? I miss having one. The closest is an hour away. I emailed them and they said to contact the website and I did but I haven't gotten any clear answers.

Many UUs talk about striving for multiculturalism in their Unitarian Universalist congregations. I argue that Unitarian Universalism is already multicultural. There are 3 cultures. Liberal, Protestant and White. I strongly doubt anybody is considering giving up on liberalism although we might find "conservative" people interesting, I don't have a sense we are striving to include any more than we already have. People may be flexible on Protestantism, but my belief is that many UUs don't want our congregations to be so white. - Feel free to argue with my premises!

It is admirable that we look around at our sameness and with an awareness that we might be missing out on the richer experiences that we might have if we weren't all so similar. - And so we might be interested in people who aren't necessarily protestant but we are definitely interested in people who aren't white.

Now I will land the plane. If we are interested in people who aren't white, we should go visit them, when and where appropriate, in their spaces and times. Inviting other people, people who are different than we are, to come to visit us in our spaces and at our times suggests that we know more about where they aught to be than they do!

So, if we are interested in people that aren't similar to us, we should go visit them. If we don't go visit the people in whom the have so much interest, maybe we really aren't that interested. - What do we have to offer to people who have their own full, rich lives filled with their own friends, families and cultures?

I know it's not in the nicest of contexts, but I live for it. Shhhhh....don't hate me.

Here's one: there is a UU musician who travels the country doing worship services and has never, ever, ever, ever, ever washed their hair. I have receipts!

I am a practicing Muslim seeking a home faith community that aligns with my faith practice, my politics, and my perspective on the world... unfortunately as a woman who is vocal about those politics & perspectives I am not entirely welcome at any otherwise-accessible mosques, so I'm forced to get a little more creative in my search. Via many years of interfaith community organizing beside Unitarians I know that our politics & perspectives often align, and based on the tenets and UU lit I've examined so far it seems like at the very least I can hang out on Sundays without committing shirk... then when I was chatting with a colleague who is a Unitarian minister, she mentioned that there are indeed Unitarian Muslims out there. Is that true?

Any Unitarian Muslims out there who would be willing to chat about it?

Hey, my name is Tim. I am a first time user of Reddit, and joined because I saw this thread. I am a member in Pasadena, Ca., and am a recovered-Christian-turned-atheist. I'm still in the proverbial closet about my faithless belief and plan to keep it this way. I am Japanese American and J.A.s tend to be loyal to something they hold dear. Sadly, Christianity is one of them. So why the sour comment? Because, the white members of my denomination felt we could not be trusted during WWII. Forget the fact that my people fought Nazis during WWII as the 442nd RCT and my uncle, a Japanese American helped defeat Japan while serving with the Military Intelligence Services. What also turned me away was that the same people who trust Jesus, did not trust us, thus made this verse. Psalm 23:4 King James Version 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. worthless. So if they don't have faith in God, then how would God help me or is racism justifiable? I left because of racism.

BTW, according to the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles, Japanese American Christians made up of more than 50 percent of the population before, during and after WWII. While in Japan, Christians make up about one percent of the total population. So why the vast difference? Racism. When I studied the history, it was forced assimilation in the new world that guide the immigrants and not the love of Jesus. Maybe today things have changed after being indoctrinated for generations, but that's why I'm an atheist in a U.U. congregation.

Hi everyone! I really resonate with Unitarian Universalism and have been attending a congregation for a few months. I have always felt a calling to ministry that I have avoided for multiple reasons. I feel I am in a place to pursue this calling now, but I'm afraid my financial situation could be a blockage. I am a teacher making decent money and I am paying off debt for a bachelors degree and 2 masters degrees. I know going into ministry requires a Mdiv. which would require more debt. I'm wondering if there is a path forward for me to leave teaching and pursue the ministry without going into more debt (hopefully) and still being able to pay my other student loans while supporting myself with normal life costs.

1) Is there a path to ministry that doesn't require further student loans?

2) Any advice from folks who changed careers to ministry from something else and how you managed that financially?

3) Do you know of any grants or other ways of paying for an Mdiv?

Any advice would help, thanks!

Hello, I am asking for prayers for my life. It is a mess. I am in my 20's and feel like I am going nowhere. I have no job, car or family. Also besides that I have crippling OCD and anxiety that leaves me bedridden some days.

I used to work a nice blue collar job but my mental health and physical health have gotten so bad I cannot perform anymore and have had to apply for disability and food stamps and that could take months or literally years.

I know there’s a lot of other people out there with it worse than me but this is bad.

I have been reading the book of Job and I do not understand how he did it. He stayed strong though and he came through it just like I’m going to. Just please pray and send good vibes for me.

I am gay also and my speakable family disowned me for that. I have been to several churches to no avail. I was able to apply for disability but was told it could take months to years upon years to get it. I just need help right now, I am experiencing hunger, and I need some help. I am ebarrased to do this but I have nowhere else to turn. I have tried to get help from churches and other organizations, but to no surprise I was turned away and told they didnt have anything. But I know there are people who have it worse than me, but I am scared I cannot make it. I dont have a car or anything and live in a rural area. I am so scared. Please, even if you cant send me money please send me good vibes and thoughts.

I have no family I can borrow off of and my credit is trash, so I can't borrow money. I have PayPal if anyone can help. My name on there is @tinysky1237 If anyone could help I would greatly pay you back when I get on my feet. I also have cashapp $crawfishpie32 if not please send me good vibes as I have never felt this low in my life. I literally have no food, rent is 2 months behind, getting evicted at the end of the month, health is hot, no family, sometimes I just feel like I should not be here anymore.

I never thought I’d have to do this with my anxiety being so bad like I never thought I’d get to the point I couldn’t function. And I’d have to resort to doing this but it’s my last hope literally.

I know this looks very suspicious, and I do not blame you for thinking that, but I swear I am not lying and am at the end of my rope, I really think I can't go on. Sorry, I hope I didn't make you depressed by reading this. I miss my family, but i am still weirdly mad at them? Is this normal? I have applied for medicaid and am going to try and get mental help when it gets approved it just takes forever. I would just like to ask everyone again, to send good vibes, I really feel like I cant go on and if you can send anything please do anything will help. This is very embarrasing to do, but I have no other options.

Just please I’m so sorry and embarrassed to do this but it’s really the only option I have. Please send good vibes for me.

Please pray for me for healing of my mental health. I don't even feel like a person anymore.

Hello, I am asking for prayers for my life. It is a mess. I am in my 20's and feel like I am going nowhere. I have no job, car or family. Also besides that I have crippling OCD and anxiety that leaves me bedridden some days.

I used to work a nice blue collar job but my mental health and physical health have gotten so bad I cannot perform anymore and have had to apply for disability and food stamps and that could take months or literally years.

I know there’s a lot of other people out there with it worse than me but this is bad.

I have been reading the book of Job and I do not understand how he did it. He stayed strong though and he came through it just like I’m going to. Just please pray for me.

It really gets dark some days but I try to grit and bare through it. Some days I live minute to minute literally. Like I said I know there are people who have it far worse than me in the world but this is bad. It's the hardest and worst thingive ever been through in my life.

I am gay also and my speakable family disowned me for that. I have been to several churches to no avail. Like I said before I was able to apply for disability but was told it could take months to years upon years to get it. I just need help right now, I am experiencing hunger, and I need some help. I am embarrased to do this but I have nowhere else to turn. I have tried to get help from churches and other organizations, but to no surprise I was turned away and told they didnt have anything. But I know there are people who have it worse than me, but I am scared I cannot make it. I dont have a car or anything and live in a rural area. I am so scared. Please, even if you cant send me money please send me good vibes and thoughts.

I have no family I can borrow off of and my credit is trash, so I can't borrow money. I have PayPal if anyone can help. My name on there is @tinysky1237 I also have cash app it is $crawfishpie32. If anyone could help I would greatly pay you back when I get on my feet, if not please send me good vibes as I have never felt this low in my life. I literally have no food, rent is 2 months behind, getting evicted at the end of the month, health is hot, no family, sometimes I just feel like I should not be here anymore.

