I had to make a very difficult decision last week that has ended in sincere regret. This is something i cannot take back. i am riddled with grief and sadness and need strength. I truly thought i was making the right choice but now i see that i only did it out of fear. I have not been able to get this out of my head and hate myself so much. Please i am begging, i need prayers, i need forgiveness and healing.

My wife and I are planning on a relocation to Minnesota from Atlanta. We are UU’s and have a family with 3 little humans. We haven’t decided where just yet. Likely around the Minneapolis/St Paul area. Any recommendations on congregations with an active community in the area?

Background: I have been an agnostic for as long as long as I can remember. Growing up I would constantly see people around me self ascribed as religious be just as mean or cruel as anyone else. I saw mega churches reinvesting their wealth into themselves and leadership, and a total lack of community outreach that went past gaining more members. I was always interested in religion but throughout the years I saw that is was being used primarily a tool being used to manipulate. As far as i could tell this was against the teachings of any of these religions.
^{I realize these people do not represent all people of religion, I have met far too many people who uphold the positive teachings of their religion to believe that.}

All of this to say I really enjoy the ideals of UU, they align to a T with what I believe, but I have been having trouble convincing myself to attend a service. I think due to my past, and years of seeing the dangers of religion, attending something that resembles these same service fills me with dread. I am so concerned that the feel of a service is just going to make me horribly uncomfortable, in the same way I feel uncomfortable during the ceremony's of funerals and weddings. However at the same time I feel like I have a hole in my life where community is supposed to go.

Does anyone have any advice? Maybe there is a way to be apart of UU that is not an actual service, but a social thing?

From high school up until my mid-20s, I had typical atheist beliefs on life after death. At the time, I was able to be calm with the prospect of nonexistence and believed it was fair, since I was thinking mostly of myself, my friends, and people in the modern developed world, who usually live long and fulfilled lives and are ready to rest afterwards.

However, the concept of everyone getting nonexistence has felt more and more unfair to me the past several years as I’ve learned more about the history of the world.

All kinds of societies have practiced human sacrifice. Which would mean the victims would go: short and usually painful life —> extremely painful death —> permanent nonexistence. Is that fair? Where do they get to cash in or get pleasure? Nowhere.

My faithlessness has also been tested by movie characters such as Trevor in Pay It Forward. Was it fair for him (or a real-life person like him) to get nonexistence after 15 years, a good contribution to philanthropy, and almost no rewards? Absolutely not in my opinion.

My mind is having trouble sitting still on this anymore, and I’m considering officially becoming a Unitarian Universalist because of their doctrine that everyone can get to success.

I still don’t believe in a literal fluffy-cloud heaven, but I do think there are physics-based ways in which living again is possible, e.g., the Poincaré recurrence theorem or spontaneous quantum decreases in entropy. Heaven, in my mind, is nothing more than someone who got dealt a bad hand being given a chance to try again.

This in mind, do you guys think UU is a good choice for me? Do these beliefs jive with those that are followed by UUs?

I’m also a gay man and appreciate the “kindness and volunteering” aspects of religion and spirituality but not usually the “moral code” ones, and I know UU heavily emphasizes the former.

Stay strong against all the craziness ahead.

- AM702

Las Vegas, NV, USA

The teacher who urges doctrines subversive to existing authority does not, if he is a liberal, advocate the establishment of a new authority even more tyrannical than the old. He advocates certain limits to the exercise of authority, and he wishes these limits to be observed not only when the authority would support a creed with which he disagrees but also when it would support one with which he is in complete agreement. I am, for my part, a believer in democracy, but I do not like a regime which makes belief in democracy compulsory.

https://www.openculture.com/2024/11/bertrand-russells-10-commandments-for-living-in-a-healthy-democracy.html

r/Paganism

Hi im currently a Christian and im having dount in faith I mean today I accepted Jesus for the fidth time But I dont know anymore and Im scared everyone will judhe Me and ill go to hell but please someone help me, :C

I moved to New England from the deep south not long ago. I hadn't given Unitarians any thought, largely because it's not really a thing where I'm from and I've only heard of it in passing a handful of times. But I saw some social media posts from a local church since the election that have me curious. Largely because as an AFAB trans person who is mixed I am so angry right now, but want to... walk the line? Of feeling anger and turning that into motivation without letting it consume me.

I considered going to their service today, but ultimately chickened out. I was raised roman catholic, went to catholic school, church twice a week, the whole shebang and am wary to say the least about religion and especially organized religion. So I guess I'm asking for people's experience on joining, good and bad. And of course, anyone who was raised in a similar religious environment I am particularly interested to hear your thoughts. And what made you decide to check it out to begin with.

I have been considering making UU my spiritual home for a little while now, but have had some hesitations because there aren’t many younger people in the fellowship near me. I’m 32 (childless) and was hoping to meet people at a similar stage of life. Today’s service totally shifted my perspective. The message centered around the disappointment, sorrow, and fear we are experiencing post election, and I have never felt so safe and seen in a room full of elderly people. (I recognize this is my own bias due to being raised in a Republican family.) I am so enamored with UU’s commitment to inclusion and seeking justice for marginalized communities.

So while I’ve decided to join the fellowship, I’m also wondering, are there other UUs of my demographic? If so, I would love to connect with some of you all!

EDIT: Thank you all for your responses! It’s nice to know I’m not alone!

Ive grown up in the UU church and had more time this last summer to go to a few services and i heard that something like at least 40% of our congregation is athiest (including me!). I was wondering how UU reddit skews on this scale? I like the idea of just having community and being with the youth i grew up with there and hanging out with them we have said it doesnt feel like it should have to be called church at this point 😅

By that I mean a person who believes the Bible ( or the Protestant canon of Scripture) is infallible and that its beliefs or commands should be enforced on every one else.

I am interested to see if the “Biblical Unitarian” has been gaining some stronghold in UU congregations. I want to know if a trend towards social conservatism is also affecting the most liberal denomination of the Christian tradition ( notice I don’t say Christian denomination, since upon the merger of Unitarians and Universalists agreed on founding an universalistic and open-minded institution, open to all theistic and atheistic strands of thought that recognize the intrinsic worth of humankind)

"How Deep is Your Love" sermon (Youtube)

Relevant to the previous thread, here is a sermon by Rev. Randy Lewis of All Souls Unitarian in Tulsa OK about a UU minister who voted for Trump.

