I recently moved states, and attended a service with one of my local UUA's to hopefully find a congregation that I fit into. As expected, the population of the UUA was predominately older folks (60+), and due to the area, predominately upper class and white. The service was wonderful. The congregation left some things to be desired.

There was a side meeting held to discuss the recent adopting of an eighth pillar, one that specifically strives to bring racial equity and undo behaviors within the congregation or within themselves in order to make it a welcome place for all. We were able to share during the meeting, but my partner and I had little to contribute if only because we were new and did not know enough of what had been happening to say too much on it.

I guess to summarize, the congregation has been having discussions about how they might go about actually adopting this pillar, but not a lot has been done to actually do that. It's talked about almost as if the fact that we are talking about it is worth celebration, and yet it has been two years since the pillar was adopted, and no committee or leadership has been created to address it. Understandably, many in the congregation who are impacted by microagressions or outright discrimination in and out of the co gregarious are frusterated. Some individuals voiced their frusteration, asked when there was going to be a planning phase, some actions done, and there was a lot of "we tried our bstz but don't know what we are doing" and "it's up to the congregation to decide how to adopt these principals". The I dociduals impacted have voiced that it is a lotto shoulder to be expected to lead the charge in dismantling beliefs about their intersectionalities, and holding accountability for microagressions against them, and that congregational leadership should and needs to hold a more active role.

I see why there is frusteration. I had multiple interactions with mostly older men that were pretty uncomfortable. They didn't like when I corrected them, changed subject, or waved the conversation off. My partner did not get the same kind of treaent or interest despite being new as well, and announcing that he was new to UUA's all together. It was frustrating, not infuriating, but I definitely felt put off by it.

I'm going to try a different congregation in a population that is more like partner and myself, and looking online, it seems that congregation bringd in many diverse speakers. So my thought was, maybe there were initiatives in other UU's we could point to, so leadership can tyen pivk their brains and take action, since their main hold up seems to be that they don't feel they know what they shoukd do. I do have groups and activities I want to be a part of with the lovelier people from this first one (specifically their LGBTQIA and young adults), and these seem like good places to test sone of these steps so we can see if it is appropriate for this congregation. I also wanted to bring the conversation here, to see if any one had adopted similar things into their congregation, and perhaps what suggestions you all may have in navigating this kind of behavior within the congregation, having accountability, and addressing concerns in these meeting with leadership, e.c.t

Hey everyone!

I was raised UU, but haven't been back to regular service since before high school. My partner is Hindu, and because I am not spiritually religeous, I celebrate hindu holidays and we eat by his religeous dietary restrictions. Hinduism is an open practice, but we have no temples specific to Hinduism in our area, and he worries as a non-indian practitioner coming in with a white partner, he might be judged. I had suggested maybe we could check out some of the UU's in the area, see if maybe there are individuals there he can connect with that he might find a spiritual community where he can go to a regular weekly service, and he's very interested.

He specifically really wants to be able to wear traditional temple wear and is concerned about the public perception of this in a congregation. In support of his beliefs, I've become more of a philosophical hindu that an spiritual one, and I dress in a saree with him when we celebrate holidays, and I put on Tilak with him. He's asked if this would be odd or shunned in a UU setting if we were to show up dressed like we were going to Temple. I wanted to turn to our greater community here to see if anyone has had experience with their UU on this, and maybe some suggestions of UU congregations in New Jersey that would be open to us.