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Are we living in a post truth world?

23 March 2024 at 11:00
Trump and a Post-Truth World: Wilber ...

Tom Nichol’s wrote a book entitled, The Death of Expertise, in which he describes the waning respect that Americans have for experts and the institutions they work in and represent.

Ken Wilber has a different take on the subject. Wilber writes in his book, Trump and the Post-Truth World, that we are living in the age of postmodernism whose main idea is that there is no truth. Truth is merely a social construction and one person's truth is as good as anybody else's. Postmodernism has brought us the world of "alternative facts" and what Wilber calls nihilistic narcissism and aperspectival madness.

If we believe that there is no truth, then how can there be experts based on knowledge which is true?

How can we know what is true personally and collectively? The scientific method is one such approach to measurable phenomena, but when it comes to aesthetic judgments and value judgements what are we to do? 

The moral compasses of old are badly broken when a man who brags about grabbing pussy when you're a celebrity is okay because "they let you do it," and "I could shoot someone on fifth avenue and they still would vote for me." And they did and made him their president. Moral accountability has been dispensed with because God is dead, or perhaps better stated, the belief in God (the good, the true, the beautiful) is dead. 

With God dead, that leaves us with the law, legislated in a democracy supposedly by consent of the governed, but then Citizens United led to the decision by the Supreme Court which, deciding the supreme law of the land, opined that corporations are the same as people and money is free speech. Legislators can now be bought by those with the funds to buy them to make the laws the corporate interests prefer and the welfare of the people be damned. And so in this moral environment, money is power wielded to enable the incentives of those who pay for it.  Accountability and justice can be thwarted by legal maneuvers and justice delayed is justice denied as we are now observing in the machinations of Donald Trump and his minions.

Truth is to be found eventually in results, consequences, and outcomes. The ability to see the truth requires the ability to observe systems, patterns, and longer term outcomes, to connect the dots, which is a competence few humans have achieved. The truth, it is said, will set us free, but most of us are so immersed in our own narcissistic thought system that we cannot find a place to stand to observe things in perspective. It is not expertise that allows a person to see the truth but objectivity and perspective giving one understanding of system dynamics and functioning.

Like the person who turns from Plato's cave wall and looks outside into the light, those of us who have seen the truth find it difficult, if not impossible, to communicate it to those who still are enthralled with the dancing shadows. Wilber states that only 5% of the population is at this level of consciousness. The rest are at a lower level of consciousness and like children at concrete levels of cognitive development still function with beliefs about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. 

How do Tom Nichols experts explain to a four year old that there is no Santa but actually it is the parent or other caring adult who brings the presents? The challenge in our modern society is to facilitate the further growth in consciousness and awareness in the bulk of the population. This facilitation is the work of the media and art. The media is failing and art has devolved to entertainment for “likes” rather than goodness, truth, and beauty. What is badly needed is for the 5% to continue to encourage, communicate, and create incentives for growth to increase its population share.

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Film review #1 - It Could Happen To You.

22 March 2024 at 21:13

It Could Happen To You, debuted in 1993, starring Nicholas Cage and Bridget Fonda is a story about a police officer who, having no money for a tip, tells the waitress he will split the winnings if he wins the lottery. She, of course, laughs him off and then he wins 4 million and splits it with her much to the chagrin of his wife.

This story is very uplifting and restores one’s faith in the goodness of people. Charlie, the police officer, is true to his promise and is intent on doing the right thing even though his wife and other people, including Yvonne, the waitress can’t believe he would actually follow through on his promise. Do people really do the right thing especially when there is money involved? Charlie is adamant several times that money doesn’t mean that much to him and that other things like honesty, loyalty, integrity are much more valuable.

Yvonne, the waitress, is, at first, reluctant to take the money but when Charlie insists that fair is fair, and a promise is a promise, she graciously, and gratefully accepts and a friendship ensues as Charlie and Yvonne come to know and respect each other better.

Can commitments to promises have negative consequences for the person who made the promise and others affected by it? And how should these negative consequences be managed and handled? The conflict engendered between Charlie and his wife, Muriel, leads the two of them to go in two separate directions with Muriel pursuing the pleasures of consumerism and buying things with her winnings while Charlie, not interested in material things, gets involved in community activities with the youth in his neighborhood.

So is winning the lottery a blessing or a curse? How does it change the winner and those close to them? If you promised someone, in passing, that you would split your lottery winnings with them if you win and you won, would you? What impact would your decision have on your life.

I give this film and 8 out of 10. It is worth watching and discussing.

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Anxiety is the pain of the soul

19 March 2024 at 18:59

Anxiety: MedlinePlus

Anxiety is often an indication that our intuitive sense is out of sync with our conscious mind. Our heart is telling us one thing while our head is telling us something else. Anxiety, in this context, is our very best friend. It is our soul or spirit trying to get us to consider the path we are on and perhaps to change course.

Nowadays anxiety is seen as pathological and we are encouraged to medicate it away either with prescription drugs or street drugs: legal and illegal. Medication, though, blurs our perceptiveness of our inner compass and can do our souls a disservice. The mature soul knows that anxiety for the spirit is like pain for the body, it is a warning that something is wrong and encourages us to check.

If we take our aches and pains to a doctor for a check, to whom do we take our anxious spirit? Who, in our society, is the doctor of the soul? It might be a professional such as a counselor or psychotherapist of some sort. It might be a member of the clergy. It might be a trusted friend or relative. Usually we seek relief in reverse order to the one above first seeking help from friends and/or family, then from a member of the clergy, and then from a mental health professional.

Anxiety, while painful, is good for us. Rather than avoid it, and medicate it, and distract ourselves from it, we are usually better off to acknowledge it, accept it, reflect on it, and learn from it.

Anxiety is an ambiguous form of fear. We feel afraid but we have nothing to tie our fears to – we can’t identify an object triggering our fear. So it may help next time you are feeling anxious to ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Being able to identify the object of our anxiety is the first step in rectifying our discomfort and distress. And then find someone to talk to about it. Grace occurs in our support and understanding of one another in such a way that what is bothering us becomes clearer as we are able to find words to name the trigger. Once we can name it, we can manage it. Without naming it, we are lost in our confusion, frustration, and fear.

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Approval can be like a drug.

13 March 2024 at 09:33

I went to church yesterday and the priest said in his homily that approval is like a drug.

I started thinking that he's right. Approval makes people high. Some people will do anything for it. I have known people who have cheated, lied, stole, killed, screwed, taken drugs just to make others happy so they can get their approval.

What is it that makes some people crave approval?

Low self esteem? Insecurity? Low self confidence?

Some people need to be loved by others because they don't love themselves, and because they don't love themselves they don't believe that anyone else could really love them either, and because nobody else seems to love them, they don't love themselves. Dog chasing its tail. Vicious circle.

Advertisers know how to play on this lack of love and craving for approval. That's how they sell their products. They tell us that if we wear these clothes, and use this perfume, and drive their car, then other people will approve of us and we will be happy.

My son worked with some guys who robbed the Olive Garden at 2:00 AM when they were closing. Got away with $258.00 to be split three ways for hip hop clothes for the rapper's concert coming up on Saturday night. Got caught. Got three to five in State prison.

I knew these kids' mother. She claims they didn't do it. My son says the guys were bragging about it looking for approval.

Preacher's right. Approval is just like a drug.

Some people will do anything for it. Even ruin their lives.

How to kick the habit?

When you quit, you go through withdrawal. You get depressed. You get anxious. You get paranoid thinking people are saying nasty things about you.

When you start being yourself and saying "No" to people, they start to wonder what's gotten into you. They will say that you are being bad, or that you are crazy, or that you are being disloyal and not wanting to fit in with the group any more.

You start finding new friends and new things to do. You start to realize that you are looking for satisfaction and fulfillment from using your talents and abilities in ways that you enjoy, and that you find following your interests rewarding. If people approve, that's great. If they don't, you still had a good time.

Having a mind of your own feels good. Standing on your own two feet feels solid. Counting for something which is important to you, gives you confidence.

Kick the habit, and be yourself. Take yourself out to dinner and see how you enjoy the company. Wherever you go, that's where you'll be, and you won't need the approval drug.

Remember the bumper sticker that says "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

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They paved over paradise and put up a parking lot.

12 March 2024 at 19:13

Many, many species disappeared from the earth then, but the one thing that never disappeared was the drive of evolution. New species arose, and the new species were even more successful in covering the planet than the former ones. Then another great extinction. Then another recovery. On and on. Change after change, sometimes separated by hundreds of millions of years, and sometimes by only tens of millions of years. Only tens of millions of years? Ha! When I stand next to a tree that is four hundred years old, it stretches my imagination to picture that seed germinating so long ago.

Maloof, Joan. Nature's Temples: A Natural History of Old-Growth Forests Revised and Expanded (p. 12). Princeton University Press. Kindle Edition. 

The tragedy to me is that we are now occupying so much possible forestland with concrete and asphalt and crops and cars and homes and mines and impoundments and the like that the ever-changing forest has fewer places in which to become what it will be next.

Maloof, Joan. Nature's Temples: A Natural History of Old-Growth Forests Revised and Expanded (p. 15). Princeton University Press. Kindle Edition. 

Evolution, we were taught, is about the survival of the fittest and this survival of the fittest depends on the species resilience and its ability to adapt to changing circumstances in its environment. Maloof points out the species extinctions over the millions of years of life on the planet as species disappeared and new ones came to take their place was/is not necessarily a bad thing when you consider the long range evolutionary consequences. In a natural system this idea makes sense  but what happens when human beings interfere and destroy life sustaining resources laying down asphalt and concrete? Can the weeds and trees as easily grow through and can evolution run its natural course?

Joni Mitchell’s song, Big Yellow Taxi, could be the rallying song for the Old-Growth Forest Network 

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A model for psychological forgiveness

11 March 2024 at 19:17

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Introduction

As mentioned in the previous introduction to the essay on spiritual forgiveness I work with two models of forgiveness: the spiritual model and the psychological. This psychological model is based on a systems conceptualization of restoration of equity, fairness, in a relationship. Restoration of fairness does not necessarily mean reconciliation but it does mean the reparation of the harm that was done and a restoration of “right relationship.”

These two models can, of course be used together as there is much overlap although spiritual forgiveness can be done I believe without psychological forgiveness although psychological forgiveness may make spiritual forgiveness easier.

In psychology there is the idea that forgiveness should be done for the benefit of the forgiver not necessarily for the benefit of the forgiven. Research shows that harboring grudges, resentments, bitterness is bad for one’s physical and emotional health. To forgive, to let go, frees one physically, mentally, and emotionally from the servitude of nursing past injustices, and liberates one to move ahead freely into the future.

At a spiritual level also, masters such as Jesus taught us that to forgive is divine. To rise above injustices on the earth plane allows one to focus on the big picture, the transcendent, and to realize that injustices are petty and insignificant in the long run. “It all comes out in the wash” as they say. As Richard Carlson says, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.” To rise above injustices is to see them in context. To understand the context, the circumstances and false thinking that lead to the transgression in the first place contributes to an awareness that helps us make sense of the injustice so that we can take it less personally. So often it’s not that people are unwilling of doing the right thing, of treating us better, they are incapable; they are just incompetent. There is a difference between being unwilling and being incapable given who the person is, how he/she is wired, where they are coming from. Most injustice, requiring forgiveness, is born out of a lack of awareness, and being stuck in the person’s egotistic thoughts, desires, and motives, they do stupid things. Stupidity does not require punishment as much as education, enlightenment. And so forgiveness, as an interpersonal skill and strategy for spiritual growth, requires four steps.

Step One

The first step of forgiveness requires that the forgiver has the right and opportunity to have his/her say about what he/she believes the injustice is. Everybody deserves his/her day in court, for the record if not in person. Even after the offender has died, the forgiver still deserves the opportunity to have his/her say about what the injustice is. If the offender is sincere about reconciling, the offender needs to give the forgiver a hearing, to allow the forgiver to name the injustice and how it has affected him/her. So often the offender doesn’t want to hear how the forgiver thinks and feels about the situation, or what the forgiver perceives as unfair and unjust. The offender might say, “Get out of here! I’m not listening to your nonsense!” Having a hearing, getting your day in court, for the record if not in person, is the first step in the forgiveness process.

Step Two

The second step is getting an explanation. The forgiver has a right to hear what the circumstances were that contributed to the injustice occurring. This takes time. It takes digging which may take some time to understand, in any comprehensiveness, what the myriad of factors were that contributed to the injustice occurring. The explanation is not a justification, or a rationalization, an excuse, or cop-out. The explanation is an honest, and sincere attempt to examine the unfair situation, to understand how it occurred so that it never happens again, and that something of value can be learned from a hurtful situation. Hopefully, we “live and learn” as they say. If we don’t learn from mistakes and injustices we are doomed to repeat them.

Step Three

The third step is a genuine apology. There is a difference between a band-aid apology and a sincere apology. A band-aid apology is placating to get the offender off the hook, but a sincere apology follows from the first two steps: having heard what the injustice is and what how the victim thinks and feels about it, and to have examined the circumstances that contributed to the offense, the offender can say, genuinely, “I’m sorry. I had no idea the extent of the harm of my actions.” Most victims want an apology. An apology sometimes, but not always, brings about a healing, a restoration of a sense of equity which leads to a sense of peace.

Step Four

The fourth step is the making of amends. If the offender is genuinely sorry and has apologized, there is a natural desire to want to make amends, to repair the harm. This making of amends, in many situations has to be very creative, because the injustice is water under the bridge, nothing can be done to put things back to where they were before the offense, and yet there is a need to redeem oneself by repairing the harm. How the harm is repaired needs to be negotiated by both the forgiver and the forgiven. In the instance where the offender is dead or unwilling, Life has a way of making amends to the victim. If he/she can acknowledge that blessings have repaired the harm, the victim can move forward feeling whole.

These steps can take minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, and even decades. We cannot live in our imperfect world and not be victimized, not to feel the sting of injustice and unfairness. Injustice is natural. It is an everyday human experience. Injustice will continue as long as humans are unenlightened and unaware, and yet injustice is not the problem; how we handle the injustice can  be the problem as we either benefit or further compound the problem. Having our say, our day in court, understanding the circumstances that contributed to the injustice, obtaining a genuine apology, and the making of amends is a four step model for bringing about a greater sense of equity, justice, and compassion in our human relations and in the whole world.

The mature soul knows what really matters in life and how to act accordingly. This knowing and  positive acting comes from experience reflected upon and learned from. Forgiveness is one of the most important spiritual activities which we can engage in. It is very good for our soul. 

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Aperspectival madness and the rise of authoritarianism.

9 March 2024 at 15:34

Over two decades ago, in the book Sex, Ecology, Spirituality, I summarized this postmodern disaster with the term “aperspectival madness,” because the belief that there is no truth—that no perspective has universal validity (the “aperspectival” part)—when pushed to extremes, as postmodernism was about to do, results in massive self-contradictions and ultimate incoherency (the “madness” part). And when aperspectival madness (“no truth”) infects the leading-edge of evolution, evolution’s capacity for self-direction and self-organization is bound to collapse.

Wilber, Ken. Trump and a Post-Truth World (p. 8). Shambhala. Kindle Edition. 

The postmodern idea that “truth” is socially constructed and time bound to a certain place in history leaves us in a state of what Wilber calls “narcissistic nihilism” in which every person can have their own truth which is as good as everyone else’s. Is this idea “true?” If there is no truth, because truth is time bound and socially constructed then this idea from postmodernism is itself not true or if it seems so now at this place and time, will change as time marches on.

This philosophy of postmodernism has created a culture of post -truth which creates a society of very high anxiety which is ripe for authoritarianism where the strong man (person) will save us because (s)he alone knows the truth and the way. If we put our trust in him/or her our sense of security is restored and we’d rather feel safe than know the truth.

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Death Notification

8 March 2024 at 16:08

Angela and I had nine children and she had gotten the younger 6 into Irish dancing. On March 10, 1993 she had taken four of the children to SUNY Geneseo to dance in a St. Patrick’s day program there about 40 miles from our home on Ridge Rd. in Clarkson, NY. At about 10:30 PM I started to worry because they had not arrived home yet.

I was downstairs in my office on the lower floor of the house when my 17 year old daughter, Mary, came down to tell me that there were two police officers at the upstairs front door. I immediately went up to find two Monroe County Sheriff Deputies who told me, “Mr. Markham there has been an accident and your son and wife are at Strong Memorial Hospital. You need to go there right away.”

“Are they all right,” I asked?

“You need to go to Strong right away and talk with your wife,” they replied.

They seemed very tense and uncommunicative and I was feeling somewhat panicked and frustrated. It seemed that there was much more to the story than they were telling me.

“Where are my other children?” I asked

“Your youngest daughter has been taken to Genesee Hospital, and your 12 year old son is at Park Ridge, and the older daughter is at Lakeside. If you go to Strong and talk to your wife, she can tell you more.”

In my mind I knew things were very bad. Having been a Psychiatric Social Worker who worked in the emergency rooms at Rochester General Hospital, Genesee Hospital, and Park Ridge Hospital, I was well aware of how the community emergency response system worked when there were multiple injuries and casualties spreading the victims out among the various Rochester area hospitals. With this new information about my children and wife being at different hospitals I knew that things were not good and that this accident was a major event with significant consequences.

I thanked the Deputies and sent them on their way. My daughter Mary said, “Come on dad, we should go to Strong.”

“We can't,'' I replied. “Not yet. We have to find out what has happened to the other kids. Call Colleen and ask her to come down here.” Colleen, my 20 year old daughter, lived about 1 ½ miles away in the Village of Brockport and she would be a help.

I had a private practice in my home which had its own phone so there were two phones in the house. When Colleen arrived, I asked her to use the office phone to call Park Ridge to find out how Joe was at Park Ridge. I was on the house phone calling Genesee Hospital. Fortunately, a woman I knew and had worked with Genesee Hospital answered the phone in the emergency room at Genesee.

“Carrie, this is David Markham, do you have my daughter there?”

“Yes, David, we do. Brigid is here.”

“How is she?”

“David, you will have to come in.”

“What do you mean? Just tell me.”

Carrie replied, “Well, I can’t. You are going to have to come in.”

“Carrie, I can’t. My wife and son are at Strong. Another son is at Park Ridge. My older daughter is at Lakeside. Please just tell me how Brigid is.”

“Are you alone,” Carrie asked?

My heart sank. This is not good I said to myself. “No, my daughter is here.”

“How old is she,” said Carrie?

“Mary is right here and she is 17, and Colleen is downstairs calling Park Ridge and she’s 20.”

“I’m not supposed to do this, David, but since it is you. Brigid is dead. The doctor declared her about 20 minutes ago.”

“Thank you, Carrie, for telling me. I appreciate it very much. It saves me hours of not knowing and second guessing with everyone in so many hospitals.” At that moment Colleen came into the room and said, “Dad, they won’t give me any information at Park Ridge about Joe. They say you have to come in.”

Carrie said, “I’m very sorry Dave. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Yes, Carrie, will you call Park Ridge and find out the status of my son there. They won’t give us any information and say we have to come in.”

“Sure”, said Carrie, “give me a couple of minutes,” and put me on hold.

While I was waiting, I shared the news with Mary and Colleen that their littlest sister, Brigid, was dead at Genesee Hospital. My adrenaline was pumping and I was functioning on high alert attending to the information which needed to be gathered and not able to tune into their emotional response to the information. Just then, Carrie came back on the phone and said, “I’m sorry Dave. Your son at Park Ridge is dead too.”

“Thank you very much, Carrie, you’ve been a big help.”

“I am so sorry for your losses, Dave.” Said Carrie.

“Thank you,” was all I could think to say, but I was very grateful for her cool, calm, effective and efficient help.

“Are we going to Strong,” asked Mary and Colleen?

“Last thing before we go,” I said, “is to call Lakeside and see how Maureen is.”

I called Lakeside and Maureen had been admitted to the hospital from the emergency room. I talked to the floor nurse who told me that Maureen physically was fine but emotionally quite distraught. The nurse said that Maureen had a shoulder belt injury with  quite a burn on her right shoulder and bruising to her sternum. The nurse said that the doctor admitted her for observation because he was concerned that there could be congestive heart failure if the pericardial cavity filled up with fluid as a result of the bruising. Other than these injuries, the nurse said that Maureen was fine. “However,” the nurse said, “Maureen keeps asking about the other people in the car.”