How are other UU congregations responding to the election? We had an ingathering Wednesday night where we shared our concerns, sang songs and did readings. The minister is also giving a sermon tomorrow about the state of the country.

It can be anything from sermons, statements, forums, special services, education....

I'm a long-time member of the UU Church of Medford MA - known for such luminaries as Lydia Maria Child - author, abolitionist, women’s rights advocate, and Indian policy reformer; abolitionist George Luther Stearns, one of the “Secret Six” who funded John Brown in his militant opposition to slavery, and Reverend Eugene Adams, who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in Selma.

I watched the election results in the First Parish Church in Concord MA - where once gathered the MA Provincial Congress, calling for Revolution.

My Fellow UUs, enough with the Peace & Love stuff. It's time again to GET ANGRY, and GET ACTIVE.

At this point whoever supports that felon supports sexism, racism, LGBTQIA+ phobia, anti-climate activities etc.-all of which are clearly against UU values. There's a clear difference in morality hence these folks shouldn't be allowed in UU. Many people from marginal communities are UU members and they aren't safe around those "anti-human rights activists".

I was told a very small minority of UUs voted for Trump, and I am really curious why? Trump and what he represents is so antithetical to our UU principles and values, I'm just so curious how someone can both be UU and support Trump.

So I am considering going to my first Unitarian church meeting. Went to one mindfulness group where we discussed some Buddhist literature and philosophies and found the speaker of the group to be heavily consumed with his own personal beliefs and feelings about coming to the present moment. My curiosity in the UU movement as a whole is based on the incorporation of many faiths and appreciation for the wide diversity of faiths throughout the world. Regular attendees: have you found that ministers generally reference or allude to symbology and/or metaphorical concepts present in many faiths during worship sermons? I’d like for my weekly attendance to be a place where I could grow in my understanding of the worlds religions/cultures as well as a place to connect with a spiritually inclined body of people.

Hi, hope you are all doing well. Heres the basics of what i believe and hopefully someone here can tell me if it sounds similar to something they have heard of.

I believe the bible to be a book of wisdom written by people through stories that was passdd on. Like the first self help book. A very usefull guide.

I dont believe there is an actual god and his son and their spirit looking over us. I dont believe there to be an after life in hell or heaven. But rather the collection of choices you make in daily life leads you to existing in a state of heaven or hell.

Thanks in advance and i apologise if i offend anyone!

https://wagingnonviolence.org/2024/11/10-things-to-do-if-trump-wins/

https://wagingnonviolence.org/2024/11/10-things-to-do-if-trump-wins/

I'm a 22M law student who grew up UU as a kid. To be honest I hated going to church as a kid and have been an atheist all of my life. I haven't been to church in well over a decade. But looking back I've realized how many of the values that I hold important come from what I was taught growing up unitarian. I felt the compulsion to rejoin the community in light of the recent election disaster. I feel like I'm missing the sense of community and having people to talk to for moral guidance. Especially being in the first year of law school, the communities I'm in right now are severely lacking compassion and morality.

Any advice of how to get involved besides just going on Sundays? I will try to go a Sunday I have free, but I don't have much free time as a law student.

Philosophically I have felt aligned with UU values for most of my life. But I only started attending my local congregation a couple months ago. It checks many boxes for me: extremely warm and welcoming, full of the misfits and outcasts, generally liberal, doing work in the community, lots of small groups, doesn’t tell anyone what to believe.

However, I am a lover of faith, a nerd about faith, I love listening to religious podcasts by people of all sorts of religions and I can tell when people “get it”. I can frame my religious discussion using the terms of many systems and find the different perspectives nourishing.

The lovely UU minister gives nice messages, but much of the discussion is around the fact that we all have Big Questions. What I want to hear about are what people around me feel are their answers.

I want to know what you believe, what gives you life, what nourishes you. I thought a church would have more of this kind of discussion. It feels like everyone wants to skirt around being too concrete or personal about spiritual matters to avoid offending anyone.

Tell me your experience as a UU member. Do you feel like there is space for this in your general congregation or is this a small group thing only? I know you can’t speak for other congregations, but I’m curious what individuals here perceive to be the etiquette and vibe of their own congregation’s UU culture.

So, the reason I initially joined the UU is because I was getting tired of constant political media's cynicism.

I am a Progressive and vote every election and I doubt that will ever change, but I have had some tough feelings regarding politics. I feel I was almost forced from a young age to pay attention to politics more than a person should because my family insisted on always playing "SNL" or various political pundits around me (though maybe that is normal, IDK). I used to very much emphasize Christianity also as part of my personality but I eventually became frustrated with my overly-evangelical church the LCMS (I know being from a Progressive but also LCMS family is a strange combination). I think I tried to fill the hole that left in me yearning for community with the political movement of Communism, which though I am not exactly Capitalism's #1 fan, this at the very least wasn't a healthy reason to join them. I eventually however began actively avoiding politics when I started noticing contradictions. For instance, take the fact that many online communist activists (not all) will say that "The world is always getting worse" when Marx had the largely optimistic view that the world is getting better, or fantasizing about a glorious and Bloody Communist Revolutionary War when again Marx viewed a generally peaceful transition of power. In the past I had sorta thought that we were correct because we were the good guys, but I ended up realizing people aren't that simple. I used to watch News daily because I felt I had to know what was going on, but after a while I realized pundits are actually the worst activists. Turns out the best activists are those who AREN'T miserable and fearful 24/7, who would've guessed? While I admit it is a little ironic that I quote Nietzche in a post complaining about cynicism (something which he was known for) I do think it is relevant that he said something about how Daily News Media makes you focus on small irrelevant details always scared of some event that never ends up happening, and makes you stupider in the long run and it takes your focus away from the larger historical cultural shifts or perhaps even more importantly takes away focus from the family and friends around you.