I never thought I’d have to do this with my anxiety being so bad like I never thought I’d get to the point I couldn’t function. And I’d have to resort to doing this but it’s my last hope literally.

I know this looks very suspicious, and I do not blame you for thinking that, but I swear I am not lying and am at the end of my rope, I really think I can't go on. Sorry, I hope I didn't make you depressed by reading this. I miss my family, but i am still weirdly mad at them? Is this normal? I have applied for medicaid and am going to try and get mental help when it gets approved it just takes forever. I would just like to ask everyone again, to send good vibes, I really feel like I cant go on and if you can send anything please do anything will help. This is very embarrasing to do, but I have no other options. I'm about to get evicted, I have no money for bills or food. Oh Lord help me to please have the strength to get through this time because I know there will be better times one day, I just wish they'd hurry up.

Just please I’m so sorry and embarrassed to do this but it’s really the only option I have. Please send good vibes for me.

I have been poking around learning about UUs, and I'm very interested in RE and OWL classes for my children. The problem is the local UU dosen't have any children's programs, the second closest is over an hour away. I can't afford the gas or time commitment to attend the children's program, 2 hour round trip plus service(s) and the 2pm owl program. I would have to leave before 9 am and come home after 4pm. Those of you who have experience with OWL, do you feel it is a curriculum I can just purchase and teach my children, or do I really need a trained instructor for it to be properly taught? With the grade levels( K-1, 4-6, 7-9, 10-12) do you use the K-1 for 2nd grade and the 4-6 for 3rd grade? I'm sorry I have so many questions, but any insight would be helpful. Thank you!

Unitarian Universalism’s Fad-Hopping Problem (substack.com)

After Hamas attack, a successful minister becomes a rabbi – The Forward

I grew up in India in a traditional Hindu family. I'm so glad to learn about Unitarian Universalist religion as it is accepting of all people no matter their sexual orientations or belief structures. The fact that you guys have managed to establish a progressive community of rational, sane and open minded people who support progressive social policies is so incredible to me.

I wanna learn more about this. Can anyone enlighten me on your religion. Please note I'm a person who has a very basic knowledge of Christianity growing up in this part of the world so I need to learn more and more things about this incredible religion, its beliefs and the practices it preaches. Can anyone enlighten me on this? Also do you guys have presence here in India or anywhere outside the US as of now?

Hi,

This could be a sensitive topic for people here. I don't know. The title asks it all. There is /r/UUreddit, and there is r/UnitarianUniversalist.

What is the difference between the two?

It just seems like the work that gets put into some discussions and resources would get duplicated, which is a bit of a waste of time. Plus it's confusing.

I wonder if there could be a brief explanation on the sidebar maybe?

There has been a trend in Christianity towards a renewed interest in intentional community. I'm thinking of 'new monastic' groups like the Iona Community and Taize.

Here is a link for an example of what I'm thinking of. These guys are liberal Christians: https://www.abbeychurch.ca/pages/the-emmaus-community.

Are there any groups like this among Unitarians? Anything come to mind that involves people choosing to live together and engaging in shared spiritual practices and meals, etc.?

Our congregation used to have a very popular broadly themed discussion group before service every Sunday. But when Covid came, it went on-line via Zoom, like everything else. However, it never "came back." Its leader(s) merged it with two other groups that were not associated with our church (both sophisticated philosophy discussion groups). Now, it is nothing at all like what it used to be. It has many more members, including many from all over the world, but it is no longer a UU group and very few of our members still attend. The group seems to have left us, in all but name.

In a couple of days, I will be pitching an idea for a Forum/Discussion group to our church's council. The idea is that this group is going to be what the above-mentioned discussion group used to be before Covid. I know that there is a pretty significant demand for a group like this and I am almost positive the idea will be approved by our council.

The only point I am concerned about is its in-person status. The point of the group I feel is not learning things per se (we have community college and on-line courses for that). It is learning things in community. It is about building community by learning together, by sharing knowledge and experience and by being with each other, in the same room, smilling at each other, furrowing our brows at each other, cocking our heads inquisitively at each other, looking each other in the eye. And basically you cannot do that on Zoom. You cannot really *feel* a connection with others on Zoom. So, I definitely want this group to be in-person.

I actually don't think I will have any problem pitching an in-person discussion group. However, I would like an exclusively in-person discussion group. I have been in so many meetings over the past two years or so that are hybrid ... and it just never works well. It is difficult for moderators. It makes things awkward for the rest of the group. You have to have a microphone and wait for the microphone to be passed and speak into the microphone. And, you know, there is just something intimacy-destroying about that.

Or, you have everyone huddled around one computer and someone always trying to relay information or checking in with the people on-line to make sure they are following. And repeating things for those on-line. And .. there is something intimacy-destroying about that.

Also, I get the strong impression that members who do attend meetings or services via Zoom are, how shall I say this? um well, either not quite as much into making an effort to physically get themselves to our buidling, trying to save time or money. Which is fine for a service ... but for meetings where we would like to have a natural back-and-forth, it just doesn't work. I can't think of anyone in our congregation who couldn't actually come in person ... if they really wanted to. Ok, I just got that out there.

Yes, I realize that sometimes some people might be ill, or want to isolate, but in that case, they could just skip a week of the discussion group.

So, has anyone here successfully gone back to entirely in-person groups? And if so, how did you deal with members who now assume that a virtual option will be available for everything, even if it isn't truly needed. In other words, people who now assume that everything will be made as easy as possible for them.

I hope this hasn't turned into too much of a rant. I'm just anticipating feel frustrated with this and am looking for ways of heading the problem off at the pass, as it were.

Hi! I am someone who describes myself as a Unitarian Universalist - I don't have a UU church in my town, but I share a lot of the same values/beliefs. That said, something I think I'd get value from would be a daily devotion - something I could read while sipping my coffee in the mornings at work and meditate on/pray about. I was raised (fundie/evangelical) Christian, and I know a lot of Christian traditions have these, but I actually am hoping to find some devotionals that dive into more than just one faith, and bring nuggets of wisdom from different faiths every day.

I also prefer a physical book for this. I am very 'out of sight, out of mind' and will forget it and have a hard time forming a habit of reading it if it's tucked away in an app somewhere. I'd prefer to keep it right next to my coffee setup on my desk at work.

Is there anything y'all would recommend?

It seems like there is no recourse for when a UU church has a "bad" minister. Our church minister recently became contracted. Just to add, this church seems to have a history of not so great ministers. The previous minister before this recently contracted one was asked to leave due to someone warning to take legal action against them.

This current minister is disorganized but worst of all, extremely rude. There was even been a whole committee created to manage complaints against the minister. This minister even went as far as firing one of the Church's staff after they asked about a raise. They have even spoken of breaking away from the UUA for being too "woke."

They are barely in office during the week. They've pushed to get lots of amenities for their office, even going as far as saying they want a bathroom and bed in their office... after being contracted they purchased a nice house and honestly... it just seems like they are in the ministry for all the ways the church takes care of them. Sermons aren't even organized until sometimes Friday, which is frustrating for everyone else involved with Sunday services... I just don't know. It's very discouraging to see how this minister can get away with so much... I suppose this congregation really is just desperate to keep a minister, even if they are border-line narcissistic.

Any insight regarding this situation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Hi friends! I think I mentioned in my previous post that I’m starting a new role at a Unitarian congregation, primarily as an office administrator and tech person.

Cheesy as it sounds, it’s more than just a job—it’s an opportunity to contribute to my community.

One way I find I can really connect with people is through humor and technology. I remember seeing a few amazing Unitarian-themed dad jokes here, including a great one about a Jehovah’s Witness.

I’d love to hear all of your best Unitarian dad jokes so I can spring them on my colleagues, and maybe make a video and hopefully make everyone either laugh or groan laugh!

Thanks in advance for your help!

Hello everyone!