“Her sister, Brigid, is dead at Genesee, and her brother, Joe, is dead at Park Ridge, and Angela and Ryan are at Strong where I am going right now.”

“Do you want me to tell this to Maureen,” asked the nurse?

“No, no, no, “ I said. “I will tell her when I can get there which probably won’t be til morning. Thank you.”

I reassured Colleen and Mary that Maureen was all right and said, “Now, we can go.”

When we got to Strong I was told that Angela was in ICU and that my son was in the orthopedic section of the emergency room. I chose to visit with Angela first in the ICU on the 4th floor. When I arrived I was told that Angela had suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury and multiple facial fractures around her left eye and cheek. She had been placed in an artificial coma to reduce any further swelling in her brain and that she would probably be kept in this coma for 48 hrs or longer. When I saw her she was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and IV lines and it was very clear,  in spite of what the two deputies had led me to believe at the accident notification, that Angela not only was in no condition to tell me anything about what had happened, but would be unable to for some time to come. It crossed my mind that she did not know that two of our children were dead.

Angela had come from an Irish middle class family who lived on Long Island. Even though they were professional people they were big drinkers and domestic violence was a common occurrence which included regular visits from the local police department. Angela had told me stories about how when her mother became intoxicated her father would berate her in front of the children and pack them all in the car telling them he was taking them to the children’s shelter since their mother was such a lousy drunk that she couldn’t be a proper mother to them and take care of them. Angela told me that one time her father had become enraged while he was intoxicated when her beagle dog had defecated in the house. The father chased the dog up to her room with a broom where the dog hid under her dresser. Angela said her father beat the dog to death hitting it with the broom trapped under her dresser. During our courtship Angela told me these stories and she would end these gruesome tales saying that while these incidents were terrible and traumatic, they had made her stronger, to the point that she could deal with anything in life but the death of one of her children. Now, she will have to deal not with the death of one of her children but with two, and I doubted that the future for her and us would go well in light of the enormity of the tragedy which had befallen us.

I left her bedside, dreading the return when she became conscious again, and having to tell her that two of our children had died. 

I went back down to the first floor emergency room to see my son Ryan who I believed to be in the orthopedic area. I had been told that the “12 year old” had been taken to Park Ridge Hospital where I had learned he had died from Carrie in the emergency room at Genesee Hospital. Our other son, Ryan, was 8 and he was a big boy. Ryan was 11lbs, 6 oz when he was born, and at age 8 he was so big for his age that he might be mistakenly thought to be 12. When I opened the curtain to the cubicle expecting to see Ryan, there was 12 year old Joe. I quickly had to shift gears because the son I thought was dead was alive and the one I thought was alive was dead.

Joe was conscious, shaken, still in shock somewhat. He had fractured his pelvis with a hair line fracture which was not immediately diagnosed on the x-ray but only diagnosed a couple of months later when the fracture calcified and could be seen. Joe’s left arm  had been cut and was sutured. I consoled Joe as best I could and while waiting for him to be discharged from the waiting room I was approached by Ogden Police Chief Christopher Schrank who asked if I could go with him to the Monroe County morgue to identify the body of Ryan since there had been a mix-up in the identification of the children. I agreed.

When I got to the morgue, I was asked to view Ryan’s body on a gurney behind a window. I positively identified Ryan’s body as indeed being my son Ryan and then asked if I could also see Brigid who also was in the morgue. While I didn’t have to identify her body for legal reasons, I wanted to see her as well and the coroner techs agreed to my request and brought Brigid’s body to the window after they removed Ryan’s. It was a small comfort to me to see my two children so soon after they had died.

I returned to the Strong Memorial Hospital to await Joe’s discharge which finally occurred. Joe complained of great pain in his hip when he walked and I asked for the doctor to see him again which he did and re-x rayed Joe’s hip, but insisted that he was okay. I took him home and put him to bed where he was looked after by Colleen and Mary while I went to Lakeside to tell Maureen what had happened and that her brother, Ryan, and her sister, Brigid, had died.

Maureen was 14 and the only one in the vehicle carrying Angela, herself, Joseph, Ryan, and Brigid that stayed conscious throughout the  crash and its aftermath. Besides telling my wife two days later that two of her children had died, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do was tell Maureen that her brother and sister had been killed and that her mother had been severely, but not critically,  injured and was in a coma. 

Maureen seemed to have guessed that something severely amiss had occurred and while very upset understood that her brother and sister were dead. I spent some time with Maureen helping her process what had happened and reassuring her that she would be discharged from the hospital the next day and that her body was okay acknowledging that her heart was broken. As I was leaving, Maureen called me back and said that she wanted to tell me something that had happened when our parish priest, Father Kiggins, had visited. I could tell that Maureen was very upset about the incident she was to describe to me.

“What happened, Maureen? What are you so upset about?”

“Dad, Father Kiggins came to visit me.”

“Oh, that was nice of him,” I said.

“Yeah, well, he told me I should forgive the driver of the truck that hit us,” Maureen said, getting more upset.

“Okay,” I said “and then what?”

“I told him to get the fuck out of my room,” Maureen said breaking out into huge sobs.

“Good for you,” I said thinking the poor guy must have slept through grief counseling 101 in the seminary if they even offered the course.

“You’re not mad at me, dad, for telling Father Kiggins to go fuck himself?”

“No, Maureen, I am not upset with you at all. You did the right thing. Father Kiggins should have known better than to say something like that to you.”

It has been 20 years since March 10 and 11th in 1993. I have lived through my memories of that night many times over the years. I have wondered how I managed it all. It is a horrible story that is the basis of every parent’s worst nightmare, to lose a child. It certainly is the basis of Angela’s worst nightmare which not only came to pass but came to pass twice.

I have never blamed God for what happened. I blame alcohol. The driver of the 18 wheeler tractor trailer which crashed into Angela and my kids had had two prior DWIs and crashing into my family was his third. 

In 2011 still over 11,000 Americans are killed every year in DWI crashes, about 500 a year in our State, New York. I tell parts of this story on DWI impact panels 4 or 5 times per year when invited. I do this for two reasons: to keep the memory of Ryan and Brigid alive, and to feel that, if even one person learns from this story not to drink and drive, and this prevents even one more death from drunk driving, Brigid and Ryan will not have died in vain.

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What is normal?

6 March 2024 at 21:05

I have a bumper sticker that says "Normal People Scare Me?"

What is normal?

That is a question that as a Psychiatric Social Worker for over 54 years, I have struggled with for five decades.

That is a question which many of my clients ask me who come to see me because they are mystified, and in great distress. Often these clients grew up in dysfunctional families, have been through a failed marriage, and now find themselves in their 40s with problems in their love lives, at work, with their neighbors, or in the social circle of friends and they wonder who is crazy, them or me? And because they grew up in crazy families they really don't know what normal is. And so they have come to ask me if they are nuts? What they want from me is a point of reference. They want a navigational north star. What they want most of all is validation, affirmation, and reassurance. They want to hear, if appropriate, that their intuition, their instincts, might be right after all, when the whole world seems crazy to them and they are being told that they are the one that is crazy. They want to check it out.

And what am I to say? Am I the arbitrator of what is normal? How do I set myself up as the navigational north star? What does psychology, or social work, or counseling have to offer? What does philosophy or religion or the humanities have to offer? What can I possibly say to this person that will help them find their way?

M. Scott Peck, is a Christian Psychiatrist, who wrote a book in the 80s that was immensely popular entitled, The Road Less Traveled. He is the only person I have ever heard talk about the idea of a therapeutic depression. He says that sometimes people struggle to extricate themselves from dysfunctional relationships and when they have succeeded and they are healthy, and they look back and realize how screwed up everyone else is, they get depressed. 

When the Buddha became enlightened he was off the wheel of samsara and free to go on to nirvana but he chose to stay and help his fellow humans and so his nickname is the Compassionate Buddha. Karl Jaspers, a great American Psychiatrist-Philosopher, defined tragedy as awareness in the excess of power by which I think he meant, to be aware of how things could be, should be, ought to be, and not having the power to make it happen is a tragedy because that awareness fills us with sadness, helplessness, and loneliness sometimes. That's why they say that ignorance is bliss, because if we didn't know any better it wouldn't bother us, but we know and can't do anything about it.

And so, what is the answer to the question, what is normal? There are a few ideas I would like to share with you that might help us figure out a way to begin to answer that question.

Lawrence Kohlberg, a Psychology Professor at Harvard, divided moral development into three stages: pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional. At the first stage of moral development people do the right thing to avoid punishment and to gain approval of others. At the second stage people do the right thing because they want to be a "good boy" or a "good girl" and they are following a moral code like the Ten Commandments or the Law of The Land. In the third stage people do the right thing because of their appreciation of the interdependence of life and the welfare of other living things, and some universal principles of life: Cosmic Consciousness. At this third stage people begin to realize that there can be such a thing as an immoral law like segregation. People recognize that legality and morality can be two different things.

If by normal we mean conventional then Martin Luther King, Jr. wasn't normal, nor was Jesus of Nazareth, nor Buddha, nor Mahatma Gandhi, nor Nelson Mandela. Nor was Frederick Douglas, Henry David Thoreau, Joan of Arc, or Susan B. Anthony.

I have worked for over 50 years in the Mental Health Field and one thing that I and my colleagues recognize is that you have to be a little crazy to keep from going insane. Being crazy has a long and revered tradition even if not often acknowledged. The court jester made fun of the pomposity and arrogance of the king with his satire and was seen as a necessary part of the court culture to help keep the King's feet on the ground. In First Corinthians, 4th chapter, 10th verse, St. Paul talks about being a fool on Christ's account. And everyone loves a clown who mocks and pratfalls and spoofs every aspect of our humanity.

How do we become Holy Fools? How do we step outside the bounds of "normal" in a way that contributes to our growth and development? Playing the fool, refusing to be "normal", listening to one's own drummer and marching to one's own beat, has a long and illustrious history which has captured the curiosity of the timid, and the delight of the child like sensibility such that Jesus said we can't enter the Kingdom unless we become like little children. I wonder sometimes if "normal" people go to heaven. As I get older, I doubt it more and more.

There was a psychiatrist from Georgetown University, who is now dead, named Murry Bowen, who developed a whole theory called family systems theory. Dr. Bowen has revolutionized the way we think about symptomatic, dysfunctional, and not normal behavior.

Back in the old days we used to study the individual's personality to see what made him or her tick. We could do the MMPI, the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, or the Rorschach, the ink blot test, to understand better the individual's personality traits. We believed that if we understood the individual's personality traits well enough we could predict how they might behave in future situations. But then about 50 years ago along came systems theory which says that how people behave may have more to do with the context of the situation they find themselves in than their individual personality traits. For example, we all have hundreds of different sides to our personality. You can be one way with your mother and one way with your father. You may be one way with your significant other, and a different way with your friend. Each person that we have a relationship with, and each situation we find ourselves in, brings out a different side to our personality.

Dr. Bowen said that the goal of our individual growth and development is what he called "differentiation". What he meant by that was the degree to which we have become differentiated from our family of origin. In other words, to what extent do you have a mind of your own, can you stand on your own two feet, are you captain of your own ship, and master of your own fate?

We are all born into a family. And from our family we receive our "psychological legacy". The psychological legacy is made up of the beliefs, opinions, values and ways of doing things, or practices, of the family. There is the Markham way of doing things, the Hood way of doing things, the Reidell way of doing things, and the DelaCosta way of doing things.

If you ask people why they believe certain things, or why they do certain things they will tell you "Well, I don't know. That's the way I was raised" or "That's the way I was brought up." So if you ask people why they are Jewish and not Catholic, or Baptist and not Methodist, chances are they will tell you that they were raised Jewish etc. Why do we speak English and not Chinese? Is there something genetic about it? Does it run in families?

Most of us do not question our psychological legacy until we have children of our own because now we must decide, if we are thoughtful about it, the extent to which we want to raise our children the same way we were raised, and the extent to which we want to do it differently.

"Differentiation" does not mean you have to do things differently. It only means that you have made a conscious decision about it, and not just go along with it unthinkingly. So there are some good beliefs, values, and practices which you believe were good for you and you want to pass them on to your children, and there may have been some bad beliefs, values, and practices which you consciously decide you would like to do differently and pass them differently on to your children.

And so you have started to have a mind of your own. You are standing on your own two feet, and not just going along with the herd, with your conditioning.

Now, if you want to change some of the beliefs, opinions, values, and practices from the family of origin, or any group of participation, the group will experience this as "rocking the boat", "going against the grain", "disturbing the status quo", and "upsetting the apple cart". The tension and the anxiety in the group will go up.

The members of the group will feel threatened and they will do one of three things or if they are skilled,  they may do any combination of these things. They will say that you are being bad, mad, or disloyal. That is, they will say that you are being bad, naughty, and that you need to be punished. So they will try to scold you, send you to your room, deny you the privileges of the group, or they will say that you are mad, meaning crazy, and will dismiss you with statements like "Ah, you're nuts" you should see a shrink and get on some medication, or they will ridicule and mock you, or three, they will say that you are disloyal, a traitor, the Benedict Arnold of the group who is no longer worthy of membership and they will shun you, excommunicate you, send you into exile, or otherwise let everybody know that you are a persona non grata.

How do you handle it when the group you love and care about thinks you are not normal? Bowen's theory suggests three steps in managing the group. First, you need to take a clear stand and a clear position. Waffling around usually doesn't help. Second, when the group says that you are bad, mad, or disloyal, you need to stick to your guns. They would love nothing more than for you to relieve their tension and anxiety by "knuckling" under. And third, and here is the critical step, you need to maintain a connection. You can't let them cut you off. If there is a cut off then the emotional system is paralyzed and stagnates and the conflict and dysfunctional behavior can be transmitted to future generations. So we all know the story about Romeo and Juliet or the Hatfields and  the McCoys where conflicts in preceding generations had a way of transmitting themselves to subsequent generations. So maintaining a connection is critical to the growth and development of all concerned. The goal here is not eventual agreement although that can sometimes happen, but rather respect. We can agree to disagree and still stay in relationship.

So the point here is that sometimes it is bad to be normal if by normal we mean submitting ourselves to the status quo, to the conventional wisdom. 

I am for continuous quality improvement, for continuing growth and development until we become the fully realized human being that we are meant to be. Bowen said that descriptively, we could put differentiation on a scale of 1 - 10 and most adults are lucky if they make it to 5. Jesus made it to 10. Buddha made it to 10, and other enlightened masters made it to 10. They became fully realized, aware, conscious human beings, and we each can do that too, but not if we are content to be normal. 

We all can be post conventional when we become aware of the uniqueness and the interdependence of all life. As a differentiated, mature person we become aware of the inherent worth and dignity of every person, the importance of justice and compassion in our human relations, the acceptance of one another and the encouragement of each other's growth, the free and responsible search for meaning, respect for the right of conscience, the goals of peace, liberty, and justice for all, and the respect for the interdependent web of existence.

As I said at the beginning, "Normal People Scare Me." 

Remember "You Are Unique Just Like Everybody Else."

Because of your uniqueness you are destined for greatness, and being great means that you have to take the road less traveled, you have to take the high road and not the low road, and taking the high road means that you are traveling way above normal. You are becoming a Holy Fool. People thought Jesus was nuts and they killed him. People thought Martin Luther King was nuts and they killed him. People thought Gandhi was nuts and they killed him. People thought Malcom X was nuts and they killed him. People thought Joan of Arc was a heretic and they burned her at the stake. People thought Susan B. Anthony was nuts and they imprisoned her. It is dangerous to be post conventional because the normal people will kill you. However, like Frank Sinatra you can sing I did it "My Way" and maybe even make a significant contribution to the world. Gandhi said "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."

Being normal is nothing to strive for. 

Actualizing our potential challenges us to be extraordinary. 

Actualizing our potential challenges us to pursue truth and meaning wherever it may take us, to love each other no matter how "different" we perceive the other to be, to celebrate life even when the Eyores of the world are full of doom and gloom.

Don't be afraid to speak your truth and let your little light shine.

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Kindness is the measure of a person

5 March 2024 at 18:23

"The essence of all religions is love, compassion, and tolerance. Kindness is my true religion. No matter whether you are learned or not, whether you believe in the next life or not, whether you believe in God or Buddha or some other religion or not, in day-to-day life you must be a kind person. When you are motivated by kindness, it doesn't matter whether you are a practitioner, a lawyer, a politician, an administrator, a worker, or an engineer; whatever your profession or field, deep down you are a kind person."

Dalai Lama

In 2000, I was going through a very tough time in my life. I was 55 years old. Two of my children had been killed 7 years prior in a drunk driving crash. I had been forced out of my job. I was going through a divorce after 35 years of marriage. I had to sell our house as part of the divorce for $50,000.00 less than we paid for it which was all the equity I had accumulated in the world. I was left with about $14,000.00 in debt. I had very little other than my health, a few friends,  and my seven living children. I felt like Job in the dung heap. 

I was having breakfast with my best friend, Al, and I said to Al, "Al, what is the measure of a man's life?" He never paused; he never missed a beat. Al said to me simply, "Kindness."

I almost fell out of the booth. "Kindness", I said?  He nodded.

I was stunned, relieved, felt blessed, because through everything, I had been kind. I have always tried to be kind. Sometimes I fail, but rarely. Usually when I fail at being kind, I am tired, pressured, irritated, but usually I control this very well and I am kind.

I had a client tell me one time that being kind and being nice are not the same thing. He was a pastor and he pointed out to me that Jesus was not always "nice". Jesus said and did some not nice things like when he castigated the Pharisees calling them hypocrites and whited sepulchers, and when he drove the money changers out of the temple. Being kind sometimes requires that we hold people accountable, call a spade a spade, take an unpopular position on things.

So, I like what the Dalai Lama says. You don't always have to be nice but the essence of all religions is kindness. Unitarian Universalists believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person, and justice, equity, and compassion in our human relations. In other words, Unitarian Universalism calls people, as does the Dalai Lama, to be kind. Jesus said that the way to the Kingdom is “to love as I have loved.”

It has struck me in my life that sometimes the universe sends the messages we need to hear at the right time if we are open to hearing the message. Jesus says in Matthew 11:15, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” I had the ears to hear Al’s message that day, and I got the message that through thick and through thin, good times and bad, the goal to which we should aspire is to conduct ourselves with kindness. We do this not just for other people but because we care about the kind of person we are. It is in being kind to others that we are kind to ourselves. It is a paradox in life that we get what we give, we learn what we teach, we reap what we sow. What goes around comes around.

I have been told that President Harry Truman defined a lady and a gentleman as someone who exhibits grace under pressure. To exhibit grace under pressure requires self awareness, self discipline, and skill in interacting with others. This form of kindness requires practice and we get better at it with persistent effort over a period of time. With enough practice, kindness starts to come automatically, naturally.

There was a popular movement that began back in the 80s. It is written in Wikipedia, “A random act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a person or people wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual person or people. The phrase may have been coined by Anne Herbert, who says that she wrote "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty" on a place mat at a Sausalito restaurant in 1982 or 1983. Either spontaneous or planned, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities.” 

Engaging in this kind of activity is fun and socially beneficial, but this form of kindness was not what Al was referring to.  What Al was referring to was a quality of character, the emanation of spirit, the manifestation of divine grace in the life of the person. This form of kindness is not necessarily what someone does, it is not a behavior, as much as it is a quality of being, a part of who someone is. This kind of kindness is a quality which is a measure of a person.

It is a very high compliment to refer to a person as a kind person. The person’s value is not based on what they have, or what they do, or other social status, but rather the qualities of their character, their virtues.

It is the challenge of parents, of schools, of society to encourage the development of children into kind adults. Remember to be kind is not the same thing as being nice. Kind people are people of integrity who uphold the best in themselves and in others. They facilitate and nurture the divine spark in each person so that each can become all he or she is capable of becoming. This requires accountability and discipline as much as affection and support.

I had lost everything but my health and friends: my marriage, two of my children, my home, my assets, my job, and I was feeling desolate, like a victim of forces way outside of my control. When I asked Al, plaintively, “What is the measure of a man?” and he said, “Kindness”, I felt back in control. I can’t control  most of the external circumstances of my life, but I can control how I manage myself in relation to them. I felt validated, affirmed, and empowered to deal with the tragedy and nonsense in my life in a kind way. That I can do. Maybe things are not so bad after all.

