“Don’t mistake activity for achievement.”
― John Wooden

What have you achieved with minimal activity?

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Social media is a tremendous gift, allowing us to stay connected with friends and family far and near, and giving us countless opportunities to learn, and to enjoy things we otherwise never would have seen. Social media is a massive time sink, an invasion of privacy, and drives us into enclaves that reinforce our existing prejudices and assumptions. Both statements are true.

What is your relationship with social media?

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“Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

What achievement are you proud of?

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“It’s not rocket science,” we say of things that are not as complicated as people want to make them out to be. But sometimes it is rocket science. Sometimes what is needed is specialized, sophisticated, detailed knowledge from someone who has worked hard to gain that expertise.

What are you expert at?

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“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

What is your favorite work avoidance strategy?

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So much of work is not doing things, but rather keeping track of what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and what has to happen before it can be done. Spontaneity sounds great, but it turns out you have to do an awful lot of planning in order to make room for it.

What helps you to stay organized?

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“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.”
― Terry Pratchett

What has made it possible for you to follow your dreams?

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“Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.”
― tom robbins

What bit have you done to advance humanity through being playful, rebellious and/or immature?

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“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
― Barack Obama

What have you done recently that gave you hope?

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A golden, perfectly caramelized, smooshy in the middle, toasted marshmallow is an entirely different creature from its pallid cousin in the bag. But maybe what really makes a toasted marshmallow taste so good is that it is part and parcel with camping and vacation and the great outdoors and relaxed time with family or friends.

What do you love because of the context you associate with it?

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“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
― Alan Watts

What work tasks feel like play to you?

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There are so many cultural messages telling us to work harder, to “go big or go home,” to prove our worth by what we do. But it is possible that working harder might not be the secret to success, especially if you define success as life satisfaction or happiness.

What is one admirable thing about you that is unrelated to how hard you work?

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“In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.”
― Leo Tolstoy

What kind of breaks from work help to reconnect you to the world?

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The ukulele is not the kind of instrument that you play in a symphony. It’s little and quiet, and really pretty easy, as instruments go. It’s also joyful and fun and perfect for enticing people into singing along.

What not very impressive accomplishment brings you joy?

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“Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work.”
― Gustave Flaubert

What home practices enable you to bring your best to your work?

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We tend to think of “sparks flying” as an expression of sexual passion. But there are plenty of other things in the world to be passionate about, from the satisfaction of building something sturdy to the intellectual joy of learning something new.

What work or play engages your passion?

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“All happiness depends on courage and work.”
― Honoré de Balzac

How have you found happiness in courageous work?

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The Greeks had two words for time: chromos for the orderly procession of minutes and hours, and kairos for the way time ebbs and flows, flashing past in some moments and creeping by at others. Of course time can’t be both orderly and chaotic. But of course it is.

What are you doing with your time? What is time doing with you?

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In Greek legend, the Sphinx devoured all travelers who could not correctly answer its riddle. The Sphinx may be mythical, but it turns out that in life—whether work or social situations or personal relationships—it is all too common that we are barred from moving on until we obtain some knowledge that seems utterly mysterious.

What bit of knowledge or understanding has allowed you to move forward?

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“We are perishing for want of wonder, not for want of wonders.”
― G.K. Chesterton

How does the experience of wonder bring you life?

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We are told that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but that old saying presumes that the bird in hand is captive or dead. What is a bird worth that flies freely to your hand and rests there, choosing you, if only for a moment?

What has come to you out of the blue, an unexpected gift?

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“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
― Arthur C. Clarke

What technology fills you with wonder?

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Whether with paint colors or food ingredients or with friends at a party, you never quite know what you are going to get when you put disparate things together.

How do you like to experiment with surprising combinations?

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“Wonder is the heaviest element on the periodic table. Even a tiny fleck of it stops time.”
― Diane Ackerman

What curiosity or wonder stops you in your tracks?

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Doesn’t it just happen that way? That what you are hiding from is already watching you, that what you are seeking is in plain sight, if only you were to turn around.

Are you hiding or seeking?

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“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”
—Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

What improbability have you come to accept?

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There is nothing wrong with plain, white cauliflower. Vegetables don’t have to be flamboyant. But isn’t it great knowing that they can be?