As someone new to this vibrant community, I'm still navigating the nuances of our shared humor and what's considered tasteful. I've noticed that this community balances a deep sense of spirituality with an open-minded approach to diverse perspectives, which is refreshing!

I came across a joke that I found amusing, but I want to make sure it aligns with the general sensibilities here. I know it's folly to generalize about any group of people, but generally speaking, is 'chill' a good word to describe you kind folks?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mfaAbsa95fk

Does anyone have any good UU podcast recommendations? I grew up catholic and then came out as a trans man and well, that ended there lol. But I really love what the UU church stands for in their seven principles and just want to learn more about it and/or hear old sermons :)

Thanks!

I pray in my living room every Saturday night and I was wondering if other UU's did that

I am going to church again after a decade long absence. I deconstructed away from church of Christ to atheism. And recently began attending my local UU. I'm excited and plan to become a member.

But today I felt something I haven't felt in years: post Sunday service and lunch exhaustion. I went to the 45 minute inquirers class at 11am and had light lunch at Flower Child after. This is different in that when I attended CoC, we went to class around 9am, worship at 10am, and then had a large lunch. I remember always feels so miserably exhausted, noting under eye irritation as well. I chalked this up to me not wearing my hearing aids regularly (having to compensate and strain) and having undiagnosed insomnia.

Writing this I realize I was straining to hear in class and in the restaurant (no hearing aids) but I haven't worn the hearing aids regularly in months.

Is something that anyone else can relate to?

You all aren’t going to like what I have to say so let me give some context. I am a white man in his forties that was born and raised a democrat by a poor single mother. My wife and social circles are for the most part very liberal. We go to a Unitarian universalist church. I lived my whole childhood in diverse neighborhoods, and was one of a few white kids in my school at one point. I have three mixed children. I was poor. I remember eating only bisquick and powdered milk for a week at one point, and my mother needed social programs to help us survive. I’ve had many minority and gay friends over the years and a large portion of my extended family are minorities. I’ve got a nephew and babysitter who are trans, and very close gay friends and family members. I care a great deal about these people and want a safe and fair future for all of them. I’ve kept my mouth shut on these topics for a long time out of fear retribution and that is why this post is anonymous.

Despite some of my disadvantages I’ve gone on to be middle management. I manage a large department and I’m accountable for a lot of people. I’m fairly well known in my field to the point where I wouldn’t want to air publicly what I’m feeling now for fear it would impact my career. I’m highly educated from a good school in psychology and an MBA, with a very strong technical and analytical background in statistics and data.

I was shocked and disappointed and upset when Trump was elected the first time. I’m a student of history and I read it for fun. There are clear patterns that recur over and over. Populism, scapegoating, escalating rhetoric, targeting of political opponents and their loved ones in a very personal way are all standard lead ups to civil war and genocide. It happens quickly, much more quickly than people think. So I started monitoring the conservative side to make sure they weren’t taking those critical next steps of dehumanization, and ‘disappearing’ critics or identifying key people to target.

So I started monitoring the conservative side. What were they pissed about? What were they complaining about, why were they mad at the people they were mad at. What were the philosophies that they were subscribing to that made them take the stances they were taking? Once I filtered out the conspiracy theories and racist nonsense that was pure propaganda, some of the concerns started to make sense. I was shocked that I actually agreed with some of it. When I tried to discuss with people I thought would be fairly understanding and reasonable, I was met with vitriol and dismissive attitudes.

Social issues seem to be the subject that causes the most emotional pain for people and why everyone is pissed off on both sides. There are a couple easy steps to piss off group Y:

1. Tell them their pain isn’t as important as group Xs
2. Take their money and give it to group X while Y is struggling.

For the most part, in the United States, white men are saddled with the label of antagonist in most special interest stories(because they are). The history is pretty clear, they have been in charge, they have created the rules, and oftentimes those rules were created to support white men, or hold down group X.

Most of the current liberal strategy for addressing racial and social inequality seems to revolve around attempting to ‘educate’ or instill white guilt, and being overtly aggressive towards even perceived racism.

Instilling white guilt isn’t working for a lot of whites, especially white men. For me, this strategy doesn’t work. It assumes the target believes in original sin and feels a sense of responsibility for the crimes of their father. I don’t believe in original sin. I didn’t own slaves, I didn’t kill indigenous people, I didn’t invade anywhere and rape and pillage. I am not responsible for the crimes of people that look like me in a different generation and I got no inheritance as a result of those crimes, so I’m guilt free. “But you have benefited”. Have I? I don’t see it, and there are few people who can have their current wealth tied to old money that was made from oppression. A lot of the institutions responsible for those crimes are long gone, or already paid restitution. Go after the ones that haven’t.

Stop dismissing my pain and other white men’s pain because something a distant relative may or may not have been involved with. Stop being prejudiced and bigoted toward me. My dad was a dick and I refuse to take responsibility for his actions. I’m my own person, if you want to pay your parents debts, go for it, but I won’t. I’m not going to apologize or voluntarily take a penalty in life for crimes I didn't commit(who would?). It's a non-starter. I feel backed into a corner on this and I’m sure a majority of white males would agree, but we are all afraid to voice it. When I’ve raised discrimination or dismissal of white male concerns in liberal circles, I was at best dismissed, at worst I’ve been labeled a sexist or racist. So I don’t talk about it anymore with them.

“Speak your truth and confront racism when you see it” isn’t working. If every time somebody makes an off color joke, or makes you uncomfortable and you confront them, you just isolated yourself and increased the polarization of the country a little more. People who make others uncomfortable aren’t invited to the next party. The party you aren’t invited to will be a little more racist next time. Pick your battles. So put up with some discomfort in the interest of forming some relationships. What I’ve found is that many liberals have really poor judgment on what is prejudicial behavior. You all should not trust your own judgment.

Turn the aggression off completely in social settings if you are smart, and only confront people you are especially close with, and even then be selective and don’t make it a choice between you and X behavior. Just let them know you don’t like it. Gently. Stop being dicks.

I went to a racial sensitivity and awareness teaching seminar put on by my very liberal church. It spanned several weekends and frankly I wasn’t initially scared to discuss my frustration and pain. When I did express it, I was basically told by a feminist liberal elitist sociology college professor that my opinion didn’t matter because I was a white man, I’m not published, and I haven’t studied the subject enough. I was shocked at the interaction and it hit me that she was the cliche stereotype they talk about in conservative circles! Needless to say I felt marginalized and that my opinion and voice wasn’t valued. I didn’t talk much after that and don’t intend to any time soon.

I refuse to participate in the ‘white supremacy culture’ storyline. It lumps me in with prejudiced groups just because of who I am. I do not live in a nazi, kkk culture and it is insulting to imply that I do. I understand what they are trying to sell, and that whole theory has some weight, but for the love of good marketing of the ideas, stop associating it with Nazis and white supremacists. Labeling anybody who disagrees with your theories as a racist isn’t productive, and cuts down lines of communication.

Emotionally what finally shut me down completely was when the term ‘white tears’ was said to me after I expressed some frustration. Somebody used that phrase on me which basically implies… You are white, your problems aren’t as bad as mine because you aren’t a part of an oppressed group. It's dismissive and racist. People are just people. Their pain is all equally important. Your pain isn’t special. Aggression begets aggression, and indifference begets indifference. So while at one point in my life diversity and inclusion were important to me, they aren’t anymore. The people pushing for those things don’t care about me and my pain, so why should I care about theirs?

Stop taking money by gunpoint via taxes from group Y and giving it to group X. You want to start a special education program that is economic needs based and not race or special interest specific, I’m onboard. Economic help, sure, social programs for the needy, put it on the ballot. As soon as a program excludes white people, you are just taking their money. No special race related economic programs and scholarships. It isn’t justice for all If I can’t qualify for it as a poor white male who needed help. If a group is disadvantaged, they will disproportionately benefit from those programs and will begin the process of closing the gaps that history gave us.