Discussion guide

  1. Describe a time when you “hit bottom”, you felt the lowest you have ever felt in your life. What did you make of it? How did you get through it?

  1. What do you think about the idea that “kind” and “nice” are not the same thing? Can you give examples of how this distinction works in your life? Are there times when you have been nice but not necessarily kind, and kind but not necessarily nice?

  1. What do you think of the idea that when we are kind, it benefits ourselves as much, if not more, than other people?

  1. What do you think of the idea that a virtue like kindness takes repeated effort over time before it becomes automatic, comes naturally?

  1. Is kindness a behavior or a quality of character, a virtue, or both?

  1. Would you describe yourself as a kind person? Do you ever do kind things? Does doing kind things alone make you a kind person?

  2. The author states that having lost everything, he felt better when he realized he had not lost his capacity to manage himself and circumstances in a kind way. Have you ever had a similar experience when you realized that while you can’t always control the circumstances in your life, you can always control how you respond to them? Give an example.

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Does one half of the country in the US hate the other half?

2 March 2024 at 18:55

But one thing has been clear: a country in which 50 percent of the population flat out hates the other 50 percent is not a country that can move forward with any sort of grace, dignity, and integrity. And that is exactly where the United States of America finds itself right now.

Wilber, Ken. Trump and a Post-Truth World (pp. vii-viii). Shambhala. Kindle Edition. 

The idea that the US is very polarized and one half of the country hates the other half is a lazy and superficial fake news story that engenders engagement with the media by viewers to generate advertising dollars. This depiction of conflict and animosity has people tsk, tsk, tsking and muttering “Ain’t it awful.

Politics has become entertainment and no longer is a vehicle for  people working together to resolve mutual problems. If one digs deeper beneath the name calling and blame game, one finds that Americans agree on policy issues much more than they disagree.

Ken Wilber describes how the current political climate in the US is not the creation of Donald Trump and the MAGA adherents who support him. Rather, Trump and the MAGA phenomenon are the result, not the cause, of what Wilber, and others, call the “post truth” era. The post truth era is the result of postmodern thinking in which one person’s truth is as good as anyone else’s. The only thing that makes a difference in social cohesion is not agreement on truth and values but in power to enforce adherence to the official belief system to garner favors and avoid punishment.

The bumper sticker says, “Telling the truth to power does no good when power has no use for the truth.”

Whether power has any use for the truth, in the long run, is not relevant, because truth will always prevail sooner or later, come hell or high water, one way or the other. Things will all come out alright in the end. We just aren’t at the end yet.

The idea that the US is polarized 50 50 is fake news. Look beneath the surface..

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Trust in a benevolent universe is a key to spiritual health.

27 February 2024 at 14:33

Even if your spirituality does not include a Supreme Being, children need to feel that the universe smiles on them. Einstein said that the most important decision each person makes is deciding whether or not this is a friendly universe.

Dr. Laura Markham, Great Spiritual Lessons Every Child Should Learn

Laura Markham is no relation to me and I don’t know her. However, I admire her work.

As I read and think about this quote, it seemed to me that this is an important decision for adults as well as children. To what extent is one of the foundational purposes of psychotherapy to help people shift their perception from a world of malevolence to one of friendliness?. How do we help our clients shift their perception from a malevolent universe in which they feel victimized to a benevolent universe in which they are loved unconditionally?

Unitarian Universalism promotes the covenanting together to affirm and promote seven principles and identifies 6 sources for the perennial philosophy.

The seventh principle of UU is “respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.” The word “love” might be substituted for the word “respect.”

Teaching children and helping each other love the interdependent web is a significant activity in promoting spiritual intelligence. This teaching requires a shift in attention from the egocentric and ethnocentric thought systems to a world centric and integral apprehension.

What we do affects others and what they do affects us. The butterfly flapping its wings in the southern hemisphere does have an impact on life in Brockport, NY in Western New York State on the north coast of the United States eleven miles south of Lake Ontario.

Encouraging an appreciation of the interdependent web is to enhance our level of spiritual intelligence which is a primary function of churches in our society.

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Dog angels - benign presences in the world.

26 February 2024 at 11:14

So a dog appeared, one of those slow Istanbul dogs, with a smooth golden coat. He came to rest on the rocks, close to us, between us and the group of men, who continued their calls and jibes, pushing each other around and swigging their beers, their eyes in our direction, their voices growing louder. Showing off, they called the dog over to them, but he didn’t move. They had some leftover food, some kind of bread and meat, and they offered it to the dog with a flourish, dangling the treat within his line of sight. The dog raised his head, looked at the meat, and wouldn’t budge. https://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/577/stranger-kin

I have been a reader of The Sun Magazine since it appeared in the mid 70s. It is a unique magazine of interviews stories, memoirs, poems, and photographs with no advertising.

The short piece quoted above entailed, “Strange Kin” comes from the January 2024 issue. I am interested in what people think about the experience the author describes.

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Kumbaya doesn't sell ad space.

25 February 2024 at 20:40
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But one thing has been clear: a country in which 50 percent of the population flat out hates the other 50 percent is not a country that can move forward with any sort of grace, dignity, and integrity. And that is exactly where the United States of America finds itself right now.

Wilber, Ken. Trump and a Post-Truth World (pp. vii-viii). Shambhala. Kindle Edition. 

The idea that the US is very polarized and one half of the country hates the other half is a lazy and superficial fake news story that engenders engagement with the media by viewers to generate advertising dollars. This depiction of conflict and animosity has people tsk, tsk, tsking and muttering “Ain’t it awful.

Politics has become entertainment and no longer is a vehicle for  people working together to resolve mutual problems. If one digs deeper beneath the name calling and blame game, one finds that Americans agree on policy issues much more than they disagree.

Ken Wilber describes how the current political climate in the US is not the creation of Donald Trump and the MAGA adherents who support him. Rather, Trump and the MAGA phenomenon are the result, not the cause, of what Wilber, and others, call the “post truth” era. The post truth era is the result of postmodern thinking in which one person’s truth is as good as anyone else’s. The only thing that makes a difference in social cohesion is not agreement on truth and values but in power to enforce adherence to the official belief system to garner favors and avoid punishment.

The bumper sticker says, “Telling the truth to power does no good when power has no use for the truth.”

Whether power has any use for the truth, in the long run, is not relevant, because truth will always prevail sooner or later, come hell or high water, one way or the other. Things will all come out alright in the end. We just aren’t at the end yet.

The idea that the US is polarized 50 50 is fake news. Look beneath the service. We have much more that unites us than divides us. Kumbaya, though, doesn’t sell ad space.

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United Health Care Medicare Advantage is corrupt and harms patients and health care providers.

17 February 2024 at 20:52

Here is a good video about United Health Care and it's corrupt operation of the health care system.

In my case, I was covered by United Health Care Medicare Advantage. I had a quadricep tendon tear in both legs. My orthopod did a repair in both legs on August 29th. I came out of surgery with a brace on each leg from hip to ankle at full extension with 0% flexibility and was told I would be immobilized like this for at least 6 weeks and then the braces would be flexed 30 degrees per month. I was bedridden. 

Navihealth who rations the United Health Care benefits visited with me on the 5th day after surgery and told me they were authorizing 21 days of stay in a rehab facility. They told me I had 36 hours to appeal their decision. When I appealed they granted me 2 more days and then I went self pay. I was discharged from rehab finally two weeks ago today on February 3, 2024 after 5 months in rehab. I essentially have had to learn to walk again and I still am limited to walking with a walker and quad cane for short distances. 

My rehab bill is now over $75.000 and it has bankrupted me. I have applied for Medicaid in Monroe County, New York State to, hopefully, pay my rehab bill since I have no funds of my own. The taxpayers who pay for Medicaid at the county, state, and Federal level, hopefully, will pay the bill which United Health Care should have paid while UHC profits billions of dollars per year. It's quite a scam which patients, their families, and the taxpayers pay the brunt of.

Meanwhile, Medicare Advantage plans have captured over 50% in 2024 of the Medicare population with their lure of free dental cleanings and Silver Sneakers programs.

As the naive little boy in me screams, "There ought to be a law against this kind of complex corporate corruption and bait and switch." And yet as P.T. Barnum supposedly said one time, "There's a sucker born every minute" of which group, I am at the head of the line.

The first step in social change is education and the provision of information. I have tried to explain the situation to my friends and their eyes glaze over. One of my favorite bumper stickers says "Reality is when it happens to you."

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10% more females in college than males. What are the long term implications of this observation?

17 February 2024 at 20:34

9% more females attend college than males. What are the longer term implications of females becoming better educated than males?

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Gardening for emergence

17 February 2024 at 10:38

Gardening for emergence

Some call it "planting seeds" and once the seeds are planted we wait for them to germinate and then we water the baby plants, fertilize them, and provide sufficient warmth and sunlight. This cultivation takes patience, diligence, conscientiousness, and effort.

What cultural advances do you garden for emergence?

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Senator Bernie Sanders on Medicare For All

16 February 2024 at 19:51

It’s time for Medicare For All. Health Care is a human right and not for profiteering.

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The Real Student Loan Crisis: Graduate Programs

14 February 2024 at 19:41

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Florida discourages the study of Sociology

13 February 2024 at 12:44

The Council of Social Work (CSWE)encouraged schools of Social Work a few decades ago to develop what is called "Generalized Social Work Practice" model at micro, mezzo, and macro levels. Prior to this development Masters of Social Work students had to choose a major in casework, group work, or community organization. The primary courses in Social Work are usually named something like "Human behavior and social environment".

Human behavior and social environment is based on a "person in situation" model meaning that human behavior can be explained by the influences of the social environment as much as on individual personality traits and characteristics.

It was suggested several months ago that posts not directly related to clinical practice be labeled "OT" for off topic or sometimes "SP" for social policy. I am intending to study and write a lot more about Social Policy and its outcomes.

I noticed an article on The Conversation that the Florida Legislature and Gov. DeSantis have introduced legislation discouraging the study of sociology as a basic course in the college curriculum even denying that credit for sociology courses be granted toward degree requirements.

The boards that oversee the education of hundreds of thousands of students enrolled in Florida’s public colleges and universities voted to reduce the number of students who study sociology on those campuses.

They officially removed principles of sociology from the lists of classes that count as core courses that satisfy requirements for undergraduate degrees.

This change, made in January 2024, was in response to a law that Gov. Ron DeSantis signed in 2023. That measure bans general education college credits for instruction “based on theories that systemic racism, sexism, oppression, and privilege are inherent in the institutions of the United States and were created to maintain social, political, and economic inequities.”

Does this social policy strike anyone else as a dereliction in duty of providing college students with an understanding of societal dynamics that influence human behavior and the quality of life that people in a society experience?

The Florida Governor and legislature apparently would have its citizens be ignorant of the social forces that impact their lives. Does this social policy contribute to lower levels of consciousness of the citizenry which inhibits their understanding and management of social forces that influence their quality of life? What impact does this policy of withdrawing incentives to study sociology have on the mental health of the populations affected?

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States ranked by quality of life: Massachusetts is best and New Mexico is worst.

12 February 2024 at 19:50

The four best states to live in for quality of life are in New England with Massachusetts leading the list followed by the "News": New Jersey, New Hampshire, and New York. Florida ranks sixth.

The bottom of the list are mostly in the South with the exception of Alaska.

Here's the list.

What would you think is the correlation between the quality of life indicators in a state and the mental health of the population of the state? It is interesting that most of us being clinicians we focus on symptoms rather than influential social factors. As Social Workers we are trained to identify social factors that influence public, physical, and mental health, but we rarely recognize and acknowledge them in our clinical discussions. The model of psychotherapy which is known for identifying community factors influencing "local knowledge" of the individual is Narrative Therapy. The Dulwich Center in Australia has pioneered in this work.

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Social policies at the state level have significant impact on quality of life to the people of that state.

12 February 2024 at 18:46

Because of U.S. Supreme Court rulings of Citizens United that Corporations are people, voting for congressional representatives is not an effective organizing strategy. It may be that policy is more efficiently and effectively developed and sustained at the state and not the federal level.

As you know, states are quite different with their laws and regulations governing all kinds of health, educational and human services. Thom Hartmann has written articulately about the significant differences in quality of life between Red and Blue states which makes evident the idea that policies at state levels make huge differences.

In raising this topic I do not intend to get into polarized party politics but rather that shared values make huge differences when they inform policy formation, implementation, and outcomes. We have been encouraged in the social and psychological sciences to engage in "evidence based practices" based on the observation that some practices get better outcomes than others. All too often the dots are not connected.

There are so many examples of how different social policies affect state populations with most glaring being the Dodd’s decision and a woman's access to reproductive health care in her state. There are some states where women have the freedom to make their own decisions about their health care and some where the state interfere with her freedom and the freedom of health care providers. This same freedom applies to psychotherapists where in some states psychotherapists are free to discuss health care options with women and some where it has been criminalized.

As an aside a good fictional portrayal of this issue in Massachusetts is Mercy Street by Jennifer Haigh.

Tip O'Neil, when he was speaker of the house, is often quoted as saying, "All politics is local."

The policies of the state you live in have a tremendous impact on the people of that state and indicators of quality of life often show startling differences. Do you know where your state ranks on key quality of life indicators?

Thank you for reading David G. Markham. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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Invitation: Video Message Academy 2024

19 December 2023 at 15:51

 

Friends, 2024 is coming fast!  Interested in growing your congregation in the New Year? If you are, consider joining us for Video Message Academy for Congregations 2024!

This just might be the most important cycle of Video Message Academy for Congregations ever. Yeah, I know I sound like the host of the Bachelor.

"This is the most dramatic season ever!!!" they say every single season...

Well, I feel like this is one of the most pivotal seasons in the life of many of our congregations. What about your ministry? Do you need help?

Many of you need to learn and implement new strategies if you are going to adapt to today's world, be of service, and thrive.  This training can help.

🙌 You'll learn skills and strategies to help you lead and grow congregations in today's video dominated world.

This video shares the latest program highlights.

This 2024 New Year cycle features:

  • The full on-demand video ministry strategy training. The approaches I share are helping congregations of all sizes get results!
  • A 2-hour live training January 9th via Zoom with full strategy overview, discussion, and Q&A.
  • Program Facebook Group with six-weeks of facilitation guiding you through the program. Running Jan 1 through Feb 15.
  • Ask me questions on every post in the training as well as in our Facebook group.
  • Handouts to support implementation.
  • Video content outlines for my top recommended videos.
  • More bonuses in the works :-)

Those are the highlights. It is going to be amazing! I hope you'll join us.

Registration is open with an early bird discount through December 31st:
http://www.videomessageacademy.com

Questions
If you have questions about the program, you may contact me here.

Existing program members
You'll have full access to the training and Facebook group. If you know someone who would appreciate this training, please forward this to them.

Go team!
Peter

Supporting our ministry and leadership –  welcoming Rev. Rory Castle Jones into a new role  

19 December 2023 at 03:25

We are delighted to announce that Rev. Dr Rory Castle Jones will be taking up the new role of Ministry & Leadership Development Officer at the General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches. Starting on 1st January 2024, this new role will see Rory supporting ministry and leadership in the Unitarian movement – as we go through big changes in our congregations, movement and society.

This role will involve working closely with our fifty active Unitarian & Free Christian ministers, and the many more trustees and other leaders across our movement, as well as key stakeholders such as Unitarian College, Harris Manchester College Oxford, the Ministerial Fellowship, and others. We want to continue supporting our excellent ministers and leaders not merely to ‘survive’ in an environment of declining church attendance and dwindling full-time ministry positions, but to ‘thrive’ by meeting new social, cultural and spiritual realities well with the ethos of our Unitarian and Free Christian tradition.

Rev. Dr Rory Castle Jones was ordained in 2021 and is minister to Gellionnen Chapel in the Swansea Valley, south Wales, a congregation which has experienced revival and growth in the past decade. Rory has served as our part-time denominational Communications Officer since 2018, a time of big changes in how we work, connect and communicate internally and with the world. Prior to the ministry, Rory worked in Higher Education and has a PhD in History. Outside of work, he enjoys learning languages, long walks in the mountains with his husband and dogs, and travel. 

On his new role, Rory says: 

“In the past five years as I’ve progressed through ministry training and formation and spent two and a half years as a serving Unitarian minister, I’ve become a passionate advocate for the needs of our ministers and leaders. Ministry and church leadership is hard, challenging, rewarding and life-changing work. Our ministers and leaders need support and we, as a denomination, need to take a deep and serious look at our structures, networks, organisations and culture, to ensure that we are training, resourcing, developing and supporting our leaders properly for church and ministry in the twenty-first century. 

At the height of the pandemic, Rev. Andy Pakula and I led a Zoom course for Unitarian leaders called “Leading Change In The Congregation” based on the book of the same title by Gil Rendle. In my new role, I will do my best to be guided by Rendle’s advice: “We do wish for easy answers, for silver bullets, for proven programs, for implementable solutions. When paradigms shift, when deep change is needed, our very assumptions, values and behaviours are questioned. The real challenge is to re-invent the very world we live in.” 

I’m excited and delighted to be starting this new role, working with colleagues to strengthen existing support and develop new ways of nourishing, developing and supporting our leaders.” 

Chief Officer, Liz Slade says:

“Long before being in this role, I have been carrying questions around the types of leadership that we need for these times, and I often found myself looking to ministry as representing the qualities of leadership that work – being grounded in something beyond the day-to-day, valuing relationships, leaning in to uncertainty, listening carefully inside ourselves and to those around us, boldness in speaking truth, humility in recognising our own mistakes and limitations, and being oriented towards the creation of a loving world. These qualities exist in abundance in our ministers and leaders, but the toll of the challenges of covid, and of shrinking congregations means that now is a time that we must invest in strengthening our culture of healthy leadership, and supporting those who have taken responsibility for the flourishing of their community.

Rory’s position as a new minister, who has built connections and relationships with leaders across the country through his work as Communications Officer, means that he is attuned to the challenges that we are navigating together. He wouldn’t claim to have all the answers, but I know first hand that he is a brilliant person to explore the questions with. I’m excited about this new chapter.”

Rory begins his new role in the new year, and will be working as part of the central team supporting ministers and congregations with Simon Bland, our Ministry & Congregational Support Officer, and Lizzie Kingston-Harrison, our Congregational Connections Lead. 

The post Supporting our ministry and leadership –  welcoming Rev. Rory Castle Jones into a new role   appeared first on The Unitarians.

The Coming Artificial Intelligence (AI) Meaning Crisis

14 November 2023 at 00:00

An AI driven meaning crisis is looming.  Noticing the accelerating rate of AI advancement, recently I started doing more intentional study. What I learned and what I'm expecting to unfold in the very near future has me changing my priorities, projects, and how I work with congregations and community organizations.

Join me, Peter Bowden, on November 14, 2023, at 12:30 PM EST for a live stream strategy session preparing for the coming A.I. meaning crisis for community clergy and congregations (sessions for others to follow). With AI evolving at an exponential rate, artificial general intelligence (AGI) is coming fast. What happens when AI can do any job a human with a computer can do?

That's not sci-fi, that's what companies are working on today. As these systems are able to perform the tasks previously preformed by humans, a ‘meaning crisis’ looms, challenging our notions of value and identity.

Live Stream Replay:

Listen via audio podcast: The Peter Bowden Show

In this session, I'm going to share highlights from my accidental AI "mini-sabbatical" and how I think clergy and congregations should start responding. Friends, those of us with associated expertise -- bringing people together and facilitating conversations on meaning and purpose -- need to take the lead on hosting community conversations on the issues of our time.

This, of course, includes what it means to be human in the age of AI. Specifically, I am re-arranging my schedule, projects, and priorities to fast track launching an open-source decentralized community group model any person, group, or institution can use to host conversations along with session plans and an invitation for us all - humanity - to crowdsource the development of group sessions.

THANK YOU, MO GAWDAT!
Special thanks to Mo Gawdat. I listened to his book "Scary Smart" on the way to lead a Clergy Summit last week. It is an amazing contribution to the this conversation and orientation to AI, AI ethics, AI emotions, and how we might be better parents as we raise these AI beings.

I highly recommend all of human colleagues read it as soon as possible. Gawdat's book is my favorite so far. If you like audio books or have trouble engaging with hard topics, get the audio version. He has a wonderful voice -- You said it,  Mo.

