Hello all!

I'm currently in the process of researching UU with the desire to return to my pursuit of spiritual growth and personal peace. I was hoping that by posting here, I could get some questions that myself and my partner have, and perhaps find the courage to actually reach out to my local congregation.

So first off, I would like to say that UU seems like THE option for us, partly because my partner and I do identify as LGBTQ+. But our marriage is typically seen by outsiders as heterosexual because we both identify as our AAB genders and we do not pursue our other sexual interests because we are happy with our marriage. Many will recognize this as "you can't be pan/bi, you're married to (opposite cis-gender category)," or "you can't be poly if you haven't had another partner in (insert time period)." Frankly, we're fine with that. We gave up the poly lifestyle quite a few years ago, and we have no problem being perceived as a fully heterosexual couple (known by intolerant society as "normal").

But these particular facts of our lives, among others such as the variances in our beliefs from the norm, the popularity contests of church work quotas, the cliques, the bigotry, and the hatred both given and received by our previous Christian churches led us to shutter ourselves away from religion. We, as people, were not respected or accepted by our previous churches for living lives of "sin." We have always worshipped in our own way, and we have always remained spiritual, but we never felt like we fit into a normal church.

So here are our questions:

1.) Do we have to pay to be members? We've read on our local congregations site that they depend on "member pledges" to function. We have no problem donating when we can to specific functions or needs, but we don't think it's right to have to pay a fee to attend church. We're barely scraping by as it is, and we don't want to feel like our church is a subscription service that will be cut off without payment.

2.) What does "whoever you are, whoever you love" ultimately allow? Of course, we have no issue with LGBTQ+. But we absolutely do not support abusive behavior of ANY kind. So we want no part of a community that allows spousal or child abuse, or allows sexual abuse (especially of minors). Being blunt here, if UU accepts or even tolerates p*dophiles, or calls them "MAP"s or anything like that, it's an automatic no for us. Please forgive me if this seems offensive, I swear my only intent is to be informed, as my partner and I have survived both of those horrible abuses and thus have suspicions and anxieties.

3.) What kind of interactions can we expect in regards to our personal beliefs? For example, we don't believe in the Bible because it was written by men, not God. And we believe that it's entirely possible that even if God dictated it to these men, that they could have misunderstood or purposefully manipulated his words. We really don't see any other explanation for things like "God" saying to force a woman to marry her rapist or to sell a child into slavery for disappointing their father. Because honestly, what loving and benevolent diety would demand that? HOWEVER, we do believe in the good lessons, such as loving thy neighbor, do not steal, kill, etc. How would we be perceived?

I will probably come up with more questions over time, but these three are the most imperative to our decision. I apologize for the post being so long, but I am sincerely seeking a reconnect with a community that I can feel safe and respected in. Thank you to anyone who has gotten this far and responds! I appreciate you!