Hopefully this post will be welcome here. Please be kind, as I'm genuinely searching for what feels right/authentic to me, spiritually.

I grew up in an extremely conservative, devout Catholic home, and have followed Church teaching to the T throughout my life, but only recently have discovered how much trauma I have as a result of this upbringing. Essentially, I had very controlling parents, and was raised within very controlling religious parameters. I was raised -- at least on a subconscious level -- to believe that love is something that is earned by being "good" and following the rules, rather than as something that is freely given. I learned that if I clung to my devout Catholic identity and conservative beliefs, I would be accepted and loved by not only my parents, but by God. Any deviation from this meant rejection by the family unit at best, and eternal damnation at worst.

I'm currently at a point where, after 30 years of sacrificing my own personal beliefs and desires to comply with not only my family's expectations, but Church teaching, I can simply no longer do it. I still go to Mass every week, but I have a million questions about many of the doctrines we're told we MUST believe and follow, otherwise we risk hell.

That doesn't feel like a loving God. That doesn't feel like a merciful God. How are we supposed to believe that God is perfect love if he rejects us for things like using contraception, struggling with sexuality, or any other number of areas that don't perfectly align with Church teaching?

All of that said, I've found myself increasingly drawn to UU in a way I never thought I would be to any other spiritual group. Actually (don't laugh), my interest stems from a close alignment with American Transcendentalism, which no longer exists but seems to continue on in UU. Your 7 principles are beautiful to me -- they feel like the polar opposite of the trauma and spiritual abuse I've endured growing up, and I'm encouraged by your church's openness to everyone, not just those who fit a particular worldview or abide by a specific set of doctrines.

At my core, I think I will always love God (Jesus, in particular) in a way that renders me incapable of fully detaching from the beliefs with which I was raised, but I want to start living in a way that feels more true to who I am and what I want, rather than who I'm told to be and what I'm told to believe.

Be straight with me: do you believe some version of Catholicism and UU can coexist? Or are the two just so incompatible that one must choose one or the other in selecting a spirituality?