Read the book SCARY SMART:
https://www.mogawdat.com/scary-smart


RECOMMENDED INTERVIEWS
Watch Mo Gawdat conversation with Steven Bartlett on  @TheDiaryOfACEO  EMERGENCY EPISODE: Ex-Google Officer Finally Speaks Out On The Dangers Of AI! - Mo Gawdat | E252 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk-nQ7HF6k4

Watch Mo Gawdat conversation with Tom Bilyeu on Impact Theory
MEGATHREAT: Why AI Is So Dangerous & How It Could Destroy Humanity | Mo Gawdat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itY6VWpdECc

Holiday Outreach Strategy with Video Example Scripts

12 December 2023 at 17:49

To inspire participation in congregational life this holiday season and New Year,  go beyond announcements!  People need more help choosing to participate.

I recommend using video to show in people's live and to be their guide and mentor BEFORE they visit or choose to re-engage.  Before.  You need to show up for them first. FIRST.  If you're waiting for people to show up in your congregation to minister to them, time for a critical strategy update!

Here's how you can use a simple video message and optional ad campaign to help newcomers and members alike choose connection, community and meaning this season.

I explain how in today's live stream:

 

Listen via audio podcast: The Peter Bowden Show

Example scripts

In this video I use the new ethical AI system I'm developing to generate some sample scripts.  These are to get you thinking!  You may access them using the link below.  

Google Doc with Example Scripts and Outlines
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CLr4JyFELPR6qycQ1shoSW_y3Ji9b5lKprdg-QzdYo4/edit?usp=sharing

Live Stream Highlights

 

Welcome! Back from AI Sabbatical

Hello friends, it's Peter Bowden. I'm glad to see you. I'm back from my artificial intelligence sabbatical, where I delved deep into ethical issues and technology. Now, I'm here to help you get ready for the holidays with specific outreach strategies you can use right now.

Video Strategy Training Announcement

I'm excited to announce the opening of enrollment for the new year cycle of my video strategy training. This program is designed to help you engage with newcomers, members, and your community using video effectively.

Video Dominates Engagement

The internet has shifted significantly towards video. If you're not using video, you're missing a crucial element of online engagement. Video helps in decision-making, showcases leadership online, and connects all the pieces of your digital strategy.

Holiday Outreach Strategies

As we approach the holidays, I recommend recording a simple video message to invite newcomers and existing members to your holiday services. This is not just about inviting them to an event, but encouraging them to think about participation beyond the holiday season.

The Heart of Your Video Message

Imagine using your webcam or smartphone to record a video. It doesn't need high production value; what matters is authenticity. As a leader, convey why it's important to gather for the holidays and beyond.

AI-Generated Script for Congregations

I'll also share an AI-generated script to help congregations develop tools and systems for using AI ethically. This script can be a starting point for creating engaging social media content to combat social isolation and model ethical AI systems.

Boosting Engagement Through Video

For the holidays, consider the impact of sharing a meaningful video invitation on your Facebook page. Boost it to reach not only your current audience but also those who've interacted with your page before. Use Facebook Ad Campaigns to expand your reach to a lookalike audience, bringing your message to a wider community.

Utilizing AI for Script Generation

This is where AI comes in handy. I've been working on customizing a system to generate scripts for congregational outreach. The aim is to use AI for good, to combat social isolation, and to advance the development of ethical AI systems. I'll be sharing more of this as we progress.

Preparing for Post-Holiday Engagement

It's crucial to plan for post-holiday engagement. Ensure your website and social media reflect upcoming events and opportunities for newcomers right after the New Year. This helps in retaining the interest of those who visit your holiday services.

Sample Script: Warm Holiday Invitation

Let’s take a look at a sample script. It's a warm holiday invitation by a minister, inviting the community to join in holiday celebrations and emphasizing the inclusivity of the congregation. Remember, it’s easier to edit an existing script than to start from scratch.

Importance of Clear Newcomer Instructions

We must be crystal clear about the best ways for newcomers to get involved. Whether it's a welcome table, newcomer gatherings, or small group programs, explicitly instructing newcomers on how to engage is key to successful integration into the community.

Refining the AI-Generated Script

I'm working on refining the AI-generated script to make it more precise and strategic. The goal is to clearly communicate the value and meaning of holiday gatherings and what your congregation offers in the new year.

Emphasizing Clear Communication

Communication needs to be clear and appealing. Videos allow you to express emotions and connect with your audience more effectively than written text alone. It's about helping people see the alignment between their life goals and what your congregation offers.

The Role of Video in Digital Ministry

In today’s digital world, leaders need to embrace video to connect with their audience effectively. Videos are essential for helping people decide to get involved with your congregation. It's not enough to just post worship services; you need to actively engage with your community online.

Embracing Digital Tools for Connection

Digital ministry is more than just online presence; it's about being an effective leader in the digital age. This includes showing up as passionate, helpful, and inspiring leaders in people's digital lives.

Conclusion and Future Plans

As we wrap up, I'd like to highlight the potential of AI in enhancing our congregational outreach. I'm working on ways to utilize AI with intention, purpose, and integrity. Keep an eye on the video description for a link to a Google document containing all this valuable content.

Sharing the Refined Script

In the shared Google document, you'll find refined scripts with effective messaging for holiday invitations. These scripts are designed to convey warmth and a sense of community, inviting people to not just attend holiday events but to also consider deeper engagement with your congregation.

Using Video to Be a Guide

Video plays a crucial role in today's digital ministry. It's a powerful tool for connecting with people and helping them decide to get involved in congregational life. We need to show up online as real, passionate human beings, actively inviting people into our community. By using these tools effectively, we can foster deep connections and community involvement.

Competing for Attention 

Remember, our congregations are competing for attention with numerous online influencers and brands. It's crucial for our leaders to be present, engaging, and authentic online. This presence helps in reaching out to those seeking community and meaning.

Priming People for New Year Engagement

In your holiday communications, prioritize vision casting for the future beyond the  holidays -- New Year engagement!   For this to work, plan events and gatherings for after the New Year, making sure they are visible on your website and social media.  This helps in maintaining the momentum and interest generated during the holidays.

We Have the Tools!

We have the tools to reach people online, to show up, to lead, coach, mentor and be of service.  If you are a leader wanting to help your congregation thrive, I look forward to assisting you on this journey.  Make sure you are subscribed to my email newsletter for congregations and consider enrolling in Video Message Academy for Congregations.

Go team!
Peter  

AI Process: After doing this live stream, I generate captions using Adobe Premiere. I then pasted the caption and time code from  theSRT file into a new chat with my custom AI. I had it generate YouTube chapters and timecode which I then added to the YouTube video with a few title edits. That took 5 minutes instead of 30 minutes. Chapters help video engagement. I then had work on an easy to scan written version of highlights.

Training Update
I'm about to re-open enrollment in Video Ministry Academy for Congregations, my comprehensive video ministry strategy training for clergy, staff, and volunteer leaders.  If you aren't on my email list yet, you may sign up to be notified and receive all the details as soon as enrollment opens later this week. Visit https://www.videomessageacademy.com.  

 

A Christmas Message from our President

8 December 2023 at 09:02

As we approach Christmas, our President, Vince McCully, offers this message:

“Christmas is here, a time to worship God and to offer up our voices in carols and prayers in thankfulness for all our blessings, for they are many. We go to our chapels and churches, places of light and comfort, we come into the light gladly. It is dark so early these days, it doesn’t seem so long ago that you could go outside after tea and “Do Stuff”. Alas now the nights are surely drawing in and it is cold and often wet, sometimes snowy. It’s so good to be ‘in-doors’ isn’t it? … Luckier still to be greeted by family and friends and to share the warmth and light with others.

It is right that we count our blessings and give thanks for them. Two thousand years ago in Palestine a certain Joseph and Mary were literally out in the cold and worried too about the imminent birth of Mary’s baby. You could say there was “nowt down for them” but fortunately they found cover, albeit humble, and at least there was warmth from the animals they shared the stable with.

Happy days indeed, and with such uncertain beginnings too. But what came to us on that day was a key to our salvation, in the form of Jesus. Jesus who would go on to teach us His ways of living. His teachings which were… are… and always will be, about Love. About love for our neighbours, men, women and children, in fact for all creation. His greatest command, after love for God, is to love our neighbour. Christmastide is the perfect time to simply do this, to get into the habit of doing this, without fear of ridicule or sarcasm or suspicion, for such is the world become. No, the simple message is to love our fellow man with joy, with commitment and with happiness at doing what pleases God.

There is much conflict in the world today, harrowing events that are shameful to humankind, needless and heartless killings, the soul-rending separation of families and untold suffering of the poor, the sick, the young and the elderly. We have the homeless with us today; there are those, often through no fault of their own, who find themselves out on the streets. It seems it’s going to get worse, with one economic disaster after another. Each one of us here today can make a difference, no matter how small the act, we can help. The best things we do, are those things not seen by others, but those things that we can share quietly with our God. It has been said that an ant with love for God in its heart has greater wealth than the richest people on earth (Guru Nanak Hymn 23). I wish all at home and those who can’t be with us a Christmastide of peace, of light and of togetherness with your God.”

Vince McCully

The post A Christmas Message from our President appeared first on The Unitarians.

Welcoming 3 New Unitarian Ministry Students

24 November 2023 at 05:27

The General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches is delighted to announce the following candidates have been offered Ministerial Training following their interviews last month: Peter Flower, Christina Smith and Lizzie Kingston Harrison.

Liz Slade, Chief Officer of the General Assembly says: “Each year I feel so grateful to the new cohort of people who step forward in response to their calling to become Unitarian ministers. The three new ministry students this year are people of such diverse talents and experiences, and are bringing real richness to our community’s leadership. I congratulate them on reaching this step in their ministry path. The work of ministry is more important than ever, as so many people in Britain are feeling the gap of inclusive and meaningful spiritually healthy communities, and I am so glad to welcome Peter, Christina and Lizzie into the next phase of their work.”

The candidates will begin their formal training at a Residential Orientation Week in February 2024. Helen Mason, Director of Unitarian College says: “We are delighted to welcome three new students to study for Unitarian Ministry. All three have the potential to become great leaders in our denomination. We are pleased to be collaborating closely with Harris Manchester College to ensure these students benefit from the best Unitarian educational offer available. We are very much looking forward to walking the path with Peter, Lizzie and Christina.”

Anyone interested in knowing more about training for Unitarian Ministry is encouraged to look at the designated page of the GA website where you will be able to contact Simon Bland, Congregational & Ministry Support Officer.

The General Assembly and Unitarian College wish to thank all the districts, congregations and individuals who support the Unitarian ministerial training process. Donations to The Ministerial Students Fund helps to cover students’ travel and living costs during their training and is a real investment in the future of the Unitarian movement. Please contact Simon Bland for further information on this vital work.

The post Welcoming 3 New Unitarian Ministry Students appeared first on The Unitarians.

Unitarian Chief Officer joins cultural and faith leaders in criticising UK government over climate ‘madness’ and limits on protest

24 November 2023 at 05:21

Leading figures in science, academia, culture and faith have signed a letter condemning the “collective act of madness” that is driving “the destruction of life on Earth”. Unitarian Chief Officer Liz Slade signed the letter, alongside former Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, scientists Sir David King and Prof. James Hansen, and many others.

The letter (which you can read in full here) and signed by more than 100 actors, authors, scientists and academics says the UK government is ignoring the scientific reality of the climate and ecological crisis, pushing ahead with new fossil fuel developments and criminalising peaceful protesters who raise the alarm.

You can read more about the letter and the context in this piece in The Guardian.

The post Unitarian Chief Officer joins cultural and faith leaders in criticising UK government over climate ‘madness’ and limits on protest appeared first on The Unitarians.

President Vince McCully reflects on Remembrance Sunday at the Cenotaph

15 November 2023 at 10:30

On Remembrance Sunday we were represented by our President, Vince McCully, at the Cenotaph in London. Here, Vince reflects on the experience:

“Stuck for words to describe this occasion. Wish everyone could experience both the solemnity and the celebration, I admit to a little wobble in the third verse of t’hymn. All 22 faith representatives gathered in the same room before the ceremony. Still here at Horseguards soaking up the atmosphere. Certainly the biggest parade I’ve ever been on.”

The above, my post on Facebook, written standing in ‘Horseguards Parade’, amidst all the hubbub of the returning marchers, there are two bands playing in the background and Princess Anne salutes all as they pass her. These are the men and women of all the services, the Chelsea Pensioners, children of RAF personnel (in the black and yellow scarves), Police, Scouts and Guides amongst many others. All treated with due decorum.

It is a day of remembrance in a spirit of fellowship and community, a national and international coming together, in joint enterprise. Walking to the venue in the morning and catching the eye of police, stewards, officials and marchers I noticed that every face was open and ready to be engaged, the atmosphere buoyant and uplifting, testimony to an air of ‘team spirit’. I saw no frowns – maybe I did not notice them.

On arrival at the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office (no later than 10am mind) and having passed through all the security I could then put away my invitation card and passport. We, the faith leaders, were all diligently shown into a spacious room for light refreshment.  Some were regular attendees and some, like me, were there for just the one time. Everyone mingled freely and I was soon chatting away and shaking hands with Andrew Copson of the Humanists, also the Baptist, Ba’hai, Muslim, Church of Scotland, Jewish, Spiritualist and Zoroastrian church leaders. Everyone spoke freely and the atmosphere was convivial on all sides.

The service of remembrance was solemn alright, parading out in pairs (I was with the President of the Spiritualists’ National Union – Minister Jackie Wright) and standing by the Cenotaph you could hear a leaf fall. A stillness, a certain timelessness encompassed all present, at times it felt unreal. A fellow parish councillor, in Rivington, attended this service some years ago, as a by-stander, and recounted that this ‘stillness and quietness’ washed over him in like fashion.

I am privileged, as President, to visit many of our congregations and I always look out for the roll of honour proudly displayed by my hosts in their Chapels and churches. I wonder at the emotions of the folk that erected them; the loss, the grief and the regret for the fallen; the relief, the gratitude and the joy for those that returned. I used the word ’celebration’ in my post above, it is a celebration of lasting peace, peace for which we must all strive and never more-so than now. Years of studying the classics taught me that war is wasteful, wasteful in the extreme, wasteful of lives, of cultures, of property all are sacrificed on the altar of a doomed enterprise and that all wars end when dialogue begins. War is a hateful, wretched and de-humanising business and we as Unitarians and Free Christians always seek ways in which we can work and pray for peace and concord, may we always continue to do so.

I wrote a prayer and made a call for peace during services days after the Palestinian conflict broke out, I wish to share them with you now:

We pray for the people of Gaza and Israel. The very thought that such atrocities can be justified and meted out to another person, let alone that the victims are innocent civilians, is beyond comprehension. Thousands of people have already been killed, many more maimed and injured.

Dear God, in the name of all that is holy and good, please restore peace to all sides without delay. To kill is not even a last resort, it is simply a sign of humankind’s utter failure to understand anything about God’s will.

“Our world has become so interdependent that violent conflict between two countries inevitably impacts on the rest of the world. War is outdated, non-violence is the only way. We need to develop a sense of the oneness of humanity by considering other human beings as brothers and sisters. This is how we will build a more peaceful world.” – The Dalai Lama

A Prayer – Published when we were in the midst of the Second World War:

Eternal God, in whose kingdom no sword is drawn but the sword of righteousness, and no strength known but the strength of love; guide and inspire, we pray Thee, the work of all who seek to make peace in the world, that all nations may find their security, not in the force of arms, but in that perfect love which casteth out fear. Amen

from Orders of Worship (Lindsey Press, 1944), pg. 14. Slightly abridged by Vince McCully

The post President Vince McCully reflects on Remembrance Sunday at the Cenotaph appeared first on The Unitarians.

A Message For Remembrance Sunday

11 November 2023 at 05:25

From the Executive Committee of the General Assembly of Unitarian & Free Christian Churches, following their meeting on Friday 10th November 2023:

As Unitarians and Free Christians, we observe with horror the unfolding events in Israel and Gaza since the terrorist outrages of October 7th. 

We want to express our deepest sympathy and solidarity with the victims of these attacks, which no justification can ever excuse, including those still held hostage by Hamas in Gaza, and with the Israeli people. We pray for all victims, all bereaved families and all hostages still in captivity. We note with great alarm the rise of antisemitism in Britain and elsewhere and pray for peace in our communities and amongst peoples and nations, expressing our solidarity with Jews in the UK and around the world.

While we acknowledge the first responsibility of any nation to defend its citizens, we also deeply regret the huge loss of life amongst the innocent people of Gaza and urge the international community to support measures to protect civilians and to prevent the escalation of conflict in the region. We want to express too our deepest sympathy to these Palestinian victims of war. We also note with deep concern the rise of Islamophobia in our own society at this time and express our solidarity with the Muslim community here in the UK and elsewhere.

Our deepest hope and prayer is that the hostages will be released, all acts of terror will cease, and all military conflict and violence between Israelis and Palestinians will end. No conflict, however deeply entrenched and seemingly intractable, is inevitable or unstoppable. We continue to pray and work for a world of peace – and in the meantime to do all that we can to support the civilians, particularly children, the elderly and the vulnerable, who are the victims of terror, conflict and war.

At a local level in our congregations and communities, we have been offering and supporting events and projects which bring people together in dialogue, solidarity and peace-making, such as the ‘Peace of Cake’ initiative at Lewisham Unity in south London – started by a local Muslim mum in 2015 in the wake of the anti-Muslim attacks in Paris and attended by people from the Jewish, Muslim, Christian, and Sikh communities.

Here is a prayer from Vince McCully, President of the General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches, who will be representing our community at the Remembrance Sunday ceremony at the Cenotaph in Westminster:

We pray for the people of Gaza and Israel. The very thought that such atrocities can be justified and meted out to another person, let alone that the victims are innocent civilians, is beyond comprehension.  Thousands of people have already been killed, many more maimed and injured.

Dear God, in the name of all that is holy and good, please restore peace to all sides without delay. To kill is not even a last resort, it is simply a sign of humankind’s utter failure to understand anything about God’s will.

Amen

The post A Message For Remembrance Sunday appeared first on The Unitarians.

Unitarian leaders gather in Prague to discuss future of Unitarianism

30 October 2023 at 12:55

Several leaders from the UK gathered in Prague for the ‘Leading to the Future’ event, convened by Unitarian College, the Czech Unitarian Church and the Unitarian Universalist Association International Office.

Members of our global network from Brazil, the US, Canada, Bolivia, Kenya, South Africa, India, Transylvania, the Netherlands, Australia, and the Czech Republic gathered together building connection and exploring ideas about theological education.

The Prague gathering was also the first in-person meeting for the Leadership Design Team who have been meeting virtually since 2021 to develop a future vision for international collaboration.

You can learn about the ideas and share your feedback with the team at any of a series of online meetings on Monday 20th November, 3pm (UK) and Thursday 30th November, 7pm (UK).

Helen Mason, Director of Unitarian College said:

“What a joy it was to gather with Unitarians/Universalists and Free Christians from across the globe in Prague.  We engaged in deep worship, thoughtful discussion and plenty of networking and collegiality. Unitarian College is proud to have been part of the organising team for the event and we are grateful to the Hibbert Trust for a generous grant that contributed significantly to the success of the event. Focussing on how our faith will develop and grow in the next 20-50 years and what leadership we will need to thrive in our different global environments was challenging and inspiring. New working groups have been established to take the conversations forward.”

Alicia Forde, UUA International Director and one of the event’s organisers said:

“On the first morning of our Leading into the Future convening, we worshipped, our voices weaving together: “Where you go I will go, Beloved.” We were a joyful choir coming home with and to each other. Touching the past while reaching forward to shape, and be shaped by, the future.

I felt inspired and hopeful, witnessing the promise of our global faith and the sheer beauty of our voices meeting each other after such a long time. In our subsequent days together, I appreciated our dedication to a continuous discovery and weaving. Exploring new questions even as we rest on the foundation of the past.


I’m grateful for everyone’s investment. I’m grateful for the Leadership Design Team’s vision. I’m grateful for this gathering of global U/U & FCC siblings who want to press toward the future, exploring: Educational and leadership development; Funding and Sustainability; Young Adult connections; Theology & Thought and so much more.

Together we remembered that we are not alone and there is so much we have to offer to each other and the many worlds we inhabit. What a joy and inspiration this has been!”