How will you step out and be fabulous?

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“The more I wonder, the more I love.”
― Alice Walker

When has wonder led you to love?

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Archeologists can tell us a great deal about ancient civilizations, but there will always be more that is simply lost to the sands of time. More mysterious still are the ways in which our distant ancestors have shaped us—things we know and things we do without ever recognizing that they come to us from our deep history.

What do you know without being able to identify the source of that knowledge?

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In just a moment a puff of breath, or simply the wind, will transform the perfect, starry globe of the dandelion head into a hundred floating travelers in search of a place to land and grow. No seed knows where it will land. They probably don’t even know that they are on the verge of going.

When has a significant journey come to you as a surprise?

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Life is a dangerous journey, and there’s no doubt that it pays to exercise caution and watch where you are going. But what’s the point, if you can’t have fun along the way?

What form of enjoyment makes you throw caution to the wind?

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We call an airport or a train station a terminal—an ending. And so it is, although rarely without serving as a beginning as well.

What terminal has served as both and end and beginning point in your life?

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The sun’s light reveals our surroundings to us, makes it possible to see where we are going. But there are also things which are hidden to us by the daylight, including the fact that we belong to something far bigger than we can imagine.

What do you see when you step away from the light of analysis and reason?

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Each of us is a work in progress, coming more fully into ourselves over time, much like a portrait that emerges through the work of the artist. We are never completed works of art, but some times, places and people are central to helping our outlines emerge.

Who or what has been transformative in helping the picture of your true self emerge?

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“The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.”
—Anais Nin

What piece of knowledge inspires a sense of wonder and mystery in you?

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“Yet, even amidst the hatred and carnage, life is still worth living. It is possible for wonderful encounters and beautiful things to exist.”
― Hayao Miyazaki

What is the most dreadful circumstance in which you have encountered wonderful things?

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We judge books by their covers all the time. We also judge people based on a variety of factors like size, age and color that tell us remarkably little about the person inside.

What helps you to look beyond the surface of the people you meet?

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Imagine what a shock it must be for a newly hatched chick to break free of its shell. There’s no way the chick could conceive, as it pecks its way free, what it might be headed for. It must be terrifically uncomfortable to be squashed inside a too-small shell, or no chick would struggle so hard to enter the unknown.

What has motivated you to break out into an unforeseeable new life?

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“The greatest mystery of existence is existence itself.”
—Deepak Chopra

What amazes you by simply existing?

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A bridge covers the distance between the known and the unknown. Neither one place nor another, a bridge is a process more than a location, a verb more than a noun.

What are you bridging?

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“The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders and realities of the universe about us, the less taste we shall have for destruction.”
― Rachel Carson

How does wonder guide you toward working for the preservation of life?

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“[We live] in a world of surmise, of mystery, of uncertainties.”
—John Dewey

What mystery or wonder leads you forward?

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There are moments where it seems like our life maps should be labeled: “Here be dragons.” You look to the edge of the known world and all you can see before you is uncharted waters. And there is nothing for it but to swim.

What have you discovered beyond the edges of your known world?

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The moon waxes and wanes, hides behind clouds and then reemerges, flirting.

What do you love for its changing nature?

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“Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of [our] desire to understand.”
—Neil Armstrong

What mystery makes you long to understand something?

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Imagine living in a world where all you knew was what you could glean from the world immediately around you—no phone, no internet, no TV. But you would know your neighbors and your environment with a depth beyond what we moderns have ever experienced.

What stands in the way of your deep knowing?

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“Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.”
― Socrates

How has wonder led you to wisdom?

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Face it, pretty much all of us look, if not worse for wear, at least changed by the elements that have touched us over the years. Those changes can be marks of distinction rather than losses of beauty, but they come to us all.

What about your appearance causes you wonder?

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“With mindfulness, you can establish yourself in the present in order to touch the wonders of life that are available in that moment.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh

Where do you touch wonder right here, right now?

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An ordinary grasshopper looks like an armored alien if you get close enough. With a magnifying glass your own hand turns into a topography of rivers and tributaries. Whole worlds of wonder exist that we never see because we never look closely enough.

What tiny thing has awakened your sense of wonder?

