A collection of humor from around the 'net
The Miracle Cat Diet
If you are a cat person, you'll immediately identify with this. If you're a dog person, this will reinforce why...
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TOEFL???
UUs are known for their acronyms: YRUU, UUSC, DRE, UUMA, etc.
I have found a non-UU acronym that is amusing: TOEFL. It refers to a test taken by college students entering college in the U.S. if their first language is not English. The problem is that many folks have changed the name of the test, but not the acronym.
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Who needs a flu shot?
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
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What would you like them to say about you?
After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same question, "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
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Dear President Bush,
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you.
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The Bible and Homosexuality....
... When someone tries to defend homosexual lifestyles, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate - so simple - no need to even think about it. I do need some advice, however, regarding some of the specific Bible laws and how to follow them:
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Where's the library at?
A young man from Alabama was visitng Harvard University.
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Idiots
Careful, you may be laughing at yourself....
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Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say
(A Father's Day Classic)
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Train Conductor Language....
A mother, her son, and a train set
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Yeah, right....
In addition to the old lines about "The check is in the mail" and "Certainly, I'll respect you in the morning," modern events have made for modern lies to take their place among the classics. Following are some of the "new" classics:
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Excerpts from the Hickophonics Dictionary
The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone.
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Things My Mother Taught Me
Hear your Mother?
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"Squeaky Clean" Presidential Candidates
It is November of 2000 and you are voting for our new president and your vote counts. Here's the scoop on the three leading candidates:
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A few of Life's Wisdom
- I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
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Top Ten Ways You Know You Are in a Bad Church
10. The church bus has gun racks.
9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-Pastor.
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