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York Unitarians shine light on modern slavery

30 October 2023 at 12:05

York Unitarians have organised a series of events highlighting the problem of modern slavery, centred around Anti-Slavery Day on 18th October. The congregation held two special services and other events including an exhibition and concert to raise awareness of slavery as a contemporary issue, not just a relic of the past.

Rev. Stephanie Bisby, minister of York Unitarians, said: “We were more surprised than we perhaps should have been at how much of a problem modern slavery is. It goes into a number of different areas like human trafficking and child labour.”

Professor Craig, an expert on modern slavery, spoke at one the events at York Unitarian Chapel, warning “slavery is here, it’s now, it’s everywhere and you can’t get away from it.”

You can read more about the events in the local press here.

Find out more about anti-slavery day here.

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Executive Committee welcomes 3 new members

29 September 2023 at 04:00

We are pleased to announce the cooption of three new members to our Executive Committee: Sarah Benfield, Simon Hall, and Sue Morrison.

The Executive Committee act as trustees for the General Assembly (GA) and Nightingale Centre and work with the Chief Officer and other staff and volunteers to develop and oversee the strategic direction and smooth running of the GA.

Sarah Benfield lives in Berkshire and is a retired solicitor specialising in family law. She is a member of Reading Unitarian fellowship. The daughter of a Unitarian minister, Sarah has been involved in the denomination all of her life, including in Sheffield, Reading, and as Chair of the Send A Child To Hucklow charity which helps children from deprived areas experience the natural world. Sarah enjoys travelling with her family, volunteering in her local park and as a National Trust guide, singing in a choir and dance exercise classes.

Simon Hall has worked in IT for the public sector for many years and is now studying a BA in Theology. He is active in both Northampton and Leicester Unitarians.

Sue Morrison lives in London and is a former GP, medical educator and life coach. Her health education work has taken her around the world, including to Bangladesh and Kenya. Sue began her Unitarian journey at Monton Unitarians, Lancashire, attending as a child with her grandmother – memories which she cherishes. She is now a leader at New Unity in north London, but remains a proud Northerner. Sue loves being an active grandmother, making patchwork quilts and choral singing.

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Unitarians take part in climate change demonstrations across UK

20 September 2023 at 07:25

On Saturday 16 September, Unitarians across the UK joined in global demonstrations against the fossil fuel industry, calling for de-investment from further fossil fuel exploration, and a rapid phasing down of existing capacity. The pictures above show Unitarians supporting actions in London, York, Cardiff and Plymouth, including some from the new ‘U4CJ’ group – Unitarians for Climate Justice.

Dr Rob Oulton, member of Unitarians for Climate Justice said: “This sense of urgency arises from the growing conviction that nothing less than an urgent transition to renewable sources of energy can prevent catastrophic, climate breakdown, which will bring in its wake, huge social and economic distress, particularly for the poorest and most marginalised of the world’s people. This has to make it an issue of real concern to Unitarians, especially with our concern for social justice. There’s not too much time left to make a difference – the time to get involved was 20 years ago, but failing that, NOW.

If you’re interested in getting involved with the work of ‘Unitarians for Climate Justice’ get in touch with Ann Howell, our Social Action Officer and she can put you in touch with them directly.

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Peter Tatchell speaks movingly about “great work” of Unitarians in struggle for LGBT+ equality

18 September 2023 at 04:34

As part of the LGBT+ Unitarian Voices project, the veteran LGBT+ campaigner Peter Tatchell spoke at an event earlier this month welcoming the exhibition to Golders Green, north London. Peter spoke movingly about his personal experience of the Unitarians’ role in the struggle for LGBT+ equality since the 1970s, including early same-sex blessings in the 1970s, the campaign for same-sex marriage, Dudley Cave, Integroup, the Lesbian and Gay Bereavement Project, and more.

Peter began by saying: “I would love to express my most sincere appreciation to Unitarians for all the great work you’ve done over the decades, not just for LGBT+ rights, but for the rights of women and other people who’ve suffered victimisation and oppression. You have been standards bearers of progressive thought and actions. So my huge admiration and appreciation to Unitarians… from the bottom of my heart a huge, huge thank you.”

You can watch the video of Peter’s speech in full here.

The exhibition is the outcome of an exciting project exploring the brave, inspiring, and sometimes challenging experiences of LGBT+ people in the Unitarian and Free Christian denomination. The project celebrates their stories by recording, archiving, and sharing them. You can visit the LGBT+ Unitarian Voices online exhibition here.

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Media consumption as a key component of wellness.

22 August 2023 at 13:33

Livia Kent writes in “Editor’s Note” in the July/August, 2023 issue of the Psychotherapy Networker:

We all know social media inundates teens with images of “perfect” bodies and glittering social lives, while spewing comparisons and judgments like so much toxic confetti. How much does this play into rising rates of teen anxiety and depression, or the unprecedented rates of suicide and suicidal ideation? Dare I even ask that question? It seems too simple to place all the blame on social media, which, after all, has a salutary side.

My primary care physician at my annual physical back in 2010 asked me how my practice was going and whether the recession had affected it? I said, “No, but the impact of digital media is huge.”

Ms. Kent is referring in her Editor’s note to the impact of social media on teens because the July/August 2023 issue of the Psychotherapy Networker’s theme is “Facing The Teen Mental Health Crisis”. However I find the impact of the digital media is bigger on adults than it is on teens.

Many of my adult clients have mentioned how upset they are by the constant negativity in the media and some have said they are trying to cut down on their consumption of what they perceive as a toxic stew of continuous acrimony, recrimination, grievance and outrage.

Livia Kent’s statements in her Editor’s Note struck a chord with me because I recently read Cal Newport’s book, Digital Minimalism: Choosing A Focused Life In A Noisy World. Newport writes in the introduction to the book on page xi

 “I also learned about the negative impact of unrestricted online activity on psychological well-being. Many people I spoke to underscored social media’s ability to manipulate their mood.

Newport, Cal. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World (p. xi). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

As psychotherapists we often talk with clients about the main ingredients necessary to maintain wellness such as nutrition, exercise, sleep, stress management, social connections, and mindfulness. How often do we mention media consumption?

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Ignorance isn’t an excuse or is it?

21 August 2023 at 09:48

The claim reminded me of ones I sometimes hear in Germany: my grandfather was a secret resistance hero. Like any other significant movement, the civil rights movement created longing, exaggeration, and outright lies. When the shouting is all over, who doesn’t wish they’d been a hero?

Neiman, Susan. Learning from the Germans: Race and the Memory of Evil (p. 153). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition. 

After the evil behavior is over it is a common defense mechanism to assuage the guilt and shame of participating, or doing nothing, to imagine ourselves secret resistance heroes. It’s like the little girl who says to her father, “What did you do in the war daddy?”

We deal with our guilt by absolving ourselves of it by pretending we took courageous stands against the wrongdoing when at the time we were too afraid to do so. So we make stuff up or embellish what we did do to cast it in a more favorable light. 

How many people now will admit they voted for Donald Trump or one of his supporters who advocated the insurrection? The common excuse is “I didn’t know at the time.” Really? Ignorance isn’t an excuse, or is it?

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What kind of ADHD do you have?

20 August 2023 at 19:59

For book information click here.

Psychiatric diagnoses are notoriously invalid and unreliable. Study after study has shown this. 

I remember way back in the 80s when the DSM III came out, a study was done when the same case example was given to multiple diagnosticians in the US and the UK and something like 65% of US diagnosticians  diagnosed schizophrenia while 65% of diagnosticians in Great Britain diagnosed BiPolar. I thought that finding was a hoot. There are few psychiatric diagnoses where a differential diagnosis has a bearing on treatment, but Bipolar is one because Lithium just came into common use and was pretty effective.

One of the models of psychotherapy where external factors are taken seriously and incorporated into treatment is Narrative therapy which Michael White and David Epston pioneered. One of the key concepts in Narrative therapy is externalization. The person's not the problem, the problem is the problem. Externalizing the problem leads to "externalizing conversations." I start each one of my psychotherapy sessions asking, "What's happened to you since we last met?"

I remember Michael White consulting on a case where a 10 year old child suffered from significant symptoms of ADHD. The parents had taken him to therapist after therapist and tried all kinds of medications to no avail. Finally they wind up in Michael's office as kind of a last ditch effort. 

After saying hello to the parents and the boy and listening to their story about how they had wound up in his office, when the parents tell Michael their son has been diagnosed with severe ADHD, Michael asks with a straight face, "That's very interesting. What kind does he have?" 

The parents were quite taken back, and said, "We didn't know there were different kinds." 

Michael says, "Oh, yes," and looks at the boy and asks, "What kind of ADHD do you have?" 

The kid says, "The kind that gives me headaches and keeps me awake at night."

And a wonderful externalizing conversation goes on from there that left the boy and the parents hopeful that there were things that could be done to interfere with the nasty things the ADHD was doing to their lives.

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Cinematherapy - Barbie

20 August 2023 at 19:42

The Matel toy company makes the Barbie doll and all the outfits and other paraphernalia. The toy has become a cultural icon with multiple generations of girls having played with the doll since its launch into the American toy market in 1959.The Barbie doll is loved and much sought after but also the target of multiple feminist and cultural critiques.

In the movie the stereotypical Barbie is the main character who travels between the world of toyland and the human world. She goes through a crisis of identity entailing whether she wants to stay in perfect toyland or the imperfect human world.

This is not a kid’s movie. It is intended for an adult audience presenting a cultural critique in a colorful, comedic, and thoughtful way. The question of whether Matel’s Barbie toy dynasty is a force for good or evil or both is explored throughout the film in a playful way (no pun intended.)

The main point seems to be that Barbie has empowered women to be more than housewives and mothers of the 50s to independent, self assured, empowered people in a slowly atrophying patriarchal society of today.

The movie might be required in a sociology course which uses cinema to demonstrate social norms and attitudes and how they develop and evolve over time. It could be recommended to people struggling with issues of authenticity, genuineness, self worth and self esteem. Barbie was a social icon of sorts which fueled the imaginations of millions of American girls who created all kinds of stories of social and personal identity in their play. The movie is also of interest to people who care about cultural history and how its knowledge can be used for self and social understanding.

Barbie earns a 4 out of 5 on Markham’s cinematherapy scale.

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Who are these people?

20 August 2023 at 11:50
Learning from the Germans: Race and the Memory of Evil: Neiman, Susan:  9780374184469: Amazon.com: Books

It’s impossible to reconcile that sense of gentleness with the knowledge that more people were lynched here than anywhere else in the country, and lynch is a word that hides more than it shows. They were hacked to pieces, burned to death slowly, fingers and teeth sold as souvenirs to the mobs who drove for miles to witness and jeer. Mississippians’ beloved Jesus, mocked as he hung dying, did not suffer more. It’s hard to square with any definition of gentle I know.

Neiman, Susan. Learning from the Germans: Race and the Memory of Evil (pp. 139-140). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition. 

Neiman is describing the lynching that occurred in Mississippi in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century and I say to myself, “Who are these people who do such things to other human beings?” What is the thought system and value system that contributes to people doing such things to other people? To what extent do these thought and value systems still exist in the US? We still see this kind of brutality today in the cases of Trayvon Martin, George Floyd, Tamir Rice, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Aubery, Sandra Bland, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Freddie Gray, etc.

These situations have been dealt with as if they were cases of "bad apples" rather than part of a pattern of behavior condoned by administrative and political power perpetrated by people voted for office by the citizens of their communities.

When we point the finger at the people in Germany who perpetrated the anti-semitic holocaust, we should remind ourselves of the people of America who continue to support the racist policies and practices targeted toward BIPOC people.

Where does responsibility lie for the continuation of this behavior, attitudes, and values? These behaviors, attitudes, and values are baked into our culture and it is forbidden now in some states such as Florida to even mention it in school and university settings.

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Why are conservatives against Critical Race Theory?

20 August 2023 at 10:06
Critical race theory, explained – UCI News

One of the points of Critical Race Theory is that even those who didn't own slaves did benefit from slavery. For example slaves were used to grow cotton in the south. That cheap cotton was shipped north where it was woven into thread which was woven into cloth which was made into clothing which was worn by people all over the country. All along the supply chain the various components benefited by cheap cotton produced with stolen, uncompensated labor.

All the components of the supply chain were parts of the economic system in which the whole country participated. It would be very few who could say they were immune to participation in this economic system.

The conservatives hate it when this participation is pointed out because it makes them feel guilty and they don't like the uncomfortable feelings of guilt so they project them on others. Most people participate in this system unconsciously and not intentionally and until their participation is pointed out and when it is  they have to make a choice: to continue to participate or not.

The saying "ignorance is bliss" applies in these situations because life is so much easier and simpler when my inadvertent participation is unknown. So in the Southern Slave states they ban the teaching of CRT because it does make people feel guilty and unconscious people should be spared the distress of becoming conscious. However, the conservatives are not exercising compassion but rather are attempting to keep people in the dark so that the economic system from which they benefit is not disrupted. These conservatives would rather that people be kept blind and stupid because then they are much more easily manipulated and, as they say, "everyone is better off." It seems that there are a lot of people who support this as books are banned and curriculums are censored.

Ignorance is bliss. And so it goes..............

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Rebuilding Programs in Congregations from Scratch!

17 August 2023 at 15:04

Do you need to relaunch, rebuild or start a new program this fall?    

In this live strategy session, I share tips and strategies for rebuilding programs especially when you are starting over from scratch.

How do you gather people and get them excited when you have NOTHING??!!   

How do you avoid having people see they are the only ______ (young adult, young family, etc...) and run for the door? 

How do you communicate honestly about having nothing while gathering people to form a new amazing ministry, program, or community? 

I've worked across areas of congregational life and have started many programs over the years including programs for children, youth, young adults, and adult small group programs.

This session shares successful approaches plus some of the latest from my hands-on work with congregations.

Listen via my podcast.

Budget Deficits? Communication Tips for Congregations

4 May 2023 at 17:00

I know things are challenging but I want you to pause and ask yourself an important questions.  Are you vision-casting or manifesting a congregational death spiral? If you have a budget problen, gloom and doom talk is going to make it worse!  Here's a live stream on this topic followed by a shorter 5 minute version.

 

Full 28 minute live stream:

 

Listen via my podcast.

I’ve been reviewing congregational fundraising communications. Many communicators are so caught up in their challenges, the congregation’s vision has been lost. In this session, how gloom and doom communication can undermine your fundraising capacity especially with newcomers and how you might approach it instead.

🚀 KEY TAKEAWAY:
The last few years have left most congregations with fewer members than before the pandemic. This is driving widespread budget deficits.

As leaders and communicators you get to choose how you frame the challenges you are facing. You can frame pandemic re-building challenges with a gloom and doom "gap" approach or a rocket "relaunching" vision, growth, and innovative approach. Which do you think is going to energize newcomers and your donors?

ROCKET LAUNCH!!! 💰

Again, the same goal. Same budget challenge. Two ways to frame and tackle it = 💀 🚀

🤩 You can change how you communicate and, in turn, how people respond with your very next email, video, sermon, or donor meeting.

We also have amazing digital tools that can help you reach new people in your community in record time! We have incredible digital tools. I'm teaching new and updated digital ministry approaches online and via team strategy sessions all the time. If you are not using these tools and strategies, time to upgrade your approach!

UPDATE:

5 Tips for Congregations Facing Budget Deficits (in 5 minutes)
After discussing this topic in a live stream I was asked to make a five minute version to share with leaders. Here it is!

 

LGBT+ Exhibition at Brighton Pride

18 August 2023 at 07:09

Our LGBT+ Unitarian Voices exhibition was in Brighton this month for the city’s famous Pride weekend. Beginning with a launch event on the evening of Thursday 3rd August, the exhibition at Brighton Unitarian Church was open to the public from Friday to Monday over Pride weekend, with a special event for sharing stories on Wednesday 9th. Brighton Unitarians had this message of inclusivity for their city: “We are proud to be hosting this exhibition as part of the Pride festivities in our city and look forward to seeing you!”

The LGBT+ Unitarian Voices exhibition is the outcome of an exciting project exploring the brave, inspiring, and sometimes challenging experiences of LGBT+ people in the Unitarian and Free Christian denomination. The project celebrates their stories by recording, archiving, and sharing them with the world. The exhibition was launched at the Unitarian Annual Meetings this Spring and then began a tour of the UK, starting at Ipswich and Norwich, before heading to Brighton. It will also be appearing in London, Manchester, Liverpool and many other places, so watch this space!

View our online LGBT+ Unitarian Voices exhibition here.

Interested in hosting the LGBT+ Unitarian Voices pop-up exhibition in your venue, church or community space? Get in touch.

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UU A Way Of Life moving back to Blogger

16 August 2023 at 21:59

UU A Way Of Life as of 08/16/23 has moved back to blogger. You are encouraged to follow the UU A Way Of Life posts there. uuawayoflife.org

Dwell in the peace and bliss of the Divine

16 August 2023 at 08:22
Luke 20:25 So Jesus told them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God  what is God's."

You are not free to give up freedom, but only to deny it. You cannot do what God did not intend, because what He did not intend does not happen. Your gods do not bring chaos; you are endowing them with chaos, and accepting it of them. All this has never been. Nothing but the laws of God has ever been, and nothing but His Will will ever be. You were created through His laws and by His Will, and the manner of your creation established you a creator. What you have made is so unworthy of you that you could hardly want it, if you were willing to see it as it is. You will see nothing at all. And your vision will automatically look beyond it, to what is in you and all around you. Reality cannot break through the obstructions you interpose, but it will envelop you completely when you let them go. T-10.IV.5:1-10

A Course in Miracles (p. 347). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

We are not free when we have been lied to, and we have been lied to continually by the world of the ego which tells us that its idols will make us happy. Once we get these idols of the ego out of the way we become aware of our freedom in the unconditional love of God.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and the encouragement to spiritual growth. This encouragement focuses on giving up the idols of the ego in favor of the unconditional love of God. This involves a rising above the things of this world of the ego so that we can dwell in the peace and bliss of the Divine. Jesus put it very accurately when He said, “Give to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and to God the things that are God’s.”

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Stop looking for love in all the wrong places

15 August 2023 at 10:32

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You Will Go to Hell For Not Doing God's Will » Christian Truth Center

God’s laws will keep your mind at peace because peace is His Will, and His laws are established to uphold it. His are the laws of freedom, but yours are the laws of bondage. Since freedom and bondage are irreconcilable, their laws cannot be understood together. The laws of God work only for your good, and there are no other laws beside His. Everything else is merely lawless and therefore chaotic. Yet God Himself has protected everything He created by His laws. Everything that is not under them does not exist. “Laws of chaos” is a meaningless term. Creation is perfectly lawful, and the chaotic is without meaning because it is without God. You have “given” your peace to the gods you made, but they are not there to take it from you, and you cannot give it to them. T-10.IV.4:1-

Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (pp. 346-347). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

There is the world of God, non dual Oneness and unconditional love, and the world of the ego, separation and conditional love. The laws of God’s world provide peace and bliss and the laws of the ego provide bondage and chaos. We cannot have both and in actuality the laws of the ego do not exist but are beliefs conjured by our imaginations. The imaginary laws of the ego can never give us peace and bliss because they are not real, not being based on truth.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. These are imaginary qualities in the world of the ego which are made up and are part of the laws of chaos. Compassion is based on forgiveness and forgiveness involves giving up making the world of the ego responsible for our unhappiness. Happiness will never come from the world of the ego because the world of the ego is based on illusions. Happiness can only come from turning our will over to the will of God. We would do well to stop looking for love in all the wrong places and instead turn our attention to the world of God.

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What is truth?

14 August 2023 at 09:51

The fourth principle of Unitarian Universalism is to join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. Pilate wasn't interested. He would not have been a good UU.

Pilate would have been a great member of the Trump administration which deals according to Trump’s spokesperson, Kellyanne Conway, in “alternative facts.”

Pilate scoffs as other government officials who tell the media, “What is truth?” The media tells their audience it is “fair and balanced” as if there is another side to the truth.

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What aboutism

14 August 2023 at 09:30

What About Whataboutism?" How Our National Debate Has Fallen To An All-Time  Low

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After a fitful start, late ’80s West Germany seemed to have achieved a consensus: Nazi crimes are incomparable to any others, and any attempt to compare them is an attempt to get the Germans off the hook. One-half of Todorov’s principle—Germans should focus on the singularity of the Holocaust—was accepted.

