I’ve been a UU for most of my adult life. I have a dear friend who will probably be entering hospice soon.

He is a late 60’s gay man who was never all the way “out”. Always cis appearance and demeanor (so celebrating being out and rainbow flags aren’t appropriate to who he is). He has had a partner for about 25 years but they tended to only tell very close friends. He let a lot of people believe he had a wife. His choice. We are in the South. His partner had been in denial and somewhat avoidant so it’s on me and I’m glad to hold his hand until the end.

He is not religious and will be cremated according to his wishes. He is also having a hard time with memory issues so it can’t be too intellectual, just comforting.

I’m interested in any passages that are comforting for hospice care. Passages to reflect on a life well-lived. Also readings that can ease transition without heaven/hell.

Thank you for any suggestions.

My baptism wasn't my idea it's unfair someone decided to splash me 27 years ago before I was talking and that made the Biblical God the owner of my soul who I don't want to worship. How do I get my soul back so I'm not going to hell?

I just feel like reaching out here. I find that secular humanism fits my values more than Christianity.

But I've found so much meaning in Christianity. With this said, I'm not at peace within myself.

I’m looking to expand my friendship connections and am trying to heal my mental health and become a better person. My values are aligned with what I’ve read about UU.

Is a church a good way to make friends and become a “better” person?

I recently moved to the Twin Cities and I'm in the process of visiting various churches to fit the right fit. I've attended on for about a month which I really enjoyed, but my partner didn't. This past Sunday we visited another, which is a UU church. I'm finding a hard time fitting into the UU church with my beliefs, but I'm not sure where I fit in. I guess I would consider myself a Christian Unitarian(?) because of my belief in God and Jesus Christ. I am drawn to some progressive and liberal nondenominational Christian churches because of the biblical teaching and sermons, however, I don't believe all the tenants of Christianity. I don't believe in the Triune God, that Jesus rose from the dead, was born by the Holy Spirit, but I do enjoy reading and following a life like that of Christ. Maybe I am not unique in these beliefs, and maybe some people that attend Christian congregations also have similar beliefs and doubts. I couldn't call myself a true Christian because of this, and I guess I feel like a fraud if I subscribe to a faith that doesn't accurately speak what I know to be true.

I have viewed several sermons online from other UU churches, but still intend on visiting in person for the full experience. If you attend a UU congregation, is the topic of God ever discussed/mentioned? This is something I am seeking in a UU congregation, but I'm not sure it exists. It is important to me that a church focuses heavily on community care and social justice work, and I love that these topics are discussed heavily, but I know that what I am seeking is more faith based worship. The topics and sermons discussed in "worship" don't really promote spiritual growth in the way I want it to, and I think I'm struggling with that. I'm curious if anyone else feels this too within a UU church or other? How do you reconcile these thoughts and feelings?

So how do you deal with a person who actively votes for racism and against LGBT rights? This person is extremely intelligent and has advanced college degrees. They are aware of racism, financial disparities, etc. This isn't a matter of ignorance. They strongly believe the exact opposite of what I believe. They're also a family member. Once upon a time a close family member. Another family member I have gone no-contact with, but I love this family member dearly and would genuinely miss them. Any advice?

Link to article: "Redux: Why the UUA is Doomed to Fail in Its Goals" by the cognitive scientist and philosopher David Cycleback Ph.D.

Full text of the article reprinted below:

Preface

The following is an old analysis of mine explaining why the Unitarian Universalist Association’s attempts to increase the church’s general and racial and ethnic minority membership, while laudable in intent, are horribly ill-conceived and lacking in common sense, and the church is unlikely to achieve either goal.

I repost it because the UUA published its 2024 UUA Certification Report (click to read) which not only details the church’s membership and financial problems (In the past decade covered by the report, membership has dropped 16% and, adjusted for inflation, pledging has dropped 17%) but also shows that racial minority membership has fallen in recent years. According to surveys of congregations, UU minority membership has fallen from 11 percent in 2008 to an even more paltry 6-9% in 2024. The 2024 report is a treasure trove of information and numbers about UU and its congregations. Clearly, the UUA’s methods are not only not working but making things worse.

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The old analysis: "Why the UUA is Doomed to Fail in Its Goals"

Unitarian Universalism (UU) is a tiny, eccentric, politically far-left, and predominantly white church with dwindling membership. It is far whiter than the United States population and than most Christian and conservative churches, including the Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Anglican Church, and Mormons. While UU has advanced from its heterosexual patriarchal roots, the lack of racial diversity has been a source of angst to many UUs who see themselves as social justice vanguards. (UUA 2010) (Braestrup 2017) (Pew Research Center 2015)

Doubling concerns, according to its 2022 report, the UUA has had the largest drop in membership and number of congregations in church history. There are currently the fewest members, religious education (RE) members, and number of congregations ever. The previous pre-Covid census in 2020 showed the largest drop in membership in twenty-three years and the largest drop in Religious Education membership in forty-nine years. (UUA 2020) (Loehr 2005) (Halsted 2019) (UUA 1997)

The current national UU leadership has expressed that it aspires to both increase UU membership and greatly increase racial minority membership by moving UU even further to the political left into extremism. This article explains how these goals can conflict and how the current national UU’s attempts may achieve neither. (Frederick-Gray 2021) (CLFUU 2017)

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UU’s Traditional Culture

As with most churches, Unitarian Universalism has had a particular demographic and culture. UU is associated with its white, Puritan, New England Unitarian roots. Famous Unitarians included Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, Susan B. Anthony, Thomas Jefferson, Frank Lloyd Wright, Kurt Vonnegut and Julian Jaynes. The Collegeville Pennsylvania fellowship is named after Thomas Paine.

Martin Luther King Jr. said Sunday at 11 a.m. is the most segregated time in America, with people traditionally tending to congregate with their own demographic. Some racial minorities have said they are drawn to UU’s beliefs but have a hard time fitting in with the dominant culture. One congregant wrote, “I don’t think segregation is intentional. It’s a matter of music, demographics, age, culture, worship style, etc.” (Blake 2010) (Grossman 2015) (8th Principle 2021)

Anyone who attends a UU congregation knows they can have a controlled, insular, polite, Northern European-American culture. As a native of Wisconsin and with many Minnesotan relatives, I’ve commented that the culture of the Seattle UU congregation I attend is “very Scandinavian.” I am neurodivergent (autistic and bipolar) and Sephardic Jewish and from personal experience understand how people who are different can feel frustrated and misunderstood in a UU congregation’s culture.

I agree with the UUA that UUs should work on being educated about different cultures and peoples and how to be welcoming to those who are attracted to UU’s beliefs.

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It’s Not Just Racial Minorities: UU Culture Is Unwelcoming to the Majority in Most Demographics

Usually omitted in the argument that UU culture is unattractive to most racial minorities– and in the mind of some is, thus, “racist”– is the fact that UU is unattractive to most whites. Many outsiders would describe the current UU as a counterculture. I once wrote, “Yes, It is true that UU is unattractive to most blacks. It is also unattractive to most whites, Asians, Hispanics, Middle Easterners, Jews, and every other race and ethnicity. That’s why it’s so small.” My white libertarian friend from Texas would follow the UU’s Principles and is a fan of the Unitarian psychologist Julian Jaynes. He told me he could stand about ten seconds of UU’s brand of identity politics and politically correct language.

I have talked to atheists who I thought might be attracted to a church that has atheists. The majority of the small sample had no interest in joining a UU congregation because they don’t want to belong to any organized church, even one that has atheists and agnostics, and attend services that have a church-like style. Even to these politically left atheists, a “church for atheists” was an incongruous concept.

Many working-class and working-class background UUs have long complained about classicism and vocation/education elitism in UU and UU congregations. This remains. Economics professor and social critic Glenn Loury says that most proponents of the prevailing UUA-style social justice and identity politics are university-educated “cultural elites” who are often out of touch with and even dismissive of white and non-white working-class and poor American cultures and views. (Loury 2022)

A complaint about the recent years’ narrowing of UU’s politics is that it excludes political moderates and conservatives who would embrace the UU’s Principles. There is no political litmus test to be a UU, and there is no reason that many moderates and conservatives who believe in “the inherent worth and dignity of every person” can’t belong to a UU or other religiously liberal church. UU Minister Rev. Sean Neil-Baron put it “We are a liberal religion not a religion for liberals,” and there used to be an active group for conservative UUs. (UUA 2017) (Morgenstern 2020)

I know numerous UUs who have said they wish their congregational membership had a broader political spectrum. Many UUs are rotely dismissive and even openly disdainful of conservatives, often just assuming all UU congregants share their progressive views. A more conservative ex-UU wrote, “I left the Unitarian Church several years ago when I came to realize that it is little more than a liberal-left wing political advocacy group masquerading as a religion.”

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Moving Further Left Makes UU Only More Unappealing to Most Minorities

About fourteen percent of the country is black. It is simply the statistical reality that if every church wants to be, say, forty percent black, that is impossible. UU, in its traditional or current state, will not be the type of church that attracts large swaths of blacks and other racial and ethnic minorities.

In her 2017 essay Where Are We Headed?, UU Minister Rev. Kate Braestrup wrote that UU would have to become more conservative and welcoming to a broader range of political views to attract many minorities who are generally more conservative than UU. (Braestrup 2017)

Pew Research Center polling has shown that the progressive left is only 6% of the United States population, and is predominantly non-Hispanic white and culturally elite (highly educated and economically privileged). Similarly, a 2021 national education poll reported that the “extreme woke” (Those who advocate for the dismantling of society, that students should be taught that whites are oppressors and non-whites are oppressed, etc.) make up 6% of the population and is disproportionally non-Hispanic white and culturally/socially elite. (Pew Research Center 2021) (Sumner 2022)

According to a 2020 Pew Research Center Poll, 65 percent of black Democrats identify as moderate or conservative, and only 37 percent of Hispanic Democrats identify as politically liberal. By a wide margin, whites are the most likely to be in the far left or progressive portion of the Democratic Party. An Indian immigrant told me that he no longer felt welcome or heard in his UU congregation due to his more conservative viewpoints. (Pew Research Center 2021) (Pew Research Center 2020) (Winston 2020)

Taking a variety of fringe political positions unpopular with most minorities, the UUA has called for the abolishment of police and for congregations to quit calling the police. A 2021 national poll showed that only 23 percent of blacks, 16 percent of Hispanics, and 22 percent of Asians support reducing spending on police. Polls over the years have consistently shown that the large majority of all racial and ethnic groups want the same or more spending on police and the same or larger police presence in their neighborhoods. (UUA 2020) (Pew Research Center 2021) (Gallup 2020) (Parker & Hurst 2021) (Hirsi 2021)