Side note:

That race relations seminar stuff was a major echo chamber with about 22 white women, 3 white guys and an Indian. So much elitist unintentionally racist stuff was said during the meetings it was difficult to sit through. White savior complex is strong with the UUs. Stop talking about minorities like they are special and need your protection because they are helpless and disadvantaged. They are just people, some of them need help, some of them don’t, and some of them are assholes and racists too. A white lady almost cried when talking about a conflict she had with a black woman over the course of 3 years. She had asked if the person was from a cardinal area of the city not realizing that area was a slum. The black lady took offense and tortured her for 3 years until it finally blew up. Instead of just acknowledging that the black lady was probably just a jerk, the white lady had internalized it and was still trying to figure out what she had done wrong years later. Stop the white guilt… sometimes people are just assholes regardless of race.

Affirmative action, diversity and inclusion training etc is a problem for all of us, not just white men. I was raised to value diversity and equality and I still feel this way, but the implementation of these policies has hurt us as a country and let me tell you the story and experience that changed my position.

About 8 years ago I was a middle manager in corporate America with an organization with about 100 people in it. I had a group in need of a manager and the pool of candidates was fairly small. Of the internal candidates, several men and a woman applied for the role. Gail was by far the most experienced in the team's duties from my perspective, and none of them had leadership experience. I promoted her into the position and after a few months in the role, she was still learning and made mistakes occasionally. I had anticipated this and expected that she would need some time to adjust and learn. I was coaching her. This is where it started getting contentious. She wouldn’t take direction or adjust, insisting that she knew what she was doing. From my perspective none of the issues were a big deal. The situation never even reached the point where I felt the need to write her up or start establishing a paper trail of concern with HR.

We had another failure where I told her she needed to take responsibility and ownership of an issue to get it resolved over the weekend. Gail went on medical leave the next week for mental health reasons which was a bit of a surprise to me since I hadn’t thought much of the situation. Strange, but whatever, her team didn’t care for her, and they all worked independent of her since she hadn’t lived up to the role yet.

She was gone for months, but still on the roster. She used up her PTO and went on medical leave. The group moved on without her and I promoted an Iranian/British guy who had stepped up in her absence. I didn’t think she would ever return.

Just as I was starting to forget about her completely, Gail filed a discrimination lawsuit against the company. There was a lot more to the suit than me, and I was not a named defendant, but she did reference her time under me and that she felt she was discriminated against by me. She mentioned that I had recommended her read “Nice girls don’t get the corner office” and that she felt she hadn’t been given the same leeway as her male counterparts. The book is a self help coaching book about being assertive that I recommend my managers read and it sits on my desk still to this day. All of the parts of the suit that pertained to me were nonsense and the fact that I had promoted her flew directly in the face of discrimination. I had given her an opportunity. She just hadn’t risen to the role, and didn’t seem to be able to handle the stress.

It changed my whole perspective on affirmative action and discrimination related legislation and lawsuits. I now had a completely different concern during the hiring and promotion process. I never took race, religion, sexuality etc into consideration previously. The most qualified person for the job was my attitude.

Now I viewed minority and female candidates as a threat. My livelihood was personally threatened because they have a special power that white men don’t. They can sue for discrimination much more casually. Even if they aren’t likely to win, it can drag your name through the mud and ruin your career and life. Every time I think about hiring or promoting some I have to ask myself how likely it is that I will get sued by them. Why take on the liability? Acting in my own self preservation interests now made me a racist?

I had a lot of soul searching to do. So I started to read the academic research on affirmative action, and diversity and inclusion efforts. What I found was typical of social science. Not much mathematics or predictive modeling, but a lot of postulating and assertion and theory. Truth seemed to be that nobody really has done what I would consider an objective based assessment of its effectiveness.

Then the situation got even weirder. Gail wanted her job back more than a year after she had left her role open. I had promoted her replacement officially once it was clear she wasn’t coming back so her old job wasn’t even available anymore. She wasn’t around and the work needed done. Her replacement had knocked it out of the park.

I was told by our legal department that I was required to find her an equivalent role within my organization and to treat her as if nothing had happened. Gail was looking to add a retaliation lawsuit on top of the one she had already filed, and denying her request would just make her case stronger.

So we brought her back onboard and we had a vacancy in another but similar area, so I slotted her in there… It wasn’t fair to the person who had earned that promotion, but hey… the company has to protect itself so Gail got her position back.

I was told I had to treat her just like every other direct report and have 1:1s, give direction and feedback etc. I refused to do so without HR present, and all meetings with her were recorded. I didn’t even explain to her why they were being recorded, she knew.

After a few months of zero expectations of her and having to spend two hours documenting every hour of work I did related to her area, she finally quit and moved on. She didn’t accomplish anything during that time period other than getting on everyone’s nerves.

I left the company and I don’t know what happened with the suit, but I suspect it was dismissed as most of them evidently are.

Over the years since then, I’ve had a number of employees with performance issues. The vast majority of people don’t go to HR or file a suit, but it is always a concern when you give feedback to some demographics. Will this turn into a suit or an HR accusation? I’ve had several situations where people felt upset and that they were being discriminated against, but the reality was that they just sucked at their jobs. I had an elderly employee, a black employee, and another female employee go to HR and complain over the years, but I was always way out in front of them with a paper trail before discussing the performance issues. I even had a white middle aged man claim he was being discriminated against which was comical.

In all those cases, even the white guy, they were already poor performers, so they were on the cut list when budgets got tight, but between the time when they filed a formal complaint with HR, and when the layoffs happened… They all sat in their offices, collecting a paycheck, completely untouchable, doing nothing, because as a disgruntled employee, we couldn’t trust them with critical deliverables for clients.

Reality check, affirmative action isn’t working and it causes a lot of social tension on a very personal level when you tell people they are being discriminated against. It is like telling someone there is a bear in the woods waiting to eat them. Bears are rare and rarely attack even when they are around, but they get paranoid and see bears everywhere.

If the system wasn’t punitive but rewarded diversity via tax credits instead, it would cause less social tension and probably be much more effective. Instead, at this point, I feel it is pushing us into more division, not less. Is discrimination wrong? Yea, but the incentives of the law make it punitive and it just isn’t working the way people thought it would. Racists just find ways around the law and it turns people into racists. I feel it is doing more harm than good at this point.

On the Wikipedia there are only a couple living ones that I’ve seen. Curious if anyone knows more?

Specifically I’d like to hire someone for a speaking engagement.

So me and my wife have been ex-christians for 4 years now. She's agnostic I'm atheist. Practice witchcraft on occasion. Normal shit. We are ungodly lonely. We live smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt and when we left the church we lost all our friends and family as we became "exiled" .

Anyway went to our local UU church and like it was cool but I don't understand it. I don't understand any of their core beliefs or unifying core messages. Everything I see is "Oh it's everything" but like yeah... Why? Why have church without the core of what makes a church. It's like a pencil with no lead to me. Can any of y'all explain it to me?

I have my daughters baptism coming up soon and I’m looking for readings.

Thought I’d ask here for some inspiration please

So my wife was raised in UU, and I see the value her experience had for her in her very different upbringing.. I was raised in Christian churches (evangelical and Episcopalian). I'm an atheist and don't like any form of organized religion. She wants to start bringing our two-year-old son to UU Sunday school citing the progressive and social values which we both share, but she found through church and I found outside of the church.

I've made it clear that I don't want him in a church of any kind, I feel like it taints one's ability to find where they want to be and who they are on their own, even if said religion is about exploration. She's insistent and this could honestly be a breaking point for us. I've said if she wants him to go she has to be ok with me sharing my views on churches and religions. She claims that I'm saying I'd be actively trying to sabotage our son's experience. I feel like I don't have a choice as if we split over this then she'd take him to church when I'm not with him, if I repair this and let her take him then I'm in a place of feeling like I would need to counter everything he's being told and sharing my view of religious frameworks as weak and dangerous.

How does this sit with other UUers? AITA? How does the radical inclusion of UU fit with the rejection of my desire as a parent to let our son come to his own decisions when he's old enough to seek out faith or the need for a religious community?