This frustration of contradictions in Media continues to happen during this election. For instance, it frustrates me that before the election if I said to someone "OK so Trump has a 50/50 chance of winning, so whats our Plan B if he wins" cuz to me not having a plan B seemed irrational, yet they would always just say "There is no Plan B because if Trump wins the world ends". Now they talk much more softly about Trump and don't want to talk about all the things they said he would do. This drives me crazy as I don't know whether to believe the first thing they said (the overly cynical view) or the last (the overly positive view). It reminds me of how Evangelical Christians will make a highly exxagerated image of hell and the endtimes not because the Bible actually teaches it, but because its a useful recruiting tactics and to them the anxiety it causes people is a necessary evil. Or the fact that many of those communist pundits mentioned above said that Harris was a worse candidate than Biden & Clinton, when they got upset at Biden said she was a great candidate and was basically guaranteed to win, and then went back to saying she is a terrible candidate after she lost. Or that depending on the month Biden having dementia was either a matter of fact liberals won't address, or a Conservative lie. All while smugly saying how "Oh if only people listened to ME none of this would have happened" never admitting that they were wrong.

Now, I must confess a way in which I was wrong. I was very big on a political prediction system called "Allan Lichtman's 13 keys" and was extraordinarily confident in saying Harris would win. Well, wouldn't you know it, for the first time ever this election Lichtman's keys were wrong. Now I feel like my family will never believe anything I say ever again, and frankly I am having an existential crisis right now of my own, wondering if anything I ever believed ever was true, if my life and the work I have done has had any point at all, as though the foundations of my knowledge were built on sand that just broke down. Though again I feel like when I would say "I'd rather not talk about politics" right now they wouldn't respect my wishes and that probably did not help, I don't know how but I'm going to have to explain to them that they really do need to stop talking about politics to me, not that the issues aren't important but I feel like it is truly draining my enjoyment of life away.

Despite my self-doubts, I would like to believe that America will survive. The reason I post this here is because the UU and the climate activists (a.k.a. the people who are actually doing work instead of just talking about how miserable things are) are the most optimistic about the future. And even if America were to become a dictatorship that's certainly unfortunate for its citizens, but we Americans tend to forget despite our power (which largely comes from being taken seriously by other countries) we are just 1% of the world population. What I enjoyed about the UU is that it kept those Progressive ideals but removed the needless cynicism always present among pundits. It is important to remember that literally every period of history people thought that they lived in the worst of times and the world was coming to an end. And even if worst comes to worst and the world truly ends, then at least let me spend my last moments happy and not constantly scrolling clickbait videos about how "The World is Ending".

Anyway, forgive me if this was long and overly personal, I am having trouble wrestling with my own thoughts if you can't tell and this sub just seemed saner than most, but please feel more than free to tell me where I'm wrong.

I very recently moved to Pittsburgh (alone and am trying to get a read on local churches.

UU’s are so welcoming that it I had no worries about trying out churches, meeting people, etc. Unfortunately the first minister I reached out to was not welcoming on multiple levels.

I don’t want to be gossipy but I do want to explain why I’m on edge about all this. The minister with whom I corresponded refused to see if anyone in her congregation would meet for coffee, saying that UUs were introverted. She said that unless I attend services in person then she wouldn’t think I am ready to receive community.

FWIW, my hesitation to attend services is based on not having transportation, being immunocompromised, and living with chronic severe pain.

I won’t go into the rest; I just wanted to explain my cold feet and see if any ministers here have more empathy.

Feel free to PM me if you have anything you don’t want to share publicly.

Harris hasn't resigned. The numbers are super close in a lot of places. Not everything has been counted out and finalized. There is still room for hope.

I know my hope might be dashed. I know it's unlikely given the election fraud from last time and the people they put in place for this time. I still have hope.

Corporate media may have called it but yet I still hold hope. Until Harris reigns I hold hope.

It's official, the Cheetoh-encrusted, toupee-wearing embodiment of greed and hatred will be president again.

I hope this isn't me being silly, but I believe that as much as you guys are scared for our future and our people, you shouldn't be discouraged.

Whenever awful situations arise, use your fears as a motivator to fight for your rights to put these monsters in their place as your fears can help you become stronger and better than your enemies.

Remember, as much as Trump wants to be a fascist, the US is and will always be a democracy, a nation run by the people, and regardless of whatever ideologies we side with, it's our right for our voices to be heard and fight for your rights.

Don't be discouraged. Be strong. Be better than your enemies.

The road will be tough, but it's how strong enough you are to walk on it that matters.

"Sorrow is better than fear. Fear is a journey, a terrible journey, but sorrow is at least an arrival. When the storm threatens, a man is afraid for his house. But when the house is destroyed, there is something to do. About a storm he can do nothing, but he can rebuild a house." – Alan Paton

UU Doug Muder posted this quote today. I was disappointed several days ago when UUA posted some things in anticipation that were based more in fear than in rebuilding. I think we have gotten into power rather than trying to understand everyone's needs and fears. Eight years ago, we responded with fear and loathing. This time I hope we will respond with love and understanding for everyone, instead of condemning half of the country as foolish or evil.

My partner and I recently moved to a new area. We are in our early 30s, no kids but we both expressed feeling exceptionally lonely and have had a difficult time getting out and making friends. To make it doubly difficult, I work full time from home so I don't have much of an outlet through work either..
We are both very spiritually inclined, me a bit more, but my partner is very open and is an active member of AA and has a strong relationship with his higher power. Neither one of us come from any sort of organized religious background but we do seem to share many of the same beliefs of UU.
We are very nervous to show up to a sermon? (not even sure if that is what they are called!!) but are curious about being apart of this community.
I guess I am just looking for some tips on etiquette and what to expect to hopefully lessen some of this social anxiety. I also understand that we may (besides children) be some of the youngest folks there. I don't particularly mind this, as I often love being around more experienced folks (heh) but I also want to be realistic about whether we can stick this out longterm with such a potential big age gap. Any advice from younger folks on this one?
Thank you!