Black civil rights leader and Democratic Party Whip James Clyburn said that the “Defund the Police” sloganeering cost Democrats seats in the 2020 election and harmed the Black Lives Matter cause. Los Angeles Mayor and former Congressional Black Caucus Chair Karen Bass called Defund the Police “probably one of the worst slogans ever.” (Brown 2020) (Moore 2020)

The national UU and UU groups have aligned themselves with fringe Jewish groups, such as Jewish Voice for Peace, and movements, such as BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions), that are out of step with majority Jewish views and even labeled as antisemitic by mainstream Jewish organizations. (McCardle 2016) (Leblang 2017) (ADL 2015)

Multiple national polls have shown that not only are substantially large majorities of all racial demographics against politically correct culture and the politically correct language adopted by the UUA, UU World, UU ministers and many congregations, but the top three in opposition are American Indians (88%), Latinos (87%) and Asians (82%). Seventy-five percent of black Americans were against PC culture and language. (ThinkNow 2019) (Monk 2018)

Black linguist and black-English expert John McWhorter wrote that the term “BIPOC” is unpopular with most racial minorities. A Latino pollster found that “When it came to ‘Latinx,’ there was near unanimity. Despite its usage by academics and cultural influencers, 98% of Latinos prefer other terms to describe their ethnicity. Only 2% of our respondents said the label accurately describes them, making it the least popular ethnic label among Latinos.” Some Latinos have called white people using Latinx “Anglo-Imperialist,’’ “Anglicizing our language,” “culturally ignorant,” and “English speakers imposing their social norms on other cultures.” (Thinknow 2018) (Douthat 2019) (McWhorter 2022) (Cunningham 2017)

Common sense says that a white-dominant church or congregation is not going to attract or be welcoming to most racial and ethnic minorities by adopting unpopular and sometimes even offending language and political positions.

Rev. Braestrup wrote: “Despite our decades of self-flagellating attempts to scour away every vestige of racism from our bleeding hearts, religions that have never made the slightest effort to ‘dismantle white supremacy’ aren’t just more successful at attracting congregants of all colors, they are — according to our own preferred measures — far less racist . . . . The statistics, in other words, strongly imply that anyone who wishes to belong to a non-racist church should depart Unitarian Universalism and join the Assemblies of God. Or– easier still– become a Catholic.” (Braestrup 2017)

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While UUs like to think of themselves as independent thinkers and open-minded, I find them to be as much of groupthinkers and crowd followers as in any religious denomination. UU spaces are often political and ideological bubbles, unaware of or dismissing different viewpoints including from minorities. A UU said that to many UUs multiculturalism means “People who think like us but come in different colors.” I replied, “Multiculturalism means they aren’t all going to think like you, and many will think things you very much disagree with.”

UU leaders often hold up the goals of multiculturalism and diversity. However, they don’t really want multiculturalism and diversity. A multicultural and diverse church would contain diverse political, social and ideological ideas and values. With their new expectations of political and ideological conformity, national UU leaders are trying to create a monoculture that, ironically, will exclude most racial, ethnic and other minorities.

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Conflicting Goals

The UUA’s efforts are not just about attracting minorities to UU but being more inclusive and empowering of minorities already in UU. The latter are important but cause a conflict.

Racial minorities in UU tend to be much further to the political left, more radical and identity politics-centric than the general racial minority population. Also, UU advertises itself as a “safe space,” so attracts from the small percentage of minorities who psychologically want or need safe spaces.

Many white UUs and white progressives are under the mistaken impression that radical minority activists are proxies for their entire demographics. This often is because UU leaders and idealogues misleadingly say that the positions are the majority views or the only “authentic voice” of minorities. UUs are learning about race relations from a tiny group that is unrepresentative of the larger minority groups. (Hirsi 2021) (Loury 2021)

Doing what “BIPOC of UU” want will make UU even less appealing to most outside racial minorities. The radicalization of UU may not only not attract many racial minorities to UU but likely will lead to many religious liberals leaving.

The conflict is exemplified by the word Latinx. UU works to be LGBT+ inclusive and the UUA, UU World and many UU congregations and groups commonly use the term Latinx. Latinx is simultaneously seen as gender-inclusive and is off-putting to a majority of Latinos. (Douthat 2019)

The use of Latinx demonstrates that UU aspires for the diversity and inclusion of numerous minority identities, not just racial and ethnic. In both practice and theory, this is a conundrum because minority cultures and demographics are never in exact alignment with each other. That’s why it’s a challenge to create successful multi-cultural and interfaith organizations. People with multiple identities often experience such internal conflicts.

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Many Ways to Create and Different Considerations of Diversity

Some UUs are not troubled by the lack of racial diversity. They say that most churches and congregations have particular cultures and demographics, such as Scandinavian Lutheran and Eastern Orthodox congregations, many Muslim and Hindu temples and Jewish synagogues. The least racially diverse American church is the National Baptist Convention with ninety-nine percent black membership. Of the six least racially diverse American churches, three are 90+ percent white and the other three are either 90+ percent black or 90+ percent Asian. With 80 percent of Jews worldwide being Ashkenazi, it’s no surprise that the synagogue I attend is predominantly Ashkenazi. Further, a congregation mostly attracts people from its neighborhood which means the congregation will tend to reflect the demographics of the neighborhood. (Pew Research Center 2015)

As far as attaining diversity and multiculturalism go, there is more than one way to skin a cat. For example, racially and ethnically monolithic congregations can do interfaith work with other congregations and organizations. A Seattle UU congregation belongs to an interfaith network with members from the neighborhood mosque, Hispanic Catholic congregation and synagogue working together in neighborhood charity work. This type of work involves not only a diversity of races, but of cultures and beliefs.

It is problematic when UUs want ethnic and racial minorities to be part of their church but only if they “think the way we do.” I see a tokenizing and fetishism in focusing strictly on the percentage of skin colors in a congregation, and a pandering in doing whatever it takes to attract people of different skin colors.

UU Minister Rev. Craig Moro wrote, “I suspect one of the things that drives ‘BIPOC’ folks away after a visit or two is that some UUs seem to be trying to ‘collect’ them– to add them to some sort of collection of skins and heads. That would scare me, too!”

An Asian man who quit UU wrote, “The tone of the entire organization has shifted more and more left and privileged as time goes on . . . When a person of color does show up (myself included), it was ridiculous. Our opinions were not valued because they were our opinions, but simply because of the color of our skin. In trying to be more inclusive, the organization became more racist. No non-white person wants to get in a room and watch rich white people flog themselves all day and apologize for transgressions that may or may not have ever happened. It is tiresome and has nothing to do with fellowship. It just makes those members feel better.”

I wonder about UU laity who are so easily and sometimes unquestioningly willing to discard their long-held UU values such as religious liberalism, self-determination, due process, diversity of individual views and paths, and freedom of expression simply because a small group of self-anointed authorities in classes and the pulpit instruct them to. It makes me wonder what other values they’d be willing to throw overboard in the name of a cause, because of the color of someone’s skin or to go along with a crowd.

Some UUs say that the object shouldn’t be to blindly fixate on a numbers game of “bringing in minorities” but on making sure congregations and members are welcoming to people of all racial, ethnic, and other demographics who are attracted to UU’s beliefs.

I belong to different communities. These include my Armenian-Iranian immigrant partner and her Armenian family, my mostly white but gender-diverse UU congregation, a synagogue, a multi-racial and racial minority-led workplace, and a vintage baseball card collecting club that is nearly all white male but with a wide diversity of religious and political beliefs. The combination of these and other relationships is my multi-cultural experience, and I neither expect nor want each to be the same.

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The challenge of creating racial diversity and how to attract and maintain minorities in dominant white churches is not an issue just for Unitarian Universalism. With challenges, successes and failures, there have been numerous attempts to create multi-racial Christian churches. (Gjelten 2020)

There is no one or objectively correct answer as to what should be achieved or how to achieve it, and any way involves conflicts and trade-offs. A church can’t be all things it wants and doesn’t want to be all things to all people. To gain one valued thing you often have to give up another valued thing, and pleasing one group of people within a community sometimes will turn off another group. Such is the nature of communities, especially in a liberal, pluralistic church.

However, I firmly believe the UUA’s and many UU congregations’ attempts to move UU as a whole further to the left into political extremism, both generally but in particular in the area of identity politics, and to try to create ideological and political homogony will neither attract substantial numbers of racial and ethnic minorities nor expand UU membership.

In fact, after I originally wrote this article in 2022 the UUA reported yet another huge drop in membership for 2023. (Added Update: The UUA’s 2024 report shows that the percentage of racial minorities in UU has also dropped). (UUA 2023)

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References

8th Principle (2021), “Where Did This Come From Originally?”, https://www.8thprincipleuu.org/background

ADL (2015), “BDS: The Global Campaign to Delegitimize Israel”, https://www.adl.org/resources/backgrounders/bds-the-global-campaign-to-delegitimize-israel

Blake J (2010), “Why Sunday morning remains America’s most segregated hour”, https://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/06/why-sunday-morning-remains-americas-most-segregated-hour/

Braestrup K (2017), “Where Are We Headed?”, https://trulyopenmindsandhearts.blog/2017/11/21/where-are-we-headed/

Brown, M. (2020), “Democratic Whip James Clyburn: ‘Defund the police’ cost Democrats seats, hurt Black Lives Matter movement,” https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/11/08/james-clyburn-defund-police-cost-democrats-seats-hurt-black-lives-matter/6216371002/

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Douthat R (2019), “Democrats’ Latinx Problem”, https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/05/opinion/latinix-warren-democrats.html

Frederick-Gray S (2021), “Sea Change, Not Slow Change”, https://www.uuworld.org/articles/president-fall-2021

Gallup (2020), “Black Americans Want Police to Retain Local Presence”, https://news.gallup.com/poll/316571/black-americans-police-retain-local-presence.aspx

Gjelten T (2020), “Multiracial Congregations May Not Bridge Racial Divide”, https://www.npr.org/2020/07/17/891600067/multiracial-congregations-may-not-bridge-racial-divide

Grossman C (2015), “Sunday Is Still the Most Segregated Day of the Week”, https://www.americamagazine.org/content/all-things/sunday-still-most-segregated-day-week

Halsted J (2019), “My Church is Dying and I’m OK with that”, https://praywithyourfeet.org/2019/12/17/my-church-is-dying-and-im-ok-with-that/

Hirsi I (2021), “Black Residents of Minneapolis Say They Need More Cops—Not Fewer”, https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/minneapolis-police-reform/

Leblang D (2017) “Area Jews ask: Why would a church show an anti-Semitic movie?”, https://www.jewishjournal.org/2017/11/02/area-jews-ask-why-would-a-church-show-an-anti-semitic-movie/