Edit: I have been to a UU Church, I have read a lot about UU, its beliefs and history, I'm on board with what yall are doing, I have read the RE materials and lessons, and it's great that atheists can go too, doesn't make it less of a church.

Edit II: it's pretty disappointing that the vast majority of replies have tried to sell me on your church and missed the point. I really appreciate the very thoughtful replies and consideration all the same.

Edit III: I think I misspoke, by teaching him the opposite, I meant teaching my views on the idea of churches/religion, ideas around why people need groups and others don't. I'll teach my son about racism and bigotry/non belief in science but from the perspective of how people can become misguided, hurtful amd wrong

I have searched for years for a place where I’m fine with people but to no avail. I think the internet is mostly comprised of jerks. I’m misanthropic. I’m antireligious. I’m anti trans ideology. But I want to put that aside because I think this sort of group is one that I could actually get along with people. I’m tired of being alone or being around people who think it’s ok to call a creator’s work ass or whatever. Because that is the best I could find in years of searching. That or people who excuse such behavior.

I've been a member of congregations in a couple of cities over the years, but never could commit to the one in my current city because I just couldn't deal with more dull sermons and services. Every one I've seen is read word-for-word from a page, with little to no extemporaneous speaking, and such little passion.

Why does this seem to be such a common trait in UU churches? And does anyone have recommendations for UU churches that aren't like this that livestream their services online?

Please don't kill me if I've got this wrong, I googled my query and Unitarian Universalist Association came up as an answer. Does the UUA, on the religious side, not believe in Hell and the Devil? Again if I'm wrong, my sincerest apologies.

Hello all. I am just curious to what UU's actually believe?

I consider myself a Secular Humanist, so it sounds like in that regard, it rolls with how I feel.

There's a movement among UUs (and I guess the liberal community in general) that any public speaker will begin by providing a self-description, for the benefit of any visually impaired people in their audience. My own congregation started doing this recently when a legally blind person started attending. (I'm unsure how involved she was personally in starting that practice with us, but I do know our minister started recommending it be done, and doing it herself, once this person started attending.)

Example, if I were introducing myself: "I am a middle-aged white man with greying brown hair and a bald spot, wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans, and I use glasses."

It's always bugged me for some reason, and I think I've figured out why. A couple of reasons.

I'm not blind, but I do have a visual impairment in the form of reduced color vision (I hate the word "colorblind" because it implies black-and-white vision, which most of us don't have.) It's not something you would necessarily know about me unless I bring it up.

But for the people who do know this about me -- it hasn't happened much but is has happened, that people I meet decide I need a description of what they're wearing. I get they're trying to be inclusive, but when it happens to me as a non-blind person it feels really patronizing.

I also put the question into Google to see what other people are saying about it. I found several corporate DEI boards who are recommending it. I also found a thread over on /r/blind where they talked about this practice. It's a couple of years old, but it was the only place I found from within the Blind community -- the only place where their voices are centered. It was a small sample but it was mostly unanimous, they don't want this. They feel it's a distraction.

With one noticeable exception - if your physical appearance is relevant to what you're talking about, then go for it. They used the example of a presentation on wheelchair accessibility, it would be useful to know if the speaker themselves is actually a wheelchair user. Other than that, they recommend avoiding the practice.

Anybody else have any experience/thoughts on this question?

To be up front - I do not think so and I think interpreting it that way is dangerous for our culture, especially in an American context, because it otherizes a lot of really great people.

I am watching General Assembly. Several clergy members / leaders have referred to people watching as "beloveds" as a group term, including President Betancourt. As in "Good morning, beloveds, it is good to be here with you today".

While it's clearly well-intentioned, and I am not offended..... my knee-jerk reaction is that it feels culty. From the same universe as "under his eye". It's ritualistic, odd. It also evokes Toni Morrison's novel, one of the most horrifying stories I have ever read, and I am a huge horror novel fan.

I don't know what faith or cultural tradition this comes from, and I would like to learn more.

My daughter is 4 and has started to ask a lot of theological questions, especially after visits with my very religious Christian in-laws. I’m fine with that exposure, but I would like to help her put Christianity in the context of other religions and beliefs.

I grew up in a UU Church, and really appreciate the liberal religious foundation it gave me, especially through our Sunday School curriculum, but it’s REALLY tough getting up and out to our “local” (30 min drive) UU service with little kids.

I would love any recommendations for UU children’s books or even RE curriculum that we could do at home! Thanks so much 🙏

Hopefully this post will be welcome here. Please be kind, as I'm genuinely searching for what feels right/authentic to me, spiritually.

I grew up in an extremely conservative, devout Catholic home, and have followed Church teaching to the T throughout my life, but only recently have discovered how much trauma I have as a result of this upbringing. Essentially, I had very controlling parents, and was raised within very controlling religious parameters. I was raised -- at least on a subconscious level -- to believe that love is something that is earned by being "good" and following the rules, rather than as something that is freely given. I learned that if I clung to my devout Catholic identity and conservative beliefs, I would be accepted and loved by not only my parents, but by God. Any deviation from this meant rejection by the family unit at best, and eternal damnation at worst.

I'm currently at a point where, after 30 years of sacrificing my own personal beliefs and desires to comply with not only my family's expectations, but Church teaching, I can simply no longer do it. I still go to Mass every week, but I have a million questions about many of the doctrines we're told we MUST believe and follow, otherwise we risk hell.

That doesn't feel like a loving God. That doesn't feel like a merciful God. How are we supposed to believe that God is perfect love if he rejects us for things like using contraception, struggling with sexuality, or any other number of areas that don't perfectly align with Church teaching?

All of that said, I've found myself increasingly drawn to UU in a way I never thought I would be to any other spiritual group. Actually (don't laugh), my interest stems from a close alignment with American Transcendentalism, which no longer exists but seems to continue on in UU. Your 7 principles are beautiful to me -- they feel like the polar opposite of the trauma and spiritual abuse I've endured growing up, and I'm encouraged by your church's openness to everyone, not just those who fit a particular worldview or abide by a specific set of doctrines.

At my core, I think I will always love God (Jesus, in particular) in a way that renders me incapable of fully detaching from the beliefs with which I was raised, but I want to start living in a way that feels more true to who I am and what I want, rather than who I'm told to be and what I'm told to believe.

Be straight with me: do you believe some version of Catholicism and UU can coexist? Or are the two just so incompatible that one must choose one or the other in selecting a spirituality?

I recently started attending my childhood UU fellowship again and I'm looking for education opportunities! I'm getting involved with out youth as a volunteer and I really see myself in it for the long haul.

I'm interested in whatever you all suggest! Paid, free, books, conferences, etc!

In my youth I attended several GAs when they were in person and I loved them.

Many UU professional are using JETPIG as shorthand for the new (not voted but obviously coming) article II values. Justice, Equity, Transformation, pluralism, Interdependence, generosity = JETPIG.

There are mascots, graphics, memes. One example here.

I can't stand that short-distance air travel and an animal mostly factor farmed are "cute" ways to talk about our values. It feels gross to me, personally, as a UU. I know there are people who will see this and think mmmmm Bacon!!!

I personally don't think it's funny or cute or represents us and I hope I'm not alone.

Folks:

This is a bit unusual. I am looking for anyone here who is attending or have attended the First Unitarian Universalist Societ Of San Francisco.

I want to ask those who have been at UUSF as to whether there mostly gay men or lesbians. I am facing frustration here in Bellingham Unitarian Fellowship due to the severe lack of available gay men versus abundant availability of lesbians.

My background included meeting my one and only love at the Metropolitan Community Church of San Francisco, where there were a lot of gay men available. He had died of cancer back 1981 and I have been alone since, hoping to find another man in a church setting.

I am curious as to weather my situation here in Bellingham is common, or are we unique with this problem. I am just curios with UUSF, being in the queen city, if they are having a similar situation.