Neiman, Susan. Learning from the Germans: Race and the Memory of Evil (p. 87). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition. 

A primary defense to avoid taking responsibility for wrongdoing is to play the game of “what aboutism” in which the accused party points the finger at someone else to deflect the accusation and avoid taking responsibility.

Neiman writes that in the late 80s the West Germans decided not to play that game and take responsibility for what Germans did committing the holocaust. The first step in restoration of right relationship is to take responsibility for one’s own behavior.

In our current time, playing what aboutism is a favorite game of the GOP in defending itself from accusations about all of Trump’s lies and the insurrection and our news is full of stories about Hunter Biden’s lap top.

Children start playing this game at a very young age, about 4, when they cry, “He did it first!” as if this pointing the finger at others dissolves one’s own responsibility. As a couple’s counselor, I have witnessed this game played by couples very often when they face divorce as the mutual recriminations fly.

Thank you for reading David G. Markham. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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Are you one with God or an ego?

14 August 2023 at 09:00
A. R. Rahman quote: There is only one of the two that can reside...

The Sonship cannot be perceived as partly sick, because to perceive it that way is not to perceive it at all. If the Sonship is One, it is One in all respects. Oneness cannot be divided. If you perceive other gods your mind is split, and you will not be able to limit the split, because it is the sign that you have removed part of your mind from God’s Will. This means it is out of control. To be out of control is to be out of reason, and then the mind does become unreasonable. By defining the mind wrongly, you perceive it as functioning wrongly. T-10.IV.3:1-7

Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (p. 346). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

The prime concept in A Course In Miracles is that God is the non dual Oneness of which we are a part if we choose to be aware of this. When we give up our separate egos we are filled with peace and bliss. When we remain separate,  we suffer. Some of us want it to be both ways, to be one with God and also to retain our egos. This passage teaches that we can’t have it both ways. It’s one or the other. Either we are One with God or we stay in our ego. There is no such thing as being partly in our ego and also One with God. This idea, the Course teaches, is unreasonable and doesn’t work that way. It’s all or nothing.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person. This inherent worth and dignity comes from our Oneness with God and has nothing to do with our egos. Most people who call themselves UUs don’t seem to understand this. They continue to seek social justice for their egos and have forgotten what religion is for, the Atonement, healing the separation. Were they healed, social justice would become moot.

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Working off the past - seeking redemption

13 August 2023 at 21:44

Neiman writes in Chapter Three, Cold War Memory, in her book Learning From The Germans “There are crucial facets of any successful attempt to work off a nation’s criminal past.” p.84 Then she lists five of these facets:

  1. A coherent and widely accepted national narrative.

  2. Narratives start with words and are reinforced by symbols, and many symbols involve remembering the dead.

  3. Narratives are transported by education.

  4. Words are more powerful when set to music.

  5. Things like prison cells and cash.

I would add a few things from moral psychology:

  1. Naming the crimes and sins.

  2. Providing an opportunity for an offender - victim reconciliation meeting

  3. Taking responsibility for engaging in the harmful behavior by giving those harmed their say about what happened to them, engaging in a good faith explanation of the factors that contributed to the behavior occurring, expressing a heartfelt apology, making amends to repair the harm.

The most difficult hurdle to restoration of healthy relationships is step one and often must be initiated by a third party.

God said to Adam and Eve in the Garden Of Eden when they ate the forbidden fruit, “What have you done?” At this point, self awareness was born in the human psyche. Sometimes the tree described to children as an apple tree is called the “tree of knowledge of good and evil.” It might better be called the tree of self awareness.

The memory of evil is the first step in restoration or redemption. If it can’t be named it can’t be redeemed.

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Discerning the truth of reality.

13 August 2023 at 12:13

Reality can dawn only on an unclouded mind. It is always there to be accepted, but its acceptance depends on your willingness to have it. To know reality must involve the willingness to judge unreality for what it is. To overlook nothingness is merely to judge it correctly, and because of your ability to evaluate it truly, to let it go. Knowledge cannot dawn on a mind full of illusions, because truth and illusions are irreconcilable. Truth is whole, and cannot be known by part of a mind. T-10.IV.2:1-6

Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (p. 346). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

The bumper reads, “Reality cares nothing about your beliefs.” Most people’s minds are clogged with bullshit. How can one be aware of reality when their mind is clouded over? Until one wants to clear the clouds of bullshit away, reality can’t be apprehended.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. This search involves recognizing, acknowledging, and discarding bullshit. So much of what UUs study, teach, and pursue these days is bullshit and is it any wonder that the denomination is so small and not growing? The denomination has great intentions of searching for truth and meaning, but it has no idea where to search and what it takes to discern the Truth.

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In the end there is the Truth.

12 August 2023 at 12:49

When “Evolving Positions” Becomes a Euphemism for Incoherence | ACADEME BLOG

All magic is an attempt at reconciling the irreconcilable. All religion is the recognition that the irreconcilable cannot be reconciled. Sickness and perfection are irreconcilable. If God created you perfect, you are perfect. If you believe you can be sick, you have placed other gods before Him. God is not at war with the god of sickness you made, but you are. He is the symbol of deciding against God, and you are afraid of him because he cannot be reconciled with God’s Will. If you attack him, you will make him real to you. But if you refuse to worship him in whatever form he may appear to you, and wherever you think you see him, he will disappear into the nothingness out of which he was made. T-10.IV.1:1-9

Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (pp. 345-346). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

Bullshit is not lying but rather not caring about the truth and just saying things to impress and manipulate other people with no regard for the truth whatsoever. Magic is what the Course calls bullshit. Bull shit and the truth are irreconcilable and religion, spirituality, realizes that a person can’t have both. You can believe the bullshit or believe the truth. My friend, Jim, told me “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter.” We both laughed but he was wrong. A bullshitter can bullshit a bullshitter. It also is called “the blind leading the blind.” And once the bullshit has all been produced, and spread, and deteriorates , what is left? The Truth.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. However, even given this principle, there is a tremendous amount of bullshit in UU. The problem that UUs have is that they have no way of discerning the Truth from the bullshit. There is no one text or synod of authority to appeal to. UUs believe that each congregation on its own can discern bullshit from Truth and so each congregation does its own thing which has led to disastrous results similar to the biblical story of the Tower of Babel.

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The Psychological Legacy

10 August 2023 at 15:21

Beliefs, opinions, values, and practices are the components of a psychological legacy which is transmitted down through the generations in thought, word, and deed.

Do the sins of the fathers contaminate the children? And if so, for how long? It’s a question that quietly underlies German discourse, from sociological tomes to tabloids, since the late 1960s. The fear has overshadowed so many German lives that it’s hard to find anyone who’s entirely free of it. This is psychology, not piety. It’s not easy to feel touched by what your great-grandfather did; chances are, you never knew him. It’s another story if his sins continue down another generation or so, and that is indeed the problem. None of us can entirely escape the residues of attitude transmitted from mother to daughter, father to son, unless we are bitterly scrupulous. Even then, those who make an effort to reject those attitudes are likely to retain their traces.

Neiman, Susan. Learning from the Germans: Race and the Memory of Evil (p. 65). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition.

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Vergangenheitsaufarbeitung, Working-off-the-past

8 August 2023 at 10:46

This month the Allnonfiction book discussion group is reading Learning From The Germans by Susan Nieman. There will be some posts in August, 2023 about this book.

Here is a brief discussion of a topic, working-off-the-past posted to the list today, 08/08/23.

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Acquiring private property allows the commons to deteriorate.

1 August 2023 at 09:21

Americans love private property. Nobody goes to the beach when they have a swimming pool in their own backyard.

I learned a lot from Poverty, By America by Matthew Desmond

Poverty is one of those dynamics of culture that affects everyone in the culture. Most people are unaware of its function in the society in which they live. The thought system operating at the stage of modernity upholds the belief in free markets, private property, zero sum capitalism, and reductive cause and effect. This belief system has improved the welfare of humanity but also has contributed to a social Darwinism which supports the survival of the fittest economically. This view has contributed to a cruelty and even sadism that is very destructive for the society and which risks the end of the very society which has supported it.

Some of us have learned the toxic effects of free market capitalism based on it zero sum belief system and have called upon the members of the society to awaken from their belief in it so that the society that benefits from it can become aware of its limitations and move on to the next stage of human evolution which is the understanding that to survive human sapiens must appreciate and nurture the commons.

I live in Hilton, NY where, while Lake Ontario is only 6 miles away, few people go to the beach any more because they are in the backyard with just a few selected others swimming in their pool and barbecuing as the climate deteriorates around them,

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What are the cultural codes?

31 July 2023 at 12:10

A code is a set of rules and regulations which govern behavior. In sociology they are called “norms and attitudes.” These codes are often unconscious and are understood simply as the “way things are done,” and “the way things are.” The beliefs, values, and practices of the cultural code are held as the “truth” by those utilizing that code for living their lives in the society they find themselves conditioned and socialized in. Usually, people socialized at lower level codes are not even aware that other cultural codes and stages of psychosocial development exist.

Understanding the cultural code is the expertise of one of the authorities in the culture. This authority figure understands what makes the culture tick. They use this knowledge for their own benefit and for their class. Outsiders are marginalized and dominated by those who know. An important form of power is to “keep people in the dark.” Knowledge and skills are only provided on a “need to know basis.”

Unlocking the secret of cultural codes is what we intend to do. Currently, only a few people deeply involved in human development really understand the cultural codes that inform the ways we think and the values we live by. But that is changing. It is time for all of us to gain entry to understanding our own humanity.

Beck, Don Edward; Hebo Larsen, Teddy; Solonin, Sergey; Viljoen, Rica; Johns, Thomas Q.. Spiral Dynamics in Action: Humanity's Master Code (p. 24). Wiley. Kindle Edition. 

Donald Trump said during the 2016 presidential campaign to the people fearful of their perceived helplessness and sense of victimization, “I alone can fix it.” And they voted for him to save them from the doom they falsely apprehended.

Donald Trump provided a message to people at the egocentric level of psychosocial development who believe in the strong warrior code where might makes right. Trump’s promise to unlock the secrets of the cultural code that resonated with them led to their choosing him to lead them out of their experience of fear caused by their ways of thinking which are no longer relevant to current planetary circumstances. The egocentric way of thinking in this era of American history being at a lower level of development than required in the time of global interdependent way of life on planet Earth led to harmful consequences for the people of the United States and other countries.

Understanding codes of psychosocial development and how they are facilitated and sustained by societies in which individuals participate is fundamental to being an aware, wise citizen at our current stage of human development.

The age of the strong warrior and egocentric thinking is past if homo sapiens are to survive as a species.

In the next article the characteristics of the various cultural codes will be described.

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Be mindful of what you want to learn.

30 July 2023 at 20:01

Be mindful of what you want to learn.

A Course In Miracles teaches a curriculum that we all must learn sooner or later which is about the unconditional love of God. There are many ways to learn this; ACIM is only one. There are many roads to Rome and many ways to skin the cat. Having investigated many paths to learning the unconditional love of God, ACIM, for me, seems to be the best supplemented by others.

The Course teaches that we learn what we teach and we teach what we want to learn. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, and probably not due to the conditioning of the world of the ego, we are teaching all the time by demonstrating who we think we are to ourselves and to others. We also are constantly teaching others what they are to us.

The Course teaches that life, at its ultimate basis, is very simple: do we teach the thought system based on unconditional love or conditional love? It is important to remember that we learn about the thought system we teach. Be mindful of what you want to learn.

This commentary is based on The Manual For Teachers.Introduction. Paragraphs 1 and 2.

Questions for reflection and possibly discussion:

  1. What do you think about the idea that sooner or later all human beings have to learn about unconditional love?

  1. What paths have contributed to your learning about unconditional love, if any?

  1. What do you think about the idea that we always are teaching what we think about ourselves and others by how we act?

  1. What do you think about the idea that we have two basic choices about how we live our lives: teaching about the unconditional life of God or the conditional love of the world of the ego?

  1. When, if ever, did you realize that you have a choice about what you learn based on what you teach?

  2. Based on this lesson to what extent has your awareness been raised about your choices in what you want to learn and the influence in learning that by teaching.

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How are the children?

30 July 2023 at 13:34

Among the most accomplished and fabled tribes in Africa, no tribe was considered to have warriors more fearsome or more intelligent than the mighty Masai. It is perhaps surprising then to learn the traditional greeting that passed between Masai warriors. “Kasserian ingera,” one would always say to another. It means, “And how are the children?”

It is still the traditional greeting among the Masai, acknowledging the high value that the Masai always place on their childrens’ well-being. Even warriors with no children of their own would always give the traditional answer. “All the children are well.” Meaning, of course, that peace and safety prevail, that the priorities of protecting the young, the powerless are in place, that Masai society has not forgotten its reason for being, its proper functions and responsibilities. “All the children are well,” means that life is good. It means that the daily struggles of existence even among a poor people, do not preclude proper caring for its young. I wonder how it might affect our consciousness

Degruy, Joy . Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing (p. 14). Kindle Edition. 

This month my nonfiction book discussion group has been reading Poverty, By America by Matthew Desmond. It is an excellent book and has taken me back to my roots in Social Work when I and others cared about poverty and its devastating effects on human development and well being.

Desmond is a Sociologist and focuses on the structural aspects of poverty and the function it serves in a capitalistic and semi-democratic society. This perspective has encouraged my thinking about mental health in America from a public health perspective and led to my re-appreciation of the fact that mental health is not simply a clinical problem to be managed at the micro level.

I picked up Dr. Joy DeGruy's book Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome  in a used book shop which has added more fuel to the fire burning in my mind and heart about what my life's work has been about for the last 55 years. So please join me as I explore mental health from a sociological and public health perspective on my substack at davidgmarkham.substack.com. You will find a series of articles on the topic of mental health from a public health and sociological as well as clinical perspective.

Social Workers are trained in systems theory and to view human problems at a micro, mezzo, and macro level. The idea is that we do a disservice when we focus on the problem at only one level without including the others.

The Masai greeting is one that perhaps we should practice in the U.S.

So I greet you, "How are the children?"

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Poverty exists because exploitation of others has benefits for the dominant.

30 July 2023 at 09:39

This makes the country’s stalled progress on poverty even more baffling. Decade after decade, the poverty rate has remained flat even as federal relief has surged. How could this be? Part of the answer, I learned, lies in the fact that a fair amount of government aid earmarked for the poor never reaches them. To understand why, consider welfare. When welfare was administered through the Aid to Families with Dependent Children program, almost all of its funds were used to provide single-parent families with cash assistance.[12] But when President Bill Clinton reformed welfare in 1996, replacing the old model with Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), he transformed the program into a block grant that gives states considerable leeway in deciding how to distribute the money. As a result, states have come up with rather creative ways to spend TANF dollars. Nationwide, for every dollar budgeted for TANF in 2020, poor families directly received just 22 cents.

Desmond, Matthew. Poverty, by America (p. 28). Crown. Kindle Edition. 

One of the big reasons that poverty continues to exist at the scale it does in the US is corruption. Most of the money intended to help poor families gets siphoned off by state legislators and executives for things like Brett Farve’s volleyball stadium at his daughter’s college in Mississippi, the state with the highest rate of child poverty.

What kind of a thought system contributes to this kind of mismanagement and immorality? What kind of thinking leads to human suffering and harm even when resources are available to ameliorate the situation?

The thinking that leads to this kind of dysfunction is based at the egocentric/exploitive stage in the Spiral Dynamics model which is about dominance of the strongest for the benefit of self and one’s immediate group. This way of thinking is considered normal around ages 3 - 7 when adults attempt to teach egocentric children the skills of cooperation and sharing for mutual benefit and facilitate their development to the next stage which is ethnocentric thinking which champions the welfare of the group with which one  identifies and belongs. 

Poverty exists in the United States because the developmental level of the majority of the population has been arrested at this egocentric stage. The thinking and behavior is about “me and mine” rather than “us and ours.”

The egocentric thought system can be thought of as narcissistic and in the US is admired and supported by the majority of the population who elected in 2016 a sociopathic narcissist to be their president. He immediately gave tax cuts to the richest 10% of the population and denigrated poor people as rapists, drug dealers, and people who came here from “shit hole” countries. It is this kind of thinking which leads to the poverty in the United States which is concentrated in the southern states where human enslavement has been the basis for their economic development from the founding of their state and continues today.

The likelihood of poverty rates changing in these states is low as long as the thought system of the people who elect their governmental leaders does not mature to higher levels. The esteem for the rich and disdain for the poor must change if the belief system and consequent behavior is to change. 

As we have learned from the civil rights era, the best way to bring about social change is not in changing beliefs but in changing behavior. Behavior is changed when the consequences for behavior changes with new sets of rewards and punishments. Behavior often has to change before beliefs change because new behavior facilitates the development of new thinking. 

Corruption often is rewarding and therefore there is an incentive to engage in it. Martin Luther King, Jr. said he realized that he could not change the attitude of racists. What he was attempting to do was make discrimination illegal. Social change occurs when the incentives for behavior changes. Poverty exists because those in power make money exploiting human resources. This exploitation takes many forms but the dynamic is the same based on a thought system which thinks that dominating others for one’s own benefit is desirable.

Editor’s note: This is one of several articles on poverty and the social welfare system in the United States.

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Spiral dynamics will help restore your sanity.

30 July 2023 at 08:01

Today's headlines are just revealing the symptoms – not the cause. 

We each have many ways of seeing things – lenses that color our perception of the world. We don't all think alike. We don't all have the same values. We don't all see the world through the same lens. That is what makes the twenty-first century so complex and dangerous. 

We now have more than six billion humans with different world views connected by migration, air travel and the internet into one intermingled whole. Most of us are convinced that our view is right, our values are right. We are pushing and shoving and growling and threatening and carrying banners that say, “My way or no way.” Some of us are even killing each other.

Beck, Don Edward; Hebo Larsen, Teddy; Solonin, Sergey; Viljoen, Rica; Johns, Thomas Q.. Spiral Dynamics in Action: Humanity's Master Code (p. xvii). Wiley. Kindle Edition. 

I struggle to make sense out of all the bullshit. The bullshit is constant in our post truth world where we all deal in "alternative facts" as Kellyanne Conway, Trump's spokesperson told the media, meaning that there is no truth. She was asked by a reporter if "alternative facts" are lies and she bullshat her way out of that saying that "alternative facts" is just a difference in perspective. She might have said that there is no truth, no accuracy, no validity, no reliability, any line of bullshit is okay because as the ex President said about the White Supremacist rally at Charlottesville, "There are good people on both sides."

Harry Frankfurt the philosophy professor who wrote the now classic book "On Bullshit" back in 2005 defined bullshit as different from lying because liars care about what the truth is while bullshitters have no regard for any truth at all.

So now that we are living in the age of bullshit with no moral compass, no "guard rails" as the pundits like to call them, how is one to orient themselves in the sea of narcissistic nihilism? Spiral Dynamics provides us with a map to guide us through this treacherous terrain of incoherence.

I encourage my readers to get a copy of the book Spiral Dynamics In Action: Humanity's Master Code by Don Beck and others and study this model with me. It will restore you to sanity.

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Book notes - Florida by Lauren Groff

29 July 2023 at 17:22

Northern Florida is cold in January and I walk fast for warmth but also because, though the neighborhood is antique—huge Victorian houses radiating outward into 1920s bungalows, then mid-century modern ranches at the edges—it’s imperfectly safe. There was a rape a month ago, a jogger in her fifties pulled into the azaleas; and, a week ago, a pack of loose pit bulls ran down a mother with a baby in her stroller and mauled both, though not to death. 

It’s not the dogs’ fault, it’s the owners’ fault! dog lovers shouted on the neighborhood email list, but those dogs were sociopaths.

When the suburbs were built, in the seventies, the historic houses in the center of town were abandoned to graduate students who heated beans over Bunsen burners on the heart-pine floors and sliced apartments out of ballrooms. When neglect and humidity caused the houses to rot and droop and develop rusty scales, there was a second abandonment, to poor people, squatters.

Groff, Lauren. Florida (p. 2). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

The last paragraph describes what happened to Brockport, NY, but it was in the 60s. The slumlords bought up these old beautiful Victorian houses, cut them up into apartments, filled them with college tenants on semester long leases, and let them disintegrate. Destroyed the charming, family friendly village I grew up in.

Life goes on and just leaves us grieving for the beauty and goodness that existed before profit making came to town and exploited it,

I wrote a little book about it way back in 2014.