Loehr D (2005), “Why Unitarian Universalism is Dying”, https://files.meadville.edu/files/resources/why-unitarian-universalism-is-dying.pdf

Loury G (2021), “Wrestle not against flesh and blood: Original Essay of the Journal of Free Black Thought,” Journal of Free Black Thought

Loury G (2022), “Why Does Racial Inequality Persist?”, https://media4.manhattan-institute.org/sites/default/files/R-0519-GL.pdf

McArdle E (2016), “Rabbi Jacobs: Why I raised divestment concerns during celebration”, http://uuworld.org/articles/uuaga2016jacobsdivestment

McCardle E (2017),”Two-thirds of UU congregations participate in White Supremacy Teach-In”, https://www.uuworld.org/articles/two-thirds-participate-teach

McWhorter J (2022), “BIPOC is Jargon. That’s OK, and Normal People Don’t Have to Use It”,
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/25/opinion/bipoc-latinx.html

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Parker & Hurst (2021) “Growing share of Americans say they want more spending on police in their area”, https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/10/26/growing-share-of-americans-say-they-want-more-spending-on-police-in-their-area/

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http://medium.com/@ThinkNowTweets/progressive-latino-pollster-trust-me-latinos-do-not-identify-with-latinx-63229adebcea

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Winston D (2020), “As Democrats go hard left, Hispanics head to the center”, https://rollcall.com/2021/06/23/as-democrats-go-hard-left-hispanics-head-to-the-center/

WSUU (2018), “Beloved Congregations”, https://wsuu.org/2018/11/07/sign-up-for-beloved-conversations-groups/

Are there many UU fellowships or churches where the CUUPS members kind of take the leadership role for the wider UU congregation? Specifically in Texas, but anywhere. I’ve heard Denton UU is and know they have a Strong CUUPS. Author John Beckett goes there and he is a Druid, Pagan and CUUPS member. I plan on reaching out to CUUPS after the holidays, I’m looking for a speaker who could give an introduction to CUUPS to older members. Another question, what besides Reddit is a good place to network for UU? I find no forums or message boards, if that is even still a thing.

Looking to utilize PayPal or another service to set up a donation space on our website and in person to encourage people to give. Positives, Negatives, better service than PayPal? (It’s just the one I’m familiar with)

Has anyone here belong to a congregation that has "let go" of a staff? As a board member, I feel stuck. About 12 years ago, we used to have a decent RE program (around 30 kids per week), but even before COVID, the numbers started to drop to about 10-15 kids per week. Post-COVID, it is about 8 kids. My first term on the board of directors, there were discussions on cutting their hours (and pay) because of the lack of growth and that we could not afford them ($58,000/ yr). Vocal parents that had kids in RE shut down any action in her hours being cut. So, here we are 6 years later. DRE makes more money and congregation is struggling financially. DRE is nice but no energy. Kids stop coming, families stop coming. Something has to give. Thoughts?

I was driving by a UU church in my community recently and just love the idea of it, but upon reading more in the website/promotional videos it mentions multiple times that it is a liberal community. Our political beliefs lean conservative-ish (realistically we are somewhere in the middle). I am not looking to join a community that is focused on political views. If most of the people there are liberal I couldn’t care less, but I wanted to ask since it specifically mentioned it a few times. Is it wrong to assume that the term liberal in the descriptions that I am seeing meant to have a political definition?

For a little background, I grew up in Christianity and so did my husband but neither of us really prescribed to the faith. I did enjoy attending church and having that sense of community, loving one another, and the social aspect was wonderful too. Personally, I have really been struggling with a lack of the sense of community where I am at. Growing up, the majority of our family friends were through our church. I went to a lot of church camps and such, but never really “bought in” to the religion of that makes sense. I do, however, believe that there are a lot of good life lessons and morals in all religions that would be good for my own children to be exposed to. I also want them to have that same sense of community but I don’t want to feel like a fraud taking them to church if I don’t really believe in it. Plus, I want them to have the opportunity to choose for themselves which (if any) religions resonate with them.

not quite uu q&a since unity isn't uu, but thought i'd ask since they're pretty similar to uu, they're both liberal theologies that are significantly abrahamic yet somehow they're chill about worshipping other gods. uu is great too but i prefer unity services bcoz spirituality is more center stage but i dont live near a unity church so im looking for an online unity.

I am terrified of the coming year.

So it's time to review what my beliefs actually are. Maybe find some solid ground.

I believe in bodily autonomy. You cannot separate yourself from your physical body so you have the right to say what happens to it. Is that realistic and practical? Not really, but as much as possible, people should have control over what happens to their body.

I believe that we are part of the Earth, not separate from it. We are chemical processes with the illusion of consciousness. While we may be able to become a space-faring species, we are still inherently part of this planet like a blade of grass or drops of water in the ocean.

I believe there is something in the Universe that creates and destroys. I believe it has no special interest in humans any more or less than ants. We are all the same to whatever it is. I believe that it is not something comprehensible to my puny little brain and that prayers and supplications have no effect on it. But it is out there and we might as well ask.

I believe that people form their beliefs from their experiences. Each person has unique and individual experiences, so each person has unique and individual beliefs. This is important because we need to give each other the grace to understand that my beliefs may contradict your beliefs. They are natural outcomes of our lived experiences. Both are valid. Neither is fact.

I believe that every religious tradition has truth in it. I believe that no single religious tradition has a monopoly on the truth. If a particular religion aligns with your core beliefs and gives you whatever you seek from religion, then that one is the right one for you. But you do not get to impose your religion on other people who have their own experiences, beliefs, and needs.

I believe that we need to be kinder to each other and allow each other the space to breath and be. That applies to your best friend, your relatives, the customer service rep on the phone, the stranger, the immigrant, and whoever feels alien to you, particularly if it's your own child.

HOWEVER, I also strongly believe that you have the right to walk away from people who consistently cause you pain or grief - as well as people you consistently inflict pain and grief upon. It is best to try to find understanding and common ground, but sometimes it isn't possible. In those cases it's important to try and maintain connection. But if you cannot without significant pain and distress, you have the right to walk away.

I believe that a good soldier looks after themselves first - but then helps others as best they can.

I believe that if you are not harming anyone - including yourself - then you can do whatever you want.

I believe that whatever happens between consenting adults is their business. Celebrate with them or leave them alone.

I believe that you never step in the same river twice - the environment is always changing, but also so are you.

I believe that every action has ripples you never see.

I believe when you feel self-righteous, you are generally wrong and need to examine that.

I believe that lying, stealing, and murder are fundamentally wrong, but that each situation is nuanced and in some cases lying, stealing, and murder are justifiable. Lying to protect someone from harm, stealing to feed your starving family, killing to prevent more killing from happening, etc.

I believe that most people are good and doing the best they can based on their needs, beliefs, and experiences.

I believe each of us is the fountain of life and we allow each other to see the light when we show the light that is eternal within us.

I believe there is no afterlife. Once the brain activity stops, the person no longer exists.

I believe that I can be wrong on any and all of this. I'm definitely wrong on some of it, but I don't know which parts.

Note: " Unitarism the spirit of the devil the antichrist! -- and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time. They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

Bible: Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son. Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

Bible: Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

Bible: For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist"

(how to respond?)

Hi, I’m a 19 year old girl in college looking for guidance and just something to look to in life. I am baptized catholic but never really practiced growing up nor followed their beliefs. I am a very liberal and progressive person and I want to follow a religion who has those same beliefs. Through some research I’ve come across Unitarian, I’m interested in learning and possibly becoming a religious person (I don’t know how to word it). Any tips, things to look at, resources, or guidance?

What are some good and acceptable ways to fund a UU Fellowship? Several of the Fellowships near our location (East Texas) struggle with funding. Most lack funding due to attrition and an aging membership that is limited to fixed incomes. Ours had reached a tipping point where expenses were greater than revenue, until older members who had moved away agreed to lend support for a season, effectively giving the fellowship a needed shot in the arm. The current economy also is an issue, rising utilities and the shrinking given dollar, as well as inflation shrinking what people have to give are all factors. Do you have any creative ideas or suggestions?

Does your UU have a book table / room or other area that sells books? Does it have a lending library? We are new to UU and are exploring ways to help our Fellowship with the talents we have. Do you have a favorite UU related book, or book that you feel is important to UU issues and concerns?

I am so grateful for my Congregation. Everything seems so bleak right now, but I am truly excited to choose to go on Sundays. Even stay for coffee hour. Participating in groups. Helping other people. Donating my time and money. Having a group of likeminded people where I can just be myself and be around people who also want the betterment of the world and rights for all people. Like holy moly. I just don’t understand how people aren’t attracted to this kind of openness, love, understanding, and thought provoking way to live.

This place has truly inspired me to be a better person and make thoughts and words actions.

Those of you with experience/insight with both OWL and True Love Waits: I know OWL is great as a primary sex education teaching tool, but could it also be used to “unteach” some of the harmful and inaccurate teachings of True Love Waits? (specifically for adults who were raised in “purity culture”?)

UU is great, but mainstream Christianity's belief in hell for people who don't follow the Abrahamic God, from Hindus to Buddhists to atheists to pagans or even Abrahamic believers who don't live austere lives and actually have worldly fun like going to a rock concert or never wanting to marry or reproduce. The infinite torment for finite sins many of which don't harm anyone. It's refreshing knowing there used to be one Christian denomination that actually had preachers who said "there's no hell". I know you can be a UU who's a Christian universalist but it's not the same as the person in a stole saying point blank that my witch friends aren't going to hell, my friends who slept in on Sunday aren't going to hell, I'm not going to hell.

Rev. Andrew Brown, minister at Cambridge (UK) Unitarian, has been translating Norbert Čapek, founder of the Czech Unitarian church, and close friend of Tomas Mazaryk, first president of Czechoslovakia. This was written in 1925 as both the country and the church were being organized.

This is a bit of UU history, and a statement of principles still relevant.

https://andrewjbrown.blogspot.com/2024/12/let-us-fully-think-through-our.html

I was thinking people could have general posts about books, articles, or short stories they've read and how they relate to their spiritual journey.

However, my main goal would be to have a "Big Read" of sorts on a quarterly basis. Mods would take turns choosing a book, everyone who's interested would read it, and then we'd have a virtual book club. We could discuss it in typical threads, but we could also schedule live chats either on Reddit or possibly on Discord.

I'd of course be willing to mod, but I would need a few others to volunteer to do so, as well. I've included a poll to gauge interest, but I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Edit: Ugh, I can't believe I missed that typo in the title. Reddit needs to let us edit titles!