Thank you

Love

Mark Allyn

Bellingham, Washington

Please discuss the proposed Article II changes in this thread. You can read more about them here: https://www.uua.org/uuagovernance/committees/article-ii-study-commission/final-proposed-revision-article-ii

It seems like these days most of the posts here are by folks posting lop-sided articles with leading titles about the voting on the Seven Principles

While the discussion is important, it seems to be the same thing, over and over again

How about a weekly mega-thread for discussion around the vote. Pin it to the top of the sub. All articles go there

Edit: The phrase I was looking for was Article II discussion, not Seven Principles

The delegates at UUA GA 2024 will conduct the final vote on replacing the Seven Principles and Sixth Sources (which are in Article II). At last year's GA (General Assembly, 2023), the delegates were encouraged to vote for the proposed changes, with the argument that a "yes" vote would enable UUs to "continue the conversation" in the coming year.

I wish that the UUA and UUMA had truly encouraged congregations to hold deliberative conversations, to discuss both sides of the issue, in preparation for selecting GA delegates. Instead, the UUA/UUMA have been mostly either promoting the changes, or have been assuming that the changes are a done deal (for example, in the preparation of new religious education (RE) materials). Personally, I feel the whole process has been manipulative, and at odds with encouraging the democratic process; the UUA/UUMA have not encouraged congregations and individual UUs to form wise and responsible opinions on the matter.

The situation is so bad that many UUs are still blissfully unaware that their beloved Seven Principles may well be voted out, in just three weeks. If it happens, it will be a surprise to too many.

One congregation that held a deliberative conversation was UUCJ (Jacksonvile), which held a workshop in which presentations were given on many aspects of the issue. The church has made their presentations available here. The result of their their vote was summarized in a letter to other congregations; PDF version here.

Other resources are: the Save the Seven Principles website and Facebook group; UU the Conversation; and the UUA's promotional/RE material.

The GA vote will be held in about three weeks--this is worth becoming a delegate to vote on, or discussing with your congregational delegates to GA.

EDIT: changed "One of the few congregations to hold a meaningful conversation ..." to "One congregation that held a deliberative conversation..." In my view, if the "conversation" is merely a one-sided presentation of promotional material, and doesn't involve deliberation and debate, so that people can discern the issues at hand (and then vote or otherwise reach consensus), then it isn't very meaningful.

Is making n syncretizing one legitimate r only if I was in altered state of consciousness for every scribing session so its not man creating god(s) in his image?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXptmBE3QFo

Ken Burns and Kristina Tippett, shared by a member of our congregation. At about 18:40, they start talking about the role of religion needing to be reclaimed, and I think that what UU has tried and failed to do in the last few decades, and still needs to, is in there somewhere.
I think we have a long road to figuring out, to summoning a kind of common moral vocabulary, not just for being religious, but for being alive, being human beings in this century. I will say that I have never in my lifetime felt that overtly theological language, or let's say spiritual technologies, that our great traditions have carried forward like contemplation, that those things have never been more relevant than they are before. Just language, like language which has practices attached, which is true of our, you know, lamentation, confession, repentance, redemption. Those are words and actions that come to us from this part of the human enterprise, nowhere else, and I see people reaching for those. I see young people reaching for what those things represent for, you know, being drawn to that language, being drawn to communities of service for example. Even without this upbringing, I think a lot, I have thought a lot in these recent years about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German theologian. Bonhoeffer's situation was that, in Nazi Germany, the church had been absolutely co-opted by fascism. It had fallen away completely. And he began to speak of something called religionist Christianity. And what he was saying is that Christianity had brought truths into the world which would survive even if the institutions failed. And he said the institutions will always fail. I don't think you can make a one to one comparison of Bonhoeffer's Germany and 21st century America, but this notion of religionless Christianity or religionless religion feels resonant to me. And not just in the fact that we are religionless, you know, compared to previous generations, but what that means is that we are inside this project of looking again at what those truths are that we need, and those, really, those moral muscles, and again, those spiritual technologies.
There is also a transcript if like me you would rather read than listen.

To start, UU membership and the number of congregations is at a historic low, and has historic annual losses in the last several years. Even with the national population increases, the UUA now has the lowest number of members, congregations, and RE membership in church history. There no doubt are a variety of reasons for this, including general trends of membership losses in many churches.

I am curious as to what others here believe are contributing causes?

If you wish, you can include ideas on how to help increase membership. There's little question that most congregations are comprised of aging white leftists. How to attract a younger generation, especially young adults with kids, is a pressing concern at my congregation.

Another question might be: Does it matter that UU membership and congregation numbers matter?

Thanks in advance!

Preface: I am currently 23. Was going over old google documents and found it

I sometimes feel as though my search for something more is just that. I’m searching. I know deep down inside, that I will never be satisfied with one answer, but that’s why I like Unitarian Universalism so much. Seekers after truth; remember? It gives me the freedom to keep seeking for my truth. I have the feeling that, I will keep trying to find my truth, over and over again. I also have the feeling that I will do it as a Unitarian Universalist. I understand that my beliefs could change at and I don’t want to put myself in a box. At this moment, though, I feel as though I truly am a Unitarian Universalist. My values align with the Seven UU principles already. The two principles that really stand out to me, and that I probably appreciate the most are:

the need to respect the interdependent web of all existence

and

the acceptance of one another

.

I will probably re-write my Statement of Faith over and over in my mind, and I might regret a few things, but I know that I will never regret being apart of this fellowship. It has taught me so many life lessons already that I will continue to carry with me as I become an older, and hopefully a more compassionate person. I will try to never doubt myself too much and let other people’s prejudice define me, and no matter what, I will continue to be who I am, forever a seeker of my own truth.

Thank you for listening.

This summer they plan to vote on replacing the 7 principles with the "Shared Values Flower" (https://www.uua.org/uuagovernance/committees/article-ii-study-commission/article-ii-flower-graphic). Does it look like there will be enough votes for it to succeed?

The Unitarian Universalist Church of Jacksonville Florida letter (signed by the minister, board president, and Article II Task Force Co-Chairs, and approved by the Board of Trustees) explaining the reasons for the congregation's overwhelming vote of No (84 No votes to 4 Yes).

Link to letter: letter to congregations.5.13.2024.pdf - Google Drive

The text:

May 11, 2024

UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH OF JACKSONVILLE

[Address redacted]

Dear Congregation Leadership and Members,

After more than 12 months of engaging our congregation in research, in-depth discussion and discernment, the Unitarian Universalist Church of Jacksonville has voted with an overwhelming majority for our delegates to vote to reject the amendments to Article Il at the upcoming Unitarian Universalist Association General Assembly.

From its beginnings, Unitarianism has attracted individuals who seek to examine their relationship to the transcendent and have engaged in exploring their connection to spiritual practices in matters of faith. What many of these individuals have in common is the invitation Unitarian Universalism extends to them to bring their questioning minds, and their reasoning to a beloved community that values diversity in its fullest meaning (theology, religious background, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, ability, financial status, political preferences, etc.); and to share with others their expansive hearts ready to practice unconditional love.

The Beloved Community sustains individual belief systems and practices and provides the seven principles and six sources as the glue that bonds individuals to the whole. The seven principles illuminate the path of moral and ethical living, foster personal responsibility and accountability, and call for promoting universal justice, impartiality, interdependence, and the democratic process. The six sources provide wisdom of the ages, from voices from the millennia to our current voices, that open the heart and demand action for eliminating unjust practices wherever they may be. That is why we will continue to be guided by the seven principles and six sources of wisdom.

As a matter of practice, Unitarian Universalism does not create, require, or enforce creeds or dogmas. There is no centralized seat of theological order. The absence of a hierarchical governance structure allows congregations to draft locally meaningful mission and vision statements; to choose its governance structure and practices; to hold its members accountable to its covenant; and to design justice-focused action plans focused on community needs.