Curious what various UU members think of the ghostly side of things

It went so well! As a Theistic Luciferian I was super nervous to attend but I was able to actually listen to others talking about their experiences with the church and their personal beliefs, which I always love to hear from people. Everyone was so friendly! I even got a compliment on my necklace! I may never officially join the church or anything but I will enjoy trying it out for a period of time and connecting with others with differing beliefs. I am so happy I wasn't judged for my spirtuality! I also absolutely loved the lighting of the chalice as it heavily resonates with me!

Just wanted to share my enthusiasm :)

Edit: I now see that someone posted their experience of having their first service before me! So happy for them!

I grew up Jehovah’s Witness and left almost 2 years ago. Family discarded me and surviving on my own has been a significant struggle and the threat of imminent homelessness at any given time is ever present. Today I attended my first UU church service and to my surprise I did not have the PTSD anxiety breakdown I was afraid I might having going to a religious environment. The welcoming vibe that doesn’t tell me I’m wicked or evil for being gay is so welcomed and I look forward to attending more events and services in my local UU congregation. THANK YOU!

Talking with UUs recently, I've heard many comments about UU's Protestant Christian formats, and often language of the services. While pluralistic, and perhaps with most UUs not being Christian, U and U were original Christian denominations, and UU has preserved the Christian service format.

In the other UU forum, the moderator posted the below discussion from from an Ex Christians reddit forum where commentors also brought up the Christian formats of UU services, and how it is Christian without the Christianity.

Has anyone tried going to a Universalist Unitarian church? : r/exchristian

I'm thus curious about what folks here think about it? Do you like it? Do you wish it was different? How would you change it? Mix it up with other format? What do you think of the Christian language (worship, faith, etc.)

I note that I'm Jewish and my partner is from the Middle East. She dislikes the Christian format of UU services and won't attend, while it it is fine with me. I do find the Christian format without Christian theology to be a bit ironic and performatively hollow. However, my practical philosophy is a service has to have some format. Also, if you attend a Reform Jewish Shabbot service, you know that they are not so much different than a UU service.

Hey! So, I have been UU my whole life. I believe in god as a non-sentient energy that everything exists as part of, with the language of that energy being manifestation. I also believe in reincarnation. I work in plant conservation and ecology with the drive to promote environmental justice on an interspecies scale, along with just loving my career field. All of that is to say, I am very liberal, spiritual, and open minded with my beliefs.

I have been in a relationship of 3 years just about (with our anniversary coming up in January) with my partner. He is amazing and thoughtful in almost every way. However, he is a very devoted Christian, and he is unwilling to compromise on anything religious. (He has a lot of medical trauma, and one time he died briefly during a surgery. He says he say a vision that reaffirmed his beliefs. I have my own way of interpreting his vision with my own beliefs.) We try to avoid talking about our religious beliefs, and whenever we do talk about them, he is clear that he does not like my beliefs. His parents are very religious and republican (they don’t believe in climate change…), and apparently they have very strong thoughts on Unitarian Universalism. He told me to never mention it around them. From this though, he is unwilling to ever explore UU despite it being an open religion. I have gone to a few church events with him and his family, but I always feel slightly off-put when his church talks about me going to hell (I don’t believe in Hell but that’s not great energy to be around). One time, I also researched and emailed with more liberal and open minded church for a few weeks, and then I asked him to go with me to one of those. He instead told me that he already planned on going to his parents churches those days. We have talked about exploring other churches, and he was receptive then. I just wonder now if he doesn’t actually mean what he says in those conversations. We talk about our future all the time, but, occasionally, he says that I will believe what he believes. I don’t love that. I feel very proud of what I believe in, and it guides me through how I interpret the world. With the person I love hating my values, I feel like I should be ashamed of them sometimes, and I can’t talk about what I believe.

Further, I have deep problems with the whole “humans are over all other creatures” belief in christianity since I work in environmental conservation. I have had to had conversations on the plant-interspecies justice side where I ask if there would theoretically be a plant-Jesus, and he was not very interested. Hahaha

I am actually about to head out the door alone to go to my first UU event in like 7 years. I’m actually very excited to be in that environment again.

I guess, I’m just wondering what this group might think of all of that. What would you guys do? How would you approach this situation, and how would you have a conversation about that if you were in my shoes? And have any of you ever been in a situation like that? How did it go?

I myself am remembering my grandmother on my father's side.

She was a very courageous woman. She was the one who courted my grandfather in a time and place where doing such was a huge taboo for women to do.

She taught me to be bold and to persevere.

"Funny Thing About Death” will be the irreverent theme for a Sunday service at a small Unitarian Universalist Church. Rev. Phillip Schulman said, “I had a wild idea to break from the dominant pattern of solemnity & somberness.” He’s inviting humor & free expression of the “bizarre or unreasonable aspects of death.” John Prine’s song has the spirit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bzJtYFHZF0

I went to my first service last week, as I mentioned in a previous post, and I really enjoyed it. One question I had but didn’t get a chance to ask—and I’m hoping someone here might be able to answer—is about the very beginning of the service when the reverend lit a candle in a chalice. Could someone explain the significance of the flaming chalice in basic terms?

Also, shortly after that, the congregation was invited to come up and light a small candle on what looked like a metal tree, with one on each side of the sanctuary. During this time, there was a beautiful piece played on the piano, which made the moment feel even more meaningful. I’d love to understand the meaning behind this practice as well.

Thanks in advance for any insights.

I went to my first service last week, as I mentioned in a previous post, and I really enjoyed it. One question I had but didn’t get a chance to ask—and I’m hoping someone here might be able to answer—is about the very beginning of the service when the reverend lit a candle in a chalice. Could someone explain the significance of the flaming chalice in basic terms?

Also, shortly after that, the congregation was invited to come up and light a small candle on what looked like a metal tree, with one on each side of the sanctuary. During this time, there was a beautiful piece played on the piano, which made the moment feel even more meaningful. I’d love to understand the meaning behind this practice as well.

Thanks in advance for any insights.

I'm looking for feedback from anyone whose congregation has taken part in the UU Climate Justice Revival. Our congregation is doing our revival weekend in January, and I am on the social action committee which is facilitating, so I would love some insight from anyone who has already taken part either as a facilitator or an attendee.