View Poll

Our UU always hosts Christmas Eve service at a gorgeous chapel and the city’s non-Catholic christians usually attend, regardless if they’re UU. Last year, the Powers That Be decided to hold it on 23rd instead of 24th. We all thought it could be due to day of the week but they just announced they’ll be doing it again so that people can spend Eve with their family.

It feels so disrespectful. Our congregation has a history of diminishing and vilifying christian aspects of faith while uplifting pagan, jewish, and buddhist philosophies. They do a solstice event carefully planned for the date and hour but won’t do Christmas Eve on Christmas Eve.

I don’t know if an angry letter to the Board will do anything, and I’m not well connected enough to rally signatures, so I don’t know if there’s anything to do but it’s my last straw with this “church”. Not very democratic or accepting/encouraging spiritual growth IMO.

For the record, I grew up UU. Loved OWL and the multi-faith Religious Ed curriculum. But the adult part sucks so I’ll be switching to UCC for services.

Our UU always hosts Christmas Eve service at a gorgeous chapel and the city’s non-Catholic christians usually attend, regardless if they’re UU. Last year, the Powers That Be decided to hold it on 23rd instead of 24th. We all thought it could be due to day of the week but they just announced they’ll be doing it again so that people can spend Eve with their family.

It feels so disrespectful. Our congregation has a history of diminishing and vilifying christian aspects of faith while uplifting pagan, jewish, and buddhist philosophies. They do a solstice event carefully planned for the date and hour but won’t do Christmas Eve on Christmas Eve.

I don’t know if an angry letter to the Board will do anything, and I’m not well connected enough to rally signatures, so I don’t know if there’s anything to do but it’s my last straw with this “church”. Not very democratic or accepting/encouraging spiritual growth IMO.

For the record, I grew up UU. Loved OWL and the multi-faith Religious Ed curriculum. But the adult part sucks so I’ll be switching to UCC for services.

I’ve been interested in Unitarian Universalist for several years as it seems way more open minded to free thinkers and ideas than pretty much all religions.

The only thing stopping me from attending is it seems this religion is extremely left leaning activist.

I’m 110% for ACTUAL equality. Where skin color, gender, religion, or political belief shouldnt matter. What SHOULD matter is a persons character and skillset. This shouldnt even be controversial as it should stand to reason the best qualified person should get the job. No ones looked for a plumber or a doctor based on their skin color. They look for the more qualified doctor or plumber. Thats my belief.

It seems like this religion wouldnt be open minded to such an idea and mislabel it as “racist”. I think it’s more racist to assume blacks cant do things without making it easier for them. I think it’s more racist to make things harder for me cuz Im white.

I’m looking for a religion where I’m welcome not shunned because i believe in TRUE equality rather than EQUITY. How pressing of an issue is this in these “churches”? I dont plan on ever bringing political topics, but fear that Id be walking into a propaganda session where white people are brainwashed into thinking they’re inherently evil and blacks are oppressed.

I really just want a religion where I can be around good morally sound people who are intellectual. Where we can freely speak about regions beliefs and pray together. I’m not about the racial activism. If we’re going to protest corporate America,…sure I’m with ya….fight for workers rights, legalize weed, or any number of social issues fine….but I’m not willing to go to a church to be told I’m inherently racist just for existing.

Is this a critical part of the religion or am I just looking into it to much?

i just made a very beautifully illustrated and informative book about the basics and fundamentals of spirituality for children to read. I would love to share it with ppl in here to read and even read to their children. Let me know your thoughts.

Link: https://heyzine.com/flip-book/44ab6b7670.html

Good evening,

I'm a college student who is highly interested in continuing my education into seminary school surrounding early Christian theology and the divinity within faith-based service. With this in mind, I am thinking of pursuing a master's in divinity, and I'm thinking of the typical non-denominational seminaries and also Meadville Lombard in Chicago, but I am also very interested in Notre Dame due to my families' traditional past in Catholicism and its heavy scholarship opportunities for such a long program (3-years). Does anyone know if this university, despite its history as a Catholic university, would openly welcome and guide a Unitarian Universalist in faith-based social work within their M.Div program?

The seminary school is apparently non-denominational and they push for ecumenism, and I don't mind learning about Christianity from a triune field of thought as long as its authentic and values each individual's personal covenant with God.

Thank y'all!!

As an unchurched UU, who drifted away during COVID and a major national move, I was feeling a tug to join my local UU congregation. However, I just discovered the amendments made to Article II and now have a deep sense of loss from this change that I'm now mourning.

I'm sure many of you here have adapted and are embracing the revisions. While bigger than me, I feel a sense of guilt for not being an active UUer and engaging in the process. I wanted to register my frustration and regret that I wasn't able to oppose these changes. It's my belief that the language has lost much of the substance, poetry, and history that attracted me to this faith community in the first place.

- Have UUers fully embraced this amendment?

- Is there any ongoing movement to re-revise the Article II language?

- Is there writing of deep theological substance that could make me feel that this revision is worthy of the liberal religious tradition?

Ok, so I know that this is probably a silly question, but I was wondering if one could be both Muslim and UU without sacrificing aspects of either belief system. Personally, I agree with 99% of Islam, and I think that a lot of the main points go well with the points of UU. (Kindness, charity, etc.) And, I agree with the main points of UU. (Especially the points of tolerance, acceptance, justice, etc.). My only issue is that some parts of each belief system conflict. For example, traditional Islam does not have a very open stance on gay/trans rights, something that UU does have. Personally I side with the UU side here being that I have been raised around queer people, and am LGBTQ+ myself. Of course, some Muslims believe that you can't be Muslim and pro-gay rights (despite the counter-evidence, but I digress). Additionally, I believe that all religions are right in a way, because I think that they're all getting at generally the same truth. (That is, seeking the truth and being a good person). This is not a common belief in Islam, as Islamic religious texts tend to use a "Them versus us" attitude. Of course, there are plenty of other points where my beliefs differ from Islam, especially in the whole "God isn't angry, he's a loving being" issue. But, for now I think you get the gist.

Now, there are plenty of Muslims that believe what I do regarding these issues, but I'm always worried about disrespecting religions. If I side with the majority of Muslims, I wouldn't be truly following UU. (Which I want to do!) If I side with UU, plenty of Muslims would call me sacrilegious and a kaffir, and I would never want to disrespect a religion, even though I a part of it for over 3 years so far. My questions are:

1. Is there a way to make both groups happy?
2. Is making both groups happy even a good use of my time? Does it matter in the end?
3. Are there any other Muslims UUs out there with similar situations to mine?
4. How can I merge my personal spirituality and beliefs with both religions/groups in the most effective way possible?

Please keep in mind that I am very new to Unitarian Universalism, and some of this information/terminology may be wrong. I may later repost this to the progressive Islam subreddit, but I want to see what this sub has to say first. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have an awesome day!

EDIT: The idea of hell is another place where I diverge from Islam. I truly do not believe that God is an angry being who hates his children. I believe that God, whoever they may be, is a being and love and light. God might be disappointed with us sometimes, but never angry. Just wanted to expand a bit more on that since it is very important to me.

I haven’t been able to join the church yet, as the “parish” (if that’s the right word) in my area hasn’t responded to my email yet, but I’m hoping someone here would have knowledge of texts that provide deeper insight into acquiring a higher level of patience, reserve, and tolerance of others’ behavior. I tend to be irritable by some people I’m close to, who aren’t very considerate in how they speak to people, but I mask it well. Specifically interested in Buddhism and Hinduism but any chapters/verses of any texts on this topic will do. Any other scripture you feel is imperative in a journey to hone virtuous tendencies or resilience/perseverance during hardship would very welcome as well. Bless you 🙏

I am planning a welcome bag for our many first time visitors at my local UU congregation. If you are a member of a UU congregation, does your church give out any kind of 'welcome bag' or any sort? If so, what does it contain. If you are visiting a congregation and received such a bad, what was it like? Was there anything you particularly liked or disliked about the contents and the gesture?

I am loathe to give up my membership to a small struggling church but it's not feeding me spiritually anymore. I think it only has 2-3 years left before closing its doors.

I have been attending a different church and enjoy it, and they are having a big vote soon about a potential settled minister I would like to be part of.

Can I in good conscious be a member of both? Especially interested in any minister or UU professional viewpoints but all opinions welcome.

I would definitely keep the bulk pledging at the smaller church as they really need it and the other is very solidly in the black. Or i could wait to join the new church and switch the full pledge at that point.

Today I finally went to my first service online with CLF. I enjoyed it and was kinda wanting to talk to other members. But I can't seem to find any online groups on places like discord , WhatsApp , telegram , etc for UUS. Anyone have any links ? Was thinking of going to my local UU about an hour away but from what I can see from their recorded services the congregation were pretty much older people. I'm 34 and was hoping to find people in my age range to talk to a bit more while I get to know the religion.

I am spiritual though not religious and I haven’t been to a church since I was a kid so I don’t really know the proper etiquette to attending a first service.
Through the website of the church I am looking at, I filled out a “new member visitor request card” but didn’t receive any response back(it’s been a couple weeks). I feel like if I keep waiting I’ll just end up not going but I really want to see what they are all about. So, TL:DR is it weird to attend a service for the first time without any correspondence from the church?

And Daowu says of this need to act, that it comes not through an interpretation of the image of the interdependent web, not through reading the Wealth of Nations, not through solid Marxist analysis, not through righteousness of any sort, certainly not righteous anger, a dreadful seducer beckoning us to a confusion of ends and means: but rather like someone turning in her sleep and reaching a hand behind her head to adjust her pillow.

Just this. Ends and means, one thing. Our interdependence and you and I, one thing.

It becomes our broken song. It acknowledges fully and without hesitation the cracks in everything. It remembers the call to Thanksgiving and Humiliation. It recalls the horrors of days. And endless failures. And it sees something else. Joys small and great. Beauty. Loves, small and great. In the very same place. At the very same time. Found as we loosen the death grip of our knowing and slip into the mysteries of not knowing.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/monkeymind/2023/11/a-zen-meditation-on-our-american-thanksgiving.html

Rev. James Ford, UU minister and Zen teacher

I've been a Unitarian Universalist for 25 years. When I found this faith, the church I joined had a wide variety of both religious and political perspectives, all of which were treated with curiosity and respect. There were lots of services for many different faiths, giving us a chance to explore different belief systems and experience wide varieties of religious services. There was representation across the spectrum for political beliefs, and there were great (and respectful) conversations about the ideas valued on all sides.