We believe the proposed Article Il changes could pose grave consequences for Unitarian Universalism. We do not judge people's intentions; we look only at the facts. The change in the first line says it all. The current Article lI states, "We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association..." The proposed change begins with, "The Unitarian Universalist Association..." It is evident that there is an ideological movement to pivot the Unitarian Universalist Association from being an umbrella service body of the member congregations, to becoming a governing body that imposes its positions on congregations with consequences for those congregations and members that don't adhere to its edicts.

What we do know is our congregation and the Unitarian Universalist Association have been at the forefront of opposition to racism in the fight for racial justice. We are constantly reflecting and learning to ensure continuous improvement. However, there are accusations of being inherently racist to such a degree that we must reject our past, discount our history, and abandon the underpinning spiritual and ethical principles that guide us; replacing them with a set of nebulous values that anyone would be hard-pressed to recite, let alone define.

We are seeing concerning glimpses of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) Board plans to define the new values and to impose severe sanctions for congregations and individuals that don't adhere to them. Here are just three examples:

* Even before the upcoming vote, the UUA Board is setting up procedural policies of congregational accountability requiring congregations deemed to not be "doing the work" as defined by the UUA, to be in-need of some type of consequence.

* At the 2023 General Assembly, the delegates voted to remove the sentence "We will work to repair harm and damaged relationships" from the proposed amendment, but it was re-inserted by the UUA board, negating the vote of the General Assembly.

* The new value of "discipline of LOVE," as addressed by the Article Il Study Commission, is shorthand for "Doing the Work." According to the Commission on Institutional Change, that means focusing on fighting racism and oppression, and upholding multi-culturalism at the possible expense of other justice issues needing advocacy.

Our congregation has voted to reject the proposed amendments because the proposed changes:

* Use language that is divisive, and espouses practices based on blaming and shaming.

* Introduce a creedal approach to which all members would be required to adhere for a congregation to remain certified by the UUA.

* Expect that only individuals who share the UUA values may be welcome to join a congregation.

* Focus the reason for being a Unitarian Universalist solely on fighting racism and oppression, and upholding multi-culturalism, at the expense of other justice issues needing advocacy as determined by congregations.

* Dissolve the seven principles and six sources which have been the core of Unitarian Universalism and replace them with language that equates Unitarian Universalism to a socio-political organization rather than one that serves as a source of spiritual guidance.

* Reject an individual's right of conscience, the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large, and the free and responsible search for truth and meaning.

* Imply an authoritarian, hierarchical governance structure with UUA leadership at the top with the authority to judge congregations and declare congregations to be out of covenant setting up procedural policies of congregational accountability with consequences for congregations deemed to not be "doing the work."

* Conflict with congregational polity and the rights of congregations to democratically choose their mission, covenant, their minister, and governance structure.

The importance of your congregation's discernment regarding the proposed changes to Article Il cannot be overstated.

Sincerely, Meg Rohal President Peter Racine Lay Minister Marge Powell Article II Task Force Co-Chair Fresie Tessie Bond Article Il Task Force Co-Chair

He has yet to respond as I know it's a lot for him to unpackage and, knowing him, come up with a rebuttal. But I love my father and I know he loves me and I'm hoping that the love I know and experience he too can! I'm hoping he can strip fear from his life and personal theology, so that he can walk in a fuller and deeper understanding of love. Love Wins y'all, love wins!

Hi fellow UUers

I’m relatively new to the UU realm but found my home at my local UU church and we are having our kids dedicated on Sunday.

I’m curious to learn standard practices as a gift to the minister. Does the parent typically give a card and gift to the minister for the dedication? Our current minister was here for an interim period and will be moving on at the end of June. Should I wait and give her a gift then as a thank you for dedicating our babies AND for helping make my UU church our “religious home”?

I’m just curious what is standard in this practice. I’m not historically religious so I have no foundation to compare it with. I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing.

Thanks!

Long-term UU from the Midwest, who will be visiting Pittsburgh on Sunday, June 9. I see there are six UU churches in the area, hoping to narrow down my choice for a church to visit that morning. Any Pittsburgh UUs who can help with my decision?

I want to express that I think the gardening metaphor that UU ministers, UUA staff, and other leaders have been using lately is beautiful. There are many ways I have seen it riffed on and I have also been inspired in my own layperson ministry and philosophizing. However, I want to express a concern. People are not weeds. Let's not use the gardening metaphor to treat anyone like an unwanted thing to be tossed aside. There are many philosophies around gardening. There are beautiful, wild, and even healing plants that might not pair well with an aggressively farmed monocrop system. With a deep ecological view, every plant and every person has a place where they might best thrive. All have an inherent dignity worth preserving and protecting, even the disruptive ones. It's important to keep healthy and respectful boundaries with other people in our own lives and within our congregations, but I’m not sure how to communicate that well within the gardening metaphor. How would all of you communicate this within the gardening metaphor?

Excerpt from the below-linked essay:

The current UUA, the two UU seminaries and some national UU groups are trying to transform UU from a liberal church into a fundamentalist utopian political collectivist movement.

Collectivists prioritize the movement's goals over individual rights, freedoms and liberties. Thus, throughout history, utopian collectivist religious and political movements have employed various methods that dehumanize their members. These methods include considering members primarily as generic categories and cogs in the system rather than unique individuals, removing basic civil rights and individual liberties, authoritarian governance, dogmatism and propaganda, undermining basic democratic rights, suppressing viewpoint diversity, and shaming and guilt-tripping members into compliance.

The classic book on this topic is social philosopher Eric Hoffer’s The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements.

The Unitarian Universalist Association’s systematic dehumanization of laity

I’m debating joining my local church and am spiritual in a sense, but I really want to join somewhere that does a lot of work helping others. Is UU that?

Yeah okay it's kind of embarrassing lol. I've been really interested in attending the local UU church, and think I might go if I can overcome my nerves. My local congregation has a website of what to expect, which is very helpful. The only problem is... they mention the congregation singing songs. Admittedly, I've never been to church, so my understanding of this could be completely off, but my impression is that we are gonna be singing along to some music. Like... me, the person to my left, the person to my right, and so on.

What would I do if they did start singing? I really don't have any idea what I'm expected to do. I know, it's so silly. Should I just kinda... sit and be quiet? Do I need to leave the room?

Like someone who loves religion in all forms and doesn't necessarily fit the mold of a certain religion but at the same time doesn't particularly enjoy radical (or really much at all) politics, left or right?

Hi everyone, I'm gathering material to maybe lead a lay-led service in a few months related to our topic for that month, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Some of the DEI training paradigms have become rather controversial. For those who might know more than me, can you point me to some good resources you are familiar with?

For example, I've read White Fragility and understand the controversy around that work. I have also found a program I personally think looks good, called Theory of Enchantment, but I haven't found any reviews of their programs yet. Anyway, thanks everyone. I'm looking for good quality information and I expect people in this conversation to keep a respectful tone toward those who disagree with them and keep opinions in the practical realm. Thanks in advance.

Hi - my husband and I (both mid-20s) just learned about the UU Church. He grew up Catholic but left the church several years before we met, and I grew up atheist. We are both interested in starting our own spiritual journeys, but are also seeking community in general.

If anyone here is a member of the UU Church of Greater Lansing - what has your experience been like? Is there active discussion of the big topics listed on the UUA website - “The existence of a Higher Power, Life and Death, Sacred Texts, Prayer and Spiritual Practices”? Are there other young adults <35 there?

I also noticed some dialogue (and seemingly some controversy) regarding the upcoming vote on an amendment to Article II. Is that relevant to what goes on in the churches themselves, or is it more of an organizational issue that doesn’t affect day-to-day?

Thanks in advance! We appreciate any insight you can provide.

How covenants are used as ideological weapons in Unitarian Universalism

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'In his open resignation letter from the UU Ministers’ Association (UUMA), longtime UU minister Rev. Alex Holt wrote: “In a few short years, the ‘rules’ (so-called ‘guidelines’) have been radically changed to fit a new norm of covenant and accountability that seems to forget the foundations upon which they were based.”'