Which parts did you find worked best or were not so great? Did you rely heavily on the provided videos/stick to the script or was it more free flowing? Anything come up that you wish you had prepared for or done differently?

So once upon a time I applied to a job at a protestant church and I get the ocassional email from them listing events and services. Anyway I saw 2 events they've done that I'd like my UU congregation to consider doing.

I saw that this other church puts together harm reduction kits and they also had a service that focused on sex work and sex workers. Both of these are things I'd like to see in my UU church/congregation but there's a part of me that feels it may be too radical for some but at the same time I feel they're the kind of topics that we should be talking about and spreading awareness, reducing stigma etc.

I don't know if this post makes sense but those are my thoughts.

While he is talking about politics, I think it is also applicable to UUism, which is increasingly aligned with progressive ideology (and we embody the educational elite he describes - not religious group in the US but Hindus has more education or post-graduate degrees).

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/10/trumpism-republican-party-exile-david-brooks/680243/?gift=UyN9DCjOc2Mh2mDsMFTgT3fwf4P78eZ5OvQd6nw4Olw&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share

ConspiracyTheories #DeepPolarization #BuildingBridges

I think this minister is onto something:

"What if the most absurd conspiracy theory could reveal profound truths about our deepest human needs? In a world where divisions run deep and conversations can feel like battlegrounds, how do we reach across the chasms that separate us? Join us as we uncover surprising insights into why we cling to certain beliefs, explore the power of love that stretches beyond comfort zones, and discover whether the bridges between us are closer than they appear."

https://youtu.be/qDyNXgj5pGk

I and others regularly notice that alternative viewpoints on this and the other UU forum are regularly mass downvoted in what I assume is a attempt to collapse or hide them. For just an example, the below comment by another user was hidden:

Thank you for sharing! I realize that many out there do not like the concept of diversity of thought and opinion. But Michael Servetus provided a beacon of hope for those like me that enjoy diversity by willing to stake his life on it. I will stake my reddit karma on it here! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Servetus It will be good for the UUA to have some friendly competition to help provide the organizational support and ministerial search support that all congregations benefit from.

This all reflects poorly on the the forums and UU, which is supposed to be a liberal, pluralistic, noncreedal church and welcomes and listens to diverse viewpoints. It represents bad trends in UU these days, and trends that have driven many from their congregations and UU.

I make this an OP, because I know it can be downvoted but not hidden from view.

I have decided I’d like to leave the church I attend as a member. I haven’t brought this up with anyone at the church but I haven’t met my pledge for this year either. Will I be required to meet it before I can leave?

Hi,

I’m a newer member. I joined a group earlier this year. I have decided I’d like to leave for several reasons but have not told any other members. I haven’t met my pledge yet either. How does one leave? Do I have to meet my pledge before I leave?

I know a big aspect of being a UU and one thing I’ve been struggling with recently is being open minded and accepting of people with different opinions.

I live in a very conservative part of the USA, in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. My wife and I have been attending our UU church for about 4 months now and it’s great. We are finally around people who share our same beliefs, religiously and politically. With us being in rural America we are in the middle of hateful politics and rhetoric. My friends and family are ALL republicans and we do not see eye to eye with them regarding any of that! I’m struggling to be accepting of them as I think there politics is full of hate and make my and my wife’s life harder. How do I become more accepting and ok with that? They are my family after all and these are friends I have been with since I was 4, I’m 33 now. With this charged political season my wife and I are sick of the people around us and the hate they spew.

Hello! I'm a Theistic Luciferian and I have a history with Christianity and Catholicism that has left me spiritually traumatized. (However, I accept people in these spiritualities.) I'm wondering if a Unitarian Universalist Church in my community would be a good place where I can learn and enjoy time around others without running into negative experiences. The reason why I'm wondering is because my partner has chosen to go and I'm going as well and I want to know if I will be "safe" from negativity toward my spirituality since it is usually a very taboo path. I'm not looking to identify as a Unitarian Universalist, I'm just looking to find a spiritual place in my community where I can connect with others. I'm also not very educated on UU and am looking forward to learning more! I got invited to join them and the minister was super nice and friendly! They weren't aware of what my spiritual identity is though. I really connect with the whole lighting the chalice thing because Lucifer's sigil is a chalice. Anyway, if anyone has any ideas about this, please feel free to let me know.

strict church theory is that strict conservative churches grow while leniant liberal churches decline because of their austere demands of congregants. uu is declining, unity church is declining, united church of christ is declining, church of the prismatic light was a flash in the pan, mainline protestant churches are declining but evangelical, amish and mormon churches are all growing like kudzu. southern baptists got the lion share of congregants from the split northern baptists are like "american baptist who?" even though northern baptists are a lot less effed up.

but maybe it's not so bad we're small? why does liberal religion need a single institution to be big? i think the biggest u in uu isn't unitarian or universalist, it's unchurched, meaning folx that have the same beliefs as uu's but don't want to participate in organized religion. and i think uu's leniance is a virtue cos imo the difference between a religion and a cult is how they treat folx who left the faith, a test uu passes with flying colors. i think instead of concentrating on numbers for one religion uu should foster more interfaith stuff with like-hearted believers of all institutions and of none at all. it might even help uu get more folx since most people don't even know uu doesn't do dogma and that in this historically christian religion you can even be pagan (most pagans don't tell anyone they are pagan, let alone do so in a place that looks like a christian church).

tldr, love over numbers, many institutions over one

I am a person who professes another religion but I like to attend the services of Unitarian churches, especially when I am away from my community. In addition to the CLF services, do you know of other churches with online services?

I'm planning to attend services in a different city/state next month. Is it considered polite to email the minister ahead to let them know? Thanks!

This is me coming back to update everyone on my experience! Last week, I made a post looking for guidance on whether Unitarian Universalism would be a good fit for me and how to attend a service. Many of you responded with kind words of encouragement, and today, I finally attended.

When I say my experience was incredible, I truly mean it. I arrived at the parking lot about 10 minutes before the service, which was scheduled to begin at 11 AM. Guest parking was clearly marked and easy to find—especially since my anxiety had me checking it out on Google Earth beforehand! The lot was packed, which was definitely not what I had expected. The campus itself is shaped like a large “U,” with a massive courtyard in the middle.