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We all know the world is full of grievous injustice and outright tragedy. Also stunning beauty and grace. But a lot of the world is just plain good—not astounding, or amazing, but enjoyable or likable or pleasant or fun. The good bits deserve attention to.

What good thing will you enjoy today?

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When you’re inside a tunnel, the light at the end can appear as a blinding glare, concealing what you are approaching rather than revealing it. But you don’t need to know what is on the other side to know that you have to keep moving forward. You can’t stay in the tunnel.

What in your life feels like you are headed into the unknown?

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Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
—Helen Keller

When have you found wonder in darkness or silence?

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It’s OK to go all in. To get covered in paint, to get covered in dirt, to totally lose yourself in the world of a book. You can love what you love with all your body as well as all your heart.

What do you love enough to immerse yourself in it?

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Each night, we all sleep under the stars—most of us just don’t see them because of the roof that shelters us. But really, all of us go about all of our daily activities under the stars as well—the stars don’t just go away because the light prevents us from seeing them. There are always stars, whether we notice them or not.

What helps you to remember the wonders that surround you?

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“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.”
—William Blake

What is the most mundane, ordinary thing that you find miraculous?

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“Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.”
—Alice Walker

How do you open yourself to surprise?

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What if war is a symptom of the failure of imagination, a choice to regress to old patterns of violence rather than move forward into creative solutions? Maybe art, based in creative exploration, is the alternative to war.

What helps move you toward creative solutions?

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There is much to be said for subtly, for nuance and appreciating the quiet and unassuming. But there’s also a great deal to recommend the outrageous, the splendid, the catch-your-breath wonderful.

How do you like to stand out in a crowd?

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“Small change, small wonders – these are the currency of my endurance and ultimately of my life.”
—Barbara Kingsolver

What small change in your life has filled you with wonder?

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Sure, none of us have the really flashy superpowers, like flying or lifting buildings or X-ray vision. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t do truly amazing things.

What is your superpower?

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“Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of [our] desire to understand.”
― Neil Armstrong

What do you wish you understood?

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The rules of who yields to whom can get pretty complicated. Buddhism suggests that we should just practice yielding in general, practicing non-attachment to having our way, so that we can accept life as it comes.

What are you learning to yield to?

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Inchworm, inchworm
Measuring the marigolds,
Seems to me
You’d stop and see
How beautiful they are.
—Frank Loesser

What have you slowed down to admire lately?

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“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.”
—William Hazlitt

How will you work a miracle today?

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There are wonders in the world that are beyond what we can imagine—not because we lack the science to explain them, but because our perspective on the world can never be broad enough to truly take it all in.

What scientific reality simply boggles your mind?

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The Great Wall of China is one of the Wonders of the World, one of the great triumphs of human engineering and determination. Some great wonders, like the stars, are simply there for us to view, but some marvels are there because we choose to make them happen.

How have you participated in creating something wondrous?

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“The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.”
― Huston Smith

How has learning deeply about something opened you to wonder?

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Anyone who has had their day brightened by the gift from a child of a bouquet of slightly wilted weeds knows that best presents are not always the most extravagant ones.

What gifts without cost have you given or received lately?

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“When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator.”
—Mahatma Gandhi

What wonders cause your soul to expand?

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Somehow this tree seems to invite you to climb up and nestle in its maze of roots or the crook of all its branches, up against the heart of its massive presence. You couldn’t make a home there, but you could certainly feel at home.

Who or what makes you feel welcomed and embraced?

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“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”
― W.B. Yeats

When has something that once seemed ordinary later come to fill you with wonder?

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Many of us see signs in everyday life—signals of blessings or warnings of potential danger. But those signs never come with lettering. They don’t actually say “stop” or “yield.” The message we take always comes from inside.

When have you received something that you took as a sign?

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“I find I am constantly being encouraged to pluck out some one aspect of myself and present this as the meaningful whole, eclipsing or denying the other parts of self.”
― Audre Lorde

What part of your identity do people most often notice? What part do they most often overlook?

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“I am not made like any of those I have seen. I venture to believe that I am not made like any of those who are in existence. If I am not better, at least I am different.”
― Jean Jacques Rousseau

How do you see yourself as different than those around you?