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Educational psychologist Patricia Mohr Ph.D., who criticizes the UUA's new approach, writes, “Covenants are dangerous when there are no rules for veracity, when the only ‘fact’ is the perception of the victim-- and the victim is always the most marginalized/oppressed person. It's a recipe for resentment and division, not diversity. This is why any organization needs rules for addressing conflicts. It's why empiricism, reliability, and validity are the heart of science.”

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There's a townhall meeting this Wednesday (4/24/2024) evening to discuss the upcoming GA vote to replace the Seven Principles with the Six Covenants (+ Love). It's at 8:00 PM Eastern, 7:00 PM Central, 6:00 PM Mountain, 5:00 PM Pacific.

Register at "UU the Conversation".

The website also has a video library discussing the changes. One particularly informative video is Much Ado About Article II: "The video explores the “why” behind the changes to Article II ... The answers are in the years of UUA reports and working group recommendations ... This video provides easy access to that information."

is there any kind like prosses you have to do to become a uu or is it more just showing up to a local group

I'm considering UU since you can believe in any god you want or none at all, but I did some googling and found the gadfly controversy. I know UU is progressive, if I'm center-left (resoundingly for a lot more police accountability but not ACAB or for public option health care but skeptical of a government monopoly on it especially post-Roe, but strongly against Republicans (even sane ones if post-2016 they're still choosing to associate with the GOP)) is that gadfly? Would those politics welcome? Am I worrying too much?

Every other month, we have a Family Fellowship Sunday where we host lunch for the congregation. Today we'll be doing Stone Soup, an appropriate way to wrap up our pledge drive.

We're quite a small congregation and I would love ideas to facilitate more of these events, but during evenings and weekends.

What Family-focused activities does your Fellowship offer?

I am a worship tech and occasional worship leader at my congregation. I often feel disconnected when I'm being the tech and even sometimes while leading worship.

Does anyone have techniques for being more present and having a spiritual experience while working the service? (I'm an apatheist humanist, so spontaneous prayer to divinity is unlikely to be helpful, but mantras are something I can try, regardless if they reference deity.)

Hi all - I am a millenial woman looking for my community within UU. As background, I was raised Catholic and was heavily involved in my church’s youth group and I’m no longer part of the Catholic Church but really missed the community. I found that UU really aligns with my values and was hoping it would fill that want for community.

The folks at the congregation are extremely welcoming but a majority of them are 60+ and retired and many of the events they hold are during the week during normal working hours. For example, they started a craft group to make things to sell at fundraisers - they meet at 1:30 on the first Tuesday of the month. Their “ladies lunch” is held at noon on the first Thursday of the month. I do not have the ability to attend these, or any other group, meetings.

There is a group within the congregation that consists of folks under the age of 40. But there isn’t presently any specific thing bringing us together with any regularity, beyond coffee hour after services - which not everyone can always stay for.

I’ve been considering reaching out to our minister about starting a group for younger members of this UU congregation. Before I propose this group I was hoping to see if anyone else’s congregation had a group like this and if so, do people actually come? And if they do, what topics do you discuss?

Tl;dr I’m considering if anyone else’s congregation has a group for younger congregants (gen x/millennial/gen z) that they could provide some insight into how that group functions and what topics it explores.

I am going to project this into the universe and see what comes of it. I've done this twice in the past year, and been amply rewarded, so it certainly can't hurt. This is an earnest and humble request, and I welcome your feedback and input, even those not on this path. Background: After working with my home congregation for a number of weeks, I think I know what I want - I want to be a member of an intensely spiritually-oriented and committed chalice circle that honors, appreciates and validates an authentic pursuit of spirituality which utilizes the tools of psychedelics to engage the divine.

While all members of my congregation that I've interacted with are supportive of whatever path any member chooses, I find that something is lost in terms of understanding between myself and my path and other church members who aren't pursuing a spiritual path in quite such a similar fashion. This leads to hesitancy on my part in sharing and a sense of marginalization or having to hide some part of who I am from them, and that starts to feel very yucky. However, I need to honor their beliefs and experiences just the same.

I feel like there must be other members of the church in the same boat - and if you could point me in the right direction, I sure would appreciate it. Perhaps this has been thought about before, and there's a sub-group of the church that goes around quietly practicing in a super intense way with psychadelics, divining the messages between things, maybe called the children of Emerson or Thoreau's siblings... The type of people who would have been at the scene when the events of the electric kool-aid acid test were playing out. Again, this is me raising my hand and saying that I'm ready and wanting to connect with my church and my church community on this topic, validate this as a path within the church (perhaps bringing the matter to the general assembly) but less interested in the politics than in connecting with like-minded folks who are using every tool in the toolbox for their spiritual pursuits, especially this, what I would consider the most obvious one and certainly one of the most reliable.

What my hope is: To connect, bounce ideas off of one another and likely have an at least year-long chalice group (nationwide, probably) to discuss issues which face those of us at the intersection of these two important parts of our lives as practicing UU's and psychedelic seekers.

Thanks in advance.

UPDATE: I just want to say thank you to all of your beautiful people who engaged me on this topic even though I realize its kind of edgey; it was a true honest inquiry as I seek to understand my own spiritual journey and my place within my own congregation and the larger UU organization - thank you for your patience and grace, I really appreciate your support! Be well!

What kind of swag/giveaway items would be good to have at our table at a Pride event to promote our Welcoming Congregation? Anyone have good results with any items in bringing in new members to visit?

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Folks:

Some conversations I hear in my fellowship is the problem of absentee investors buying up lots of our housing stock.

I am asking this question here considering that we are mostly like minded and I am a bit afraid of going onto r/investing, which has over 1 million people and that I would be flamed to a crisp.

I wonder if it's okay for us to consider that absentee investors buying up local housing and preventing local ownership is unethical.

Would you agree?

Thank you

Mark Allyn

Bellingham, Washington

I’m new to the faith still and would love book recommendations! I am aware that there’s a wide variety of topics but if any of you have read something that really resonated and helped you along this journey I’d love to give it a try :)

I’m new to the UU faith and don’t have a community or congregation anywhere near me.

I’m just wanting to see if there’s anyone who would want to be friends :)

A little about me

• 24 y/o F
• practices Celtic and pagan spirituality paths
• from BC Canada !!
• 🍃🍃friendly

I'm Brazilian and got out of religion (ex-christian). Nothing against the minister of the church I were member but I became oversaturated with religion. Born and raised in a Christian family sometimes make it a one choice and others.... You know the rest.

My mom is a member of a Assembly of God church but when I was young I preferred the baptists because I considered (and kinda consider them in some ways as Moderates).

But as various protestants and neo-pentecostals churches do the thing like: The other religion follow the devil and yadda yadda. They will go to hell if they don't convert. I think you all know the rest. And when I begun to think more outside of the box even if I was on a slow pace or thinking outside but not much I still get annoyed because of some hypocrite behaviors and like: "We are good and the other religion is bad and worship the devil" but when you look the "devil worshiping people" you see them doing more to help people than "us".

In resume, got out and I feel better. Taking care of my mental and physical health. And I want to join something with the same ideals like mine so I chose UU. How can I learn more and how can I join?

Tl;dr: Ex-christian (Baptist / Brazilian Baptist Convention) who got oversaturated by religion because of being raised in a Christian family who wants to know more and thinks joining UU.

Sorry for the long text. And also, my English sometimes get broken. Also, writing this question inside a bus.

My church (close to Boston hint) has a problem with social media.

An instagram account never used and a facebook that posts the live transmission each Sunday. Need some advices friends of this fellowship of Reddit.

I have been thinking church is this two way street that getting to know each other makes people to know us as a church community. I need ideas but it feels the congregation faces melancholy of a past splendor or a past minister... I think getting to know each other is the first step of any outreach idea. An ongoing to know each other that keeps the theology of fellowship and unity alive. But, in my case, many of the church members say hi the first weeks and then go back to their groups of friends... I wish I could have more tools to sort dialogue and conversation with Congregations where most of its members are old beyond the age of Jesus Christ.