As I followed others into the courtyard, two older women approached me right away, asked if I was new, and kindly showed me to the welcome table outside the sanctuary. There, I met one of the greeters, who was incredibly welcoming. He explained how the service would go, offered me a name badge, and handed me the order of service. After that, he led me into the sanctuary and told me I could sit wherever I felt comfortable.

The sanctuary was beautiful—filled with natural light and high wood ceilings that felt inspirational. And the smell… it was like honeysuckle or fresh flowers. Just amazing. Today’s service focused on remembering our loved ones who have passed, which tied into Día de los Muertos. The music was moving, the readings from the reverend were thoughtful, and I even appreciated the part when all the new guests were asked to stand so the congregation could welcome us. Several of us stood, and the applause we received was so heartwarming. It was a wonderful feeling.

There was also a moment during the service where everyone greeted their neighbors, which I enjoyed. Several people came over to introduce themselves to me, making me feel even more at ease. After the service, they had food and coffee available for everyone. A woman came up to me and asked if I’d be interested in a UU 101 course, just to learn more about the religion and what it means. She wasn’t pushy at all, just kind and informative, so I agreed.

The course itself was great—there were a few other people joining too. The two women leading the course were knowledgeable and passionate, but never in a way that felt intimidating. Afterward, they gave us a tour of the campus, showing us a library filled with books by philosophers, social justice authors, and writings on the UU faith. They encouraged us to explore the campus freely and made it clear that we were welcome back anytime.

What struck me most was that, throughout the entire experience, no one was trying to impose their beliefs on me. It was clear that everyone holds their own beliefs, and the focus of the UU faith is to support individuals in finding what they believe in. I will definitely be back next week!

to add* yes, they had coffee. 🤣 It was offered both before and after the service. The courtyard had a covered patio and if I had to guess, I would say around 40 people were gathered, drinking coffee and eating pastries, while chatting with others.

This is me coming back to update everyone on my experience! Last week, I made a post looking for guidance on whether Unitarian Universalism would be a good fit for me and how to attend a service. Many of you responded with kind words of encouragement, and today, I finally attended.

When I say my experience was incredible, I truly mean it. I arrived at the parking lot about 10 minutes before the service, which was scheduled to begin at 11 AM. Guest parking was clearly marked and easy to find—especially since my anxiety had me checking it out on Google Earth beforehand! The lot was packed, which was definitely not what I had expected. The campus itself is shaped like a large “U,” with a massive courtyard in the middle.

As I followed others into the courtyard, two older women approached me right away, asked if I was new, and kindly showed me to the welcome table outside the sanctuary. There, I met one of the greeters, who was incredibly welcoming. He explained how the service would go, offered me a name badge, and handed me the order of service. After that, he led me into the sanctuary and told me I could sit wherever I felt comfortable.

The sanctuary was beautiful—filled with natural light and high wood ceilings that felt inspirational. And the smell… it was like honeysuckle or fresh flowers. Just amazing. Today’s service focused on remembering our loved ones who have passed, which tied into Día de los Muertos. The music was moving, the readings from the reverend were thoughtful, and I even appreciated the part when all the new guests were asked to stand so the congregation could welcome us. Several of us stood, and the applause we received was so heartwarming. It was a wonderful feeling.

There was also a moment during the service where everyone greeted their neighbors, which I enjoyed. Several people came over to introduce themselves to me, making me feel even more at ease. After the service, they had food and coffee available for everyone. A woman came up to me and asked if I’d be interested in a UU 101 course, just to learn more about the religion and what it means. She wasn’t pushy at all, just kind and informative, so I agreed.

The course itself was great—there were a few other people joining too. The two women leading the course were knowledgeable and passionate, but never in a way that felt intimidating. Afterward, they gave us a tour of the campus, showing us a library filled with books by philosophers, social justice authors, and writings on the UU faith. They encouraged us to explore the campus freely and made it clear that we were welcome back anytime.

What struck me most was that, throughout the entire experience, no one was trying to impose their beliefs on me. It was clear that everyone holds their own beliefs, and the focus of the UU faith is to support individuals in finding what they believe in. I will definitely be back next week!

to add* yes, they had coffee. 🤣 It was offered both before and after the service. The courtyard had a covered patio and if I had to guess, I would say around 40 people were gathered, drinking coffee and eating pastries, while chatting with others.

I went to a UU as a young person and we did a tradition of candle lighting during the winter time. It has specific candle colors for each day. The closest thing I can come up with is Advent during the same time? But the thing I’m thinking of had a list of different candles and meanings. Maybe a variation on Advent? Does anyone have a list like this they’d be willing to share or have other insight?

I created this video a while back, and would like to discuss it with folks. I would love your thoughts! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt2gXmy59XM&t

Hi everyone! I’m seeking some guidance or insight from those who may have walked a similar path. I grew up in a large family that occasionally attended a Pentecostal church, though we weren’t deeply committed to it—it was more of a convenience. After I came out, my family was essentially pushed out of the church, and we haven’t returned since. These days, my parents will still mention God or talk about Christ, but it’s not as fervent as it was during my childhood.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself grappling with my faith and spiritual identity. I’ve always had so many questions about religion, but more often than not, my questions were either dismissed or left unanswered. Now, nearing 30, I know I believe in something, but I’m not entirely sure what. Recently, I came across Unitarian Universalism (UU), and it really piqued my interest.

There’s a UU church less than 15 minutes from me here in Texas, and I’m curious about attending a service. Do you simply walk in and take a seat in the sanctuary? I’m a bit cautious about attending because I’ve never been to a place like this, and I’m unsure what to expect.

Could anyone explain, in simple terms, what UU believes? What texts, if any, are used? And as someone who might identify as agnostic (I don’t deny the existence of a higher power, but I feel it may be impossible for humans to fully understand it), do you think UU would be a good fit for me? I’d really appreciate any insights or experiences!