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We put tags on our pets so that if they should ever get lost, they could be recognized and brought home. Just a name, a phone number, maybe an address is enough.

What few words help you remember yourself and bring yourself back to a place of home?

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“It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if you have never faced it before. It is frightening when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question ‘who am I’ except the voice inside herself.”
― Betty Friedan

What have you learned about yourself by paying attention to the voice inside you?

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There’s much to be said for “going with the flow” or “not pushing the river.” But history is generally made by people who have a goal—a destination they are headed towards—and a vast determination not to stop.

What is your most urgent long-term goal?

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“All the books we own, both read and unread, are the fullest expression of self we have at our disposal. … But with each passing year, and with each whimsical purchase, our libraries become more and more able to articulate who we are, whether we read the books or not.”
― Nick Hornby

What would someone know about you from looking at your books?

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Our best friends are the people who can be honest with us, who we can trust to both know and tell the truth about us. But isn’t it wonderful when people—maybe even those same friends—can overlook our flaws and failings and just celebrate the best of who we are?

When you just look at the best of yourself, what do you see?

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“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”
― Harvey Fierstein

Who have you had to defy in order to define yourself?

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A crucial part of how we understand ourselves and our place in the world comes from our experiences of trust—of being safe and known and secure. The world is a scary place, but our experiences of safety and shelter give us the security to move through it with courage.

Who has sheltered you? Who do you shelter?

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“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.”
― Coco Chanel

What inspires you to choose boldly who you are and what you want?

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When we think of the defining moments of our lives, the challenges and tragedies most often come to mind—loss of a job or a relationship, death of a loved one, severe health challenges. But what if we saw our lives as being shaped just as strongly by the moments of great delight—the swim in a mountain lake, the glimpse of a double rainbow, the perfect cup of coffee on a chilly morning?

What moments of delight have shaped how you understand your life?

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“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.”
― Patrick Rothfuss

What piece of your story do you most often repeat to yourself

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Call it a crew, a posse, a gang, a book club, a coffee klatch or your BFFs, the people we hang out with are a crucial part of our identity. What we think and how we act are shaped in countless large and subtle ways by the circle of people who are close to us.

What group that you belong to most shapes your identity?

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“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
― Oscar Wilde

Who do you imitate?

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“Most people are planted in someone else’s soil, which means they’re a carbon copy. I say to them, uproot yourself. Get into your own soil. You may be surprised who you really are.”
― Jackie Shane, trans pioneer

When have you chosen to transplant yourself to live a more authentic life?

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“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontë

What “net” holds you back from expressing your true identity?

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June is the month of Gay Pride. But it’s just fine if you want to celebrate other facets of your identity, especially if they are aspects that society denigrates or ignores. There’s plenty of glitter to go around.

What aspect of your identity would you like to celebrate?

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“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.”
― Chuck Palahniuk

Who has most shaped your identity?

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We generally don’t notice our shadows when we are walking about. But it’s entirely possible that you are casting a long shadow, having an impact that you did not foresee, intend or even know about.

When have you learned after the fact about a way that you affected someone’s life?

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“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.”
― Brennan Manning

What helps you to remember that you are inherently loved?

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Why not? Why not love your own face, the face of a beloved, the face of a stranger? We’re taught to judge, to correct, to improve, to cover up flaws and paint on features. Why not just love what is there?

Please share something that is lovely about your face.

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“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.”
― Madonna

How do you experiment with your identity?

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Some ways we express our identities—like clothes, makeup and jewelry—are easy to put on and take off, and let us show different sides to the world on a daily basis. Some identities change in major ways in the middle of our lives, like becoming a parent or changing religious affiliation. Some identities, like race or family history, are with us for a lifetime.

What aspect of your identity has shifted the most? What has remained the most stable?

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“Perhaps it’s impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be.”
― Orson Scott Card

What identity have you taken on because circumstances demanded it?

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A large part of who we are is our relationships, the bonds of love and history and responsibility that tie us together, that give our lives shape and meaning.

What is a relationship that is a big part of your understanding of who you are?

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“What we know matters, but who we are matters more.”
― Brené Brown

When has learning about something outside you helped you to better understand who you are?

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