15 years ago I moved to a new town, and joined the local UU church. As I've become more involved and gotten to know the congregation more, I've found that there is less and less tolerance for anyone who doesn't align far-left on the political spectrum, and for anyone who has spiritual interests beyond humanism or kindness. This political season has been brutal. Our congregation has been all but a mouthpiece for the extreme-left, and when I brought up as much to our minister, he said that perhaps I didn't realize that I had joined a "liberal faith" and that this was probably why I felt unwelcome, and that I should consider if this was really the right place for me. He's been a UU minister for about 4 years (2 with us), and as I understand it, this is the new party line that graduating ministers are expected to carry. His belief is that UUism and the UUA in particular are fundamentally left and focused more on social justice rather than spirituality. He (and many in the church) don't seem to care about the fact that we've lost good people because they've been made to feel uncomfortable and there are more of us who are debating leaving for somewhere more tolerant.

I've done some reading online, and it's clear that there are still those who hold to the bipartisan curiosity and valuing of diversity of perspective. I'm very interested finding other UUs who aren't as exclusively-left-aligned as what's being broadcast these days. I've heard there are online groups that aim to keep our organization more bipartisan and diverse. Has anyone heard of any groups like this? Or have things changed to the point where there really isn't tolerance now for anyone who's not aligned with the extreme left?

I've been a Unitarian Universalist for 25 years. When I found this faith, the church I joined had a wide variety of both religious and political perspectives, all of which were treated with curiosity and respect. There were lots of services for many different faiths, giving us a chance to explore different belief systems and experience wide varieties of religious services. There was representation across the spectrum for political beliefs, and there were great (and respectful) conversations about the ideas valued on all sides.

15 years ago I moved to a new town, and joined the local UU church. As I've become more involved and gotten to know the congregation more, I've found that there is less and less tolerance for anyone who doesn't align far-left on the political spectrum, and for anyone who has spiritual interests beyond humanism or kindness. This political season has been brutal. Our congregation has been all but a mouthpiece for the extreme-left, and when I brought up as much to our minister, he said that perhaps I didn't realize that I had joined a "liberal faith" and that this was probably why I felt unwelcome, and that I should consider if this was really the right place for me. He's been a UU minister for about 4 years (2 with us), and as I understand it, this is the new party line that graduating ministers are expected to carry. His belief is that UUism and the UUA in particular are fundamentally left and focused more on social justice rather than spirituality. He (and many in the church) don't seem to care about the fact that we've lost good people because they've been made to feel uncomfortable and there are more of us who are debating leaving for somewhere more tolerant.

I've done some reading online, and it's clear that there are still those who hold to the bipartisan curiosity and valuing of diversity of perspective. I'm very interested finding other UUs who aren't as exclusively-left-aligned as what's being broadcast these days. I've heard there are online groups that aim to keep our organization more bipartisan and diverse. Has anyone heard of any groups like this? Or have things changed to the point where there really isn't tolerance now for anyone who's not aligned with the extreme left?

I'm new and trying to decide upon a UU church. There are 2 near me. One is quite large and has two services each week and many "extra-curriculars". The other is smaller (a bit further) but I feel little more welcomed. The large church has two alternating ministers, one who hasn't really captured me, the other who I thought was great. I really like the small church minister, but on 1 to 1 she was kind of awkward. I just can't decide! Help direct me - I'm looking for deeper connections and conversations about our spirituality. I'm looking to be more involved in my community. What would you notice/look for that helps me make that decision.

Do any of you listen to UU podcast? If so which one or ones do you enjoy the most. As an FYI I am new.

So is this possible? I'm a Humanist and atheist/Spiritual Naturalist. I like Humanist ideals a lot.

The only problem is there are many Anti-Theists I feel among the Humanist ranks. I feel like in many ways, my belief in acceptance towards all others doesn't match with a lot of "Secular Humanist" notions.

There aren't many UU Churches near me, and the one I attended awhile back was just kind of meh.

I am sure there are plenty of threads like this but I felt I wanted to put my voice out there.

My background was what I would call "lazy Christian". My parents used the church for daycare back in the 70's, but I really don't remember it being a big deal for us.

When I was in boot camp, the option was given to go to service on Sunday and I choose Catholic because the option of being agnostic was, basically, punished. Couldn't put atheist on dog tags, it was Non-Denominational.

My wife and I got married in a church with a Christian minister, mainly for our families expectations and comfort. I don't even mind attending services for events with family, but we aren't a Christian household, but more secular humanists.

Now here we are, in 2024, and everything seems to be against us. We have white knuckled our way in raising 2 kids to adulthood, one gay and the other trans. It's been a struggle, but without my wife doing ALL the lifting (I have a 4 hr daily commute), we would not be a happy family.

My wife suggested that we needed to "create a community" to help carry burdens and give us the opportunity to shoulder others burdens. I said "great... Church". She comes from a Southern Baptist background but also now a secular humanists. She then showed me information about the UU fellowship near us, reminding me that we met a group of UU members when we were at the DC trans rights march. (They were really nice and not at all what I expected).

So, we watched a live stream of our local service and were commenting about everything we saw to find where we would feel that it wasn't for us. From the music (Natalie Merchant, Simon & Garfunkel, joen Lennon), to the message (Native poet(s) and being thankful), to not seeing a single symbol of religion (mainly looking for Christian symbols), to the words used (never heard God or Jesus, except from the congregation a couple of times).

I woke up this morning being thankful that, even though we haven't been yet, we may have found a community that we could be accepted in and find a way to give back and be part of.

I am actually excited to go to service (fellowship? I need to learn the words to use) on Sunday.

Tldr: new member and excited to (maybe) find a community after a lifetime on our own.

What should I expect and do they have a dress code? I was raised Baptist so that's all I'm really familiar with.

I have been a UU for 8+ years and I cherish my community. I volunteer my time and resources gladly, but without pressure to do so. I cannot imagine the shape my mental health would be in were it not for my congregation. It has been wonderful seeing many share their experiences with the UU on this subreddit. One common element among these posts has been people saying that it was common to shed tears during or after services. Often they say nothing more than "I cried." If you are such a person I am curious to hear what it was about your experience that moved you to tears. Share if you wish.

This is about my UU church in Wyoming, PA. I don't want to leave the church, but I don't know what to do. I've been UU for a long time I love the values and principles of UU. But we have a person here who is a problem.

There is so much fear and hate here. Its been going on for a couple years but gotten worse the last year and the last couple months. I even heard one of the pagans say "there's hate between the walls" but I haven't seen her anymore. Its one woman at the center of it. She used to be in the pagan group and I think they kicked her out. I don't blame them. She's hateful and toxic and abusive. I don't even know why she's still in the church.

She screams at people. She attacks people on Facebook publicly and behind their backs. She spreads lies and rumors. She makes up things just to use them to attack people. She twists things so she can get attention. She makes everything about her. Even her joys and concerns are just about her being seen not about the people they're about. Anyone she disagrees with gets treated like sh*t. She supports a spiritual leader who glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. (Seriously.) Everyone I've talked to is afraid of her and doesn't feel safe around her. Even most of the people that go to her house and hang out with her say they don't want to end up her victims. She makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Someone even said that some group she was in before kicked her out for the same things. Its difficult to believe anything she says.

She screamed at our last board president during Sunday service over plastic bags being cleaned up by minimum wage workers. It was really abusive and pretty stupid. Then she stalked out of the church and screamed at the people that went to talk to her. We could hear her from inside the church. Then she posted on her Facebook how proud she was of herself for standing up for minimum wage workers.

She spread a bunch of lies about our religious education director being transphobic and attacked her in a board meeting over it. It was all bullsh*t and everyone knows it. The RE director is one of the most caring people I know and is not transphobic. I heard she screamed at her in the middle of the board meeting for using a member's dead-name when it was actually a name they said they were okay with. The board decided to have sensitivity training. I think it was the right thing to do because education is always good. But they should have gotten rid of her after that. All she did was create a problem where there wasn't one just to make herself look good. She posted on her Facebook how proud she was of herself for "dealing with severe transphobia" and attacked the board for "rug-sweeping" even though it was all lies and made up bullsh*t. A couple of months later she attacked the board again for not getting the sensitivity training fast enough. I heard she was the one that was supposed to get it scheduled and just didn't. One of the board members got the training scheduled. She posted on her Facebook taking credit for it though. A lot of us saw it before it suddenly wasn't there anymore. Its disgusting still seeing her other Facebook posts knowing they're made up lies. She made a problem out of nothing and tried to make everyone see how she was the hero and "fixed" it. All she really did was throw a public fit over something she imagined then screamed at people about it.

The same board member recently resigned claiming mental health needs. I think she had something to do with him resigning. Everyone knows she doesn't like him and was looking for reasons to attack him. And he's one of the pagan leaders so of course she attacks him behind his back. Before he resigned he addressed the church and said he suffered a mental breakdown and apologized for not reaching out. He also said he broke a couple of people's trust and had apologized to them. I don't know what happened exactly but I heard about her screaming at someone, I think the leader of the pagan group, afterward even though I was told it had nothing to do with her. Him and the leader of the pagan group are married, I think. She obviously made it about herself again and used it to attack the leader of the pagan group again. And I'm sure there's a Facebook post about it which is probably lies. I just don't have the heart to look because her Facebook page makes me sick.

She accused a guy in the pagan group of sexu*lly *ssaulting her. No police were called and I heard they both said it was a misunderstanding. I've heard all kinds of things about it, but what I saw happen was he stopped coming to the church after that. I did hear someone tell her that if she needed more than just what our policy does, she needed to go to the police. But she keeps attacking the pagan group for some reason even though they have nothing to do with the policy and he stopped being around. The guy hasn't been near the church in over a year and a half.

I keep hearing a story about her posting something on the pagan group's Facebook page and the leader of the pagan group taking it down and her screaming at the leader of the pagan group and threatening her. Her own Facebook page says the post that got taken down was by a guy named Raven Kaldera. I Googled Raven Kaldera and he's a disgusting piece of sh*t. He's a sexual predator. He's been involved in multiple r*pes and sexu*l *ssaults of women and men. He's banned from a lot of pagan groups and places. So are a lot of people he associates with. Some incidents he's been involved in say he tells people that r*pe and sexu*l *ssault are something that makes people spiritually stronger. I didn't even have to look very hard. I'm disgusted that anyone in my church would accept someone like that as a spiritual leader. We accept all faiths, but faiths that accept and glorify r*pe and sexu*l *ssault shouldn't be allowed. I don't even know how our church would accept someone like that. I think the leader of the pagan group was right to take the post down. And if those are her religious beliefs, I don't know why she's even allowed in the church. I don't want my religious organization accepting someone that glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. And she still uses the incident to attack the leader of the pagan group on her Facebook page. Of course its only posts that people she wants can see and never the people they are about and doesn't use names, but we all know who she is talking about.

It makes me wonder about the accusation she made against the pagan guy though. She's lied and spread false rumors and twisted everything before. Her spiritual leader glorifies r*pe and sexu*l *ssault. I try to ignore rumors, but all of that make some of the things I've heard hard to ignore. Regardless of all of that, they still believed her and acted within our churches policy.