Hi everyone! I’m seeking some guidance or insight from those who may have walked a similar path. I grew up in a large family that occasionally attended a Pentecostal church, though we weren’t deeply committed to it—it was more of a convenience. After I came out, my family was essentially pushed out of the church, and we haven’t returned since. These days, my parents will still mention God or talk about Christ, but it’s not as fervent as it was during my childhood.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself grappling with my faith and spiritual identity. I’ve always had so many questions about religion, but more often than not, my questions were either dismissed or left unanswered. Now, nearing 30, I know I believe in something, but I’m not entirely sure what. Recently, I came across Unitarian Universalism (UU), and it really piqued my interest.

There’s a UU church less than 15 minutes from me here in Texas, and I’m curious about attending a service. Do you simply walk in and take a seat in the sanctuary? I’m a bit cautious about attending because I’ve never been to a place like this, and I’m unsure what to expect.

Could anyone explain, in simple terms, what UU believes? What texts, if any, are used? And as someone who might identify as agnostic (I don’t deny the existence of a higher power, but I feel it may be impossible for humans to fully understand it), do you think UU would be a good fit for me? I’d really appreciate any insights or experiences!

North American Unitarian Association hosts its first conference at Spokane church with focus on political division from keynote speaker John Wood Jr. | The Spokesman-Review

Hello, all. I was just curious... Is the UU faith essentially a form of religious Humanism?

I would consider myself a Humanist. I used to consider myself a Secular Humanist. However, in recent times, I have come to embrace a type of Spiritual Naturalism. It seems the "Secular Humanist" movement has a tone that is highly against spirituality or any kind of "god" type beliefs of any kind, almost hinging on Anti-theist.

I, however, would like to refrain from such behaviors and believe in more positivity and tolerance towards others. I don't really believe in anything supernatural for the most part, but recognize there are many who do. I recognize that humanity comes in a diverse range of belief systems. I don't really believe in taking part in worship of any kind personally, but I see that rituals, ceremonies and other things give meaning to a lot of people, even if I don't share the views on my own personally. I also believe in secular values, but more so in the interest of keeping treatment towards others fair and ethical, without favoring a particular religion, not because I am anti-religion or anything like that.

That said, I feel like my views are very similar to the UU/religious Humanist aspect. I'd argue on paper, that my belief system sort of encompasses many things, mostly being Humanism, Scientific Pantheism, which is a form of Spiritual Naturalism, agnosticism, and technically atheism.

Perhaps my own "form" of Humanism, whatever it is, need not any alignment or labels. Any thoughts?

For reasons I shouldn't share I've been tasked with taking on the chair of the membership committee. Because of the reasons there isn't going to be any handing over of documentation or contacts, aside from a log of headcounts she performed from time to time. So I'm practically starting from zero at a relatively small church (30 members, 20 pledging units).

Where do I start? I want to get out in the community at fairs and such, and I also want to be able to organize events to keep our members engaged, but it feels like I'm eating an elephant and don't know where to take my first bite.

I recently started going ans after some research, I find the concepts of unitarian and universal salvation very appealing. I know modern UU has sort of evolved past that, but I was wondering if anyone still subscribes to these beliefs. I saw some sermons online touch upon it, but it was more in a "this is our history " kind if way.

I like how unitarianism encourages ppl to see Jesus as a fallible person inspired by God. Definitely makes him more relatable and I don't feel like my intelligence is being insulted. And universalism basically fixes the problem with so many Christians fixating on punishing or condemning outsiders.

I just feel like these are pretty powerful ideas and I'm wondering if you guys still feel they are relevant today?

I’m a member/employee at my church, and have been struggling in recent months to do my job and feel safe in my community because of our minister. She is extraordinarily controlling, dismissive, gossipy, and generally seemingly out of touch with the practice of our UU values. When I first started attending we were lay-led and struggling to find a minister, so there’s this weird aspect to the congregational relationship where many people are super grateful because she stepped up and took charge, but those who actually have to work with her on a close basis (most church employees) are struggling. When she first came, I personally felt written off by her (she would literally ignore me if I tried to talk to her)until she realized that I was “important” in some way as I am heavily involved both in logistics for the church and several of our activities. I wanted to write this off as generational and cultural differences as she is from the opposite side of the country from our church, but I’ve continued to feel dismissed in our interactions. One of the first times I spoke with her it was to discuss use of our space for letter writing campaign for a cease-fire in Gaza. I was told that we “can’t have it here“ despite the fact that other UUs in our area were at the time doing the similar campaigns. She later made it clear from the pulpit that she “agreed with President Biden” on condemning the protests against the genocide, which is ironic because I’ve been told several times not to bring up politics. She has: -Repeatedly ignored my and others instructions in how to treat our sound equipment, resulting in us having to purchase new microphones that we had not budgeted for. -Gotten up out of her seat and gone to the back of the room mid-service to tell me I was doing something with our projection she didn’t like -Complained in spaces where I was not present about me posting on our social media without her permission (I started our instagram with her and she does not post on it- and all I was posting was taken directly from our newsletter. -taken down decorations put up by others directly before a service. -multiple times kicked me and my coworker out of the chapel while we were securing equipment which has to be done after service. -berated our pianist for using her phone during service to look at the script. -when I performed at our auction, she looking at her phone a for THE ENTIRETY of my 10 minute performance. Today, she sent an email thanking me for my “attempts” to moderate our facebook page after she promoted a post about us being queer affirming that was immediately swarmed by the wrong kind of attention, and reminding me not to post anything “political”. I assume the latter was in regard to my post about Indigenous People’s Day, in which I shared information about the specific tribe whose lands the church resides on. I was very careful to share only facts in the post, and I quite literally used to work at a museum that covered 19th century history in our area, so I’m unsure how that could be considered political. I’m a pretty direct communicator and would love to just work this out by sitting down with her, but on occasions I’ve met with her for lunch or meetings I have found her to be very unreceptive and quite prone to uncomfortably racially charged stories about her time in India. From my talks with other congregants and staff members, feeling uncomfortable with her seems to be a common occurrence (4/5 staff I’ve spoken to) and several members, including our oldest member. I am considering going to the board about it, but I’m currently on my way to petition them to add social media management to my job title as there is an increasing need that cannot be met through volunteer work and I don’t want to ruffle any feathers until that’s gone through. My church is pretty much my whole community, and while I don’t want to even consider leaving, I’m unsure what other course of action I can even take here.