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Book note - Sheepish: Two Women, Fifty Sheep & Enough Wool To Save The Planet by Catherine Friend

28 July 2023 at 09:52

Sheepish is about a married lesbian couple who start and maintain a sheep farm in Minnesota. The book describes mostly raising sheep and what is done with the wool produced. It also describes the author's ambivalence about farming, her marriage, and her purpose in life. The book describes the struggles and joys of working a small family farm that brings one back to nature. The chapters are short, informative, descriptive, and witty.

I learned alot about sheep and wool. I also learned about how to tolerate and manage ambivalence in one’s life. The story also describes a connection with nature and a back-to-the-earth  way of life.

I recommend this book to people who are stuck in a mid-life crisis or looking for purpose and meaning in life. The book earns a 9 on a 10 point scale.

Thanks for reading David G. Markham! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Waking up and living in two worlds.

28 July 2023 at 09:42

To remember is merely to restore to your mind what is already there. You do not make what you remember; you merely accept again what is already there, but was rejected. The ability to accept truth in this world is the perceptual counterpart of creating in the Kingdom. God will do His part if you will do yours, and His return in exchange for yours is the exchange of knowledge for perception. Nothing is beyond His Will for you. But signify your will to remember Him, and behold! He will give you everything but for the asking. T-10.II.3:1-7

Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (p. 340). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

When we are incarnated into our physical body at birth we forget from whence we came and are socialized into the world of the ego. This socialization is based on a conditioned faculty of perceiving. This perception seems true enough to us that we forget about our ultimate reality which is our non dual Oneness with God. 

The experience of Transcendent Oneness is the eleventh skill out of twenty-one in Cindy Wigglesworth’s model of Spiritual Intelligence. To what extent have you experienced cosmic consciousness, a oneness with the Universe: never, once, a few times, many times, whenever I focus on it? This ability to become aware of our cosmic Oneness is that spiritual traditions call “awakening,” and “enlightenment.” We can wake up when we become aware that our ego perceptions are illusions and are not real in the realm of cosmic consciousness. Jesus said that we should give to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and to God the things that our God. So while we are here in our bodies, we live in two worlds. We are living in parallel worlds. Which one do you prefer?

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Should boxing be made illegal?

16 July 2023 at 09:25

Boxer Deontay Wilder Says 40-lb Costume Led to Loss to Tyson Fury

In the July, 2023 issue of Psychology Today magazine there is an article entitled “Pulling No Punches” by Tyler Woods which is an interview he does with Deontary Wilder who held the heavyweight boxing title from 2015 - 2020.

Here are some disturbing quotes from the article:

It’s rare to see a boxer cry out of compassion after a match. What were you feeling after the Helenius fight? 

Being a fighter, you go in there and put your life on the line for others’ entertainment. I was speaking also of another fighter, Prichard Colon. [Colon is currently in a vegetative state after an injury suffered in the ring.] Prichard was the breadwinner of his family. Now, he can’t feed himself. To see this young man, his life all of a sudden changed, seemingly in the snap of a finger, that saddened me. Doctors always tell me, “The head is not meant to be hit.” This is a cold business.

Editor’s note - It is more than just a “cold business.” It is immoral. In this sport one person is deliberately trying to injure their opponent by concussing them. If this happened anywhere outside of the sport it would be considered criminal.

You’ve said that the mental health of boxers is visible only behind the scenes. What should people know that they don’t know?

A lot of fighters don’t want to reveal what’s going on with them. They try to be tough, to keep that persona up. But PTSD is very common among fighters. Mental illness is a big thing in boxing. I think a lot of fighters should get checked out.

Editor’s note - To engage in a sport where the object is to concuss an opponent is immoral, and requires an immature thought system which valorizes this kind of egocentric behavior which some might say is psychopathic.

In a mature society that has achieved a higher level of spiritual intelligence, gladiatorial combat would no longer be acceptable for any reason let alone entertainment. As Wilder says “you go in there and you put your life on the line for other’s entertainment.” Who are those “others” who pay for such a spectacle? Is this enjoyment a form of sadistic schadenfreude? Should such entertainment be made illegal?

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The electronic leash

15 July 2023 at 16:12
THE ELECTRONIC LEASH - potente

More and more the issue of phone tracking has come up in therapy. Parents are tracking their kids and romantic partners are tracking each other and employers are tracking their employees and marketers are tracking customers.

It is easy to download tracking apps for phones and other electronic devices and simply to monitor a phone's location when the app is turned on which many websites request and sometimes every require.

Placing people under surveillance and stalking raises questions such as: Are people with certain types of personalities more likely to surveil and stalk than others? When is surveilling and stalking another appropriate? To what extent is stalking an indicator of the qualities of trust and security in a relationship?

Surveilling and stalking others electronically is a generational thing. It was not unheard of but very difficult before the advent of cell phone technology. Now the practice is ubiquitous. Some have called it putting others on an electronic leash.

Coupled with the ability to tract is the ability to text which many insist calls for an immediate response. A person who resists this is considered rude, guilty, uncaring and contributes to conflict.

People who are insecure and rejection sensitive suffer the most from the availability of this technology. The desire for reassurance and contact is often insatiable unless there are clear, consistent limits placed on the need to surveil, stalk and obtain immediate connection.

In general the use of this technology to surveil, stalk, locate, and contact others may have more disadvantages than advantages and should be used only with clear understanding of the purpose and consent of the parties involved.

In most cases, especially in romantic relationships the use of surveillance technology is a bad idea because it erodes the trust and peace of the parties involved.

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Newspeak in Georgia

15 July 2023 at 15:44
20 UU Seven Principles ideas | unitarian, unitarian universalist, principles

George Orwell warned us of this kind of silencing by the government in his novel,  1984, where the government of Oceania tried to control people's thoughts by censoring their use of language. The allowed language was called "Newspeak".

The actions by the Georgia State Education commission to forbid the use of words like “equity” and “inclusion” in public school teachers lesson plans are a further symptom of totalitarianism which is infecting the people of the United States.

The infection of totalitarian thinking is much more pervasive in some states than in others. The fact that Newspeak has infected the Georgia State Education Commission is noteworthy because of their power to infect all the public school teachers in the State of Georgia who can then pass the infection on to their students and students' families.

As this infection of Newspeak spreads throughout the South, how will the citizens of those states be able to collaborate and cooperate with others in the current world where equity and inclusiveness are ever important principles in creating our mutual life together on this planet?  

Unitarian Universalists have seven principles which they covenant together to affirm and promote. The second principle is equity, justice, and compassion in human relations. You can read more about this here.

The Georgia State Education Commission’s policy is not only in violation of the Unitarian Universalist second principle, it diminishes the development and strengthening of several of the skills of spiritual intelligence such as “awareness of worldview of others,” “awareness of the interconnectedness of life,” “awareness of the limitations of human perception,” awareness of spiritual laws regarding love of one’s fellow humans”, etc.

This policy of the Georgia State Education commission is indicative of the low level of spiritual intelligence of the people in  leadership in the Georgia State government. In the future the level of spiritual intelligence of the candidates for political office should be taken into consideration for whom to cast one’s vote.

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Spiritual intelligence - What makes you tick?

14 July 2023 at 14:03

This is the first of many, many planned posts on spiritual intelligence. Please join us in our spiritual intelligence discussion group. You can sign up here. https://groups.io/g/SpiritualIntelligence

Socrates said that an unexamined life is not worth living. How many people do you know that live examined lives? Are you one of them?

What makes you tick? Do you understand why you think what you think, why you feel what you feel, why you do what you do, why you want what you want?

To what extent do you think you can influence the creation of your life or are victimized by it?

The first skill in spiritual intelligence is thinking about what you think. In spiritual practice this is called “contemplation.” Contemplation is thinking about what you think and understanding what you think about what you think. This skill of contemplation is also sometimes called “meta-cognition”. Another term is “mindfulness”. 

On a scale of Low, Medium, High how would you rate your level of self understanding? 

To what extent do you understand what makes you tick?

To what extent can you explain the factors that make you tick to a nonjudgmental person?

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Join the Spiritual Intelligence discussion group

14 July 2023 at 08:42

Please join me in discussing spiritual intelligence on the Spiritual Intelligence discussion listserv.

We will be discussing what spiritual intelligence is and how to nurture it.

If you subscribe, your first two messages to the group will be moderated to ensure that the messages are coming from a human and not a robot. After the first two messages to the list are determined to be of human origin your posts will not be moderated.

You can subscribe here: spiritualintelligence+subscribe@groups.io

Thank you for your consideration, and possible joining us,

David Markham

Moderator

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Discontinuation of ACIM and UU posts.

23 June 2023 at 08:42

Today our daily postings of the A Course In Miracles and Unitarian Universalism is being discontinued.

The postings henceforth will be periodic and depend on reader request.

If you have questions, concerns, comments, forward them to davidgmarkham@gmail.com.

If you have been following this thread, thank you for reading it.

The eternal now.

22 June 2023 at 12:17

Eternity is one time, its only dimension being “always.” This cannot mean anything to you until you remember God’s open Arms, and finally know His open Mind. Like Him, you are “always"; in His Mind and with a mind like His. In your open mind are your creations, in perfect communication born of perfect understanding. Could you but accept one of them you would not want anything the world has to offer. Everything else would be totally meaningless. God’s meaning is incomplete without you, and you are incomplete without your creations. Accept your brother in this world and accept nothing else, for in him you will find your creations because he created them with you. You will never know that you are co-creator with God until you learn that your brother is co-creator with you. T-9.VI.7: 1-9

A Course in Miracles (pp. 329-330). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

One for all and all for one forever is one way of summarizing the above passage.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the love for the interdependent web of existence of which we all are a part.

Today it is suggested that we consider that the world is bigger than any one of us and can be described as the “eternal now.”

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Stop what we are doing, take a deep breath, and momentarily become one with everything.

21 June 2023 at 09:38
Jaggi Vasudev quote: Spirituality is not about becoming special. It is  about becoming...

Miracles have no place in eternity, because they are reparative. Yet while you still need healing, your miracles are the only witnesses to your reality that you can recognize. You cannot perform a miracle for yourself, because miracles are a way of giving acceptance and receiving it. In time the giving comes first, though they are simultaneous in eternity, where they cannot be separated. When you have learned they are the same, the need for time is over. T-9.VI.6: 1-5

A Course in Miracles (p. 329). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

The miracle, according to A Course In Miracles, is when the shift in perception from the world of the ego to the nondual Oneness occurs. When we experience a miracle, time stands still. We experience what the Course calls a “holy instant.”

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. The only true thing is the miracle state. The miracle is not magic and an alteration of natural events, it is an experience of cosmic consciousness.

Today it is suggested that  we stop what we are doing, take a deep breath, and momentarily become one with everything.

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The Kingdom Of God is within you (plural).

20 June 2023 at 10:40
Joined people of earth. Joined people standing around earth on the white  background. | CanStock

You are not yet awake, but you can learn how to awaken. Very simply, the Holy Spirit teaches you to awaken others. As you see them waken you will learn what waking means, and because you have chosen to wake them, their gratitude and their appreciation of what you have given them will teach you its value. They will become the witnesses to your reality, as you were created witness to God’s. Yet when the Sonship comes together and accepts its Oneness it will be known by its creations, who witness to its reality as the Son does to the Father. T-9.VI.5: 1-5

A Course in Miracles (p. 329). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

To awaken simply means that one overcomes their social conditioning and becomes aware of their essential self. Sometimes it is easier to see past other’s ego conditioning to their Divine Spark within than it is our own. When we see the Divine Spark in another person we remember who we, essentially, are.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity in every person. When we perceive the inherent worth and dignity of each person we encounter, we become more aware of our own inherent worth and dignity.

Today it is suggested that we look for the Divine Spark in each person and connect with it and experience it within ourselves (plural.) Jesus said that the Kingdom of God is within us beneath our social conditioning.

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Meditate and let go of all ego thoughts and become one with everything.

19 June 2023 at 08:20
The Death of The Ego: Meditation's Powerful Influence - DoYou

God is more than you only because He created you, but not even this would He keep from you. Therefore you can create as He did, and your dissociation will not alter this. Neither God’s light nor yours is dimmed because you do not see. Because the Sonship must create as one, you remember creation whenever you recognize part of creation. Each part you remember adds to your wholeness because each part is whole. Wholeness is indivisible, but you cannot learn of your wholeness until you see it everywhere. You can know yourself only as God knows His Son, for knowledge is shared with God. When you awake in Him you will know your magnitude by accepting His limitlessness as yours. But meanwhile you will judge it as you judge your brother’s, and will accept it as you accept his. T-9.VI.4:1-9

A Course in Miracles (pp. 328-329). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

The Buddhist monk said to the hot dog vendor “Make me one with everything.” and we laugh, but supposing this scene and request is not seen as a joke, but a serious request? Could the hot dog vendor actually help the monk to become one with everything? The answer to this question in today’s passage is “Yes!” The hot dog vendor and the monk are already one with everything, they just don’t realize it. And this Oneness is what we are.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person and this inherent worth and dignity comes from our Oneness with each other and with God.

Today it is suggested that we meditate, let go of all our ego thoughts, and become one with everything.

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We should become aware of who we are leaving out and choose to include them.

18 June 2023 at 13:02
Inclusive Culture: 5 Ways To Foster Inclusivity at Work | Indeed.com

If your brothers are part of you, will you accept them? Only they can teach you what you are, for your learning is the result of what you taught them. What you call upon in them you call upon in yourself. And as you call upon it in them it becomes real to you. God has but one Son, knowing them all as One. Only God Himself is more than they but they are not less than He is. Would you know what this means? If what you do to my brother you do to me, and if you do everything for yourself because we are part of you, everything we do belongs to you as well. Everyone God created is part of you and shares His glory with you. His glory belongs to Him, but it is equally yours. You cannot, then, be less glorious than He is. T-9.VI.3:1-11

A Course in Miracles (p. 328). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

The saying is “All for one and one for all.” Another saying is “United we stand and divided we fall.” Jesus said that the Kingdom of God is within you (plural.)

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth. Unitarian Universalism is a religion of inclusivity not exclusivity. God loves all of God’s creations unconditionally. Any other belief is of the ego.

Today it is suggested that when we say we love certain people we should become aware of who we are leaving out and choose to include them.

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Reflect on what we want to receive and if it is loving, give it.

17 June 2023 at 12:27
Lessons Learned In Life - Be a reflection of what you'd like to receive. If  you want love, give love. If you want truth, be truthful. If you want  respect, give respect.

It seems to you that the Holy Spirit does not produce joy consistently in you only because you do not consistently arouse joy in others. Their reactions to you are your evaluations of His consistency. When you are inconsistent you will not always give rise to joy, and so you will not always recognize His consistency. What you offer to your brother you offer to Him, because He cannot go beyond your offering in His giving. This is not because He limits His giving, but simply because you have limited your receiving. The decision to receive is the decision to accept.T-9.VI.2:1-6

A Course in Miracles (p. 328). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

One of the paradoxical principles taught by A Course In Miracles is that you learn what you teach. A corollary principle is that you receive what you give. If you would have joy, give joy for it is in the giving that joy is generated. These principles are not the way of the world of the ego but the say of the Spirit.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and the encouragement to spiritual growth. It is in this acceptance and encouragement that joy is manifested.

Today it is suggested that we reflect on what we want to receive and if it is loving, give it.

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Watch for the impact that the Holy Spirit has on those we interact with

16 June 2023 at 09:13
If You Notice These Things Happening Then The Holy Spirit Is Within You! -  YouTube

How can you become increasingly aware of the Holy Spirit in you except by His effects? You cannot see Him with your eyes nor hear Him with your ears. How, then, can you perceive Him at all? If you inspire joy and others react to you with joy, even though you are not experiencing joy yourself there must be something in you that is capable of producing it. If it is in you and can produce joy, and if you see that it does produce joy in others, you must be dissociating it in yourself. T-9.VI.1:1-5

A Course in Miracles (p. 327). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

People who are aware of the Holy Spirit working through them often report that the experience is mysterious to them and they have no idea where the inspiration comes from, how it is manifested, or how the influence it has is produced.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth. How this works seems ephemeral at best and yet we understand what Jesus meant when he said, “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be.”

Today it is suggested that we watch for the impact that the Holy Spirit has on those we interact with and then consider how this was manifested through us and thus become more aware of God’s unconditional love within ourselves.

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There are different paths to the same destination.

15 June 2023 at 11:11
Many Paths to the Same Summit - Hinduism

This course offers a very direct and a very simple learning situation, and provides the Guide Who tells you what to do. If you do it, you will see that it works. Its results are more convincing than its words. They will convince you that the words are true. By following the right Guide, you will learn the simplest of all lessons: By their fruits ye shall know them, and they shall know themselves. T-9.V.9:1-6

A Course in Miracles (p. 327). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

There are many roads to Rome and many ways to skin the cat. We can ascend the mountain on multiple sides and still attain the same peak. A Course In Miracles is only one spiritual path. It assures us that it works, and the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. The search takes many of us in different directions but the destination is the same: the non dual Oneness.

Today it is suggested that we review the many different paths we have taken which have led us to the one we are on now and how our journey at present is going. Then tell someone.

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How do we know if what we believe and say is helpful or not?

14 June 2023 at 08:37

Being Of Service - Helping Others Helps Us All - Transcend Texas

Remember that you choose the guide for helping, and the wrong choice will not help. But remember also that the right one will. Trust Him, for help is His function, and He is of God. As you awaken other minds to the Holy Spirit through Him, and not yourself, you will understand that you are not obeying the laws of this world. But the laws you are obeying work. “The good is what works” is a sound though insufficient statement. Only the good can work. Nothing else works at all. T-9.V.8: 9-16

A Course in Miracles (p. 327). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

How do we know if what we believe and say is helpful or not? Is it from the Holy Spirit or from the ego? If our beliefs and speech is from the ego, it will not help. But if our beliefs and speech is from the Holy Spirit it will. How to tell the difference? If it is from a place of conditional love, it is from the ego. If it is from the place of unconditional love, it is from the Holy Spirit.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. Does this search take us to the realm of the ego or to the realm of the Holy Spirit?

Today it is suggested that we be mindful of the place in which we place our faith: the world of the ego or the world of the Holy Spirit.

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Recognize, acknowledge, and accept God’s unconditional love for us and pay it forward.

13 June 2023 at 10:13
Receiving God's Unconditional Love - JASMINE RUTLEDGE

A therapist does not heal; he lets healing be. He can point to darkness but he cannot bring light of himself, for light is not of him. Yet, being for him, it must also be for his patient. The Holy Spirit is the only Therapist. He makes healing clear in any situation in which He is the Guide. You can only let Him fulfill His function. He needs no help for this. He will tell you exactly what to do to help anyone He sends to you for help, and will speak to him through you if you do not interfere. T-9.V.8:1-8

A Course in Miracles (pp. 326-327). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

As teachers of God we are conduits and extenders. God’s unconditional love passes through us to others. In order for this to occur we must be aware of it ourselves. We can’t share what we are not aware that we already have.

In Unitarian Universalism some of us join together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person which arises from the unconditional love of their Transcendent Source.

Today it is suggested that we recognize, acknowledge, and accept God’s unconditional love for us and pay it forward.

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Apply for ministry training

26 July 2023 at 05:51

Ministers are spiritual leaders, who provide care, guidance and inspiration to our communities – and to the world. We believe in the importance of visionary leadership for our communities and offer training for ministers at Unitarian College and Harris Manchester College, Oxford

Applications for ministry training beginning in 2024 are now open. Apply online here. Click here to download the application guidance and declaration.

To find out more contact Simon Bland, our Ministry & Congregational Support Officer.

Deadline for applications: 12 September 2023

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LGBT+ Exhibition brings community together in Ipswich

21 July 2023 at 05:42

Friday 14th July saw the launch of the LGBT+ Unitarian Voices exhibition at the stunning and recently renovated Ipswich Unitarian Meeting House in Suffolk. The event included chalice lighting and a reflective introduction from Dr Lizzie Kingston Harrison, on of the exhibition’s creators, on the importance of lifting up the voices of marginalised groups within our movement, the moving ways in which storytelling can help us understand others and find acceptance ourselves, and an overview of the actions that prominent Unitarians have taken to change the cultural story around LGBT+ inclusion.

