I wouldn't say it's the only factor in me dumping her but I'd say it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She's born and raised Conservative Jewish while I'm born and raised Unitarian.

We get stereotyped as being only nominally religious but that's not the case for me. I spend well over a third of my yearly income and spend on average about 28 hours a week at directly UU-related functions usually as part of an older Northeastern US fellowship but I'm also active in helping support smaller facilities and causes.

Of course I was plenty open to converting to Judaism, even an Orthodox conversion since that's usually what's preferred for marriage even among the most liberal Jews. However I made it clear that I would continue to be active in my community and would expect her to at absolute minimum be respectful of my participation.

I did my best to tell her about how many Jews see zero contradiction between their Jewish faith/identity and UUA.

Yet whenever I took her to services and other events she was disparaging, called it the "most goyish thing" she'd ever seen.

Without getting into too much of a rant, she went out of her way to be disrespectful to myself and others.

It got to a point where she was bringing it up to say that I'm not a real man, which burns extra deep since I'm a trans man.

Long story short I basically told her this was a dealbreaker for me and that we could either come to some sort of compromise or we could go our separate ways. She wouldn't budge so as much as it hurt, I dumped her.

It sucks because out of all the people I've dated she's someone I very deeply fell in love with. We were friends and Krav Maga sparring partners for about a year before we started dating but it looks like we won't be able to be friends, it's too raw and painful.

But there's tittles of pride in that I put up a boundary and stood my ground even when it was torture.

This isn't necessarily a call for advice more of a vent. Share your own insights and experiences if you want.

View Poll