I live in a rural part of WV and have no access to a UU church, so I figured I would do a virtual service. I really enjoyed it and wish there was a physical place I could go to socialize in person. I was raised Catholic, but never kept with it. Over the past few years I have been searching for a spiritual path. I work outside everyday so I have always felt connected to the natural world. I have read the Torah, practiced Paganism, looked into Eastern Orthodox, Buddhism, Tarot, Transcendentalism, Hermeticism and even Chaos Magick. I feel like sprinting through a Labyrinth, but today's service felt good.

I'm on my congregation's governance council, and we're trying to find a better alternative to our current software for our financials team. We are currently using Power Church and have for many, many years, but from what the finance team is telling us, it's not sustainable anymore. We're looking into different options, but so far nothing has really sparked for them. Therefore I'm reaching out to see if any of you have suggestions or resources! The team complains that they are getting burned out on how much work goes into using the software, but they don't want to outsource to a third party company to do the work. So, from what I'm being told, we need a solution that is in-house, but more user friendly, and hopefully can be more easily learned by multiple people so that as the team changes, we can more easily pass the baton to the new crew.

We're reaching out to our other local UU chapters to see what they use, but I am hoping that by spreading a wider net that we'll get some more ideas. Thank you all in advance!

Any stories about how these two ideas are misused? Especially when used for conflict between a congregant and staff?

So one of my partners has recently gotten interested in the UUs and has an interest in attending the church in Colorado Springs.

So I was wondering if there's anything that y'all could tell her about that congregation and what to expect from their services?

Sorry in advance that this is vague, but I'm asking here because the information I got was too vague to Google it effectively. My aunt told me that in the wake of the Article 2 revision, members of her congregation are considering leaving the church/UUA and attending services by a sort of breakoff group that doesn't answer to the UUA and doesn't follow the new Article 2. It's led by a man who seems to have formerly been a UU minister but was criticized for writing something that was perceived as anti-trans/LGBTQ. Does anyone know anything about this? My aunt is in Connecticut but it sounded like this wasn't a local group. She's getting old and doesn't always explain things well, hence my lack of info/confusion!

What should I read, listen to, or watch to learn more about the history, beliefs, and philosophy of Unitarian Universalism? I'm someone who really likes to read the fine print before committing. I don't think I'll learn anything that will stop me from joining, but I don't want to declare myself a UU without being able to explain what that means.

Thoroughly skippable details:

I went to my friend's UU church as a teen and off and on to the largest one in my area a few years ago, but it didn't feel like a good fit and I had an appalling experience at their new member meeting and a bad time at a few services. About a year and a half ago, I started going to a tiny UU church near me, only about 20 or so members and about the same number of regular guests.

I like it. It's not perfect, the members are older and white and a bit out of touch, the size of the congregation limits the amount of impact they can have, and there's a little more emphasis on activism than on spirituality. But, they're not at all stuck on staying the same for eternity and are looking to evolve and they've been really welcoming. A few people drive me crazy, but that's anywhere.

Thank you!

Are there any books you think someone interested in UU should read and or you felt influenced by in your spirituality?

Love spiritual LoA YouTube like Skylife, Leeor Alexandra, The Secret, Joe Dispenza, classics too like Earl Nightingale. Do any UU congregations do LoA?

I recently had a friend who told me that "his relationship with God is more important than my human relationships." This person is a Catholic that desires to go into the priesthood. How would a UU respond to this?

I think that "God" the force or the thing that it is can be found in things like friendships and relationships and we interact with that force through those things (just like art, music. literature, nature walks....). To me a "relationship" with something invisible is not paramount to something earthly. Thoughts?

Hello all. I've identified as a Humanist for quite a while now. The more and more I go in depth with my journey of my own self discovery and learning, the more I find about how I lean towards certain things and then sometimes my views change slightly.

In terms of beliefs, I'm technically an agnostic atheist on paper. However, I think I'm a bit more of a kind of Pantheist or Spiritual Naturalist in some regards. I feel a type of spirituality within nature and considering the cosmos, and interconnectedness of all things with universe. I don't really believe in anything supernatural however like gods, demons, heaven or hell.

Now, I had considered myself a Secular Humanist along my pathway to discovery as well. However, I've recently almost sort of became disillusioned with this line of thought, as it seems a lot of people who are Secular Humanists are more interested in bashing others who are religious or believe in (a) god, which I am not. It seems spirituality in general, or anything with "Theist," in it is automatically frowned upon or arrogantly discarded.

I see purpose in people believing in things, rituals and spirituality, having community in church, and faith to some people, even if I can't get on board with all this personally. Everything isn't for everybody. I try to be more open-minded and believe in peaceful coexistence with everyone, regardless of what beliefs you have, as long as they aren't harmful or a kind of discrimination. The only thing I really disagree with is religion being brought into politics, and aggressive proselytizing.

That kind of makes me wonder, since I know religious Humanism is also a thing, is the UU philosophy more so this type of Humanism if that is the case? I don't really desire to be a part of any "religion," in any technical sense, but I think my belief in Humanism is a bit of a combination of religious Humanism (like UU) and Secular Humanism aspects. Ironically enough, from what I've read, religious Humanism is apparently considered a non-theistic stance as well?

I know the subject line sounds snarky however I'm serious. I'm a lifelong (it's starting to feel like a long life) UU. I recently attended a workshop at a neighboring UU church. A member there greeted me and she was wearing a name tag that had a bold "10 year member" banner along the bottom. It evoked a visceral "I don't belong" here reaction in me and I suppressed an urge to flee (and I'm an old white guy).

Until recently, our church had a color-coding system for name tags (members had one color, visitors another, etc) which inadvertently created a "we're 'in' and you're not" vibe. We also use jargon (eg. "join us in the back lounge after the service") that's not easily understood by newcomers.

What does your congregation do to not welcome newcomers? I'm hoping to trigger awareness and perhaps change where needed.