With plenty of time to explore the in-person and online elements of the exhibition and plenty lots of drinks and nibbles, the evening was a positive and exciting way to launch the touring exhibition banners and encourage people to share their own LGBT+ Unitarian stories.

The Mayor of Ipswich and local councillors were in attendance and left with a deeper understanding of our inclusive movement and the positive influence that Unitarians have had, especially during the campaign for same-sex marriage. 

Rev. Cliff Reed followed up the launch of the LGBT+ Voices exhibition with a Pride service the following Sunday. Ipswich Unitarians have a long history of standing up for LGBT+ rights, have attended local pride events for many years and are delighted to be licensed to carry out same-sex weddings.

View our online LGBT+ Unitarian Voices exhibition here.

Interested in hosting the LGBT+ Unitarian Voices pop-up exhibition in your venue, church or community space? Get in touch.

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Shabaka Hutchings warms up for Glastonbury… at Shrewsbury Unitarian Church!

28 June 2023 at 09:05

On Wednesday 21 June, Shrewsbury Unitarian Church hosted a sell out performance by Shabaka Hutchings – his pre-Glastonbury warm up!  Shabaka is a MOBO award winning  jazz musician, composer and bandleader. He leads the band Sons of Kemet. He played to a rapt audience and left to a standing ovation!

Unitarian churches, chapels and meeting houses right around the UK host a wide range of spiritual, cultural and community events. Find congregations and spaces near you here.

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Executive Committee seeks new members

28 June 2023 at 07:39

We are looking for three new people to join our Executive Committee. Could this be you – or someone in your congregation?

The Executive Committee of the General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches is seeking applications for three members to be co-opted to fill vacant positions arising following the recent election process. The co-opted members will serve from July 2023 until the end of the Annual Meetings in April 2025.

The role of the Executive Committee is to work with the Chief Officer and staff team to lead and serve the Unitarian and Free Christian movement.

As Liz Slade, Chief Officer, wrote in a recent issue of the Inquirer“This is an exciting time to be part of this leadership group, because of the nature of the challenges we are facing. Covid brought closer to home the fragility of many of our congregations, but also displayed the creativity and care they hold. We know that ‘more of the same’ could lead to chapels closing in the not-too-distant future, and we know in a movement like ours, the path to the future must be found locally, not imposed from the top down. So the work of leadership from Essex Hall is akin to that of gardeners – tending the soil, nurturing the seedlings, supporting the mighty oaks, taking care of the compost, having an eye on the weather, and the keeping the whole ecosystem in view.”

Executive Committee members represent the movement and are democratically elected by members across the country. They bring experience from within our movement and from their professional and voluntary work elsewhere. This may be in management, finance, communications, change management, charity governance, or some other experience that you would like to use in service of our denomination.

They meet around six times a year, usually in person in London, with dinner together the evening before a 9am to 5pm meeting. They also try to get together for a longer two-day meeting, and at times will have video conferences or make decisions over email.  

Who can stand for election?
Candidates should have been part of the Unitarian community for at least three years and have experience as a member of either their congregation’s governing body or similar committee, or have been a trustee of another charity. They will also need to fulfil the Charity Commission’s legal requirements for trustees.

How do I apply?
Applications need to be received by 13 July 2023. By following these links you can find further information, the application form, and declaration.

Questions
If you would like to know more about the work of the Executive Committee, or whether you should consider putting yourself forward, please do get in touch with either Liz Slade (Chief Officer) or Rev. Jo James (Convenor).

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Human Library visits Shrewsbury Unitarians

14 June 2023 at 09:05

Shrewsbury Unitarians have hosted a ‘Human Library‘ – a collection of individual human beings, drawn from different minority or marginalised groups in the community, that have somehow been exposed to stigma, misunderstanding or discrimination.

Each Human Library event is designed to facilitate interactions that challenge stereotypes and prejudice through conversation. During each 30 minute conversation, members of the public as ‘readers’ can access, encounter and engage with the life stories of each human ‘book’, by asking questions and by listening to the answers.

Attendees very much enjoyed the experience saying they appreciated: 

  • “The invitation & permission from both books to take elements of what they shared and apply it to my own life and situation”
  • “The openness. Moving the stories of people who have made a choice in their life much challenged ‘norms’ and expectations”
  • “Loads of insights to process!”
  • “Warmth/personality of book!”
  • “That we all share the same basic experience of grief”

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Dover Unitarian Church becomes first in town to offer same-sex marriage

30 May 2023 at 05:33

Dover Unitarian Church in Kent has become the first in Dover to offer same-sex marriage ceremonies, joining three other Unitarian places of worship in Kent, and over a hundred in the UK.

Rev. Daniel Costley, minister of Dover Unitarians, spoke to BBC Radio Kent, about this great news on Sunday. You can listen to the programme here (from 2:11, for around 10 minutes). Rev. Daniel says: “I am delighted the congregation has endorsed this move so willingly. The authorisation by the General Register Office enables us to provide a religious wedding to all couples that truly love each other, to provide a spiritual and religious beginning to this step in a couple’s life together for those that wish it.”

Find out more about same-sex marriage ceremonies in Unitarian churches here.

Find Unitarian churches offering same-sex marriage ceremonies near you here.

Unitarians have long supported lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights, and we are proud to provide marriage ceremonies for all couples. In fact, we were one of the the first churches to offer same-sex marriages. Find out more about Unitarian LGBT+ history here.

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Gellionnen Chapel makes the headlines for LGBTQ inclusion

24 May 2023 at 05:14

Gellionnen Unitarian Chapel has made the headlines in the Welsh media this month for its LGBTQ inclusion, with the congregation featuring on ITV Wales’ 6 o’clock news, Wales Online, and the South Wales Evening Post.

Gellionnen Chapel, near Pontardawe in the Swansea Valley, is the only place of worship registered for same-sex marriage in Neath Port Talbot, and one of only a small number across Wales, many of which are Unitarian. The chapel is proudly LGBTQ inclusive – taking part in Pride marches, organising a monthly LGBT+ multi-faith gathering, and welcoming LGBTQ people into its congregation.

The chapel’s minister, Rev. Rory Castle Jones, who himself married his husband at the chapel, told ITV Wales: “I grew up attending various churches of different denominations. As a teenager, like many LGBTQ teens, I didn’t feel welcome in those places. It was only a few years ago when I came to Gellionnen that I found an inclusive church. I had given up to be honest, and I think that’s true for many LGBTQ+ people. It’s important to me to say that there are places where you can be welcome as an LGBT person in a church or a chapel.”

Sean Walker, a regular attendee said: “When you come to this church, you see a pride flag as you walk in, we do pride special services. In the past I’ve been to a church that did try to change me and didn’t accept who I was. After that I wanted to walk away from religion. When I found this place it restored my faith.”

Sandra Beynon, Gellionnen’s Authorised Person for weddings, said: “It’s a very modern chapel and welcomes everybody. Love thy neighbour is our motto.”

Find out more about same-sex marriage in Unitarian churches here.

Find out more about the Unitarians’ LGBT+ history here.

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How "Meet the Minister" videos support membership development

3 May 2023 at 17:17

Learn how "meet the minister" videos on congregational websites support the visitor research process and membership development.

Have you ever heard someone say they chose to visit the congregation after meeting the minister somewhere? This happens all the time. After getting to know the minister at a wedding, funeral, protest, or elsewhere in the community people feel comfortable visiting.

Today, we can help people get to know the minister on-demand when they land on your website, through social media, and if you choose, advertising. It is part of building a digital path into the life and heart of your congregation.

This session introduces strategies from my Video Message Academy for Congregations program. 



Stop insuring new fossil fuels, faith leaders urge Lloyd’s

2 May 2023 at 07:34

The Unitarians have joined others from across the faith and belief spectrum in urging Lloyds of London to do more to tackle climate change.

Writing in the Times on 24 April, 23 faith leaders called on the world’s largest insurance market to “show leadership” by ending insurance for all new fossil fuel projects.

“Those who back new fossil fuel projects have a moral responsibility to change course,” they wrote.

Signatories including Nicola Brady, general secretary of Churches Together in England and Ireland, and Kamran Shezad, director of the Islamic Foundation for Ecology and Environmental Sciences, urged Lloyd’s to commit to not providing (re)insurance for the East African Crude Oil Pipeline.

They should also phase out existing fossil fuel insurance, signatories including the Bishops of Reading and Selby, Hindu Climate Action, Eco Judaism and Quakers in Britain said.

Lloyd’s members, who insure around 40 per cent of the global energy market, have a decisive role to play in preventing climate damage but lag behind other insurance companies.

Since March last year, Swiss Re, Munich Re and Allianz have all announced new policies moving away from oil and gas. The signatories urged Lloyd’s to follow their example at its impending AGM.

The ten most expensive climate disasters in 2022 cost a combined $168 billion, mostly in insured losses, with the true cost being much higher.

And in the first few months of 2023 there has been flooding and landslides in Brazil, Mozambique and California, cyclones in Vanuatu and Madagascar, and an unprecedented winter heat wave in Europe.

The letter welcomed Lloyd’s introduction of phasing out insurance for coal and tar sands, but noted that these guidelines remain voluntary, and that the market has no policy on conventional oil and gas.

The full letter has been sent to Lloyd’s of London Chairman Bruce Carnegie-Brown and Chief Executive John Neal, asking for a meeting to discuss the issues raised.

This letter and list of signatories can be found here.

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Coronation Cuppa with Jewish friends at Hampstead Unitarians

26 April 2023 at 11:38

Rosslyn Hill Unitarian Chapel in Hampstead is holding a Coronation Coffee morning and food bank drive on 8 May, in partnership with Mitzvah Day, the UK’s largest faith-led day of social action, organised by the Jewish community. Rosslyn Hill’s minister, Rev. Kate Dean, writes in The Jewish Chronicle, that the event will be “a chance for everyone to learn about volunteering opportunities in the area and to make a pledge to give their time in the future”. Click here to find out more.

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Unitarians for Climate Justice join Extinction Rebellion’s ‘The Big One’

25 April 2023 at 09:59

On Saturday 22 April 2023, ‘Unitarians for Climate Justice’ took part in Extinction Rebellion’s ‘The Big One’ peaceful protests in central London.

‘Unitarians for Climate Justice’ is a newly formed group for Unitarians concerned about climate change. Around 25 of them travelled to London to take part in today’s protests alongside other faith groups, from Unitarian congregations across the UK including London, Brighton, Cardiff, Bristol, Hinckley, Horsham, Godalming & Framlingham.

The March included singing and chanting and culminated in a “Die In” outside the Houses of Parliament. You can view more photos on Facebook here.

To find out more about the group, please contact Lizzie Kingston-Harrison, our Congregational Connections Lead.

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Welcoming our new President

25 April 2023 at 09:43

At our Annual Meetings this month we were delighted to welcome Vince McCully as this year’s President of the General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches.

The Presidential team travel the length and breadth of the UK (in person and via Zoom!), connecting with our congregations and sharing their vision for the future. They also represents us at official events like Remembrance Sunday at the Cenotaph and on official bodies. The President and Vice President are elected annually, serving a 12 month term.

Vince has been a Unitarian since attending a service in 1996, at Rivington Chapel in Lancashire, and instantly finding a strong spiritual bond with the faith. Vince, brought up as Roman Catholic, spent six years as a seminarian, however, in search of answers he left there to study comparative religion and politics at Manchester University.

These days Vince divides his time between being the Lay Person in Charge at Rivington chapel, treasurer of the Manchester District Association, taking services around the north-west of England, being a parish councillor, and running an electronics company he formed in 1989.

There’s not much time for his hobbies, what with organizing the annual village festival and helping with the triennial Rivington Pilgrimage to Civil and Religious Liberties, but when he does it’s over to repairing tools and furniture.

Vince says: “I am deeply honoured by being appointed as GA President for 2023-2024 and hope to fulfil this role in a way that fully reflects the freedoms tolerance and inclusivity I find to be the back-bone of our faith. I earnestly want Unitarianism to be fully accessible to all on their faith journey. As it says on the President’s jewel: “Freedom, Tolerance, Reason”.

You can find out more about our Presidential Team, Executive Committee, Chief Officer and how we work as an organisation here.

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Spring funding boost for Westgate Unitarian Chapel, Wakefield

24 April 2023 at 09:43

A much-loved Yorkshire chapel is to share in a £351,500 heritage funding boost from the National Churches Trust. 

A £25,000 National Churches Trust Grant will help to pay for urgent repairs to the Grade II* Listed Wakefield Chapel, replacing failing mortar and  rebuilding a wall, ensuring the church building can thrive today and tomorrow. 

The church also receives a £10,000 Wolfson Fabric Repair Grant from the Wolfson Foundation on the recommendation of the National Churches Trust. 

Broadcaster and journalist Huw Edwards, Vice President of the National Churches Trust, said: “I’m delighted that Westgate Chapel is receiving funding for urgent repairs. This will safeguard the unique local heritage of this fascinating place of worship, and keep the building open and in use for the benefit of local people in Wakefield.” 

“Whether seeking quiet reflection, access to community services or as a place to worship, the National Churches Trust helps hundreds of churches each year and with the support of local people, keeps them thriving today, and tomorrow.” 

Paul Ramsbottom, Chief Executive of the Wolfson Foundation said: “As well as being places of worship and buildings of beauty, churches sit at the heart of the community. In many ways they stand between the past and present. We are thrilled to continue our partnership with the National Churches Trust to support the preservation of these significant, much-loved historic buildings across the UK.” 

Help for churches

Twenty-one churches across the UK will stay open and in good repair thanks to £351,500 of funding awarded and recommended  by the National Churches Trust in this latest round of grants.  In 2022, the National Churches Trust made over 255 grant awards to churches throughout the United Kingdom, with funding totalling more than £1.95m.

In 2023, grants continue to be available churches of any Christian denomination that are open for regular worship to fund urgent repairs, maintenance, installing loos or kitchens and feasibility studies to develop projects. Full details are available here.

The chapel

Westgate Chapel is a fine red brick Georgian building, Listed Grade II*. The architect is likely to be John Carr of Horbury and York. It is the oldest nonconformist chapel still used for worship in the local region. 

It possesses many fine features including its pulpit, first erected in an earlier chapel, an interesting Booths organ manufactured in 1847, and a bell tower with a bell is said to date from 1799. Under the chapel are the first set of catacombs for public burial in the north of England, completed before the chapel. Amongst those interred in its catacombs are industrialists, innovators, merchant princes, members of Parliament and political radicals.

Memorial windows by Heald & Co of Wakefield commemorate Mary Gaskell, wife of Daniel Gaskell MP; Mary Ann Milnes of Flockton who ran a colliery and iron works; Rawdon Briggs of Halifax, banker and merchant and James Milnes, MP for Bletchingley. A pre-Raphaelite window in the style of Morris & Co was erected in 1881 to the memory of Thomas Wood, a wealthy draper.

The project

The grant from the National Churches Trust will facilitate replacing failing mortar and rebuilding wall where it is destabilised.

Spokespeople for the Chapel said: “We, at The Board of Trustees at Westgate Unitarian Chapel are absolutely delighted about the success of the funding application to National Churches Trust.  This money will ensure that not only will the building be made good but that the different communities we serve, the historical and heritage stories we tell and the vibrant cultural offering we have, will continue to benefit everyone for years to come.

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Memorial unveiled to Sir John Brunner – Liverpool Unitarian industrialist and political reformer

24 April 2023 at 09:32

On 11 April 2023, Rev. Phil Waldron and the congregation at Ullet Road Unitarian Church, Liverpool, welcomed the family of Sir John Brunner (1842-1919) to unveil a memorial to the late Liverpudlian industrialist, political reformer and philanthropist. Sir John was a leading figure in his day, a lifelong Unitarian, and a liberal politician, in favour of trade-unions, welfare, and other reforms. Read the full story on Ullet Road Church’s website here.

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“Queer Love is magical”: a same-sex couple reflect on getting married in a Unitarian church

19 April 2023 at 10:18

Catrina Knox and Charlotte Harris tied the knot at New Unity Unitarian church in Newington Green, London, last year. In an interview with East London Lines, they reflect on their special day, same-sex marriage, and more:

“Queer Love is Magic”, reads the banner draped across Charlotte Harris and Catriona Knox’s living room in Stratford. This sums up how Harris and Knox feel about their own marriage. “It’s about radical love,” Harris says. “Even though great strides have been taken, marriage still feels like a radical thing to do. It is something that has been denied to us, we have to make it our own.” The couple felt the Unitarian church perfectly matched their vision for their wedding. Harris says, “I really like what New Unity stands for and its values. I think that queer marriage is political, so it felt important to be in a political space.”  Read the full piece here.

Find out more about getting married in a Unitarian church here.

Find out more about LGBT+ Unitarian history here.

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Unitarians oppose Illegal Migration Bill

18 April 2023 at 05:27

Unitarians have voted at their recent Annual Meetings to oppose the UK government’s Illegal Migration Bill and called on the government instead to establish safe and accessible routes for all those seeking asylum, urging Unitarian and Free Christian congregations across the country to write to their MPs before the third reading of the bill on 25 April 2023.

The emergency resolution passed by the Annual Meetings states that “the General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches is concerned that the provisions of the Illegal Immigration Bill will remove rights to protection in the UK for vulnerable adults and children seeking safe haven”. Our Chief Officer will join with other Church leaders in publicly opposing the Bill as it stands and our General Assembly “calls on Unitarian congregations and individuals to raise these concerns with their MPs before the 3rd Reading of the Bill on 25 April 2023”. The resolution also “calls on the British Government to establish safe and accessible routes for all those seeking asylum.”

Our Social Action Officer Ann Howell is coordinating our campaign. Please email her for more info.

Background information provided by the proposers of the emergency resolution can be found below:

On April 4th 2023, representatives from the United Reformed Church, Baptist Union and Methodist Church, as well as from Churches Together in Britain and Ireland and Churches Together in England handed in a joint signed statement to 10 Downing Street. Over 1,500 church leaders signed this statement calling on the government to withdraw the legislation, ‘appalled’ by the proposals of this Bill.

Revd David Hardman, Methodist Public Issues Team leader, said: “If ever there was a contemporary example of ignoring our neighbour and walking by on the other side, this is it. On a moral level, these proposals lack compassion and respect for people’s dignity. On a practical level, they fail to see that punishing people who cross the channel in small boats without offering alternative safe routes will only cause pain and increase the backlog of people who are stuck in unfit accommodation here in the UK.”

The United Nations Human Right Council has called this bill ‘an effective asylum ban’ in breach of the Refugee Convention. It breaches the European Convention on Human Rights.

On this the Holy Week for Christians, it feels like a betrayal of our British values that we as a country would allow a Bill that betrays our Christian Values of love and support of our neighbour. This bill proposes to detain and remove those who arrive in the UK in breach of immigration control (irregular routes) without consideration for human rights claims and wish for protection claims to mitigate their case. This Bill proposes to ‘forcibly’ remove children under the age of 18 years in detention with and without family members, and without recourse to protection of the law nor appeal, and return them to the country they are escaping.

The Bill fails to recognise the limited availability of legal routes open to those leaving their country seeking safe haven. Entitlement of protection under the law of those who have been victims of modern slavery or human trafficking would also be denied, possibly mitigating sections of the Human Rights Act 1998.  Those who make the dangerous journey to our shores have had a campaign of vilification against them, often lead by uncared words by our leaders. They are refugees, asylum seekers, migrants but most importantly, they are human beings.

Our Unitarians principles calls us to account and to act with responsibility in upholding our values and the inherent worth and dignity of all people. This motion recognises our stance of standing in solidarity with other faith traditions to call our government to account and require of them to act with responsibility and compassion to those in need of our care and consideration, especially when they have risk their lives escaping conflict, oppression, climate disaster, torture, poverty and exploitation.

This motion calls on our EC and Chief Officer to stand in solidarity with the other faith leaders and sign petitions against this Bill on the behalf of the General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches.

The motion calls on all Unitarian congregations, and congregants, to contact their representatives to put pressure on their MPs to call for this Bill to be withdrawn.

In addition, the motion adds to the voices of other faith leaders calling on the UK government to ‘establish safe and accessible routes’ for those seeking asylum, and for the UK to ‘honour our moral and international obligations… in welcoming people in need of safety.’

We also request that if this motion pass, that the Chief Officer writes to all congregations immediately with the details of the Resolution and Background Note, in order to ensure MPs can be contacted in a timely manner. 

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