The posts she makes are her accusing the pagan group of protecting the guy she accused of sexual assault even though they have nothing to do with the policy and he hasn't come back since And if it was an accident what are they protecting him from? It looks like they took her post down because she was posting someone who endorses r*pe and sexu*l *ssault and she got angry and invented a reason to attack them. She's done it before. Protecting sexual predators seems to be okay when she does it. But she's not just protecting one, she's endorsing one. It seriously feels like a pig painting a horse pink then trying to shame it for being a pig.

I also learned that the local pagan shop won't do business with the pagan group because of her lies and rumor spreading. I did hear that the pagan shop won't do business with her anymore either though.

She is the membership committee chair and got some policy enacted where new members need to be approved by her. I don't know how that's possible, but it feels really wrong and I don't know why the board would allow it.

Her lies and manipulation has destroyed friendships and divided our community.

I don't know how to deal with someone like her. And I don't like that the board seems to just accept her abuse. I avoid her but she's destroying my community and I don't know what to do. The pagans seem like good people and the services they do are always powerful and spiritual. The pagans did so much for the church and they support so many causes, and now most of them don't show up anymore. They have been kind and accepting and caring. She has been manipulative and toxic and abusive. The leader of the pagan group was always there when people cried or needed support. She always came to service. She was there for people. She did the new year's service every year and it was really amazing. The pagan board member that resigned always sat in the back of the church and watched out for everyone. He threw a guy out of the church once when the guy started preaching to us how we were all going to hell. I have trauma around that and was going to leave, but he took care of it. I know he is a veteran and a cop and carries a gun. I never realized how safe it made me feel just having him there. I heard someone say he was the one who got the panic buttons and started our food pantry. And I use it sometimes. He does a beautiful service for Memorial Day. He doesn't show up anymore. It seems like most of the pagans don't show up anymore. There's a few, but not many. And she cries about there not being enough volunteers but with the pagans not around anymore there won't be. They did a lot.

I know there are things that I don't know. I know that some of this is just me guessing what is happening. I know there are things that probably happened that I don't know about. But all I is see her attacking people and screaming at people and being abusive. I see her making up things and lying and screaming about it to get attention. I never see any of the pagans doing any of that. Most of them don't even seem to want to be noticed for anything they do. She seems to want to create problems just to be noticed. I didn't even get most of this from the pagans. Some of it is on her own Facebook page when you read between the lines. I see good people who look out for us and do so much for the community leaving and her staying. And no one is doing anything about it. Our last president was a good guy but didn't do anything about her. The current president isn't around much and doesn't seem to care. I think because he's not around much he doesn't see any of her abuse. He seems kind of spineless and clueless. I want the board member who resigned back. I want the leader of the pagan group back. I feel safe with the pagans. I don't feel safe with her at all. And no one I asked does either. And the current church leadership isn't doing anything about it.

I admit I don't want to become another one of her victims, so I am not using my real profile. She will probably accuse one of the pagans for posting this and I don't want them to be attacked either. But something needs to be done about her. I've already written to the board and told them about this, but it still keeps happening. No one else seems to want to speak up and I know they all see it. I don't want to just leave the church but I don't know if I can stay in it knowing she's free to just abuse people.

Hi im very very new to UU and am trying to learn more about it. I agree with all the principles but the 7th, because I have know idea what it means...please help.

Hi! I'm not officially a member of UU but thought this could be a helpful community.

My fiancée and I are planning our wedding and I am looking for guidance so our friend/officiant can help us have a hand fasting ceremony that feels sacred but not "religious."

I am a (very very) lapsed/former Catholic who is no longer Christian but likes ritual and tradition. she did not grow up religious but is personally spiritual with an interest in some things pagan-adjacent. I would say that we are both spiritual in that we hold certain humanist-type views and find spiritual meaning and divinity in nature, human connection, tradition/ritual, and love.

Most "secular"/non religious ceremony scripts that I see are lacking in the sacredness I associate with weddings, and so many seem like genaric statements for people who avoid spiritual thinking all together. (Sometimes when I see peolle officiating their friends weddings, it sounds more like what you'd hear in a best man toast than at the altar)

I personally see a wedding as a deeply important ritual which is fundamentally changing both of our lives (outwardly and internally) and I am hoping to find some words/blessings that reflect that.

Like, how do I make this feel "holy" and/or incorporate "blessings" without mentions of a specific god? To incorporate things about the divine nature of love and unity and creating a new family?

Can anyone suggest some resources, blessings, scripts, etc?

Journey, not the destination

Each and every one in our church intergenerational community

The natural world, of which we are all but a tiny part

People's generosity

Individual search for meaning

Good actions that advance Justice and Equity

To those who regularly attend UU services, a lot of this will sound familiar. I just wish to share my experience and also post it here for anyone considering.

I was raised southern Baptist spent years as an agnostic trying out different things like Wicca and Shintoism while I lived abroad, but feel most "at home" in some flavor of Abrahamism and converted to Islam a little over a year ago. I still consider myself a Muslim/Quranist, if not for the simple fact that it's a religious book that resonates greatly with me. People ask how do I reconcile my queer identity with having faith and I answer, "Just fine" because I do believe it is the people who take faith-based words and twist them to justify horrible things. But because of that it's obviously difficult to actually worship in community. Outside of sightseeing in foreign countries and a recent funeral, I haven't stepped foot in a church in nearly two decades. I've never stepped foot in a mosque, I'll just watch Friday prayers online. That changed a couple of weeks ago.

Months ago I searched for "lgbt congregation" or something similar and one of the first things that came up was Unitarian Universalism. I was shocked at the open mentions about LGBT acceptance and POC involvement on the website. Even with this, I put off going to my local branch (literally 10 minute drive away) for months. I was just too afraid that it might all be a lie, or lip service. Then I saw that they were having a TDOR service, and I took that as a sign to go. I'm so glad I did.

I've been going through a lot personally lately, a lot mentally. While I am of course working on my mental health medically, I feel the need for spiritual work as well. This was a healing experience. It felt familiar, but different. All the fixtures of a church were there, but this felt more welcoming. Going into the Christian church that the UU rents out, I was greeted with light filtering through rainbow curtains. There was a Pride Progress flag draped across a wooden wall hanging of a dove. (I was told later that these were there all the time, and that the Christian pastor who had arrived about five years prior had put them up.) I was greeted with a smile, a hello, an "assalamu alaikum" and offered to sign up for the newsletter and a to put my name and pronouns on a nametag. I noticed that recurring members had permanent nametags, all with names and pronouns on them.

The service started off with a native land acknowledgment, a prayer for transgender people who have lost their lives, a hymn, a sermon about how binaries lock us into viewing the world as "us vs. them" and how it lends to a cycle of hate and violence, testimonials from the congregation about their own trans relatives and how it helped them change how they see the world as well as their fears for their safety, a memorial reading of names (many from my area but also some famous cases from this year as well), money collection, another hymn, and finally a prayer for the hope of freedom of gender roles and expressions for all people including children, as well as safety, security, and community.

Not once was God or any particular entity mentioned. There was no talk of sin and punishment, only love, community, and striving for understanding and togetherness. Prayer was referred to as "prayer, meditation, or intentional reflection". I could tell the congregation were from multifaith backgrounds, some seemingly not necessarily believing in a particular being at all. There was just this shared idea that we are all in this universe together, so let's commune and try to set our spirits right to fight for what's right.

I was nearly brought to tears. Before and after the service so many people came up to talk to me. I'm young but clearly not a student at the local university and the majority of the congregation is 55+. People wanted to know how I even found out about the place and hear my story. I felt seen, I felt heard, I felt respected. I plan on going back.

And I have! The Thanksgiving sermon was a great message about service/self sacrifice, knowing yourself, and setting healthy boundaries. And since the congregations minister is a musician, it was a very musical sermon as well, which I was told happens the last Sunday of every month!

I imagine that of course every UU congregation is different. I'm just very glad I gave myself to chance to experience one.

How misunderstanding fuels polarization

by David Cycleback

Polling and studies, including by the University of Pennsylvania and Penn State University, reveal that political polarization in the United States extends beyond growing animosity—it is also fueled by widespread misunderstanding. Many Democrats and Republicans struggle to understand the perspectives, motivations, and reasoning of those on the opposite side.

Among Republicans, only one in four believes that most Democrats sincerely vote in the country’s best interests. Instead, they often attribute Democratic motivations to selfishness or manipulation, citing reasons like being "brainwashed by the mainstream media" and seeking "undeserved welfare and food stamps." A Republican voter from Florida described Democrats as wanting "cradle-to-grave assistance. In other words, Mommy!" About one in six Republicans claim Democrats vote for “free” benefits like healthcare, college, and welfare, though no Democrats polled described their motivations in such terms.

Democrats often hold similarly skewed views about Republicans, attributing their voting behavior to misinformation or selfishness. Republicans are frequently described as “VERY ill-informed,” voting because “Fox News told me to,” or being influenced by “what the right-wing media is feeding them.” Democrats also perceive Republicans as motivated by selfishness, claiming they think, “I’ve got mine, and I don’t want the libs to take it away.” Some Democrats describe Republican motivations as stemming from racism or authoritarianism, with statements describing Republican motivations as “I’m a racist, I hate non-whites,” and “I like a dictatorial system of government.”

This divide makes empathy and understanding difficult. A 77-year-old Republican woman admitted, “I cannot even wrap my mind around any reason they [Democrats] would be good for this country.” Similarly, a 33-year-old Democrat from California struggled to identify Republican motivations, speculating it might be about “moral values” or “protecting jobs from immigrants.”

Research from the McCourtney Institute for Democracy highlights a significant perception gap—the disparity between what partisans believe about their opponents and reality. For examples, both sides vastly overestimate the number of extreme members in the other party, Democrats vastly overestimate how many Republicans deny the existence of racism (most Republicans acknowledge it exists), while Republicans overestimate how many Democrats want a socialist country. Both sides underestimate the diversity of opinions within opposing parties.

The politically extreme—devout conservatives and progressive activists—exhibit the greatest distortions. By contrast, those in the middle and politically disengaged have more accurate perceptions of their opponents.

Frequent political news consumers tend to have larger perception gaps than those who follow the news occasionally, particularly when relying on partisan outlets.

Higher education also plays a role, especially among Democrats. Democrats with postgraduate degrees often have a more distorted view of Republicans than Democrats with less formal education. Republicans’ perceptions, by contrast, remain largely consistent regardless of education level, likely because universities are predominantly liberal leaning.

