A few of Life's Wisdom
- I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
- I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
- I'm not just a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager.
- My Reality Check bounced.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
- You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
- I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
- I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
- Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
- Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
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