As Johns Hopkins University political science professor Yascha Mounk writes:

“Perhaps because institutions of higher learning tend to be dominated by liberals, Republicans who have gone to college are not more likely to caricature their ideological adversaries than those who dropped out of high school. But among Democrats, education seems to make the problem much worse... It is deeply worrying that Americans now have so little understanding of their political adversaries. It is downright disturbing that the very institutions that ought to help us become better informed may actually be deepening our mutual incomprehension.”

Social media exacerbates the issue. While most social media users do not post about politics, those who do tend to have significantly wider perception gaps. This results in others being exposed to distorted political narratives from the most polarized voices.

The consequences of these misperceptions are profound. People with larger perception gaps are more likely to describe their opponents as “hateful,” “ignorant,” and “bigoted,” fueling hostility and creating a vicious cycle of polarization.

Despite these challenges, there is hope. More than three-quarters of Americans believe the country’s divisions are not insurmountable. Many across the party divide share common values and agree on more issues than they realize. However, false narratives about the “other side” amplify division, making the nation feel more fractured than it is.

The core issue is not merely differing opinions but profound misunderstanding. Ironically, the institutions meant to educate and inform—universities, media, and social platforms—often worsen the divide. Bridging this gap requires confronting these misperceptions and finding the common ground that unites most people.

References:

Americans not only divided, but baffled by what motivates their opponents - The McCourtney Institute for Democracy

The Perception Gap

Republicans and Democrats Don't Understand Each Other - by Prof. Yousha Monk

Democrats and Republicans vastly underestimate the diversity of each other's views

I would love to connect. Thinking about moving to the area in the next couple years…

We are a lay-led congregation. I am the worship coordinator for an upcoming service. The speaker has asked me to provide a couple of reading suggestions for her. I don't even know where to start. Her homily will focus on "Practicing Presence When You Disagree." She will refer to some Jewish sources, as well as work from Crucial Conversations, Non Violent Communication and the group Braver Angels as well as her own experience in being present with those who have a different viewpoint than her.

Where do I start? I have never picked out readings before.

When I looked up my local UU congregation on the main UU website, I was surprised that of the very few pieces of information available there, one was that the congregation is "LGBTQ Welcoming." Not affirming, just welcoming. This was tagged alongside other features that I imagine may vary by congregation - wheelchair accessibility, "honor congregation" status. I thought all UU congregations were LGBTQ welcoming, and this honestly makes me less likely to actually follow through on attending...any insight here? Which congregations are NOT welcoming, and how might one know, besides these listings?

Compare UU and Reform Synagogue Post-Election Sermons

by David Cycleback

I am Sephardic Jewish and attend both a Unitarian Universalist (UU) congregation and a reform synagogue. Reform Judaism is a liberal denomination, the largest Jewish denomination in the world, and is comparable in religious liberal philosophy to traditional Unitarian Universalism.

I was struck at the difference in the sermons at the first services following the U.S. Presidential election. One, the UU minister’s sermon, was politically partisan and overtly anti-Trump. On the other hand, the rabbi’s words were nonpolitical and warmly welcomed Jews whatever their political beliefs or votes.

Although Unitarian Universalism is theoretically non-creedal and open to a diversity of viewpoints, it has become increasingly politically narrow, with the national organization, the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), becoming politically radical and doctrinal. Many UUs, even those who are politically left and active in social justice work, have voiced concerns that they joined a church—not a political party—and feel that the national organization now resembles a political action committee more than a spiritual organization.

As I wrote in the below linked post, this trend toward political partisanship and ideological narrowness is harmful to the UU church. It closes minds and regularly transforms UU spaces into tribalistic “us versus them” echo chambers— the opposite of what a spiritual community and liberal religion should be about.

What Unitarian Universalism loses as it becomes politically narrow

After the UU minister’s partisan, anti-Trump post-election sermon, one congregant wondered aloud if such sermons could endanger the congregation’s nonprofit status.

In contrast, below were the opening words from the rabbi at the synagogue:

"Shabbat shalom. We started with those iconic words from the prophet Isaiah: “For my house shall be called a house of prayer for all people.” It's one of the opening songs we do all the time, but I think it's especially resonant and important tonight. It reminds us of something that we feel very keenly and importantly here, which is this conviction that there must be spaces where people of good conscience and character can come together after being political opponents. That we can continue to live and work and pray together.

For those of you who are disappointed or devastated at the outcome of this election, remember we are Jews. Our people have marched through millennia. We've seen leaders come and go, all the while holding on to one mandate of ‘Be a light unto others.’ So if the world feels darker to you after this election, you and your light are needed more than ever.

For those of you who are joyful and celebrating the outcome of this election, remember we are Jews. Our people have marched through millennia. We have seen leaders come and we have seen leaders go, all the while holding one mandate of ‘Be a light unto others.’ So if the world feels brighter to you after this election, you will need to continue to illuminate the world around us. And perhaps one way to start is to find a neighbor who feels themselves sitting in darkness and to try to brighten up their world in the weeks ahead.

But no matter how you feel about the election results, we're Jews and we have one task, it's been our task for thousands of years and we're going to keep on doing it."

Hello, all. First and foremost, I consider myself to be a Humanist. I believe in social justice, compassion and tolerance towards everyone. This is a conclusion I have come to ever since my deconstruction from Christianity/religion a year ago. I'm also bisexual, so this has played a part in my thought process, as I align quite a bit with LGBTQ rights and equality.

In terms of beliefs, my spectrum has been all over the place since I left my "religion." I'd consider myself somewhere in the realm of agnostic, atheist, and spiritual naturalist. The thing that resonates with me quite a bit is "Naturalistic" or Scientific Pantheism. I believe in a spiritual connection to nature. And when I say nature, I don't mean just like outdoors, lakes, birds, trees, etc, but also the natural order of things in the universe. I think everything in the universe is all interconnected. For me, this interconnection is "god," at least metaphorically speaking. This is fine for me personally. If someone believes in a literal deity god, this is also fine to me.

That said, I feel like there is so much hate everywhere. For example, I'm a member of a Pantheism group on FB. This group has strongly become pretty Anti-theist in their views. Even though I am not a fan of religion in certain senses, I still believe in tolerance and respecting others.

Even from other "Humanists," I get this feeling a lot. Particularly those with the "Secular Humanist," moniker. They speak down to others who are god believers or Christians, and even those who believe in anything supernatural or are sometimes anything other than an atheist. There was someone who spoke of how agnostics are wimpy and less because they aren't atheists. This was in a Secular Humanist group.

The amount of hate and intolerance from all sides of the spectrum is sickening to me. From Christians, atheists, god believers that aren't necessarily Christian, and anyone else. Can't we all just play nicely and get along? Ya know, some of that "Coexist" notion? I feel like my mind, despite being a "Humanist" is much more UU in philosophy, though I don't attend any kind of services or church, etc.

I feel like there should be more love and tolerance in the world, and less hate.

Hi! I have been interested in joining a religious community again. I enjoy Christianity and have read a little bit about UU but I would really like to be in a church where Jesus is believed to be God, part of the trinity you know? UU does not believe this in the doctrine right? I understand that UU is a very accepting of different beliefs but it would be hard for me to listen to sermons that teach such a big difference in beliefs. Please let me know your advice and if i should look into attending my local UU church

A friend told me I'd fit in to th UU community but, I'm lost and confused but intrigued. I believe in heaven and hell but I'm an LGBTQ ally. I HATED going to church and hearing some of my friends and family were "going to hell" for simply being who they are. But I'm also one who doesn't believe premarital sex is a sin nor is having a child out of wedlock. I am pro-choice and believe women should have control over their own bodies. I would like that go to church but not somewhere that says everything I mentioned, is a sin.

Is this really the right place for me??

I've just begun exploring Unitarian Universalism. I understand that something they adhere to is the philosophy "deeds, not creeds." So I'm wondering how that translates into action by local UU members. If I were to join my local UU congregation and wanted to start being active in it, what are some examples of things I might get involved with? What deeds might I be a part of? What are some things I would be doing to make a difference in my congregation and in my community? I'm sure that UU provides many opportunities to make the world a better place, but so far I don't know what they are.

I need to stop fearing that I could be going to hell for Not being a Muslim or a Christian.

I'll never be 100% sure of the truth even as I believe in God, whoever God is.

With that said, I should stop worrying. It's been hard for me.

Please be nice in the comments as I understand that this may sound like a silly post. But I'm sincerely looking for answers and feeling worried.

I want to get back to my life and Not waste it by worrying.

The New UUA Movement by John Stowe

Since 2017, when the Unitarian Universalist Association’s (UUA) Board declared that UUism and the Association were complicit with white supremacy culture, there has been a concerted, top-down effort to transform UUism from its historical theological foundations into a social justice, anti-racist, and anti-oppression movement. This Guest Reflection provides a perspective on the UUA’s attempt to transition the denomination from its historical foundations to what the author calls the “new UUA Movement.”

Historical Foundations

During the 1700s, empirical criticism led Congregational Calvinists to revisit their beliefs more rationally, starting with a rigorous examination of the Bible.

A new awareness of “natural philosophy” (science) influenced these early thinkers, who were proto-Unitarians and laid the foundation for the modern UU consciousness. Starting with their biblical criticism, they proposed a progressive evolution that developed a carefully crafted religion. These first non-doctrinal Congregationalists later became known as Unitarians. The term was intended as a pejorative for those questioning Christian dogma. Universalists traveled a similar path through their Calvinistic Baptist traditions. These proto-liberals could be considered the first to be declared “out of covenant.”

Once the free and responsible search for truth was initiated, it was unstoppable. Our UU forebears developed faith systems ranging from Semi-Arianism (Jesus is not divine) in the 1700s to Christian Humanism and Universal Salvation in the early 1800s, the Transcendentalism of Emerson and Thoreau, and late 19th—and early 20th-century Pragmatics and Objective Ideology. Each exploration was a natural development from the one before.

There was much disagreement. Yet, for all the dissension, “wrong” turns, and occasional backsliding, the net result was a decent, realistic attempt to reconcile our highest aspirations with the empirical knowledge of the day (science, technology, aesthetics, experience). Where orthodoxy remained frozen in dogma, liberals achieved a symbiotic relationship with expanding knowledge—something no other “organized” religious tradition can claim on a consistent historical basis.

Cluttered Spiritual Palate

In the latter half of the 20th century, liberal Protestant contributions to religious thought faltered. Thought leaders such as Reinhold Niebuhr, Paul Tillich, and our own James Luther Adams (Unitarian) and Clarence Skinner (Universalist) were still highly respected. Yet the cumulative effect of waves of radical skepticism nurtured by postmodernism began to make us all uncomfortable with religion itself, perhaps seeing it as an irrelevant relic.

Our own UU religious humanism gradually morphed into a “secular humanism with some religious trappings” that has kept us comfortable for far too long.

I grew up in a church forever hearing that UUs were “too intellectual.” Yet, for all our collective power, we haven’t contributed anything intellectually respectable to religion for more than a half-century.

In the 1970s, humanism was under attack and was seen as lacking the substance to deal with “real life” problems. Spiritually hungry UUs began to appropriate tasty bits from other traditions in the vacuum. As we claimed more sources for inspiration, these acquisitions were rationalized to indicate our religious “sophistication.” Our spiritual palate was becoming ever more cluttered. A little new age here, a bit of liberation there, a dash of Buddhism, a touch of spiritualism, add a bunch of social awareness. Mix it all up; throw it in the oven. Heat until half-baked.

The hard truth is we have borrowed far too much, far too freely, and created far too little. As a result, there has been a hole in the center of UUism for decades.

Ripe for Takeover

The new UUA Movement, promulgated by the UUA, filled this vacuum. The 2017 declaration to decenter “white supremacy culture” had an appeal in its uncluttered singularity. The Commission of Institutional Change (COIC) and its 2020 report, Widening the Circle of Concern, gave the decentering campaign a feel of thoughtful legitimacy. The June 2024 passage of the new Article II language intentionally severed our connection to our past. The new UUA Movement required this severance since our past was deemed to be the source of our alleged white supremacy tendencies.

The new Article II language expressly rejects the liberal-humanist foundations as racist. Thought leaders need not apply. We now have a “top-down” creedal approach based on a proscribed form of social action.

Welcome to the new UUA Movement.

The New UUA Movement

Beloved Community

Our current UUA leadership proclaims that a “beloved community” characterized by “liberating love” is the existential centerpiece of its new UUA Movement. But what does the new UAA movement say these terms mean?

Let’s start with the concept of “beloved community.” That concept has authentic meaning in the work of the American philosopher Josiah Royce (1855–1916), who originated the concept. He was building on an array of Enlightenment philosophers, such as Emmanuel Kant, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, John Locke, David Hume, and Baruch Spinoza. While none of these philosophers explicitly discussed a “beloved community,” their contributions provide ethical foundations for a society based on love, respect, justice, and mutual care. Royce envisioned the “beloved community” as an ideal society rooted in mutual care, understanding, and moral harmony, where people work collaboratively for the common good, transcending individual self-interest.

Royce worked during a period of remarkable UU-inspired thinking. He stressed the fundamental importance of community as well as individual consciousness. He believed the relationship between individuals and groups creates deeply improved thinking and social quality. Royce explains how loyal truth-seekers can act as a transcendent moral source and witness.

As interpreted by the Bylaws Renewal team, created in June 2022 to “reimagine” the UUA through a complete rewrite of the Association’s bylaws, the concept is perverted to make “beloved community” exist over and against the problem of individualism, which emphasizes the idea that each person should have the freedom to make their own choices, pursue their own goals, and develop their unique identity, often placing personal success and fulfillment above collective goals or societal norms.

In the effort to bring about the Beloved Community, we often err on the side of the individual as the primary agent of change over and against systemic change.

This perversion of the beloved community is repeated throughout the COIC report. It utterly fails to appreciate Royce’s work and contradicts the original meaning of the beloved community. There is little evidence that the new UUA movement knows the origin of the concept they’ve appropriated or can appreciate its philosophical pedigree and meaning.

Liberating Love

In the Article II revision, the new UUA movement defines “liberating love” as a dynamic, action-oriented principle that promotes social justice through equitable relationships and the healing of historic injustices.

Though James Luther Adams (1901–1994) never used the phrase “liberating love,” there is abundant evidence the new UUA’s use of that phrase is deeply indebted to this prominent Unitarian theologian. His theological work emphasizes the transformative power of love within communities, fostering a more just and compassionate society. Adams aligns closely with the concept of love as a liberating force. However, no evidence exists that the new UUA Movement acknowledged its debt to Adams for originating the concept.

The Values of the UUA Bylaws Renewal Team

• Interdependence over individualism
• Ending the centering of white culture
• Trusting leadership over fear of authority
• Freedom to act over risk avoidance
• Strategy, objectives, and plans over monitoring and oversight
• Clarity and simplicity over complexity
• Decisions located organizationally based on importance to mission

Let’s examine just three of these values.

“Interdependence over Individualism”

Let’s be clear: “Interdependence over Individualism” is a false choice. UUs do not subscribe to individualism. They value individuality and personal conscience, not individualism. Individualism is the idea that an individual’s wants and values are more important than collective needs and that organizations exist solely for the benefits they provide to their members.

UUs believe all persons’ ideas, cultures, capabilities, and experiences are essential to forming a good society and, when taken at their best, result in a collective far greater than the sum of its parts. Our Seventh Principle stresses this “deep consciousness of community” in the phrase respect for the interdependent web of all existence. Thus, interdependence and individuality are inextricably linked, and our 1st Principle, which honors the “inherent worth” of individuals, is an absolute necessity for healthful interdependence. Royce would agree.

Ending of White Culture

UUA leadership has used the term “white culture” as a proxy for Enlightenment values. The legacy values of the Enlightenment are the foundation of Western culture—a legacy of a community constituted by liberty and democracy, equality and social justice, individual rights, and reason. The UUA logic is simple: White men conceived of such ideas; ergo, they are racist ideas.

An irony of the new UUA Movement is that it centers on the beloved community as an existential centerpiece in its campaign to fight racism. That is, Royce’s “beloved community” is itself a product of those same white culture/Enlightenment characteristics of logic-based and closely reasoned processes that UUA leadership now so roundly decries must be decentered!

Remember, too, that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., a Black man, incorporated Royce’s “beloved community” concept into his 1960s Civil Rights movement to provide an image of a future, more harmonious multi-racial society. Does the UUA now demand that the Civil Rights Movement and King himself be decentered and declared invalid?

These contradictions beg the question, “Is UUA leadership aware of these glaring contradictions? If they are, then they are morally dishonest. If not, then they are intellectually incompetent.

The same criticism of dishonesty or incompetency leveled at the use of “beloved community” can also be leveled at the new UUA Movement’s appropriation of James Luther Adams. He was a straight white male. Should Adams and his theology be decentered and now declared invalid?

Instead of the obsession with “end the centering white culture,” why not contextualize Euro-centric and American culture so that the best of its informing values, shorn of the discredited “scientific racism” and eugenics, can be used productively toward the goal they have always had—social and racial justice?

Trusting Leadership over Fear of Authority

By “trusting leadership over fear of authority,” the new UUA Movement intends to shift moral and spiritual leadership away from individuals and congregations to the UUA national leadership. Effectively, “liberating love” is a coded attempt to obtain unearned authority and unaccountable control. Add the requirement for personal confessions of privilege—guilt and the demand for unquestioned acceptance of the new UUA Movement, and you get the loss of democratic governance and the imposition of authoritarian top-down control.

Despite the rather blatant attempt to restructure power away from individuals and congregations, UUA leadership continues to insist it operates under a democratic mandate from the General Assembly election process. It does not.

It is ironic that the Bylaws Renewal Team even quotes from the UUA’s 2009 Fifth Principle Task Force Report, which advocated for strengthening democracy at the UUA’s yearly General Assembly. The General Assembly is not democratic, and delegates are neither representatives of their congregations (other than being members) nor accountable to them.

After three attempts by individuals through the petition process to be genuinely elected to the UUA Board of Trustees, that body now contains only appointed trustees. General Assembly remains as broken today as it was in 2009.

“Trusting leadership over fear of authority” is just a mechanism to gain power without scrutiny or accountability.

The Theological Wasteland of the New UUA Movement

Where is the transcendence, humility, or devotion in the new UUA Movement writings?

While I have seen the word “humility” occasionally used, the authors of the new UUA Movement are 100% self-righteously assured of the rectitude of their beliefs. The UUA offers one and only one valid path to social justice, with its “beloved community” and “liberating love.” All UUs must follow this path exclusively. Questioning or disagreeing will result in censure or worse.

The new UUA Movement offers no foundation comparable to our religious Unitarian and Universalist heritages. Unitarianism and Universalism emerged from a long progression of thoughtful consideration of scripture, philosophy, science, and aesthetics. There is simply no way that a constructive theology can be developed in our modern era without using the best work that the Western religious, intellectual, aesthetic, and scientific traditions have produced.

Instead, the new UUA approach is simplistic. It is based on crude generalizations, replacing nuanced thought with a checklist of proscribed “either-or” positions.

The fact that the new UUA Movement beliefs fall on the left side of the social/political spectrum—or, better said, the “far left”—does not remove the permanent stain of illiberality.

A theology of “liberating love” has been assembled from cherry-picked bits of post-modern standpoint theory, liberation theology, and critical race theory, with a pretense of intellectual heft attempted by a whisper of Josiah Royce and lip service to the work of James Luther Adams. Royce and Adams have real potential value, but our UU leadership has failed to do the hard work of developing a coherent narrative.

By itself, “love” is not a theology, “liberating” or not, nor is a pretty picture of a flower with values petals. The preoccupation with reordering power structures is disturbing, and no amount of quasi-theological gloss can cover its true intent.

The extreme emphasis on power dynamics between groups in the “theology” of the new UUA movement and the rigid hierarchy of righteousness (based on the marginalization of race, heritage, class, or ability) are, for want of a better term, “neo-Calvinistic.” We have effectively been returned to the same power structures that Unitarians and Universalists fled in the 1700s.

"Religion is the vision of something that stands beyond, behind, and within the passing flux of immediate things; something that is real and yet waiting to be realized; something that is a remote possibility and yet the greatest of present facts; something that gives meaning to all that passes, and yet eludes apprehension; something whose possession is the final good, and yet is beyond all reach; something which is the ultimate ideal, and the hopeless quest. " (A. N. Whitehead)

This will sound strange but yesterday, after a Muslim on Reddit prayed for me, I began to have faith that Allah is God and that there's only one aspect to God, not a trinity.

On the other hand, I've believed in Jesus for years and my prayers directed to Jesus have been answered.

With this said, my faith has been directed in two different areas at different times and I'm not sure how this is possible.

I hope that God will guide me to whichever religion I'm supposed to be a part of. I'm awaiting an answer from God to guide me to whichever religion I'm meant to be a part of.

I'm just wondering what people think about these two different answers to prayer happening from two different impressions of God.

So I know that comes off negative. I really resonate with the ideals of UU, but my local UU feels sooooo pretentious ever time I go. It's like they try sooo hard to be PC that there is no real message other than "be pc" I'm asking this question, because I live in a very affluent and educated town. So, I'm wondering if the prevention comes from that or the UU itself??? I appreciate your help, I'm looking for my place, but though I want this to be it,it doesn't feel right. Thx